Methamphetamine

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The "meth" is on the right, attached to the amine (HN), the "am" (alpha-methyl) in the middle, with a phenylethylamine backbone. Methamphetamine, in expanded nomenclature, is N-methylamphetamine. Amphetamine is alpha-methylphenylethylamine.[note 1]

Methamphetamine, also known as "meth", "speed", "ice", "crystal", " is a synthetic drug which causes your car to end up on blocks and your trailer to get really messy[citation NOT needed]. Its users often embark on binges lasting as long as two or three weeks, with no sleep. The crash is very painful, although a little Valium might help.[note 2]

The effects and dangers of crystal meth[edit]

Methamphetamine causes you to feel very euphoric, very stimulating, very energised, and very focused. Because of that, it is technically a nootropic, and a ridiculously powerful (and fun dangerous) one. The side effects of meth include: anxiety, paranoia, restlessness, sleep paralysis, psychosis, dysphoria, and addiction. Unlike amphetamine, and most other amphetamines, methamphetamine is directly neurotoxic, meaning it is a literal poison that kills your dopamine and serotonin receptors.[1] It also increases your risk of developing Parkinson's disease due to the aformentioned neurotoxicity.[2]

"Speed Bad"[edit]

Meth is one of the most (if not the most) addictive and dangerous drug in the world (though as is often the case, rather less damaging than police, politicians and prosecutors angling at political careers tend to claim).[3] It makes the user hallucinate, making it as if there are bugs crawling under their skin, causes the user to feel jittery and nervous as fuck, and causes the user to be unable to sleep (leading to psychosis). But if you really want to scream obscenities about nonexistent bugs crawling under your skin, or if you really want to get fourth-degree burns making this shit, or if you really want to get stabbed by a methhead at the back alley, go for it.[note 3]

Environmental impact of methamphetamine production[edit]

The manufacture of methamphetamine, "meth-cooking" as the kids call it, is dangerous to both those involved and the environment. Depending on the method used, it is estimated that the production of one pound of meth results in five to seven pounds of chemical waste, and it's reasonable to assume that the kind of person who'd build an illegal meth lab is not likely to be taking great care in the disposal of the resulting waste.[4]

The little fucker itself.

As anyone who's watched the television program Breaking Bad can tell you, cooking meth requires significant lab safety equipment in order to be done without poisoning or burning the cooks. When a meth lab is raided, special precautions have to be made by investigators and cleanup crews to prevent explosions or inhalation poisoning—in an urban setting, whole blocks are often required to be evacuated and cordoned off in order to prevent injury or death to the surrounding populace.

Trivia[edit]

In America, you're able to legally get methamphetamine in the form of Desoxyn;[5] that is, if you have ADHD and your doctor prescribes you this,[note 4] congratulations, you now have the most dangerous drug in America (albeit in a safer package). It's mostly safe as long as one follows the doctor's advice (don't snort it, don't slam it, and don't up your dose).

See also[edit]

  • Ted Haggard, the heterosexual (totally not gay) preacher who bought meth from a male prostitute (which is not for having sex with the aformentioned prostitute). Claims that he didn't actually use the meth (but if he did, it would have been in a very heterosexual manner).
  • Not Rob Ford – he preferred crack[citation NOT needed].

Notes[edit]

  1. This is totally how IUPAC standard nomenclature works.
  2. According, of course, to Lou Reed, in "Walk on the Wild Side".
  3. This is sarcasm. Don't do meth.
  4. Which is very unlikely considering that the very idea of prescribing one's hyperactive child the most dangerous drug in America is appalling

References[edit]