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Fun:NASA

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Necker cube.svg Tired of laughing? RationalWiki has a slightly more serious article about NASA.

NASA is an evil machine of liberal deceit which wastes decent, hardworking, Christian tax dollars on "proving" that Earth is, get this, round, and orbits the sun. No really, that's exactly what these loopnuts believe. Pray for them, that they might point their telescopes to Heaven. George C. Deutsch, the NASA spokesperson under President Bush II, said so!

Their ludicrous claims[edit]

NASA claims to do many things, ALL OF THEM LIES:

  • NASA has claimed to have landed on the moon but we all know why that isn't possible.
  • According to NASA, the Moon is an airless, dry world. FALSE!. It has oceans, forests, is inhabited by among other things man-bats, unicorn-like goats, and more!. After discovering that they destroyed ALL available records and the telescopes used, so nobody will know the truth.
  • NASA claims to launch rockets into space. Only that said rockets are actually holographic projections.
  • NASA claims to have sent space probes to all Solar System planets. Lies!. Planets do not exist, they're just stars fixed to a dome-shaped sky, the so-called images of them are FALSE! and it uses holograms plus having made pacts with all telescope manufacturers to hide that (even the ISS is that and the Columbia accident was FAKE!). Martian rovers are also false, they're running in a study located in a Godforsaken desert. They claim also that four of their probes are now in interstellar space. FALSE!. They actually collided with the sphere of the stars and were destroyed and of course NASA is not going to reveal that.
  • NASA claims no extraterrestrials have ever contacted with them. LIES!. They're hiding that have contacted with extraterrestrials, giving them human resources in exchange for some of their technologies (Errr... never mind the fact that their probes still take years to reach their destinations and one at least was lost due to mess up with unit systems. Oh, well, MORE LIES!. The decimal system is also EVIL! and that's why NASA uses it). The X-COM videogames as well as so many others similar plus movies cannot be wrong!
  • NASA tells the sheeps there's no intelligent life anywhere in the Solar System but here, as well as that both Venus and Mars are uninhabitable for us. FALSE!. THEY do not want you to know Venus is actually a lush world inhabited by beautiful, elf-like, women, nor that Mars has channels with running water and a thriving civilization of real men. Being nerds they'll NEVER accept that factWell, maybe the existence of smoking hot Venusian chicks.
  • NASA claims no humans have gone beyond the Moon. BULLSHIT!. They've setup a super-secret base in Mars from which they're researching how to create a new, false, Jesus to enslave the human population!.
  • NASA says the Hubble is just a harmless space telescope. FALSE!. Those images they release are fake, as there're no galaxies and stars would appear out of focus if that really was a telescope. It's instead a device to collect the waves of Project HAARP and use them against a given city or territory to either mind control the population or provocate natural disasters, from earthquakes to hurricanes. It's also used as an orbital weapons platform to both destroy and spy those who know the TRUTH™ behind the EEEEVIL NASA.
  • NASA claims climate change is real. Everyone who is not a NWO/NASA/Illuminati-paid shill knows climate change are lies spread by the NWO to establish a New Agey, pagan, nature-worshipping faith!. Even the President knows THAT!.
  • NASA claims the Universe was born in the Big Ben. LIES!. Read the Bible and learn how everything was really created.
  • According to NASA, the Sun is a humongous sphere of plasma, the Moon a ball of rock with the size of US, the planets another worlds, and the stars another Suns. FALSE!. They are just reflections of metal disks located in the center of the Universe. They DO NOT WANT you to know we live inside of Earth. MASSARAKSH!
  • All those pretty pictures of outer space released by NASA are as pretty as FALSE. NOTHING of what appears on them exists outside the computers (not even living artists, NASA does not even pay them!) that create them.
  • NSA = NASA without the first "A". WAKE UP!

The truth[edit]

NASA is formed by Satan worshippers, who have pacted with him (remember, science is EVIL!) explaining why their launches follow numerological, arcane patterns (there've been 666 launches and spacecrafts have exactly 666 components. The Number of the Beast is EVERYWHERE at NASA!), and is involved with the Illuminati plot to take over the world and install New World Order as the world government, and then kill 80% of the population! They plan to do this through Project Blue Beam, and then they will put everyone in FEMA concentration camps NASA has converted the planets Jupiter and Saturn into stars by launching into them nuclear missiles disguised as space probes! They look as plain, old, Jupiter and Saturn because they're using holographic technology to hide that fact!. They do not reveal that is the ONLY space agency of the world. All others (ESA, JAXA, Roscosmos, CNSA, whatever) are just fake organizations set up by them!. They might also try to use Mind control to take over the world, everyone put on your Tinfoil hats!

WAKE UP, SHEEPLES!!