Conservapedia:What is going on at CP?/September 2009

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19

See? We're not racist, this prominent academic scholar random guy on Youtube criticized Obama and HE'S BLACK!img ps, Ken Stop wasting your life on Youtube, it's not healthy.

20

Did Conservapedia's article on Harry Potter show witchcraft in a good light? Gotta fix thatimg. Otherwise, the slippery slope can lead from Harry Potter to homosexuality, and then (shudder!) evolution! More: Burn the witch!img

64

The rape of teh Bible continues - Jesus wore "comfortable and nice"img clothes. No kaftan and sandals for this hippie.

15

Conservapedia. Ever-vigilant in exposing dangerous trendsimg, like diverting students from coursework for political indoctrination, or Presidential worship.

182

User: "No Andy, this is how it goes."img Andy: "Last wordism!"img User: "Fine; I shall say no more."img Andy: "Ha! See how evolutionists run from public debates!"img

6

A user accuses the Potato article of being written by a third grader - RJJensen proudly steps forwardimg to accept his award. User: You're full of shit!img RJ: Shut up!img.

40

Jpatt is again showcasing that he is better at being a parodist than any real parodist ever was fighting an enemyimg that can't be seen and mustn't be discussed.

76

Barack Obama? Pfft! Did you mean OSAMA BIN LADEN?!?!?'img

86

User:The breast cancer article needs to be more truthfulimg. RJJensen's response: BANHAMMER! For lib-bur-al name callingimg Moments later from another user: I have proof Schlafly doesn't abide to the truth.img. DouglasA: Pffft!!! Insulting nonsense!img The other user: But my comments aren't insulting, I was just direct quoting in relating to the debate. This is blasphemy! This is censorship!img Joaquín Martínez: Censorship?img THIS IS BANHAMMER!!img

23

After Jpatt yells "INDOCTRINATION!"img, Karajou decides to play Godwin's AND North Korea's lawimg.

27

It's 'Wiki Guessin' Time!': "XXX-pedia is bad because many of the articles are locked, contain biased information and users are blocked for inserting factual information"img.

15

Andy displays his mathematical virtuosity once moreimg: Claiming that "complex analysis assumes a unique, algebraically manipulable square root of negative 1" isn't wrong, it's "silly". Like, duh!

18

Justice prevailsimg! Conservapedia takes its rightful place in Wikimedia's list of largest wikis. Yes, there it is, behind Wikipedia in Georgian, but slightly ahead of Memory Alpha.

30

Jpatt can'timg quiteimg decideimg which conservative sacred cow to "Cowtow" to.

5

Jpatt blocks 'Gayrights' and asks for a real nameimg, then blocks WFriedkin for "inappropriate or vulgar name"img. Cpnfusded mchu, Japtt?

74

Huh?img (Wigo author actually rendered speechless) UPDATE The "reason" appears to be JPratt seems to think that "Homosexual Obsession" and "Obsessed Homosexual"img are the same thing. UPDATE Userimg accuses Jpatt of vandalism on Andy's talk page. Jpatt blocksimg "troublemaker". Andy revertsimg Jpatt. Jpatt deletesimg comment from Andy's talk page. Huh?

15

One for the "Wait, What?!" Department. In CP's ongoing attempt to libel the President, they refer to him as "aka Barry Soetoroimg." What do they use as a reference? PRAVDA! Rob must be having a fit!

75

More proof of a young Earth. this editimg somehow claims that the changes in the Earth's magnetic field must be exponential, and so the Earth can't possibly be old. It cites a web page from NASA. That web page has a graph showing that the field changes are anything but exponential. And it mentions that "There have been about 170 of these [magnetic field] reversals during the last 76 million years ..." Hardly an endorsement of a 6000 year old Earth. UPDATE Someone points out the "76 million years" bit. Andy revertsimg, calling it "biased and unprovable speculation" and leaves thisimg classic Andyism.

11

Andy, the rewriter of the conservative bible, objects to someone being PC with the Bibleimg

34

Really, Ken? A fat joke?img UPDATE: Stop it! You're killing me!!!img

102

Schlafly notes with prideimg that someone thanked CP for teaching her that the first Thanksgiving was to give thanks for the Constitution. Even CP's page says that that Thanksgiving was in 1619 or 1621! Uhhhh, when was the Constitution written?

41

The main page cites a report that the weather in Michigan this summer has been among the coldest on recordimg, along with statistics expert Schlafly's usual claims that this disproves global warming. A user pipes up with (as of this minute, they seem to keep coming) citations that the weather is extremely hot in Texasimg, Viet Namimg, the Pacific Northwestimg, Northern Canadaimg, British Columbiaimg, and Texas againimg. How long until the banhammer? UPDATE A Chipimg off the Old Earth?

44

A user makes a brilliant post about how changes in society moves civilization forwardimg. Ed Poor's response: BLAH! BLAH! BLAH! Too long; didn't readimg. And Ed brings in the banhammerimg and pressed the vaporize buttonimg.

25

Lib-bur-ull censorship!img Andy's Merriam-Webster dictionary omits the term "invisible hand" (but not really).

3

Two young fellows have existential crises.img Instead of getting psychological help, each comes to his own tragic end: one steps in front of a truck and the other retreats into his own little dream world.

36

Computer Programmer Ed rants at no one in particularimg about one of his pet peeves with Windows. Ever heard of rmdir, Ed? UPDATE: Ed rejects a sourced quoteimg in favor of his own rant, complete with an out-of-the-blue assertion that meat is the natural food of dogs.img

36

JDWPianist explainsimg that the Telegraph article does not actually contain any race-baiting. Andy replies: LA-LA-LA-LA-LA; I CAN'T HEAR YOU!img

33

Andy: The most conservative of the British papers is still liberal, in the same way that a brilliant third-grade student is still a third-grade student.img

38

Andy shows his illiterate side again: The Brits are performing lib-burr-rul race baitingimg in an article on the Joe Wilson issue. He obviously did not read the part of the article that says, "Crying racism can be a cheap way of shutting down debate. By attempting to marginalise Mr Wilson as a racist, Democrats are playing a dangerous game."

-67

Woops, looks like it dun broke.img

15

Ed makes a guideimg to translation from outdated HTML markup, then promptly improves it with outdated HTML markup.img

-6

Andy: Lib-burr-ruls are deliberately ignorant about economics and the Bible,img and stare blankly when questioned about them.img On the other hand Andy's preferred response is to revertimg andimg stick his fingers in his ears.img

8

Karajou: Obama plans to make illegal immigrants legal. Therefore, illegal immigrants can get health care. This vindicates Joe Wilson's outburst.img

14

RobS: Obama is unqualified to preach morals to Wall Street until he "satisfactorily explains" why a certain conspiracy theory is false.img Of course, the only "satisfactory" explanation for Rob is probably, "I'm the Kingpin of Corruption and Gov. Blagojevich was my fall guy."

0

Better.img Better.img Better!img Better!!!img BETTER!!!img BETTER!!!111!!!one!!!img

16

Andy: JPratt... I've learned a great deal from your insightsimg. (No wonder he's still a moron then.) JPratt: I have yet to reach my potentialimg. (Kind of an understatement don't you think?)

6

Andy challenges his students to tell him if a price ceiling produces a surplus or a shortage.img Then he plies his artistic skills and lets slip the answer.

52

Andy cleans out evilutionist lies, such as the absurd proposition that valleys formed by erosion,img instead of being formed by a flood.

9

Count on ACORN to laugh at the rest of us.img Count on the rest of us to laugh at Conservapedia as they hack up the same shtick for the umpteenth time.

7

This site Discontent with the federal government is growing rapidly!img

83

Ed:img There were arguably more people at the 9/12 rallies than there were protesting the Iraq war. User:img "It's beyond arguable; it's a fact." Ed:img Don't get terse with me. You sound like a liberal. You're on probation. User:img But I was agreeing with you! Ed: Blockedimg andimg revertedimg - "Insistence on last-wordism".

18

Rob seems to have gone off his meds.img Who came up with this M*A*S*H unit idea, Rob? The Voices in your head?

24

Andy: Evolution apparently can't explain jellyfish swarms.img Therefore, evolution is a pile of bunk.

22

Conservapedia:img A homeless man beats a woman to death with a hammer. People in his town had previously let him off scot-free after he stole from them. This happened in Vermont. Therefore, lib-burr-ruls hate society. Reality: A spate of petty crimes hits a Vermont town. The townsfolk think a local homeless man is responsible, and try to find him. Meanwhile, he beats a woman to death with a hammer.

-6

In a startling turn-around, Andy considers the removal of some global-warming boilerplate to be improving an article.img

18

Andy: But the "them" is grammatically incorrect but avoids using a gender-specific pronoun.img

73

Andy publicly abusesimg one of his history students, #13, LydiaM, over her homeworkimg. (We do not know whether Lydia is a parodist/faker; it's not important.) Andy is particularly shocked by the misspelling "reforamation", and says that this "seems a like a mistake an uninformed public school person would make." We won't waste your internet bandwidth with 20 screenfuls of misspellings by Andy and his homeschooled minions (except this oneimg, a reply to Lydia.) Andy asks how long Lydia has been beating his wife attending public school. She says she's a homeschooler. Ouch!

30

Inverted notability criteria: Alan Turing's homosexuality stopsimg being notableimg the moment the British government apologizesimg for mistreating him because of it.

40

2 million patriotsimg march on Washington D.C. to protest health care reform and prove that they are the true majority! Well actually it was more like 60-70,000 people... but hey who's counting? For scale, this is less than 1/3 the number of people who marched in the 2009 Gay Pride parade in the same city.[1]

27

RJJensen: "This is a serious encyclopaedia!"img Your days are numbered, Sonny Jim!

27

To Ken What does a business deal have ANYTHINGimg to do with Richard Dawkins? UPDATE - WTFimg?

2

Ken Hey everyone, 100% free-market capitalism and Christianity makes South Korea doing well with low unemploymentimg! Reality: Apparently not for the younger generations in regards to the job market.

29

Ken detonates irony meters across four time zones by blockingimg a user for five years for adding "poorly cited contributions".

20

Ken goes Woot! Woot!img in regards to India's decision on homosexuality. Reality check: While homosexuality in India is de jure illegal, the law is de facto rarely enforced. Not to mention this.

30

Once again Ed Poor kisses Andy's ring and fails to understandimg what "equal rights" means.

12

An article about Pong?img You're blocked for POV editing, removal of valid content, material without references, falsehood and LIES!!!img

43

You cannot be serious Jpatt...img. Update: Jpatt finds censoring easier than answeringimg.

16

A prominent journalist leaves ABC for Fox News.img His aim? Making a break from "partisan" news networks.

14

RJJensen: "Conservatism represents a broad coalition of many different Christians and non-Christians."img Whatever happened to Conservapedia's "support teacher-led Christian prayer in public schools or you're a lib-burr-rul" shtick?

7

User FOIA,img well-known for producing CP's epic "Alger Hiss" article, now seems to be gunning for the Ken award on that article: 18 edits in 32 minutes, then 40 more in 84 minutes, then 26 more in 52 minutes. And he continues. This guy has edited this page 1830 times!

-10

A red telephone message uncovered?!?!?img

10

Jpatt: Providing humanitarian aid to Gaza = funding Hamas!!!img User: You made a grammar mistake and I doubt the guys at White House would do such a thingimg. Jpatt: Thanks! And Snopes are bunch of liarsimg. Jpatt (moments later): Snopes proves the money won't be used to relocate Palestinians to America!!!img

27

Andy is wetting his pants with excitementimg at the thought that corporations will be able to fund campaigns directly, laughably assuming that this means automatic wins for wingnuts like himself.

32

RobS points out that under ObamaCare compulsory insurance will be mandatory!img In other news, under ObamaCare, oranges will be orange!

53

Andy:img it's well-known outside liberal college campuses that feminists have no sense of humor. Look, 30,000 hits on Yahoo proves it! User:img But "conservatives" "no sense of humor" gets 87,000 hits!

-14

Despite Jpatt's best "eefort," he still can only come up with semi-logorrheic drivel.img

1

Andy opposesimg a plan to make everyone buy health insurance, thinking it a lib-burr-rul scheme. Odd, but we recall that a very similar plan was made by a certain arch-conservative...

5

Breaking news:img A forum post on my.barackobama.com official BarackObama.com press release calls for phoning your senators in support of public health care making a communist revolution against opponents of Obama, Van Jones, and the teachers' union. (The response to this initiative has been astounding, with 41,953,690,525 people signing up to do it.)

17

It is part of feminist styleimg to, in fiction movies, "portray nearly all the women are portrayed as flawless and strong, and nearly all the mean as flawed and weak." Yet another High-Quality Article with No Grammatical Errors.

41

Andy - How absurd! Amputation doesn't cost 30-50 thousand dollars!img. Reality - Amputation costs 30-50 thousand dollars!

19

Thisimg is asking for a block! Update: Mr. Thorough does his job: Banhammerimg + Total Nuke of all pages ever created by the user.

4

In TK's welcome absence: remarkably few blocks, more Andy insights, new editors able to actually edit, sky still not falling.

105

A userimg gets 8/12 on Andy's atheist-bible-knowledge questionnaire! Andy: "I doubt you're an atheist"img... User: "I am, but thanks."img Andy: Oh... well then, you must have learned about the Bible before you went to atheistic public school, right?img User: no, quite the opposite I'm afraid.img Andy FTW: "Yeah.... well.... atheists censor classroom prayer!img

20

Someone puts a lot of negative characteristics (Bigotryimg, Hateimg, Corruptionimg, Treacheryimg, Gossipimg) and our favorite: sexual immoralityimg into the liberal traitsimg category. Mark Foley, Larry Craig, David Vitter, John Ensign, and Mark Sanford will surely be surprised to learn that they have been engaging in liberal behavior.

20

RJJensen: Louis XIV is showing off his dancing legsimg in a portrait. Karajou: We don't want no dancing French sissies in tights around here!img UPDATE: RJJ steps right back into it by reverting the Swab.img Karajou doesn't like thatimg, and Joaquin doesn't want peonsimg getting involved either.

26

Andy! Andy! Look at me!img I've put some disjointed gibbering an essayimg right in the middle of a mainspace article! Here's hoping you overlook it because it's got the "right idea," viz., Feminism can go to the devil; maybe it already has.img UPDATE: Andy drools all over it.img

12

Look at us! We're 37th on the list of the top 50 wingnut-loony sites!img (No thanks to the vandals and bots reloading?) (and it was March 2009, Ken, not May.)

21

Kenny steps into the breach with a spot of research The Boss won't appreciateimg. The Boss suspiciously answersimg, and wants to kick Kenny in the nuts. AMAZING NEXT STEP! Who knew he had it in him? Kenny makes a fantastic, well written defenseimg (without requiring ten edits) of his theory. Andy sticks his fingers in his earsimg and ignores Kennys main point, which even more brilliantly, Kenny points outimg. Is Ken the next to lose Faith in His Highness?

15

A new user answersimg the callimg. How will Andy respond? The reply: About 50% right and I'll be sarcastic about it too.img

-7

Just a little more pornimg

49

Andy's economics course gets off to a good startimg. UPDATE Andy showsimg just what a remarkable teacher he isimg.

4

Unlike all those liberal translations of the Bible, conservative ones won't be tainted by politics.img Bonus: Andy admits that there's a correlation between advanced education and adherence to liberal/feminist values.'Cause liberals are smarter.

21

PRAISE THE LORD, WE HAVE A NEW ANDY-ESSAY!!!...list of Bible-centered questionsimg atheists (and likely most non-fundamentalists) are likely to get wrong. ...okay...and another opportunity to bash public school studentsimg (and would you think Andy would feel the same outrage over their lack of knowledge of, let's say, evolution?)

-5

I kinda hope he gets swine fluimg.

0

Andy demands that liberals don't censor his feminine sideimg

17

But hardly anyone reads books anymoreimg. In Andy world, more people read CP than a book by Dawkins.

0

Another Obama picture, but this time from Addison "Dead Wife = Liberal Vandal" DMimg.

5

Ed Poor is a sexist pig.img

-1

Will Team Killer admit he made a mistakeimg?

0

TK shitting on the mainpage: Irony meters, irony meters! All Muslims decapitate each other!img

1

Joaquín infringes copyright and addsimg a picture to "Time." Andy's reaction? Wow! That's great!img

0

In Andy's world, it's not what you say, it's how many words you use to say itimg.

10

Giving some benefits of socialiszed medicineimg gets a user blocked for five years as a "Stalinist holocaust denier; Soros stooge."img by Mcarthy's disciple.

0

Punter: question of style; Andy: I dunno!img

4

If there's a discussion about sex, you just know Creepy Uncle Ed can't be far awayimg.

3

Oh noes! The Cybersecurity Act of 2009 ... would give the President a "kill switch" on the Internet and allow him to shut out private networks and individuals from online access.img Can I have a new irony meter please Mr. Koeckritzimg?

0

TK once again accuses another valid random user of being "Kektklik" [2]img. This is the second time he's been wrong.. Dx. I kinda feel bad for anyone who wants to edit Conservapedia, lives in Northern New Jersey, and receives their internet from Verizon. In my high school, 90% of the students had Verizon as their ISP.

0

Jinx hi Jinx! finallyimg realises RW has had a wobbly, orgasms, then runs to tell Andy, still hoping to get his rights back. Ooh, somebody twists the knifeimg.

10

User: let me fiximg this typo. Andy: Oh, no you don'timg, let me fiximg this typo.

1

TK brings bad news for Andy "Hater of public schools"img Schlafly: "We don't judge conservatives by passing a 5 out of 12 test. One must meet all criteria."img From the list of criteria: It's conservative belief that the government should provide schools, and that "a child's character and moral underpinnings should be instilled by his parents -- not the public education system"

4

Here, have a dose of classic CP consistency: Colbert Report? Marginal liberal pop culture - delete.img Judge Dredd? Pop Culture - delete.img Assassin's Creed? Pop Culture - delete.img Batman? Pop Culture - Featured Article candidate!img

0

Conservapedia: Eric Holder worked behind the scenes to get the Lockerbie Bomber released.img Real World: "The interests of justice have not been served by this decision," [Holder] said. "There is simply no justification for releasing this convicted terrorist whose actions took the lives of 270 individuals, including 189 Americans.

1

RobS: Watergate was Ted Kennedy's faultimg.

4

Andy: "Conservapedia does not simply cut and paste quotes from others, many of whom has obvious self-serving biases."img - Ed: "Oh, I got an idea! Let's create an article on 'husband and wife'img using nothing more than a quote by Sun Myung Moon."

4

Andy: "discussion of how the free market helps the poor more than the wealthyimg" (we are waiting).

2

In TK's world, rising pet food prices = Obama driving senior citizens to eat pet food.img

-1

"Canadian Doctor: Barack Obama's Obamacare is a bad idea.img" Really?! Then it must be true!

0

JY23 throws in the towel.img

2

Conservative adds a "Spotlighted Articleimg" to the left-page line-up to go along with the "Featured Article," the "Highlighted Article," and the "Article of the Year."

0

In Andy's world, the Sea of Galilee becomes a lake, because it's a "better" word.img

1

Oh Noes! Conservapedia has no goatimg! Oh yes it does ... oh no it doesn't ... oh yes it does ... oh no it doesn't ....img

1

Well, no-one can accuse Andy of being an intellectualimg.

0

Rob's finally flippedimg: "given the White House directed enemies list and their legions out in force".

-1

TK (who else) removesimg a reasoned argument which would allow Obama to be born in Kenya & still be a US citizen. Whether it's true or not, it's still interesting.

-1

Jpatt removes something for copy vio!img Good start. Now: about those pictures Joaquin uploaded ...

-1

Let the Bible Retranslation begin! JacobB shows up with such a mind-bendingly enormous amount of articles formatted and ready for retranslationimg, it would make you wonder if this isn't the new Bugler?

2

Andy gives Jpatt oversightimg let the burning begin!

1

Rob goes off the deep-end, calling Not In Our Name "Maoistimg"

-1

Andy adds an atrocious economics example.img

11

Why Andy is an Idiot 101: when someone genuine shows up and displays actual interest in both of The Andy Biblesimg, Andy completely fails to answer the two pertinent questions he was asked - "Are the two Bibles the same, and who are the translators?"img. Because, you know, Andy hasn't a clue about who the translators are. Andy doesn't have any translators.