Fun talk:Phonecalls from Microsoft

There is an article here, possibly for funspace. 82.44.143.26 (talk) 16:58, 15 November 2012 (UTC)

No, there is an article here, for deletion. Evil fascist^{oh noez} 17:02, 15 November 2012 (UTC)

The 'right nuisances' exist, and they can be responded to in various ways that are amusing to the recipient (and you might also be able to charge them for time-and-electicity wasting).

A mention on the Microsoft page then? 82.44.143.26 (talk) 17:11, 15 November 2012 (UTC)

Why? Nothing to do with the site's mission. Evil fascist^{oh noez} 17:18, 15 November 2012 (UTC)

Practice for contributing to Conservapedia and similar activities? 82.44.143.26 (talk) 17:28, 15 November 2012 (UTC)

The article has survived :) Anna Livia (talk) 18:10, 9 April 2018 (UTC)

Suggestion

Should there be a more general 'woo phonecalls' article?

They come in various forms - other categories include 'this is your bank'/'following your recent accident'/'you are paying too much for your (television) insurance', and people #are# scammed by them (especially in the early stages/more vulnerable people').

There could be a fun page response list as well:

• Why are you calling me?
• You are misinformed?
• Please give your full name and address - a major fraud inquiry involving this phone number is underway.
• Ditto - I am a (known very expensive) professional and I will have to bill you by the hour or part thereof.
• You are confusing me with the previous inhabitant who had the same name.
• This is the First Church of the Telephone. Ring 10 if you wish to discuss Christianity, 11 if Chthulu, 12 (strange faith of choice)...

Any more? Anna Livia (talk) 12:10, 11 April 2018 (UTC)

@Anna Livia I have a few I've always wanted to try or heard of.

• Pretend to be a drunk frat and tell them they're missing the orgy, repeat ad nauseam.
• Pretend to be a cop investigating a crime scene, then make increasingly ridiculous claims
• Pretend to try to scam/sell/advertise to them, depending on the type of caller.

☭Comrade GC☭^{Ministry of Praise} 16:58, 11 April 2018 (UTC)

• Channel Blakes Seven's Orac/HHGTTG's Marvin the Paranoid Android.
• Your call is valuable to us. You are number (random) in the queue. Please hold...

Would the general article be RW-missional and what would be a better title?

[1] is an example of fees. Anna Livia (talk) 17:40, 11 April 2018 (UTC)

• From the article, plus a new one:
  • I couldn't quite make that out. Could you please repeat? (Repeat ad infinitum. Thanks to good ol' Star Control 2 for this one)
  • My computer has started making funny noises (put an earphone next to the telephone's microphone while playing at maximum volume your prefered heavy metal band, if it's Death Metal or nastier (Grindcore, etc) much better).
  • (After listening to what he/she has to offer): Interesting. Could you offer me something better than (tell him/her something better, and he/she tries to improve it, set the bar lower and lower even including ludicrous claims until the caller quits). Panzerfaust (talk) 22:25, 11 April 2018 (UTC)

• A version of these wordplays. Anna Livia (talk) 21:25, 12 April 2018 (UTC)

Suggestion, part 2

This page be renamed along the lines of 'Scamming and spamming phonecalls' - the callers will change as people become familiar with particular money grabbers.

Another possible response from 'somewhere' - 'The voices in my head are arguing over your statements - can you call back in half an hour when they have agreed upon a response?' Anna Livia (talk) 11:07, 17 May 2019 (UTC)

The latest incarnation

… seems to be phonecalls from 'Amazon Prime': most of the responses here can be adapted.

What are the assorted prime number theories that could be brought into the conversation (so you waste enough of the caller's time for them to hopefully take you off their list)? Anna Livia (talk) 14:53, 27 August 2020 (UTC)