Mission: America

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Gay free zone
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Fighting the gay agenda
Judge not
That ye be not judged

Mission: Impossible America is a wingnut noise-box founded and run by former advertising executive and current kook Linda Harvey, also a contributor to WorldNutDaily. Its mission (should it choose to accept it) is to ramble on incoherently about how everything that Mrs. Harvey dislikes (in particular, homosexuality) is either "covert paganism" or "homosexual recruitment" and part of a Big Secret Plot to destroy America and Christianity.

Since around February 2011, someone has been trying to remove content of this article, claiming it is defamatory.[1] This probably means it's quite accurate, then.


According to a manifesto posted on Mission: America's website,[2] Mrs. Harvey effected a conversion to (wingnutty) Christianity circa 1992. Among the bombshells of truth with which she was hit at that time were:

  • Homosexuality disgusted her. This qualified it as an abomination against which she had a divine commission to rant. (Perhaps she should also set up the Anti-Mudball-Fighting League as a parallel ministry.)
  • There is no "escape clause" from the Mosaic Law. (Heard of the Gospel, lady?)
  • Non-Christians are living in Oz,Wikipedia as evidenced by their idea that "good" and "witch"Wikipedia belong in the same sentence.
  • Genesis is a literal account.

Although reading a single verse in the Bible[3] was enough to set her on a years-long crusade against the behavior it condemned, for some inexplicable reason, upon reading certain other verses, she did not see fit even to cease the behavior they condemned.


Against homosexuality[edit]

Being convinced that the fight against gay rights is a fight for civilization,[4] Mission:America engages in extensive campaigns to promote The Truth About Homosexuality. They instruct that you must absolutely forbid your children to have any >eeewww!< gay friends; the kid might learn to doubt the bullshit you're feeding him Gospel TruthTM about what gays are like. Besides, the gay friend will probably wind up raping him.[4][5] They also have it that homosexuality is a mental health disorder and there is no scientific research indicating that one is "born gay", so obviously one must have witch-hunts to rout the homosexual agenda from the schools, which is where children become gay via rampant homosexual recruitment.[6] This is done by means of a "Risk Audit" sheet that rates the school's policies; if the school fails the risk audit, it is considered a "clear and present danger" to children. A school may fail the risk audit by having any of the following in place:[6]

  • An anti-harassment or anti-bullying program.
  • A non-discrimination policy.
  • Any mention of the words "diversity", "tolerance", or "sensitivity".
  • Books in the school library treating homosexuality in a "misleading" (read: not hysterically damning) light.
  • Sex education programs that "assume all students are at risk of AIDS" and "need to be taught about use of condoms". (Obviously it is only gays who can get AIDS, or...pregnant, it seems.)

The solution that the organization has in mind, of course, is to ban any and all gay people from teaching or generally having anything to do with youth.[7]

Against paganism[edit]

Mission:America is excessively paranoid about neopaganism, particularly Wicca; this is understandable, because they think you can become a full-blown pagan without realizing it.[8] Doing any of the following things make you, in the eyes of Mission: America, a pagan:

  • Celebrating Halloween, a pagan holiday.[9]
  • Trading in Pokémon cards. Such a spiritually sick activity also causes autism, apparently.[10]
  • Practicing the satanic art of yoga.[11]
  • Reading the Harry Potter books.[12]
  • Letting your daughter grow up to date someone with corrupted blood, such as a vampire.[13]
  • Not practicing Christianity to Mrs. Harvey's particular pleasure.[14] Even Presbyterians are considered to be apostates who need the Gospel preached at them,[11] and having anything to do with the Democrats is also a big no-no.[15] A church is also "false" if it teaches children about doing good deeds, raises money for a downtown soup kitchen instead of an anti-abortion center, or supports women's rights.[16]