User:EddyP/sandbox

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Their official commie logo

North Korea, also known as the DPRK or "Democratic" (ha ha) "People's" (yeah right) "Republic" (not!) of Korea (well, half of it!), is a small remnant of the Cold War ruled by the crazy dictator Kim Jong Il[1], who inherited the country from his daddy, Kim Il Sung[2]. It is anticipated that KJI's third son, Kim Jong-Un, will succeed his father. It is perhaps the most undemocratic and totalitarian state in existence, and the only country in the world in which internet access is altogether banned.[3]

Its only real industry at this point is its military (which all men from ages 18-35 are required to join). A joint North-South industrial park has been set up, but rather intrusive "security" regulations on workers and businessmen has prevented it from doing as well as it might. During the Cold War, North Korea benefited from favourable trade deals with other communist countries, particularly the USSR. However, when the USSR collapsed there was no longer a market for inferior North Korean goods and NK stopped receiving favourable prices on fuel and the like. NK factories stopped functioning, and a 'rust belt' emerged, as factories fell into disrepair. Instead, North Korea is trying to build up its tourism, by showcasing the natural beauty that exists there. Considering the nation's near total lack of development it does indeed have a lot of natural wonders. Of course, the tourist board does not mention the spirit-crushing hunger that most of the non-military citizens endure.

North Korea, an astronomer's paradise.

Amusingly enough, the definition of the word "Democratic" according the OED is "a system of government by the whole population of a state," and the definition of "Republic" is "a state in which supreme power is held by the people," meaning that North Korea's full name means "People-ruled People's People-ruled State of Korea."

North Korea's official ideology is "Juche", a totally self-serving invention of Kim Il Sung which combines Stalinism and Maoism with fervent religious worship of Kim Il Sung, and now his son. As part of the Juche ideology, North Korea's government is a dictatorship of three groups in society: the industrial proletariat, farmers and peasants, and intellectuals. This is in contrast to the usual Communist notion that the dictatorship is of the industrial proletariat only, and, one supposes, makes North Korea less bad in comparison to Cambodia under Pol Pot, who had all the intellectuals executed. North Korea has three political parties, allegedly representing each of these classes, instead of the usual one in other Communist states. None of these parties is independent to any degree and are all fronts for the personality cult of Kim Il Sung and Kim Jong Il, so don't let anyone fool you into thinking North Korea is a multiparty democracy or anything like that. The largest and most dominant of these parties is the Workers Party of Korea. The real opposition if it exists is forcibly suppressed by the government to the point of paranoia; anyone who fails to show sufficient religious fervor toward the Great Leader and the Dear Leader is suspect.

Seriously, the people in that country are starving to death, and yet Kim still thinks that one day he'll reunite all of Korea under his benevolent heel.

External links[edit]

Footnotes[edit]

  1. Technically somebody called Kim Yong-nam is the de facto Head of State, but then Kim Yong-nam may as well be a sockpuppet of Kim Jong Il.
  2. It is not technically inherited, since Kim Il Sung is still the "Eternal President of the Republic"
  3. "The Internet Black Hole That Is North Korea", New York Times, October 23, 2006.

Category:Asian countries Category:Extreme moonbattery