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What are the chances of you dying today? 50-50: Either you will, or you won't.
—Carl Gallups[1]

PPSIMMONS (not to be confused with persimmonsWikipedia) is an amorphous mass of stupid whose most prominent representative is Pastor Carl Gallups, and which operates a website devoted to young earth creationism and Biblical literalism. They make many videos attacking the theory of evolution and promoting intelligent design. Additionally, they believe in Satan and the evil influence of witches in the world. And just to round out the idiocy, they are also birthers, often call Obama the anti-Christ (they're just asking questions!), and believe that anthropogenic global warming is a "profit-driven scam".[2]

Where we give opinion[edit]

The shapeless cloud of foolishness that is PPSIMMONS made many YouTube videos trying to demonstrate that evolution seems improbable to the point of impossibility until the channel was "terminated due to repeated or severe violations of… Community Guidelines and/or claims of copyright infringement" on April 25, 2012 Youtube. Many of their videos are being re-uploaded to Carl Gallups' Youtube channel and on their Facebook page. They search through any scientific articles that mention "design" or "creation" (in all forms and definitions) and use them to support an argument that all scientists recognize design.[3] And, of course, if they recognize design in nature, then intelligent design is really science! Victory!

PPSIMMONS/Gallups (like many other big creationists on YouTube) censors and blocks people for simply disagreeing with them/him. All negative comments, criticisms, and corrections are erased as if they never existed, and the user who posted them is banned from commenting further, giving Gallups the appearance of being smart, in a wondrous feat of legerdemain that a more sinful commentator might call "ridiculously fucking deceitful". In some of his videos, the comment option has been disabled.

Luckily, many users have made wonderful rebuttal videos to PPSIMMONS' material.[4][5] Unluckily, the unknowable fog of dumb that is PPSIMMONS refuses to allow video responses and (often in response to challengers) disables all comments on his videos that were refuted.[6]

Unsurprisingly, the eluctable quantum field of moron that is PPSIMMONS promotes the Question Evolution campaign,[7] a creationist anti-evolution propaganda machine hoping to get students and teachers to question and minimize (or eliminate) teaching evolution in science classes.

Like all good True Christians™, they felt it necessary to chastise the late Christopher Hitchens after his death.[8]

Positive side[edit]

To non-American ears the voice behind the PPSIMMONS Youtube videos is so unutterably boringly soporific that it could easily be used as a sleeping aid for those suffering for insomnia. Listen and try it for yourself.


On May 1st, 2012, YouTube pulled the plug on his account, stating "This account has been terminated due to repeated or severe violations of our Community Guidelines and/or claims of copyright infringement." This resulted in WND howling about how Christians are being targeted,[9] even though their channel removes dissenting comments and bans those who made them in the first place, and a call for a boycott of YouTube by PPSimmons himself.[10]

See also[edit]

External links[edit]