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Template:Goem

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I would do it in a boat,
I would do it with a

Goat
Icon goat.svg
Shall I compare thee
to a summer's day?

What a mighty specimen is the goat! What strength! What endurance! What capriciousness![1] In action how like an Angel! In apprehension how like a God! The beauty of the world! The paragon of animals![2] How noble in thine aspect, so excellent a beast! How noble to the cause of science, that the stench of bullshit may never batter thine brow! How noble to the cause of consumption, that your meat may always grace our stomachs! To compare thee to your fellow bovidae, would be to compare Hyperion to a satyr![3]

  1. A quality named after goats.
  2. Apologies to any Hamlet lovers.
  3. Satyrs were half goat and half human, and thus can be referred to here in the inferior sense.