Fun:Newfoundland and Labrador

From RationalWiki
Jump to navigation Jump to search
They have a great (if slightly worrying) flag

Newfoundland is Canada's easternmost and newest province. Because of a border dispute with Quebec, its name has been formally changed to Newfoundland and Labrador, although nobody outside of Newfoundland ever remembers this. Except Labrador Retrievers.

Newfoundland was colonised by the British Empire in 1583 and voted for pseudo-independence as a dominion in 1907 alongside New Zealand. As a loyal member of the Commonwealth, Newfoundland participated in the First World War with disastrous results.[1] In 1939, Newfoundland was tasked with coastal defense and saw far fewer losses. In 1949, having gone bankrupt, Newfoundland opted to join Canada.

Labrador was the only part of North America to be invaded by the Nazis during World War II, which they did for the nefarious purposes of... setting up a weather station (which was actually important back then, as since weather moves eastward between 30° and 60° of latitude, and thus knowing the weather of Labrador could help the Germans predict the weather in the Atlantic Ocean). However, the station broke down after only one month of operation. None of the Allied nations would be aware of the existence of the station until 1981, when it was ultimately dismantled and put in the Canadian War Museum in Ottawa.[2]

When it joined Canada, it had three natural resources in its favour: fish stocks (which have since been depleted due to overfishing and environmental devastation), hydroelectric power (which has since been pwned by Quebec) and oil (which will only be pried from its cold, dead hands). For some reason, the rest of Canada likes to make fun of Newfoundland, albeit in a very different way than they make fun of Alberta, British Columbia, Ontario, Quebec, etc. To be fair, one can't expect a province full of the offspring of sailors and Irish folks to not be known as hard drinkers. Some jokes may also be partially rooted in the provincial accent, which is a strange Irish-English hybrid. To truly master the language of the locals, reliance on generous amounts of Catholic blasphemy is suggested.

Newfies live in their very own personalized time capsule cube zone, at UTC-3:30. It is rumoured that there may be jokes about this.[3]

Newfoundland likes to vote en masse for populist politicians.

In a nutshell[edit]

See also[edit]