Tom DeLay

As is clearly visible in the official photograph, Tom DeLay's face is held on entirely by the strings of his funders.

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Persons of interest

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“”Anyone trying to move further to the right than Tom DeLay is in danger of falling into the void.

—Bob Herbert

“”The leader of the Republican Party's Taliban wing.

—John Nichols

Tom "The Hammer" Delay (1947–) is an ex-exterminator who dabbled in United States politics and would even become House Majority Leader under Dennis Hastert.

He was a key proponent of the K Street Project, which was a plan by the Republican Party to get ex-Republican politicians to secure jobs as high-priced lobbyists and to make all business lobbies play only with the Republican party. This sucked for many of these lobbies when the Republicans were out of power and were not playing with anyone.

He endured a brief moment of fame in the 1990s when he was part of a wave of conservative talk radio which was obsessed with bringing President Bill Clinton down by any means possible and at all costs.

He was also reprimanded twice by the US House Ethics Committee for corruption, before, finally, being forced out of office by an indictment related to his good friend Jack Abramoff.

Following the collapse of his political career, he appeared on Dancing with the Stars. Conspiracy theories state that he was booted off early because, despite bringing in the wingnut audience, he so disgusted the rest of the country that they refused to watch. Also, he didn't dance very well.

He also stated "I AM the law" when he was not allowed to smoke in a restaurant. Given his former occupation, they were probably lucky he was only releasing nicotine into the air.

The K Street Project

The K Street Project was an idea by Tom DeLay to marry the Republican Party and the majority of the major corporate lobby groups on K Street permanently, as part of his plans to enact a permanent Republican majority in the Congress.

For a long time, it seemed he was successful, but then other events made people realize exactly how incompetent (and evil) the Republican Party is. Many of those lobbyists who did back the Republicans exclusively then attempted to find common ground with Democrats.

Criminal conviction

In November 2010, DeLay was found guilty of money laundering and conspiracy. In January 2011, he received a three-year term for the conspiracy charge and five years for the money laundering, although the judge allowed him to accept ten years' probation instead of the latter term. DeLay called the decision "a political campaign" and declared that he only received the sentence because "I was tried in the most liberal county in the state of Texas; indeed, in the United States." Indeed, if he had been tried in a more "tough on crime" jurisdiction, he might have received more years in the hoosgow. You're welcome, Tom.

Involvement in the 2000 Presidential Election

"No American who is not currently occupying a seat on the U.S. Supreme Court or a statewide elective position in Florida can claim to have played a greater role in securing the presidency for George W. Bush than the bug-killing king of Fort Bend, Texas," wrote John Nichols in his book on the 2000 Presidential Election. Notably, DeLay hired a bunch of his Republican buddies to riot outside the Stephen P. Clark Government Center in downtown Miami, where nearly eleven thousand uncounted ballots were being reviewed, causing the count to stop. "A group of out-of-state, paid political operatives came to south Florida in an attempt to stop countywide recounts," said Congressman Peter Deutsch, "They crossed state lines and intimidated the counting in a federal election, which is a violation of the Voting Rights Act."

The Hammer Speaks

Delay was known for his bombastic speaking style — to put it nicely, here are some selected quotes from the man:

• Bipartisanship: "Fuck that, it's time for all-out war."
• The EPA: "The Gestapo of Government."
• Corporate sweatshops: "a free market success."
• The Balkans: "The Serbian people are rallying around [Slobodan Milosevic] like never before.
• Campaign finance reform: "Money is not the root of all evil in politics. In fact, money is the lifeblood of politics."
• Evolution: "Our school systems teach the children they are nothing but glorified apes who are evolutionized [sic] out of some primordial soup of mud."
• Christianity: "I've never been able to understand that 'turn-the-other-cheek' stuff."

Meme culture

DeLay is probably well known amongst netizens for his appearance as William Afton in the FNAF VHS series. His image was heavily edited and altered, put in a black and white VHS with the word "criminal" repeating several times. You can even find some comments on videos with DeLay repeating "criminal" as a reference to the VHS series.

External links

• The K Street Project on SourceWatch
• The K Street Project on Think Progress