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Necker cube.svg Tired of laughing? RationalWiki has a slightly more serious article about NASA.

NASA is an evil machine of liberal deceit which wastes decent, hardworking, Christian tax dollars on "proving" that Earth is, get this, round, and orbits the sun. No really, that's exactly what these loopnuts believe. Pray for them, that they might point their telescopes to Heaven. George C. Deutsch, the NASA spokesperson under President Bush II, said so!

Their ludicrous claims[edit]

NASA claims to do many things, ALL OF THEM LIES:

  • NASA has claimed to have landed on the moon but we all know why that isn't possible.
  • NASA claims to launch rockets into space. Only that said rockets are actually holographic projections.
  • NASA claims to have sent space probes to all Solar System planets. Lies!. Planets do not exist, they're just stars fixed to a dome-shaped sky, the so-called images of them are FALSE! and it uses holograms plus having pacts with all telescope manufacturers to hide that (even the ISS is that and the Columbia accident was FAKE!). Martian rovers are also false, they're running in a study located in a Godforsaken desert. They claim also that four of their probes are now in interstellar space. FALSE!. They actually collided with the sphere of the stars and were destroyed and of course NASA is not going to reveal that.
  • NASA claims there's not intelligent life anywhere in the Solar System. They're hiding that have contacted with extraterrestrials, giving them human resources in exchange for some of their technologies (Errr... never mind the fact that their probes still take years to reach their destinations and one at least was lost due to system of measurement confusion. Oh, well, MORE LIES!. The decimal system is also EVIL! and that's because NASA uses it). The X-COM videogames as well as so many others similar plus movies cannot be wrong!
  • NASA claims no humans have gone beyond the Moon. BULLSHIT!. They've setup a super-secret base in Mars from which they're researching how to create a new, false, Jesus to enslave the human population!
  • NASA says the Hubble is just a harmless space telescope. FALSE!. Those images they release are fake, as there're no galaxies and stars would appear out of focus if that really was a telescope. Instead is a device to collect the waves of Project HAARP and use them against a given city or territory to either mind control the population or provocate natural disasters, from earthquakes to hurricanes.
  • NASA claims climate change is real. Everyone who is not a NWO/NASA/Illuminati-paid shill knows climate change are lies spewed by the NWO to establish a New Agey, pagan, nature-worshipping faith!. Even the President knows THAT!.
  • NASA claims the Universe was born in the Big Ben. LIES!. Read the Bible and learn how everything was really created.

The truth[edit]

NASA is formed by Satan worshippers, who have pacted with him (remember, science is EVIL!) explaining why their launches follow numerological, arcane patterns (there've been 666 launches and spacecrafts have exactly 666 components. The Number of the Beast is EVERYWHERE at NASA!), and is involved with the Illuminati plot to take over the world and install New World Order as the world government, and then kill 80% of the population! They plan to do this through Project Blue Beam, and then they will put everyone in FEMA concentration camps NASA has converted the planets Jupiter and Saturn into stars by launching into them nuclear missiles disguised as space probes! They look as plain, old, Jupiter and Saturn because they're using holographic technology to hide that fact!. They do not reveal that is the ONLY space agency of the world. All others (ESA, JAXA, Roscosmos, CNSA, whatever) are just fake organizations set up by them!. They might also try to use Mind control to take over the world, everyone put on your Tinfoil hats!