Conservapedia:What is going on at CP?/August 2009

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11

Without a hint of irony, TK posts a front page warning to "internet creeps"img.

17

Ken dribbles all over the mainpage about something relating to pecan pie.img (in a mere 19 edits).

8

The lib-burr-ruls Reds Nazis are trying to take over America again.img Yawn.

38

Andy improves his Bible translationimg by having Jesus say "Shut up" instead of "Hold your peace."

16

Without a hint of irony, Conservapedia reveals that the Jokebama poster was made by "just another" lib-burr-rul,img despite having drooled all over itimg before.

17

May the Holy Ghost Holy Force Divine Forceimg be with you. (Because, as Andy says, physics-students-headed-for-atheism might be more appealed to by the phrase "Divine Force" than "Holy shit Ghost".)

47

One of these three menimg is not responsible for genocidal exterminations of millions of people. But we doubt that'll stop Rob hurling it onto the Main Page of the well known hate site Conservapedia. Now that's Fair Use.

24

In a free market there is no limitimg to the number of times you can say "free market" in one paragraph.

-4

Even Conservapedia thinks that the King James Bible versionimg is too liberal for them! Part of their "Conservative Bible project" maybe?

24

A copious outpouring of crazy:img not only would repealing a possibly unconstitutional federal law make a communist state out of America, but Obama is a Red, a Nazi, a heathen, and a supporter of Gestapo-Care besides. (For once, they forgot to add Muslim to the list.)

41

Ding Ding! Seconds out! It's fair, it's balanced, its... The Bible vs. the Qur'animg

39

What's wrong with reforming health care? We'll have to expend medical resources on everyone, not just the über wealthy.img

50

Andy: Disagree with me on health care? It's because you're a lib-burr-rul gun-control-supporting fascist!img

17

Ed naysays yet another scientific consensus: Second-hand smokeimg doesn't cause lung cancer.img

22

Ed shows his bitterness over being desysoped at Wikipedia by comparing it to a totalitarian state.img

12

This'll be fun.img

5

Forget translating the bible, how about translating TK's latest word saladimg into something that makes sense

13

Gosh Andy, did you really think the Coalition on Abortion/Breast Cancer would publish a finding that said otherwiseimg? Oh, and this is the link you should use in your broken news item.

22

This information has been hidden from the public!img....unless you just so happened to look elsewhere...like Wikipedia where it's been since April

30

Ed Poor gets oversight.img

35

4 verses an hour, 40 hours a weekimg equals a year to conservatise the New Testament. More like 2 weeks, until Andy's ADD kicks in and he moves onto his next project.

12

Ah, the 1950s, that new Eden; all that needs to be said about childhood apparently happened on television in that decade.img

5

America is the One True Superpower; get that through your heads,img you lib-burr-rul vandals!

30

Andy enumerates the benefits of participation in his new Conservative Bible Project. Specifically, if public schools don't allow it, it's beneficial.img

23

"I" is avoided in modern style.img Also, grammatically correct sentences are avoided in Andy style.

-14

It's official: RJJensen is a parodist!img

13

Ken shows off hisimg obsessionimg with long, um, noses. Then, feeling that this ripped-off hack-job image is not netting him enough attention, he movesimg itimg to the mainpage.

45

Andy takesimg the Coase theorem where it's never gone before

53

More news from Andy! The bible has lots of "socialist wordsimg". Words like "fellow" and "labored". If unchecked, this could lead to a "'social justice' movement".

32

Surely Uncle Ed is just taking the pissimg now?

11

Astrologers are popular among liberalsimg? Tell that to Nancy Reagan.

26

Boycotting products is now fascist. In response, CP wants you to boycott the boycottersimg. P.S. All those French products that were boycotted six years ago are now back on the menu, as are McDonald's hamburgers, Pepsi Cola and Ford cars (..three companies boycotted for supporting gay rights).

20

When writing an article on a country at CP, please stick to our Manual of Style and make sure to include an image of the Leader of the country. For example, here are some despotic demagogic totalitarian dictators one might listimg.

14

Karajou, you may be interestedimg in this articleimg

42

RJJensen flies his filthy atheistic colours.img Update: Andy is not amused.img

23

Jpatt: Oh noes!! Four Christians got decapitated by Moo-slems! What to do? I know! blame Obamaimg! Welcome to Jpatt's world.

102

Andy stares from the edge, into the abyss of his own insanity, and leaps over the brink.img

56

Even the Bible's too liberal for Andyimg

-15

Mommie Dearest sez:img “Anybody who thinks that health care is going to cost less if the government runs it must believe in the tooth fairy." Replace less with more in that sentence and you've got it.

41

More reasonable, well-worded oppositionimg to Obamacare: note the Yu vil hab heilth inschuranz! in the caption.

4

Jpatt: "Hoomschooling way better than public school on academic achievements."img On the other hand if you gave them a geology test instead of a standardized test, the average would probably be close to nil; the same goes for Jpatt and a spelling test.

11

Andy must be easy to live with. Where's my credit card? Have you got my black hat? Who did I lend my Bible to? Oh, I don't give a fuckimg.

32

RJJensen makes a substantive contributionimg to an article on Herbert David Croly. Terry Koeckritz reverts.img RJJensen tries again.img Terry Koeckritz once again makes clear that only two things are allowed to be said about this fellow: he was a eugenicist and a lib-burr-rul.img Update: Terry Koeckritz's tabula rasaimg New Battlefield: Margaretimg Sangerimg

38

The Gospel of Mark was most likely written by child as it talks very little about economics.img Andy: "The evidence is overwhelming if you have an open mind!img See, just look at my wildimg assertions!"img

33

Andy: "Oh, the Triangle Trade? Just some liberal inventing things for shits'n'giggles."img

16

Among the lib-burr-rul belief systems are now included racism and Darwinism.img UPDATE: Add Nazism to that mix.img

26

Andy continues developing his pro-life rants economics lectures: Used car dealers want to hide the mechanical flaws in their lemons; food manufacturers want to hide the fat in their slumgullion; abortion doctors want to hide the murder in their operations.img

68

A totally reasonable questionimg to ask on an economics quiz.

34

Andy wins the Non Sequitur of the Week award: "A spiral galaxy is suggestive of a young universe."img

38

aSK user LowKey calls TK outimg on his blatant hypocrisy, a message of truth that survived CP's persistent burning rash a mere 18 minutes. UPDATE Jpatt, with a typical ejaculation of poor grammar, wields the banhammerimg and the "retired"img template.img Note the delightful xenophobia in the block comment. UPDATE: Wait for it: Terry Koeckritz's cowardly but obligatory rangeblock for being "sock of vandal site admin"img (which vandal site and which admin, we're wondering).

35

Mom! Mom! Guess what mommy! Didn't you know?! What? No, I didn't get a job. No, she's not pregnant again. Mom! Listen mom! It's only just the LARGEST ECONOMICS COURSE FOR TEENAGERS IN THE WORLD!!1!img (Except for any freshman-level college economics class, of course...)

7

Andy extrapolates from a single word in the King James Version and comes up with the conclusion that John Mark, the author of the Gospel of Mark, was an eyewitness to Jesus's arrest.imgUPDATE: This qualifies him for a spot as a high-achieving teenager.img Even though he was only ten.

5

The Associated Press puts forth an article on the current state of the Manson Family. RobS immediately concludes that the lib-burr-rul media are nostalgic about the Manson murders.img

9

Daniel1212's latest insight: The Qur'an commands violence against non-believersimg, while "Such commands and exhortations are shown to be radically contrary to the teaching of the Bible."

45

TK deletes the category Jewish Peopleimg because "we don't identify by religion unless complellng [sic] reason to do so." Like if they're Muslims,img for example.

75

Wikipedia is in a terrible stateimg, with just 146,000 active users. If only they were a Trusworthy Encyclopedia, with nearly 100img users.

9

If Democrats don't like astroturfed GOP plants their own constituents asking them questions, they'll go down "that slope to totalitarianism"img by >gasp!< criticizing them.

34

Sarah Palin: It's EVILimg to have to stand in front of Obama's bureaucrats and have them decide whether you get money for health care or not. But of course she has no problem with the insurance company bureaucrats deciding the same thing.

13

A bill to make illegal drug users eligible for federal student aid "should pass quickly" because Obama used illegal drugs at one point.img Never mind that this is also true of the President who was in office when the drug users were made ineligible... and that the intervening President also had a "history" of being "young and irresponsible".

11

Ken , who thinks the White Houseimg sets the money supply, wants to get teh homskollars more involvedimg with his pet article. They did abandon the SES application, right?

34

Ken 'Ha! Let's all make fun of the guy with a stutter!'img

8

Breaking news: An obscure ever-more-popular blog had 348 visitors the day before yesterday!img UPDATE: Terry Koeckritz burns the news item.img

-10

Terry Koeckritz: We can't have the suggestion that conservatism causes mental illness!img Conservapedia: zero in mental problems!

-5

Jpatt: Look, the liberals say that conservatism is dead, but in fact, 3 of the top four books debunk liberalism! His source? Why, the conservative New York Times,img of course!

18

OMG! Lil Phyl steps in: "Relativity has been met with much resistance in the scientific world.img" Right, Phyllis; of a surety your physics professors at Princetonimg would be happy to hear about that resistance.

14

Rush Limbaugh compares Obama to the Nazis simply for disagreeing with him; Nancy Pelosi makes a true factual claim about people who disrupt a democratic process. Conservapedia apparently thinks these incidents are comparable.img

0

Apparently, it's ok to use those nasty 'ACORN tactics'....so long as you're a conservativeimg

56

Andy on wormholes: "Its relatively unattractive name has probably hurt its popularity and interest level among the general public"img

22

The family feud heats up! Several weeks ago Andy put in this inane drivelimg about how black holes are not falsifiable and thus fail a requirement to be science. Today Roger removed itimg, and Andy put it back inimg. C'mon, Andy! You're not going to be pushed around by a Ph.D. math/science expert, are you?

40

How many little lies does it take to build a trusworthy encyclopedia? TK: aSK and CP are trading IP addressesimg. PJR: No TK: listing your email is mandatory when signing upimg Sign-up dialog: Noimg

6

Lib-burr-rul thuggery from the White House,img as Obama >gasp!< objects to the activities of astroturfed Republican gate-crashers grassroots conservative activists.

38

Conservapedia publishes its hit naughty list...img UPDATE: Oh dear,img did we stir up some memories you'd rather forget?...

13

In a startling role-reversal, TK is the reasonable guyimg who asks fellow sysop Addisonimg for his opinion on an article... and less than ten minutes later, Ed rushes in and deletes the entire articleimg because it's Evil Pop Culture.

25

Jpatt: "Everyone is a sinner," so it is inappropriate and unencyclopedic to have an article on conservative hypocrisy.img But it is, of course, perfectly all right to have one on See the Conservapedia article on liberal hypocrisy. .

7

Gasp! The center-right, Iraq-War-supporting Liberal-Whacky Washington Post publishes a columnimg from an art-critic who dares to criticize the Jokebama poster!

29

New user requests mentoringimg and meets the usual half-baked indifferenceimg and unprovoked hostilityimg. Until... the perfect man for the job volunteers himselfimg! SEE: Ed's greatimg with the new guys.

69

Andy proves his complete illiteracy, saying that Wikipedia conceals and omitsimg how Riemann tried to prove Genesis mathematically. He obviously read "To this end, he even tried to prove mathematically the correctness of the Book of Genesis" as "Riemann was an atheist and an evilutionist."

-1

Conservapedia shatters another irony meter! This time, they defend illegal immigrants who were victims of sexual assault from a copimg. Possibly one of the rarest things ever (despite their political agenda)! But that doesn't stop them from doing their usual gay-bashing.

9

People getting involved in debates?! We can't have that!img

10

There's malicious material on social networking sites!?img You know what...you could be right...img

26

You know, for a self-madeimg map, this is incredibly good work, Karajou! You should do this professionally!

19

RobS shows his politically-correct side.img

38

Anecdotal vs. scientific evidence,img part umpteen; it is particularly ironic that to make this point, Andy should rely on data that is untrusworthy.img

7

RJJensen notes that J. Edgar Hoover was a criminal.img RobS removesimg this piece of propaganda pushed by Reds, hippies, and the KGB (not to mention the U.S. Senate).

27

News Update! Bill Clinton gets North Korea to release two reporters. Conservapedia's Response: Complain about giving North Korea Czechoslovakia Appeasementimg! UPDATE: Conservapedia is apparentlyimg unable to tell the difference between North Korea and South Korea.

12

Now that the "Democarts" are giving Cash for Clunkers cutting taxes for the rich, RobS is suddenly opposed to such tax cuts.img

8

The gossip-free encyclopedia adds a report about the most significant event in the life of a lib-burr-rul journalistimg (or the only one in the article on her, anyway).

11

RobS improves the Obamunism articleimg with links to some conspiracy-theoretic blather trusworthy reports, which include an hilarious disclaimer, "Nothing in this report shall be construed as an attempt to influence any political campaign on behalf of any candidate for public office or any political party."

12

Ken winds up the irony knob: Bush's and Obama's corporate bailouts are "fascist policies."img UPDATE: Does RJJensenimg read WIGO? UPDATE: Ken deletes any mention of Bush.img

26

Ken adds a new word: Obamunism!img Which then is made into breaking newsimg! UPDATE: Ken throws in a JPEGimg for the heck of it.

26

User: You're damaging your credibility by displaying a forged birth certificate.img Terry Koeckritz: We display credible news stories. We are at war with Eastasia.img (And you're probably affiliated with the Vandal/Parodist Site.)

28

Andy: Moral relativity undermines self-defense, thus leading to gun control and psychiatric problems.img

17

Ed shatters most irony meters on Manhattan Island: "Occam's razor could use a good stropping here;"img let's just admit that the Soviet Union conspired to murder JFK.

22

Ed on subatomic physics: The Designer is cool and can get really intricate with his legos.img Also, we apparently have a "pantheon" of subatomic particles.

19

It's Andy Insight Time, as he provides us with a handy list of Concepts Invented By Religions.img The accuracy is astounding for an Andy essay, with only an 80% error rate.

-21

Terry Koeckritz waxes all offended as Muslim fundamentalist whackjobs execute eight Christians by fire,img apparently forgetting about the European witch-hunts, and also how the civilian death count from the Iraq War is now in the six figures.

-1

Ed helpfully improves Conservapedia's mainpage by fleshing outimg a two-day-old newsbite.img

25

Andy: "No one had zero until the (Asian) Indians invented it many centuries after Christ."img Sure, Andy; let's not mention that the American ones had zero in their calendar in 500 B.C. UPDATE: A user points out this fun fact;img Terry Koeckritz replies with a jab at science,img while Andy replies in the usual manner, viz., LA-LA-LA-LA-LA; I CAN'T HEAR YOU!img UPDATE: User responds: Here's your source: Conservapedia!img

25

Terry Koeckritz sezimg: Hawaii won't confirm the Prez's birth certificate is real!!! Hawaii sez: "...they have once again checked and confirmed that President Barack Obama was born in Hawaii and is a natural-born American citizen, and therefore meets a key constitutional requirement for being president." Probably accompanied by a deep sigh.

22

Terry Koeckritz asks: "Is this smoking gun?"img Why, thank you for asking, TK. No, it is in fact another tedious iteration in WND's long-running series, "Why the Nigger Islamic Socialist Ain't My President."

14

Ken posts another one of his Photoshop hack jobs lovely images,img drawing a comparisonimg that is, um, sort of out of la-la land left field.

8

Hey, everybody, check it out! A Christian rock band is marginally successful!img The triumph of Christianity is imminent!

53

A new mystery!img

38

TK criticises the low standards of an articleimg. Obviously the work of an incompetent editorimg. BONUS LULZ: TK adds a Wikipedia-style {{stub}}

12

In a mere 39 edits,img Ken updates us on the day's events spouts some of his patented meaningless drivel

15

Ed Poornography tells it like it isimg: "CP wants high encyclopedic standards, but admins will delete entries they don't like, without checking the facts first... even if they are correct." (Oh, and disagreeing with an admin is, of course, a blockable offence.)

26

Karajou posts more birther propagandaimg (taking a blog post as fact) dating back a year, before the election even occurred.

8

Quick as a flash, Ed Poornography begins cleaningimg upimg the "mess" left behind by Tolkiendil... a mere 8 months after blocking himimg for "Inserting nonsense or gibberish into pages."

13

Ed Poor creates an article about scientific fraudimg, then creates an article about the American Association for the Advancement of Scienceimg and begins to watch the watchdogimg, creating a conspiracy theory alleging that the organization was involved in scientific fraudimg itself. This would have every AAAS scientist facepalming by now (if they read CP...)!

12

Kendoll: I'll stick a fake ciggy in his mouthimg, no one will noticeimg...

-7

Jpatt wants to blatantly deny the existence of Log Cabin Republicans by vaporizing a user's commentimg.