Fun:North Korea

Tired of laughing? RationalWiki has a slightly more serious article about North Korea.

Best Korea.

“”Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we.

—George W. Bush Respected Comrade Kim Jong-un.

Some truths are so self-evident, so obvious, that they cannot possibly be denied by any rational person. One of those truths is that the Democratic People's Republic of Korea (DPRK) is the single greatest country that has ever existed in human history. No other country has ever had such a happy and smiling citizenry. No other country has displayed the same strength of moral conviction. No other country has built a military force that can equal the DPRK in strength. It is the wealthiest and most powerful nation on Earth. It is the most democratic and well-governed country on Earth. The government, led by the wise and judicious Kim Jong-un, has not listened to a single complaint from any citizen. As a result of this resounding success, the DPRK is often referred to as Best Korea.

Tragically, the DPRK is constantly having to defend its reputation from attacks by the haters. Imperialist lies spread by the fascist jackals that run the United States of America have tarnished the DPRK's international image. Other nations in the West have followed suit, spreading false claims that the DPRK has "labor camps" and an "atrocious human rights record". If that was true, why are DPRK citizens always smiling? Why are DPRK citizens not leaving in droves? In reality, the fascist United States is a failing nation where people starve on the streets while their oligarchs point and laugh. The United States is building a border wall to keep its population from fleeing into Mexico, a marginally wealthier nation. The starving American people are even eating their dogs and cats in Springfield, Ohio! The United States is an aggressive, imperialist nation that frequently fires rockets into the Sea of Japan and denounces the benevolent DPRK government with bellicose and dangerous rhetoric. The truth should be so clear, and yet the capitalist pigdogs that run the governments of America's submissive puppet states spread lies so freely. How shameful!

Under the kindly and good-natured leadership of Respected Comrade Kim Jong-un, every citizen is free to achieve his or her dreams. Every citizen ends the day with a full belly and content smile. The DPRK is constantly pushing humanity forward through its achievements in prosperity and science. Any statements to the contrary only serve to undermine humanity's progress and further the interests of the anti-humanity elite.

How the passionate revolutionary Kim Il-sung founded the Democratic People's Republic of Korea to be a glorious example to all mankind

“”South Korea exists because America invaded Korea, killed millions of people, divided the country and continues to garrison South Korea with military bases, nuclear weapons, and chemical and biological weapons.

—George Galloway, a member of the undemocratic British Parliament.

The Korean peninsula was once an impoverished part of the Japanese Empire, a state governed and populated by weak-minded men who only knew how to inflict cruelty. During the period fascist infighting the world calls "World War II", the indomitable patriot Kim Il-sung lead the Korean people against the hateful Japanese dogs. Supported by his loyal army of heroes, Kim Il-sung single-handedly led the effort to liberate Korea and destroy the Japanese Empire, ending decades of oppression.

Korea was weakened after decades of pillaging by the rapacious Japanese monsters. Kim Il-sung wept to see the state of his country! He established the Democratic People's Republic of Korea in Juche 37 (1948), creating a well-meaning and responsive government to oversee the reconstruction of Korea. His Worker's Party of Korea solemnly took up the great burden of ensuring democratic leadership in Korea. Sadly, in this moment of Korea's weakness, the opportunistic hyenas of the United States Armed Forces pounced to seize control of the southern portion of the Korean peninsula. There, they established the so-called "Republic of Korea", a sham state led by the traitorous war criminal Syngman Rhee.

In Juche 39 (1950), the treacherous American bastards and their South Korean running-dogs launched an unprovoked surprise attack against the peace-loving workers and peasants of the DPRK. They did this because they knew the DPRK, under Kim's enlightened leadership, would present an existential threat to Western fascist dominance of the world if it was allowed to rebuild. American planes conducted bombing raids against the innocent and child-like people of the DPRK, who had only asked to live in harmony with the world. This was the greatest war crime in the history of the human race. American soldiers, blinded by the propaganda of their demonic leaders, massacred innocent Koreans with the most cruel and brutal methods. More information on this important topic can be found at the Sinchon Museum of American War Atrocities.

Although the fascist invaders used the most horrible methods of war ever seen by humanity, their weak-willed generals could not overcome the tenacious defense organized by the military genius Kim Il-sung. After years of brutal warfare, with only token assistance from the selfish Chinese, Kim Il-sung pushed the hook-nosed American gangsters from the DPRK's land. The American jackals and their "South Korean" slaves were forced grovel before Kim and sign a humiliating peace, forever conceding the DPRK's independence.

Kim Il-sung's immortal deeds and revolutionary life will forever define the DPRK, a nation that only exists due to the even-handed leadership of Kim and his successors.

Under Kim Il-sung's enlightened leadership, the DPRK is a proud nation!

Other proud moments in the history of the Democratic People's Republic of Korea

“”There have been achievements in North Korea … They do have a cohesive, pristine actually, innocent culture. A culture that has not been penetrated by globalisation and by Western mores and is very interesting to see.

—George Galloway, a member of the fascist British government, acknowledging the superiority of Korean culture.

The Korean people are the makers of their own destiny!

Kim Il-sung blesses Korea with Juche, the greatest idea in history that enjoys unanimous support from progressives around the world!

After his triumph over the Western dogs, Kim Il-sung tirelessly went about building Korea to its rightful position as the greatest country in the world. He reformed Korean society by redistributing land, nationalizing key industries, and enforcing gender equality. US President Jimmy Carter, recognizing the inferiority of his own pathetic country, said Kim Il-sung was a greater man with greater accomplishments than George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, and Abraham Lincoln combined.

Smart leader Kim Il-sung was not yet satisfied! The DPRK was surrounded by threats to its treasured and hard-fought independence. The untrustworthy Russians to the north hoped to manipulate the independence-loving workers and peasants of DPRK, and they followed an inferior form of socialist thought. The back-stabbing Chinese to the west had not abandoned the mindset their imperialist past, and they followed yet another butchered form of socialist thinking. Neither power could be relied upon any more than the perfidious gangsters in Japan or the United States.

This is why the enlightened philosopher Kim Il-sung revealed to his people the immortal idea of Juche, which has become the central idea of the modern world. Juche teaches the education-loving workers and peasants of the DPRK that they are the masters of their own destiny and should not subordinate themselves to any foreign power. Juche is the product of Korea's centuries-long revolutionary struggle for freedom, and it proved itself through decades of the DPRK's struggle against imperialism. All people of the world who seek to build a society of justice and democracy take Juche as their guiding idea.

Though Kim Il-sung passed away in Juche 83 (1994), he will live forever in the hearts and minds of the grateful Korean people and progressives around the world. He is the Sun that shines upon and guides all movements for independence and democracy around the world. He is the Eternal President of the Democratic People's Republic of Korea.

Kim Jong-il continues the great work of his predecessor, building Korea into a military power the West is terrified to face!

The guidance of Eternal General Secretary Kim Jong-il maintained the DPRK's place as the world's beacon of stability and democracy!

Kim Jong-il was dedicated to the thinking of great leader Kim Il-sung from the time he was a boy, and he was determined to build upon his predecessor's work in building Korea's future. He became president at a time when the anti-socialist and anti-democratic offensive launched by the Western imperialists was at its height. The DPRK's fellow socialist states fell under this onslaught. The Soviet Union proved the inferiority of its brand of socialist thinking by collapsing without a single shot fired, a pitiful display that never would have happened had they followed Kim Il-sung's enlightened ideology of Juche. The Chinese gave in to the temptations offered by a return to their imperialist past, and they implemented regressive policies to transform themselves into an anti-worker capitalist state just like the ones that infest the West. The DPRK stood alone against a world that wanted nothing less than to see the Juche state fail, which would plunge humanity back into darkness and condemn workers and peasants around the world to lives of hopeless oppression.

Determined to prevent this at all costs, Kim Jong-il built the Korean People’s Army into an invincible and self-reliant force that the Western imperialists are terrified to face. He armed the people, fortified the country, and built up the modern defense industry. He fanned the flames of both the Industrial Revolution and Kim Il-sung's revolution, placing the DPRK at the forefront of science and technology. The DPRK became the world's most significant manufacturer and launcher of satellites into space, and he began development of a weapon that would safeguard the future of the safety-loving workers and peasants of the DPRK forever. His seasoned diplomatic strategy and energetic foreign activities made Korea the most prestigious and respected country in the world. The United States, hoping to cause chaos and warfare, could only look on in frustrated jealousy as Kim Jong-il safeguarded the peace and stability of all of Asia.

His demise in Juche 100 (2011) was a time of great mourning for the government-loving workers and peasants of the DPRK. In gratitude for his life of selfless service, the country granted him the titles of "Eternal General Secretary of the Workers' Party of Korea" and "Eternal Chairman of the DPRK National Defence Commission."

Kim Jong-un forces the imperialist American dogs to acknowledge the divine superiority of the Korean nation!

Donald Trump, the feckless leader of the ignorant American rabble, looks on admiringly as Respected Comrade Kim Jong-un scolds an American reporter for spreading anti-Juche lies.

Kim Jong-un, the respected current Supreme Leader of the DPRK, has unfolded a new chapter in Korea's great history through the power of his noble morals and ethics. His capacity for enlightened leadership is so great that he was the only choice to lead the great Korean nation! He is possessed of an infinite loyalty to the cause of Juche and matchless courage and pluck.

With his energetic ideological and theoretical activities, he published many classic works. He declared that all of Korean society must be modeled on Kimilsungism-Kimjongilism, the revolutionary idea that forms the ultimate program of the Workers' Party of Korea. He strictly oriented all organs of the Party and the state towards defending and consolidating the unity and welfare of the unity-and-welfare-loving workers and peasants of the DPRK, instructing well-meaning officials to acquaint themselves with the concerns of the people and solve the issues and problems that people have in their life and work in a responsible and efficient manner.

He further set the Korean People's Army on the task of building the most Juche-oriented, modern and scientific fighting force in the entire world, and he accomplished this with unprecedented success. To this end, Kim Jong-un has overseen the construction of powerful Juche missiles and weapons that terrify the imperialist powers of the world and ensure that Korea will never again be invaded! The actions of Kim Jong-un furthered the humankind’s cause of independence by frustrating the imperialists' underhanded practices and war schemes, and he enjoys the admiration of the international community as the world's greatest champion of peace and justice!

So obvious is the superiority of the Korean nation that even Donald Trump, the pig-faced leader of the amoral American nation, came crawling on his hands and knees in Juche 106 (2018) to meet Respected Comrade Kim Jong-un so that he might learn from the enlightened example of Korean leadership. So-called "president" Donald Trump was enamored with Respected Comrade Kim Jong-un at first sight, recognizing that Supreme Leader of the state and army Kim Jong-un, and indeed all Korean men, were more masculine and wise than any American man could ever hope to match. The relationship between Donald Trump and Respected Comrade Kim Jong-un evolved into a friendship that raised the hope of ending the evil cycle of American antagonism and righteous Korean response. Unfortunately, Donald Trump, in typical undisciplined American fashion, lost focus on the diplomatic process and returned to usual American policy. Respected Comrade Kim Jong-un expressed his heartbreak at this development, but he redoubled his efforts to continue building the DPRK into a beacon of hope for all mankind.

The wise and insightful Korean People's government protects its citizens from partaking in the following decadent Western habits

1. Wearing jeans, a Western style of clothing that promotes indecency and lustful thinking.
2. Drinking Coca-Cola, a sugar-filled Western drink that quickly causes diabetes.
3. Driving a car (exept if you have a special authorization from the leader). Tens of thousands of people die in the USA each year from car accidents. Not a problem for the safety-loving workers and peasants of the DPRK!
4. Waching a show or movie from another country. Our citizens are protected from dangerous, imperialist lies.
5. Having a Bible. The Bible is a book of anti-communist lies.
6. Having a Quran. The Quran is a book of anti-communist lies.
7. Not professing belief in Juche, the most true and accurate ideology ever envisioned.
8. Having a hairstyle other than one authorized by the government, because the harmony-loving workers and peasants of the DPRK value unity.
9. Not having a photo of the leader at home, because it is important for the self-betterment of the people to have a role model to look up to at home.
10. Celebrating your birthday if it is at the same day than the death of Kim Il Sung and Kim Jong Il. All attention must be focused to the DPRK's leaders, so they might bless us all with their wisdom even after they have departed us.
11. Not participating at the elections every 5 years (only the Workers' Party of Korea is legally allowed on the ballot). The democracy-loving workers and peasants of the DPRK value civic engagement, and the benevolent government !
12. Having the same name as the leader. The simplicity-loving workers and peasants of the DPRK do not wish to be distracted by annoying coincidences.
13. Leaving the country (except with a special authorization from the leader). No one ever wants to do this anyway.

See also

• Fun:Australia is an outpost of American oppression that exists only to threaten the peace-loving workers and peasants of the DPRK with military force.
• Fun:England is a totalitarian regime that has filled its streets with surveillance cameras to constantly watch its oppressed people.
• Fun:France is a nation of pig-men. They waste no effort to lick the boots of their American masters. Their obsequiousness truly turns the stomach!
• Fun:God, also known as Kim Il-sung.
• Fun:RationalWiki, a dangerous hive of anti-socialist thinking.
• Fun:Socialism with Biden characteristics, an inferior American attempt to replicate the peerless Juche ideology.