Conservapedia:What is going on at CP?/October 2010

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Ken's World: Obama is giving welfare cases taxpayer-funded cellphones!img Reality: The cell phone subsidy program was created under President George W. Bush, not Obama, and isn't taxpayer funded. Bonus points for diligent scholarship: Gentleman Ken fails to even read his own source.


The Rally to Restore Sanity didn't quite get its message acrossimg toimg everyone...img


It can't not be true! "Obama Disapproval Hits Lowest Low Ever"img


Ed hits the ground running in a three-year-old conversation, correcting the good doctor on the point that his observations of morphing vestigial structuresimg are not incredible, they're unbelievableimg.


Welcome to Conservapedia's guide to defending the indefensibleimg


Andy: 'Atheist-led Microsoft is a dying brand!'img The death throes speak for themselves


A son of Phyllis "You can't rape a wife" Schlafly - Roger, not Andy - begins to water down the Marital Rapeimg article. Quelle surprise.


JPatt has entered the final level of Schlaflyism, using his grandmother as a source.img


Eek! Those creepy liberals at Google are at it again, trying to sell some dumb terminals stab your hard drive in its sleep and view all your smut files!img


A particularly ironic specimen of an Ed stub.img


Ed: It is "leftist propaganda" to suggest that Benito Mussolini had some sort of falling out with socialism. Why? Because Jonah Goldberg called him a "lifelong socialist."img UPDATE: Now energized, Ed goes on a Ken-like editing binge, noting that Mussolini wasn't a journalist,img he was and he created Fascism,img he didn't


Fairly consistent line of CP boilerplate: More Americans are turning conservative because liberal claptrap doesn't work.img Andy: Liberal claptrap doesn't work because more Americans are turning conservative.img


With no sense of irony, Andy proclaims "Blogs are written by fools..."img UPDATE: Who's the more foolish: the blogging fool, or the fool who follows quotes the blogger?img


Driven by his Global Warming agenda, Ed briefly forgetsimg that CP tends to frown on sources that assume evolution and an old Earth to be true.


Andy puts up a stat about Bible sales on 10/24img and it takes one dayimg for him to decide against using a source whose entire point is that niche Bible translations (like the Conservapedia Bible Project) are eroding the Bible as the "authoritative word of God" and making it "something trivial": "It is in effect moving away from a common membership in the body of Christ into disparate, confusing misrepresentations of the rich wisdom of Scripture, which ought to unify us."


Diplomacyimg, that evil atheist weapon.


Well, it was only a matter of timeimg


The Schlafly brothers are at it again!img


Gentlemen. Are we absolutely certain Schlafly isn't a parodist?img


Where will it end? "Obama's a Muslim... Atheist... Communist.... No! He's Hitler!"img


Mr DeMyer, the reason DebbieT can't respond to your obfuscation is not that the "cat has gotten her tongue"img, rather that she's blocked for five years,img you cretinous, deceitful moron.


Wiki expert user 188 creates a top notch date-related template.img Completely unrelated: #188 seeks help regarding date-related templates on Wikipedia.


Andy takes a leaf out of Ed Poor's bookimg with the newest stub in his family-friendly encyclopedia. Update: Still a stub, but thanks to Terry Koeckritz we know about another anti-American characteristicimg. Expect the application of a liberal x category in 3, 2, 1...


No, Roger, just noimg. There is no sensible formulation of mechanics that makes Geocentrism and Heliocentrism (with center-of-mass correction) equivalent formulations for the solar system. There are inertial frames and non-inertial frames, and they are different. It's true that the "covariant equations" you are so fond of let you use any coordinates you want, but the Christoffel symbols can distinguish inertial (e.g. Heliocentric) and non-inertial (e.g. Geocentric) frames. And, by the way, none of this requires relativity, which is a good thing, since relativity is debunked 32 times overimg at CP. Geocentrism is OK for Google maps, but not for describing the solar system.


Canada, deviating slightly from its big-government, pork-barrel policies, refuses "Fox News North" access to public funding (although it could still operate with its own money, if enough Canadians were willing to pay for it). To Jpatt, this constitutes a Commie wall of liberal censorship.img


Juan Williams makes insensitive comments about Muslims and he loses his job for "Freedom of Speechimg"; Helen Thomas makes insensitive comments about Israelis and she loses her job for "ignorance and racismimg"


Jpatt crows that homeschooling is moving into the mainstream.img Irony: it is doing so because creationist kooks are becoming less and less relevant in the homeschooling scene.


Andy: "Of course Jesus was pro-life! Most of his miracles were life-saving."img Which makes a nice change from that vicious sadist in the Old Testament.


A shaft of red smoke shoots to the sky and marks the end of the Bible course, as TeacherEd declares it temporarily suspended.img


JPratt, with no sense of irony, updates "Obama's Muslim agenda" with the fact that he's planning to sell billions of dollars worth of weapons to Saudi Arabia.img So, would that make George W. a Muslim too, seeing as he sold $20bn worth to the Saudis?


Fresh off his success in the recall of Senator Robert Menendez our intrepid attorney hero Andy Schlafly heads to North Dakotaimg for a redux. (Transcript)


Roger the Dodger returns, on some weird liberal quest for facts, it seems.img


Conservapedia describes Margaret Thatcher with the very Orwellian sounding epithet "Freedom Patriot"img doubleplusungood.


Jpatt proves that Conservative hasimg noimgmachismo


Conservapedia: Less than four years after starting the conservative alternative to Wikipedia, Senior Administrators are reduced to blogging about Obama's recent meals.img


'Conservatism is sweeping the nation!'img What's that? Something bad has happened? 'The progressives are taking over!'img


What kind of people would stoop so low as to attack another person's religious beliefs!?img Oh...img


Atheists are white, unmarried, socially challenged nerdsimg. A perfect quote for the main page of an encyclopedia from a white, unmarried, socially-challenged nerd.


TK, apparently oblivious to the irony: That nanny state shouldn't be doing that!img


Ken: Hispanic men live longer because there are fewer feminists in their families to cause stress.img


Daniel1212 has switched topics. Instead of the Seven Plagues, he is discussing the bloodyimg plague of bedbugs.img


Atheism: the silent killerimg (so silent only Andy has heard about it)


Imagine being 12 years old and told, "you're unnatural and immoral and your god hates you"img


Andy: Baseball player Cal Ripken's hair started to turn gray in his mid 30'simg. This is proof of a young Earth.


'God saved the miners!'img 'No, capitalism saved the miners!'img (Never mind that the higher safety standards in Chile's state-owned mines would likely have prevented the mine collapse.)


TK: 'Did Michelle Obama engage in unlawful electioneering?!'img Well, if you had been bothered to finish reading the article you'd have discovered the


What's in the News? "A humorous political cartoon on Obama administration staff members fleeing his administration."img It's not as if there's anything more important going on in the world...


Andy: "How do liberals manage to get by avoiding conservative words?"img You know, words like "transistor" and "schlockumentary."


Bringing balance to the Trusworthy Encyclopedia, BishoiH deletes everything about the Muhammad-wife-age debateimg and unilaterally decides the prophet Muhammad was a paedophile.


It appears that the Director of counter intelligence has been advising the Redneck of severely limited intelligence; the result? We'll blast them thar commies for y'all! Uh-huck!img


Remember the shit-storm when Terry Koeckritz plagiarised the UCLA article? Well, at least now there's nobody left to call him out, as he doesimg the same for the University of Nevada. UPDATE: It looks as though we hurt his sensitive feelings. He is onimg aimg rampageimg. Oh, Terry, you're so cute when you're angry! MORE: "This definition of plagiarism makes me look bad, so I'm going to delete it and write one that allows me to copy/paste articles."img


Once upon a time, the friendly homskoller teacher told his pupilsimg that they could gain extra credit if they translated "at least 5 verses for the Conservapedia Bible Translation project". "That's easy!", exclaimed Andy, the class swot who knew everything. "The whole CBP project was my idea!" The teacher finished his notes on 9 Octoberimg and waited for his eager pupils to hand in their work. Twoimg by threeimg the responses came, until little Andy handed in his own workimg. "It... it's not finished yet, sir", said little Andy, and handed in several other lines over the next nine hoursimg. The teacher wondered if little Andy was going to aim for the extra credit, since the CBP was Andy's own project. "Oh! I've got some great ideas for that!", exclaimed little Andy. "Rich people are wonderful!" and he made Jesusimg say soimg. "Is there anything else?", asked the teacher. Little Andy thought for an hour. "Well..." he whined, "I could editimg what more cleverer people already did?". "I see...", said the teacher. "Anything else?" "Well," said little Andy, "I could make some textimg written in the 17th century difficult more understand it was than now then to?" "Excellent work!" said the teacher. "I'm sure you want to keep translating more?" "No." said little Andy. "If I did all the work, why would I need so many parodists?" The End


TK: "I took the time to carefully upload this imageimg so it's my Own Work". Joaquín Martínez: (of all people!) Well... it's actually sourced from Wiki Commonsimg. TK: It's MINEimg, I tell you!!! ALL MINE!!! TK Hmm... you might have a pointimg. JM: Don't try to play cute with meimg.


Joaquín Martínez adds a quote from the Conservative Bibleimg to the mainpage — from, of all places, the Pericope Adulterae.img


Andy, in an attempt to worm his way out of hELL, changes the wording of Matthew 19:24img.


A list of evil liberals who refuse to debate!img (if by 'refuse' you mean 'agree',img and if by 'debate' you mean 'debate with only one other person'img)


SamHB: "Ed, why did you deleteimg when you could improve? I'm trying to work with you here!" - Ed: "I'm a senior editor and you are justimg someimg newbie.img While you prepare a Writing Plan for me, why don't you look at my excellent new articleimg to see how it's done?"


Breaking news: In addition to being a Muslim, a socialist, and an America-hater, Obama is an >ugh!< anti-colonialist.img


Andy: "I think I'm going to express the beauty of intelligent design with a blurry, overblown pixelated imageimg." UPDATE TK: The best way to improve thisimg is with a pictureimg of a GODLESS ATHEIST lane in "Autumn" (whatever that is).


Stop blaming past governments for economic failures... start giving credit to potential future governments for economic successesimg


A professor no one has heard of resigns from the physical society over global warming? Sounds like important news!img


Andy: "Observe! Our new layer is at 0-0-4-9img in perfect fulfill-..." *frowns* ... "Observe! Our new layer is at 0-0-4-8img in perfect fulfillment of Conservapedia's Law!"


One from the business pages: there's been some Trouble in Tinseltown, leading to a merger and debt refinancing. What caused the bankruptcy and re-emergence of MGM Studios? Why, Hollywood Valuesimg, of courseimg!


"Daddy? Daddy? Why are there poor people?" "Because Jesus said so."img


Glove slap: Terry Koeckritz tells Ken to change his username,img since being opposed to what happened at Abu Ghraib makes him like PJR rather than a conservative.


Andy, having decisively trounced relativity, is now eager to see Newtonian mechanicsimg replaced by Biblical scientific foreknowledge.


Andy insight #35446474: Wikipedia is biased because they don't have an article on my totally made up insights into the Bible foretelling science.img


Terry Koeckritz prevents creation of a page named "Liberal Logic" on the grounds that "there is no such thing."img Yeah, about thatimg...


Andy with more Biblical scientific foreknowledge:img No one has ever lived past 120 years (except for Jeanne Calment). This apparently confirms a theoretical maximum age set down in the Bible. (Never mind such figures as Abraham, Noah, Shem, Arphaxad, Salah, Eber, etc.) UPDATE: Those men were saints and don't disprove the rule.img


JPratt (Oct): In typical liberal fashion, attendees were bussed in to the One Nation rally.img Andy (Jan): In 2009, Conservapedia sent one full bus to the March for Life rally, and in 2010 we're sending two buses!img


After Jpatt adds a just facts blurbimg about CNN firing Rick Sanchez, Andy comes through and "improves" itimg noting that liberals do not let anyone criticize liberals. It had nothing to do with that whole "Jews are not an oppressed minority" thing.


User: "I have a legitimate question."img Ed: "No bitching. Show me your writing plan!"img