| Voice of the voiceful|
|Lest women catch up|
|Bros before hoes|
Paul Elam (1957–) is a men's rights activist who founded and runs what is more or less the men's rights movement's flagship website, A Voice for Men.
In many respects, he could be considered the unofficial leader of said movement, if not for the infighting between him and other manosphere mullahs such as W. F. Price (The Spearhead) and Daryush Valizadeh (Return of Kings).
In 2011, Elam established the site Register-Her.com, which publishes the personal information of women the site claims "have caused significant harm to innocent individuals either by the direct action of crimes like rape, assault, child molestation and murder, or by the false accusation of crimes against others." While the list includes women who have been sent to prison for various crimes, it also includes others who were acquitted, and some whose "crime" is expressing an opinion that MRA's don't like. It also lists any rape victim whose court case results in anything but a full conviction and sentencing as a "false accuser".
The site's real purpose is for documenting what it terms "anti-male bigotry," which, in essence, means being female and daring to express an opinion with which men's rights activists disagree. These are the posts that are cross-referenced in the sidebars and banners of A Voice For Men, with an image of a bloody knife as its logo and the slogan "TRUTH is the real bitch". The point behind listing the registered criminals (which include female offenders who have been executed, as well as female offenders currently serving life sentences) is to conflate real crimes with displeasing the MRA hive mind.
One alleged "bigot" singled out by Elam on the site was a mommy blogger who wrote about her discomfort with having adult men help her young daughters use the bathroom at their preschool. After she was attacked on men's rights sites, the blogger took down her post, apologizing for her "demonization of men." However, this mea culpa failed to pacify Elam, who maintained, "You targeted fathers, and just fathers. It strikes me that you have never really been held to account for any of your actions in life. It is quite likely that the concept of complete, selfless accountability is just completely foreign to you."
Elam, meanwhile, has shown zero concern over the fact that his site targets only one gender or that doxxing innocent people has (or could potentially have) real-world consequences like harassment and stalking. In fact, he has stated that the site could feature a listee's "name, address, phone number … even her routes to and from work," though to date he has not gone so far as publishing addresses and phone numbers. He once offered a cash reward to whoever was able to discover the real name of an anonymous feminist blogger.
The White Ribbon Campaign was established in 1991 following the École Polytechnique massacre enacted by antifeminist Marc Lépine, a mass-shooting which resulted in the death of 14 women, as a symbol of opposition to violence against women and solidarity between genders.
In October 2014, Elam launched a copycat campaign under the domain WhiteRibbon.org in order to attack the existing campaign. Aside from a few articles reposted from other websites, WhiteRibbon.org itself is pretty bare. That is to say, if you don't count the plea for donations in the top right corner of the page. According to Elam, "all donations for our White Ribbon effort will be used to maintain and enhance this website", which presumably means that they will go the same way as the rest of the A Voice for Men donations, rather than towards any substantial effort to support victims of any kind of violence.
Elam once accused women who've been raped of bringing the crime committed against them upon themselves because "they are stupid (and often arrogant) enough to walk though [sic] life with the equivalent of a [sic] I'M A STUPID, CONNIVING BITCH – PLEASE RAPE ME neon sign glowing above their empty little narcissistic heads." He has also stated that he would vote to acquit in the event he were called to serve on the jury in a rape trial even if he knew for a fact that the accused were guilty.
"Bash a Violent Bitch Month"
Elam once wrote that October should become "Bash a Violent Bitch Month", in response to the Jezebel article, "Have You Ever Beat Up A Boyfriend? Cause, Uh, We Have". The idea was that male survivors of domestic violence should "beat the living shit" out of their abusers. Elam went on to state:
[Fogg Alert! Satire!] That’s it. In the name of equality and fairness, I am proclaiming October to be Bash a Violent Bitch Month.
I don’t mean subdue them, or deliver an open handed pop on the face to get them to settle down. I mean literally to grab them by the hair and smack their face against the wall till the smugness of beating on someone because you know they won’t fight back drains from their nose with a few million red corpuscles. And then make them clean up the mess. [....] To all the men out there that decided to say “Damn the consequences,” and fight back, you are heroes to the cause of equality; true feminists. And you are the honorary Kings of Bash a Violent Bitch Month. You are living proof of just how hollow "don’t fuck with us," rings from the mouths of bullies and hypocrites. And then make them clean up the mess.
However, Elam has clarified that this piece was satire with "satire" tags throughout:
[O]nce again, for those who missed it, this article is a satirical response to this piece on Jezebel ("Have you Ever Beat Up a Boyfriend? Because, Uh, We Have") and to common media “jokes” about women physically assaulting men and boys.
And why was he not serious? Elam clarifies (with a helpful "not satire" tag):
Now, am I serious about this?
No.[/stupid alert] Not because it’s wrong. It’s not wrong. Every one should have the right to defend themselves. Hell, women are often excused from killing someone whom they allege has abused them. They can shoot them in their sleep and walk. Happens all the time. It’ll even get you a spot on Oprah, and cuntists across the cunt-o-sphere will be lionizing you.
[not satire] In that light, every one of those women at Jezebel and millions of others across the western world are as deserving of a righteous ass kicking as any human being can be. But it isn’t worth the time behind bars or the abuse of anger management training that men must endure if they are uppity enough to defend themselves from female attackers.
Elam admitted after the fact to using an unspecified amount of money donated to run A Voice for Men to cover his own personal living expenses. He did not disclose his intention to use some of the money for this purpose to potential donors in advance, only stating that it would go toward "dedicated servers, image royalties, legal fees, internet radio premiums, various kinds of computer and media hardware," and travel expenses for AVfM-related public appearances. None of this comes as much of a surprise since like the vast majority of men's rights "activism", A Voice for Men does basically nothing with concrete real-world civil rights results such as protests, lobbying politicians, buying ad-time on television, or charity work for disadvantaged men. He has also stated that there is no distinction between his personal finances and that of the website, meaning that any donations to the website are spent exactly as he sees fit, and rely exactly on the trust of the donator.
Also, showing what a great guy he is, he has actually banned people during fundraising events for donating some but not "enough" and once bragged about men in financial trouble giving donations out of their unemployment checks.
Jury nullification occurs when someone (or, as local laws vary) on a jury at a jury trial believes that the accused is legally guilty but morally blameless and so lets them go. Elam writes that:
Should I be called to sit on a jury for a rape trial, I vow publicly to vote not guilty, even in the face of overwhelming evidence that the charges are true. [....] Voting not guilty on any charge of rape is the only way to remain faithful to the concept of presumed innocence. And any participation in the system as it stands, other than with the intent to undermine it as much as possible, is taking part in the destruction of that sacred presumption.
If you are sitting on a jury hearing a case of rape, the only way to serve justice is to acquit.
Better a rapist would walk the streets than a system that merely mocks justice enslave another innocent man. And better a system that cannot be trusted as it is, be corrected from within by a single honest citizen in the name of real justice.
There are so many examples of Paul Elam's breathtakingly hypocritical behavior that could be highlighted here, but if one is to look for the definitive example of complete lack of self-awareness and unbelievable irony on his part, one need look no further than the "advice" he gave to Anita Sarkeesian near the end of the hack "documentary" The Sarkeesian Effect:
“”"...that you really do deserve and need to get some help. Whatever is driving you to push people and to harm people, whatever drives you to provoke people and take their reaction and raise money off of it is sociopathic behavior. And, there may be help, I don't know if it's your childhood or your relationship life, but rather than just say something terrible and rude to you, I'd like to urge you to please get some help."
|—Paul Elam hitting Hypocrisy Overload |
This comes from the guy who made a drunken video with his other A Voice for Men cohorts where he went on a tirade about Jessica Valenti not being interested in giving any of those guys blow-jobs, as well as making crass comments about another feminist's "pussy", and where one of the AVFM allies even slurred something about "good rape". . It really seems to be the case that Elam could do with a hell of a lot of self-reflection before he accuses others of "needing to get some help".
- Page where he owns up to "doxxing" his subjects. – Commentary by Futrelle at #7
- More by Futrelle about doxxing
- About the fake offenders' registry.
- A page detailing the A Voice for Men primary doctrine of "fuck their shit up", which basically means harass and threaten anybody that can't bring legal recourse into terrified silence
- Analysis of a text written by Paul Elam where he justifies domestic violence against women: "She deserved the ass-kicking of a lifetime"
- How Men’s Rights Leader Paul Elam Turned Being A Deadbeat Dad Into A Moneymaking Movement, Buzzfeed
- Arthur Goldwag, "Leader’s Suicide Brings Attention to Men's Rights Movement", Southern Poverty Law Center Intelligence Report
- David Futrelle, "Register-Her is a Fake “Offenders Registry” Run By Misogynists, Designed to Vilify and Intimidate Women", We Hunted the Mammoth
- Betty Beets - Killer, Register-Her
- Susan Smith - Killer, Register-Her
- "Paul Elam's Threat to Women", YourListen
- David Futrelle, "Men’s Rights site A Voice for Men offers $1000 “bounty” for personal information on Swedish feminists", We Hunted the Mammoth
- Montreal Massacre: Men wearing white ribbons, Canadian Broadcasting Corporation
- Jill Filipovic, Why Is an Anti-Feminist Website Impersonating a Domestic Violence Organization?, Cosmopolitan
- White Ribbon Copycat Statement, The White Ribbon Campaign
- Paul Elam, "Challenging the Etiology of Rape"
- Paul Elam, "Jury Duty at a Rape Trial? Acquit!", A Voice for Men, July 20, 2010, preserved at the Wayback Machine
- Paul Elam, "If You See Jezebel in the Road, Run the Bitch Down", A Voice for Men
- http://web.archive.org/web/*/http://www.avoiceformen.com/2010/10/22/if-you-see-jezebel-in-the-road-run-the-bitch-down/ Unfortunately, web.archive.org is unable to show archived versions of Elam's old pages because of Elam's robots.txt, which he changed after the pages were archived.
- David Futrelle, "A Voice for Men’s Paul Elam finally admits that he’s been pocketing an unspecified chunk of site donations", We Hunted the Mammoth
- David Futrelle, "Men Rights Activist: Don’t expect activism from us, because “someone has to keep this society running and it damn sure ain’t going to be the ladies.”", We Hunted the Mammoth
- A Voice for Men pressured by Reddit MRAs on Donation-Transparency From Doubletree Hilton fiasco, Fethez HUB
- Paul Elam's "advice" to Anita Sarkeesian
- "The Blair Bitch Project
- Mother Jones: Even Some Men's Rights Activists Are Worried About a Trump Presidency: "'Trump talks a lot about building a wall and the outlandish proposition that he's going to stop drugs from entering the country—which is impossible,' says Elam. He's wary of a candidate who would further criminalize drugs, leading to greater incarceration of men."; "[...] Both Elam and Esmay referred to her as a "lizard" while speaking with Mother Jones [...].".