The Abiding Wisdom of a scientist
"In answer to the question of why it happened, I offer the modest proposal that our Universe is simply one of those things which happen from time to time". Edward P. Tryon
The Abiding Wisdom of a (former) Conservapedian
"Proteins only take a long time to build if they are occurring naturally, not if they are created supernaturally"- Philip J Rayment, now to be found at A Storehouse of Knowledge.
Significant Articles & Contributions
The FBI Incident was primarily what brought me to RW. I couldn't believe that a snivelling little shit like Andy could have such an over-inflated sense of importance as to actually report someone to the FBI for wandalising his stupid little fucking blog. But he did, he claims. If even ten minutes of America's tax dollars were wasted as an unfortunate FBI agent checked into Stevecarson's web doodling, Andy should be taken to the fucking cleaners. And if an agent DID check into it, the invasion of privacy Andy caused is disgusting. I hate that man. So anyway, I did all the research and wrote most of that article. Most of the rest of the time I'm just taking the piss, which is kinda normal for us Irish.
I introduced the phrase "undeadened" to Andy, though I was banned shortly after CP sysops picked up the catchphrase, now widely seen on Conservapedia. I had no idea I could so easily get Andy to use a zombie reference for de-redlinking.
Other articles to which I've dedicated FAR too many hours of my life:
Insignificant Articles & Contributions
Conservapedia Sock History
Like most editors here, I started out on CP by simply trying to bring some truth and balance to The Trustworthy Encyclopedia. I had no intention to vandalise, I simply tried to point out factual inaccuracies, internal inconsistencies, unreferenced opinion, and would try to reason with them on the Talk Pages - since actually contributing was usually impossible, due to the page being locked.
Of course I ended up being booted out almost instantly every time. I returned again and again with good intentions and tried not to lose my temper as they replaced fact with opinion.
I eventually gave up trying to be Honest Citizen - It was just impossible. So - wrong though it may be to some - now I simply try and cause as much disruption as possible, as sport, to selfishly entertain myself. I don't see them contributing anything useful to the world, and it's just too much fun to poke sticks in the beehive and see them get all hot and bothered.
I've had a marvellous time with many characters. Some of them are:
- Hmmm- seems like all traces of his existence have been burned, apart from his bannination
- Doggedpersistence. Hated that stupid 'New Ordeal' article nonsense RobS came up with.
- GodisGreat, . In love with Kenservative
- 50something Sought explanations of the actual mechanisms involved in Creation Science. This generated some hilarious results, for example this dialogue produced the stupendous response from PJR, "Proteins only take a long time to build if they are occurring naturally, not if they are created supernaturally". I love that, it's just such codswallop
- Wonders, Los Angeles expert
- CarefulNature, a truth-seeker, confused by the Vole Clock
- Feichineejits.......Birds and fish (or probably more accurately, creatures that fly and creatures that swim in the sea) were created on day 5, with land animals on day 6 - PJR. TK did well in spotting the origin of my name.
- NeverForget, seemed to spend most of his time edit-warring with Tmtoulouse. They battled over the origins of the Sun , the rock group U2 and monkeys. He was also a keen oenophile . Definitely one of my favourites
- Bananaman, Enemy of comfortable nightgarments.
- NotForgotten. He loved Madonna, death squads and Pat Tillman. . Made Jinkas say "The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is not a Christian church"
- MunkeyNotPeople, Swedish tax expert.
- DoggerelBank took it on the nose for internal consistency within CP. As the abortion article states that abortions cause breast cancer (unsubstantiated), I tried to add that info to the Breast Exam article. Seemed reasonable, but it got DoggerelBank banned. Naturally, a month later Andy of course added the exact same info with no repercussions . Lovely. Consistent. Great.
- Hawkeye......Attempted to get behind DoggerelBank but failed
- ScottGorham Guitarist from Thin Lizzy, friend of Conservative . All his contributions have been memory holed, but he was interested in Stonehenge.
- Brian Robertson who was not only the other guitarist from Thin Lizzy, but also fought for fair recognition that the phrase 'Mainstream Media' and its acronym MSM mean different things to different people.
- AnneUulmehlmehay ......."All talk, no arrticles" (sic)- Ed Poor
- AncientSage, a cranky old conservative git who wanted to make weird laws that were corollaries of Andy's.
- Rumsbush, newspaper reader
- Misterlinx, Heath Ledger fan and Google statistician .
- Reasonableperson, fan of prepositions.
- OldMan, his 88-year old wife had MRSA, and he wasn't very impressed with Andy's use of Google hits as proof of anything.
- Reaganite started well, thought women should "keep their aprons on", but I think I damaged his credibility permanently for letting him like the movie "Juno". Big mistake.
- Billabong. A very close elderly relative contracted MRSA in hospital and nearly died from it, so Billabong took up the cudgels and rewrote the entire piece of shit MRSA article, which had previously been entitled "New Gay Plague". Really. Consequently, Billabong also got stuck into the "Gay Man Plague" article that was another variant on the same theme. I did quite a lot of pwning Ed, TK and Andy over that, thank you very much. Wankers.
- SpiritualLife - Really wanted to go see Expelled:I Haz no Brainz with her kidz.
- Aggrieved, , who I accidentally exposed here on Rationalwiki in the middle of a large debate about Guantanamo Bay prisoners with TerryH, who blurted out nonsense then actually claimed he never said it. Of course I got blocked, sadly, along with some other valiant martyrs, by that lying asshat.
- MarianS. Marian was a right-wing nutjob who wanted to turn schools into prisons to prevent school shootings. Ed Poor almost went for it.
- MakeTime. MakeTime got heavily involved in the Expelled:No Bananas Allowed debate, inserting clippings from major media reviews. They didn't last long. MakeTime then spawned a number of subsequent socks as I attempted to defend the movie reviewer's notes - failing miserably, of course. No opinion other than glowing opinions are allowed of that particular movie.
- TakeTwo waded in after MakeTime was banned for adding the reviews. TakeTwo managed to trap Ed Poor into admitting he'd lied, claiming he knew what the content of the movie was when he hadn't seen it, but of course that just got me banned anyway.
- JackieHealyRay got banned for trying to segment the reviews into 'Good' and 'Bad' sections.
- NormanTebbitt. Norman pointed out yet more factual inaccuracies in CP, proving Ed Poor and Andy's claims that "there were no unarmed police forces anywhere in the world" to be incorrect. He also managed to use his namesake's famous "bike" quote.
- The Lenski affair offered an excellent opportunity to encourage Andy to submit his letter to PNAS. I supported Andy's letter-writing campaign fully with many socks, most of whom were UK footballers, beginning with WaltherPPK, followed by Cesc Fabregas, BKronky, Frank Lampard, Sami Hyypia, Robbie Savage, Alexsander Hleb, Rio Ferdinand, Michael Ballack, Jens Lehman, Joey Barton, Kevin Keegan, Phil Scolari, Deco, Aiden McGeady and finally Aaron Ramsey, each contributing a comment appropriate to their position on the field. As football pros signed on like crazy, Andy nearly wet himself updating his numbers. However, this last young Arsenal signing completely blew the whole show for me, as Bugler assumed it was the legendary English manager, Alf Ramsey, and then he was onto me. Oh well.
- StanleyAccrington simply tried to poke sticks in Moonie Ed Poor's eye, of course resulting in an immediate ban.
- WaltherPPK took up the cudgels of Irish causes in pointing out to idiot Andy that the term 'Belfast Agreement' was not exactly obscure. In the end, with the support of others, Andy caved in and the correct title was thankfully used. WIN!
- RobCross  was an obnoxious right-wing toady. He tried to curry favour with Andy during the Young Hollywood Breast Cancer debate and arselick Andy during the Lenski debate. Killed by Karajou on one of his proxy-spotting missions.
- AncientSage was another cranky old batshit insane right-winger. He wrote the excellent essay detailing the beliefs required of Conservative Intellectualism. He was an appalling toady and although he didn't last long, it was delightful that he was blocked for being a racist.
- GaryK also had a brief career during the Hollywood Breast Cancer nonsense, pointing out that almost all of Andy's examples were horseshit. No news there, then. Also got stuck in over the UK Phonics debate.
- JerryMander too got stuck into the Hollywood Breast Cancer shitpile that Andy was making. Killed by DanH for socking from the same proxy. I was not enforcing good proxy policy.
- Bongabill was another on the suicide mission of trying to explain everything that was wrong with Andy's reasoning over Hollywood Breast Cancers. Unfortunately I predicted Andy's answer and caught the expected exit ticket.
- StatsFan. Another sacrifice to the Hollywood Breast Cancer Mystery (Not), StatsFan laid it on the line numerous times for Andy, but to no effect, duh. And he got stuck into Andy over the meaning of the word controversy.
- EngelUmpocker continued an obsession with trying to invent stupid names. Being a Christian, he got stuck into the Sexual Intercourse article and tried to make it - and the Pregnancy article - actually have some relevance to, uh, real life. However, I came up against the unstoppable force that was Bugler, and moved on. Blocked by Karajou, but I wasn't a sock of Horace. Not me.
- ErikB - all his contributions were burned, but Karajou's ban explains the why.
- JimN only managed to get one pointed jab in about the the LDS Church being a mad cult who's beliefs are clearly totally at odds with Christians before being banned. Despite the fact that what the LDS says about 'regular' Christian religion is basically that it's a lie, Andy's quite happy to be a 'fellow traveller' (conservative word, btw) with them simply because they tend socially conservative. "Hypocrite, moi?"
- GayByrne - Ireland's most famous broadcaster brought the Ryan Report on preistly child sexual abuse to the attention of CP. BHaines assisted in trying to get them to pay attention, but of course they couldn't give two shits about the subject, since Andy's already abusing children - acemdemically, that is. Accidentally, I exposed SamGruberJr.
- KipDonner - I actually learned something on CP once! Kip asked about the peculiarities of the Seventh Day Adventist's Church, and RJJensen answered my questions nicely. Thanks RJJ!
- KBinbota - responded to Andy's "most great composers were German" comment, in World History Lecture Nine, with a long list of great non-German composers. Naturally, Andy dismissed them all as "obscure".
I still maintain quite a
few lot of characters over there, but as they are running around with greatcoats on with the collars turned up, I don't know who they are. Usually I have between three and 10 characters alive at any one time. Sometimes they simply beat on each other if they can't start a fight with someone else. Most of them fight the good fight for truth, but quite a considerable number of them are evangelical right-wing nutjobs, deep undercover. Some of them are very senior CP'ers. It's sad.
Lately I've been wanting to update this list with the full, authoritative, honest and upfront list of everyone I've ever been - which is about triple this number of socks. But many of them have contributed some fabulous gibberish to articles that are as yet extant, and I'm loathe to out the socks so that the CP SS can go and clean up their wholly inaccurate or teabagger contributions. I'd hoped that by now I could let it go, but I'm going to continue to obey our own "not outing parody" rule on myself.
Moral Politics. Two results, average 'em: -5.5 or -6.5 on Moral Order and 3.5 or 1.5 on Moral Rules.
Political Compass Two results, average 'em:
Note: NOT a Libertarian. I fucking HATE Libertarians and their stupid Ayn Rand books. Wankers.
"Anonymous User" (your chosen name is obviously unacceptable), I looked at your contributions and based on your postings, I bet you don't spend even 5% of your spare time reading or analyzing the Bible, so clearly you're lying. Furthermore, you deny that prayer in school stops insanity. The answer to your silly question is this: the odds against a Muslim converting to Christianity are greater than 100 to 1. If you think you can build a clock immune from Newtonian effects, then patent it immediately. Can't be done. --Andy Schlafly 15:08, 4 February 2023 (UTC)