Conservapedia:You're clueless

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This Conservapedia-related article is of largely historical interest and is no longer the focus of RationalWiki today.
Conservapedia (and religious fundamentalism to an extent) was a major focal point in the early history of RationalWiki, but long ago ceased coming up with new ways to appall and amuse.
Our energies are now spent debunking other, fresher examples of pseudoscientific claims, authoritarianism, and deceit.
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"You're clueless" is a very useful synonym for "you seem to know more about this subject than me". It can also be used in the context of "I don't understand you and will block you now". On occasion, it can be used to say "I do not have a reference to deny that", "those are awfully big words", or "I am frightened by your superior intellect". It is a popular phrase in the limited vocabulary of Andrew Schlafly, and can be found littered throughout his "encyclopedia".

Ironically, Andy's use of the phrase is often appropriate, as those to whom it is directed are indeed clueless. They lack the essential clue to unlock the bizarre, fumbled thought processes that have led to the statement, judgement, or observation they are commenting on or complaining about. Frequently, editors find themselves quite at a loss in this way, when "discussing" matters with Andy on his blogopedia, and in each case "clueless" is indeed an accurate description of their state of mind.

Every known use of the phrase up to 2011 follows:

2007[edit]

"Maestro, you're clueless", Andy on the Thad Cochran issue, 5 June 2007 (No fixed link for the first recorded use of the phrase, due to being in an Archive)
"..., but they are likely clueless about what was really in the bill." Andy on Immigration Bill, 29 June 2007

(Almost) "I don't think that reporter has a clue about the direction of Conservapedia or Wikipedia or education in general." Aschlafly 15:27, 4 July 2007 (EDT) (Here we are seeing it being evolved from "you have no clue")
"Also, you're clueless", Andy on copyright, 12 July 2007.
(Near miss) "...,but frankly I doubt you have a clue about economics." Andy on Economics, 12 July 2007. (Evolved into "You are clueless" ten days later; see below)
"Wumps, you're clueless", Andy affirms that wandalizm is an indictable offence, 13 July 2007
"National Review is clueless", Andy on their Forrest Gump review, 19 July 2007 (Here we see an innovative and more open, flexible use of a term normally applied to an individual)
"Order, I'm afraid you're clueless about economics", Andy recommends his Economics course, 22 July 2007.
"You're clueless about what drives traffic to Wikipedia", Andy on Search Engine Optimisation, 30 July 2007.

"You make up falsehoods about Conservapedia and are clueless about uncyclopedia also.", Andy defends himself from the "vicious henchmen" who run Uncyclopedia, 27 August, 2007.
"INTregued, you're clueless", Andy affirms the National Enquirer is a gossip rag, 30 August 2007.

"...find a good dictionary if you're still clueless. Thanks and Godspeed." Andy on deceit, 9 September 2007.
(Near miss) "Unfortunately, many of today's top college math progams graduate studens who haven't a clue about number theory" Andy on Mathematics, 9 September 2007.

"TomLee, whatever you do, don't go into the field of public relations because you seem to be clueless about what motivates the media.", Andy on the sexuality of professor Dumbledore in J.K. Rowling's Harry Potter book series, 5 November 2007.
"your ideological rant above is clueless about the truth", Andy denies Dawkins is a Professor, against all evidence, 26 November 2007.

2008[edit]

"You're clueless, HMayo", Andy knows about local crime, 13 February 2008.
"Wow, you guys are really clueless", Andy affirms Britney Spears is an actress, 20 February 2008
"You are clueless, Jimmy", Andy on Obama, 25 February 2008
"No, you're clueless", Andy affirms the common usage of 'Second Generation Atheist', 26 February 2008

"Both you are clueless if you don't realize what modern feminists think." Andy knows all about Feminism, 3 March 2008.
"You are clueless. Drug use and promiscuity are Hollywood values, and they cause death", Andy on Hollywood values, 6 March 2008 .
"You're a parody of a clueless liberal", Andy tries to make a lulz, 8 March 2008
"'PalMD', you're clueless", Andy laughs at PalMD's suggestion that he's an "expert in human medicine", 8 March 2008.

"You're clueless. Obama has zero military or executive experience", Andy gets his facts wrong about Obama's travels, 29 March 2008.

"Mathewson, I'm afraid you're clueless. Please stick around here and learn some things with an open mind. It's common knowledge that a generation ago scientists overwhelmingly believed in life in outer space. See, e.g., Exobiology. Rest assured I was not relying on what a majority of scientists reportedly believed. You are." Andy becomes sputteringly clueless himself, 5 April 2008.
"Gulik5, you're clueless also." For the ridiculous assertion that Andy always insists on getting the last word. And just to prove how wrong that is, he threatens to... block anyone who replies. I wonder what it feels like to live a life utterly devoid of the capacity for self-examination? 5 April 2008.
"Peter, you're clueless about the dangers of sending a 13-year-old girl off to a liberal college." Andy decides that when it comes to dangerous institutions like Oxford, he knows better than the experts, 6 April 2008.
"The author is clueless about the person he is writing about". Andy pontificates on a "Scientific America" (sic) review of Expelled: No Intelligence Allowed, 11 April, 2008.
"'DaBoss3', either you're clueless or you're in liberal denial", Andy dismisses an editor's better understanding of the nature of the trade mag Variety, April 18th, 2008.
"AdenJ, you're clueless. Hindus are quite receptive to the Bible", Andy defends his top-quality research on Liberal Gullibility, April 25, 2008.
"You're clueless. Ideas have consequences, and denying that does not help.", Andy fights off the liberal hordes, April 27th, 2008.

"...either you're in liberal denial or your clueless..." (sic), Andy defends school prayer, May 4th, 2008.
"Bongabill, you're clueless", Andy insists he is great at statistics, May 4th, 2008.
"Wow, JEdgar, you are clueless". Andy explains that those on the Right are, by definition, always right, 23 May 2008.
"AdenJ, you sound clueless about politics", Andy knows far more about both Australian and New Zealand politics than anyone, including people who live there, 23 May, 2008

"'Liberalnproud', you're clueless. Labour Party leader Gordon Brown is a socialist and it looks like even the Brits are getting fed up with him." --Aschlafly 13:11, 1 June 2008 (EDT)
TerryH joins the growing cohort of pleasant language users at Conservapedia (call Ed!): "Are you really as clueless as the above post suggests?" 4 June 2008
"StatsMsn, you're clueless." Andy on whether a particular quote from Obama was referring to abortion or sex education and whether liberals support abortion as contraception. 20:42, 8 June 2008
"Many people could read the version you reference and come away completely clueless about how classroom prayer does not exist due to censorship of it." (italics in original), Andy on unobscuring the truth.
"AdenJ, you're clueless about Christianity." 'Nuff said. 17 June 2008
"You're clueless about my motivation and your account has been blocked for violating our 90/10 rule." 18 June 2008

"Boatie, you're awfully naive .... Boatie, you're clueless." Andy rejecting the notion that Richard Lenski might not see the point in gathering up all his old data for someone like Andy who has no capacity or desire to understand it. 1 July 2008
(Almost) "You have no clue as to what you're even talking about, neither do you have a clue as to what these IPs are or where they came from." Karajou, 10 July 2008
(Almost) "It's doubtful Obama has a slightest clue about -- or interest in -- American history." Aschlafly, 21 July 2008
Full on! "Rather, it's clear that Obama is clueless about what really happened at Pearl Harbor, and about much of American history." Aschlafly, 21 July 2008

"Obama did NOT go to grade school in Hawaii, so you seem nearly as clueless as he is", Andy smacks down the future President. (Archiving killed the page history, but it's in the 'Pearl harbor' section), 7 August 2008
"You're clueless", a brief put-down from Andy while debating The Invisible Hand of Marriage, 9 August, 2008.
Close enough: "Logic indicates that the AP hasn't a clue, obviously." - Aschlafly 15 August 2008

"Folks, you're clueless about the meaning of gossip. Newspapers and press releases do print gossip all the time. We do not and have had that in our rules since our beginning.", ASchlafly, 1 September 2008
(Near miss) "Second of all, I doubt you have a clue what a conservative really is", Andy on Who's running the Rhodes Scholarship, 7 September 2008

"Wow, JonC is clueless about what affirmative action is", Andy is all-knowing about affirmative action too, 8 Oct, 2008. (Archiving means no difflink, it's in the American History Midterm Exam section).
"You're both so clueless about law-and-order that it is hardly worth debating further." Andy talking about Obama voting down a particular (gang) law, 30 October 2008.

"I did reflect on how the BBC (and Economist) perceive American conservatives, and concluded they are clueless.", Andy reflects on liberal British media, Nov 16, 2008. (This discussion is actually a twofer: about an hour earlier, Schlafly offered this: "The BBC is liberal ... and clueless about American politics." (ellipses in original).
"FernoKlump, don't be clueless." Andy on the suggestion of ending public schooling, 17 November 2008
"Several here are either clueless about the very promiscuous homosexual lifestyle, or are aware of it and seek to mislead others", Andy knows all about teh gayz, 25 Nov 2008.
"You're clueless about Islam", Andy, acknowledged scholar of Islam, makes himself clear, Nov 26th, 2008.
"'Boomcoach' may be easily amused but he is clueless about what the role of a president even is". Andy on the role of President of the United States, 30 November 2008

"You're apparently clueless about Obama's beliefs and your postings demonstrate that you're clueless about the swearing in process also." - Two for the price of one from the master! 18 December 2008

2009[edit]

"You're clueless^img, Myles." 28 January 2009.
"Peter, you're clueless^img about the dangers of sending a 13-year-old girl off to a liberal college." 6 April 2009.

"You're clueless^img. Try reading homeschooling with an open-mind and then let's discuss. Contributions by homeschoolers far surpass, in proportionate terms, contributions by people who went to public school. / Before I waste time further on this discussion, can you indicate how you do on open-mindedness test?" Quoted extensively for complete hilarity, OMT link moved from "essay" to "CP" and left red for now. 10 December 2009

"Zack, you're clueless^img." 14 December 2009.
"Matthew, you're clueless^img here." 29 December 2009

2010[edit]

"The British list of top ten conservative movies of the decade is clueless and obscure: the author should have read our entry and found these examples: Spider-Man, Dark Matter, the Patriot and Flash of Genius." On the main page, no less! 1 January 2010

"Once again, the clueless Obama..." Andy finally takes his shot at the guy whose shoes he has never been fit to polish. 27 January 2010

"...the clueless^img and lazy Obama..." 5 June 2010
"The clueless ^img L.A. Times claims this answer is wrong..." 2 October 2010
"Clueless^img liberal claptrap..." 12 October 2010

2011[edit]

"Thanks to liberal restrictions on oil drilling and Obama's clueless foreign policy, gas prices continue climb". Cluelessness again hits the Front Page! March 7, 2011

Others catching on[edit]

Pre-Andy usage clues[edit]

The following is empirical evidence that the phrase "you're clueless" evolves from the earlier "you have no clue" used by other people:

"Clearly you have no clue what you're talking about, so cut it out until you do know what you're talking about." Scorpionman (now User:Scorpion, Blocked by TK (inactivity) 6 May 2009) on arguments regarding evolution, 16 March 2007
"This comment just shows that you have no clue what communism means." User:Order on communism, 17 March 2007
"And they haven't clue now, as they didn't then, what's happening in the real world." RobS on anti-war protests, 19 March 2007
"...we see mindless partisans who haven't a clue as to what they beleive in, other than nihilism." RobS on McCarthyism, 29 March 2007 (EDT)

"I'm going to give you a clue as to how to identify the big lie that subverts the 1st Amendment into the complete opposite of its original intent." AmesG got hit by Roopilots6 on Law, 2 April 2007
"What's frustratating is, they actually hold immense poltical power, but haven't a clue what to do with it." RobS on the liberals on Wikipedia, 4 April 2007 (EDT)
"I get the impression you don't have a clue about the subject." RobS (presumably) to User:Order regarding election, 11 April 2007
"The Science flaws section of his website highligts even more flaws in modern science here and he was links [sic] to articles in which scienctists [sic] admit that the[y] don't have a clue how the world works here." Mmeelliissssaa on Geocentric theory, 25 April 2007 (EDT)

"Are you completely clueless??" Rob Pommer schooling Ken on adding a Dead Sea Scrolls section in the Bible article, (between 24 April and 7 May 2007, undated and archived) (Here we see the evolved form emerging)
"In addition, you have obviously no clue about school situation in Germany. " schifra schooling Andy on homeschooling in Germany, 21 May 2007

Students learn from the master[edit]

Also see the temporal difference between "you are clueless" and "you have no clue" in the learning curves of Andy's ~~Acolytes~~ ~~Apostles~~ Disciples.

(Near miss) "you appear to listen to too many crackpots and bibliosceptics who haven't a clue what they are talking about." PJR on the authenticity of the Gospels, 18 July 2007
(Near miss) "...,that is the term Psychiatrists give to a condition that simply means "we haven't got a clue."" Rob Smith on schizophrenia, 15 August 2007 (EDT)
(Near miss) "And, please get a clue before trolling here!" TK combating a troll on George W. Bush, 31 August 2007
(Near miss) "Seems pretty obvious you haven't a clue who Jesus was or what his "teachings" were." Rob Smith on a Jesus joke, 6 December 2007

(Near miss) "You have no clue to what you are talking about", PJR on evolution, 14 January 2008
(Near miss) "..., but as you have already shown that you don't have much of a clue about the creation model, that's not saying much." PJR on Flood geology, 15 January 2008
(Near miss) "They, of course, don't have a clue as to why" Karajou on decline in circulation of newspapers, 27 January 2008

(Near miss) "...the paleontologists quoted in the article had no clue what they were talking about." PJR on transitional fossils, 1 February 2008
"Phoenix, you're clueless", Crocoite on the putting the blame on liberals on messing up the world, 9 March 2008. (The first example of cross-pollination of the term)
(Near miss) "...,you really don't have a clue about the idea that you are attempting to refute." PJR on refuting YEC, 10 April 2008

"You've shown several instances of Liberal style here, and you're clueless." IndianaJ accusing someone being a liberal, 4 May 2008. Ed Poor breaks all irony meters by issuing a warning, 21 May 2008. (Presumably) Our update on Ed's Talk page, 25 May 2008

"Are you really as clueless as the above post suggests?" TerryH on putting gigantic images on a short article, 4 June 2008
(Near miss) "You also obviously have no clue about Islam", StatsMsn on Islam, 14 June 2008
"Oh, nobody's objecting to you flying when clueless." Carafe schooling Andy, 14 June 2008

"He's so clueless he probably thinks Japan dropped an atomic bomb on Pearl Harbor!" Kajillion jumps on the bandwagon on the catchphrase (after Andy) on Obama, 21 July 2008
Riposte! "Moreover, according to everything i have seen here, Mr. Schlafly, you seem to have no clue what you are talking about." - Stitch75, 22 July 2008 (EDT)

(Near miss) "You have absolutely no clue as to what is happening in the past or right now." Karajou fighting the liberal horde, 1 August 2008
"WillD's clueless and insulting intervention ignores (deliberately?) the advent of a socialist government in 1997" Bugler jumps in on the crime rate of violen crimes in UK, 17 August 2008.
"Jinx, you're clueless." Jinx _{hi Jinx!} got hit by AliceBG on the expected voter turnout, 2 September 2008.
(Near miss) "Showing once again that the left doesn't have a clue who Jesus is." Jinx _{hi Jinx!} tried to blend in, 10 September 2008
"Not only are you wrong. You're clueless." AliceBG really gets the hang of it, on relation between Holocaust and evolution, 12 September 2008
(Near miss) "You don't have a clue!" GrandpaNicolas (Sock of someone) jumps in discussing identity of Bugler, 18 October 2008
"Matthews, completely clueless^img that the point our Founding Fathers understood was that it is much harder to repress a free people that is armed, derided Rubio in the Sideshow portion of his June 22nd Hardball" (emphasis in original), TK on gun control, 24 June 2009

Usage graph[edit]

Graph last updated: 1 Feb 2009 by human, we may not have caught all Dec/Jan examples though. This is Andy-only.

Condemnation of usage[edit]

On 21 May 2008, Ed Poor stood up for decency on Conservapedia and condemned the usage of this insulting phrase. Inexplicably, his comments were not directed at the originator and main deployer of the phrase, but at another editor.