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With respect, sir, was Jesus a hippie?
Well he was. He had long hair and he didn't have a job; what else do you want?
—Kryten and Rimmer, Red Dwarf
After a few months of living the hippie lifestyle, you'll be so crusted with filth that you no longer need to wear clothes. Also really stoned.
...sandals, robes...long hair and some crazy ideas

Hippies have long hair, smoke marijuana and use LSD, burn their draft cards, wear sandals, and haven't voted since 1968, man. Most of them live in communes where they follow free love practices and sing "Kumbaya". Hippies often smell, because they are positively allergic to soap. — 'cause soap has chemicals, man. Except, of course, those who found and became devoted to Dr. Bronner's Soap. They even brush their teeth with it (seriously).

The Bible says: "Doth not even nature itself teach you, that, if a man have long hair, it is a shame unto him?"(1 Corinthians 11:14) (but like Jesus had long hair, so it was okay, man). Clearly, then, hippies are an ABOMINATION unto the LORD. There is a definite correlation between the long hair, draft dodging, effeminate men, the rock and roll beat, drugs, atheism, the occult, smelly unwashed feet, and sandals on the feet, and in fact if Jesus were here today He would strike down every hippie right on the spot and cast them into the Lake of Fire.

What a bummer, man. They talk about God, but like when we drop acid and smoke pot, like we talk with God, man.

In reality, hippies were the ones who were smart enough not to get into an senseless killing spree of a war. Yeah man, like we ended the war, man.

There is a cure![edit]

Before visiting Conservapedia Muskogee

Visiting Conservapedia Muskogee (Oklahoma, USA) can free the filthy hippie from this disgusting lifestyle. Only Conservapedia Muskogee has teh truth about liberal deceit, hippie peacenicks, gay bowel syndrome, and where kangaroos came from. Visit Conservapedia Muskogee today - before you find yourself with long hair, venereal disease, and your brain damaged by the heathen devil weed marijuana!

Afterwards. "Thanks Conservapedia Muskogee! I no longer have deceitz!!"
We don't smoke marijuana in Conservapedia Muskogee

We don't take our trips on LSD
We don't burn our draft cards down on Main Street

We like living right, and getting drunk and disorderly being free.

Peace, man. [Hippie makes "V" sign]

See also[edit]