Fun:Benefits of Hell

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Actually, Hell might not be a bad place. Since no Christian/Muslim has ever gone to Hell (except for them dirty Catholics), it's always been up for debate to what Hell might actually be like. We have sent valid candidates down to Hell to check for us, and it turns out that it might not be so bad after all:

  • Once you get there, they'll ask you one more time if you believe in Christ or not. If you say yes, they'll call up Jesus and ask him if he wants you. If you say no, they'll give you a copy of The Hitchhiker's Guide to Hell and let you join the party.
  • You'll be asked of your musical, fashion, athletic, cultural, and technological preferences, all of which will be provided by Natural Selection co.'s blasphemous (and evolving) services
  • There, you'll be welcomed by the community. Welcome to Hell!

The benefits of those bound to Hell are:

  • There are an abundance of Freethinkers and Atheists
  • In hell, meals (and sex) are specifically brought to you by 53 virgins
    • In heaven, meals (and sex) are brought to you by 53-year-old virgins
  • Abundant resources of wine, beer, whiskey, etc.
  • School that teaches you pretty much anything you want; this is mainly due to the sheer amount of smart people rejected from Heaven
  • Massive conventions of all sorts, like gaming, sports, arts, concerts, literature, debates, freethought, freesex
  • Lots and lots of hot, fiery sex; be it gay sex, lesbian sex, straight sex, you name it. Now at a strip club near you.
  • The Devil is actually a pretty nice guy; apart from sometimes stabbing the occasional (non-Christian) rapist, he loves to party. His whole realm a basically a huge dance floor. Free drinks all around!
  • Burning fire, though may be unbearable in the early stages, is actually quite comfy once you get used to it
  • You'll be going to the same place as other blasphemous people like Richard Dawkins, Michael Shermer, John Lenon, Stephen Hawking, Carl Sagan, and youtubers like The Thinking Atheist, Darkmatter2525, The Friendly Atheist, JacylnGlenn, AronRa
  • You can even play games like Pin the Tail on the Fundamentalist, Republican-Hold'em, I Spy an Apologist, etc.
  • Way better weenie roast than Heaven
  • Beer.
  • You don't have to spend eternity with the sort of people who go to Heaven.

See also[edit]