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Mel Gibson

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Mel, giving you the creepy stare
Christ died so we may
write articles about

Christianity
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A multi-chef broth
Devil's in the details
The pearly gates

Mad Max Mel Gibson is an actor, the director and producer of The Passion of the Christ, an alcoholic anti-Semite and racist, a homophobe, an abusive boyfriend, and, along with his father, the founder of his own little bizarre sedevacantist Catholic sect.[1][2]

Interview[edit]

During an interview with the Spanish newspaper El País in 1991, Gibson stated he quit the mainstream Catholic Church because it had become "too liberal." When asked about homosexuals, he responded, in a most eloquent fashion, by stating that "[homosexual individuals] take it up the ass." He then laughed, got up, bent over, pointed to his butt, and continued, "This is only for taking a shit."[3] Prior to going more than a little off the rails as just described, he did have a sterling film career, having starring roles in the Mad Max and Lethal Weapon series, and the Academy Award-winning (but stunningly inaccurate) Braveheart, with the pinnacle of his career being in 2000 when he voiced Rocky in Nick Park's animated epic, Chicken Run. (Oh how the mighty have fallen!)

As Scottish comedian Frankie Boyle said of Gibson: "When they were making Braveheart, everyone said, 'Oh it's ridiculous, Mel Gibson playing a Scottish guy, that's not gonna be very convincing.' And look at him now: an alcoholic racist."[4]

He is the sole contributor to the church and has threatened to cut funding to it if its 70-odd[5] members don't stop talking about his decision to leave his wife for his mistress.[6]

The famous hissy fit[edit]

On 28 July 2006, Mad Max Gibson was arrested for a DUI while speeding in his vehicle with an open container. Gibson first told the arresting officer, "My life is over. I'm fucked. Robyn's going to leave me." According to the arrest report, Gibson then added "Fucking Jews... the Jews are responsible for all the wars in the world."

"Gibson's Law"[edit]

Completely unrelated to the Gibson's Law used in the worlds of law and PR, Mel Gibson's Law states that a reference to Braveheart or the Battle of Banockburn in the midst of a discussion regarding Scottish independence becomes more and more likely as the discussion stretches on. Formally stated: "As the length of a discussion regarding Scottish independence approaches infinity, the mathematical probability that a reference to Braveheart or Banockburn is made approaches 1."[7]

See also[edit]

External links[edit]

References[edit]