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RE²AL WATER

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Concentrated water! Just add, er… water.
How Jesus made wine
Water woo
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Suckers getting soaked


Real Water® is another marketing ploy designed to separate customers from their cash by peddling what comes out of a domestic tap for a less than 1¢ a gallon[note 1] as a physically altered (and improved) premium product costing about $9 a gallon[2] — over 1000 times more expensive.

The claims[edit]

Real Water claims that the water that is delivered to your house is "damaged" by being "stripped of electrons(-)" as it travels "through pipes, filtration systems, and various devices". This makes the water no longer water since atoms won't bond into molecules without electrons "positive(+) ionized" and "very acidic". The details of how exactly this works is left to the readers' imaginations, and even if plumbing somehow acidifies the water, there is no explanation why one should be concerned about the water especially when it's going to enter highly acidic stomach acid anyway after one consumes it.

What it is[edit]

Real Water is filtered and sterilized municipal water with the addition of "potassium and magnesium".[note 2] The patented "E2 electron energized technology" process is claimed to add "hundreds of millions of free electrons" to "unclump" the water and give it an alkaline pH. This causes chemists and physicists to clutch their hearts.

Real Water Concentrate[edit]

No, it's not a joke. Real Water® is available as a concentrate.[3]

A 4 oz (or 120 ml) bottle of "concentrated" Real Water is claimed to treat more than 7 gallons,[note 3] a dilution rate of 1:240.

Real Plant Water[edit]

If you are feeling particularly gullible you can splash out on bottles of Real Water to water your garden.[note 4] The website claims:[4]

Real Plant Maximizer is a super growth enhancer. Like Real Water (tm) it contains negatively ionized water that enhances the absorption through the cell walls. Typically you can expect upt[sic] to 30% faster plant growth and up to 20% larger fruit yeild.[sic]

And this all for the bargain price of $39.95 a quart. Now, how far is a quart of water going to go in your garden?

The science behind Real Water[edit]

Two tumbleweeds rolling across the screen, from left to right.

We're waiting

Lawsuit[edit]

On March 16, 2021, a father filed a lawsuit in Nevada on behalf of himself, his wife, and their young son for allegedly becoming ill drinking the water. A daughter who did not drink the water did not become ill.[5] According to the lawsuit, Real Water is drawn from Las Vegas taps.

Public-healthy crisis[edit]

On March 18, 2021, Real Water pulled its products after federal and local health officials advised people to stop drinking it after Real Water was linked to liver problems in five hospitalized children who lived in four different households. Six other people, three children and three adults, were investigated for less-severe symptoms.

"Acute non-viral hepatitis is a liver inflammation that can be caused by exposure to toxins, autoimmune disease or drinking too much alcohol, the district said," CBSNews.com reported. "Symptoms can include fever, fatigue, loss of appetite, nausea, vomiting, abdominal pain, dark urine, light-colored stools, joint pain and yellow skin or eyes."[6]

There was no mention of the magical properties Real Water claims, nor of the apparent impossibility of their claims.

See also[edit]

External links[edit]

Official & affiliated sites[edit]

Notes[edit]

  1. The largest monthly bill for family of four using 50 gallons per person per day (4 × 30 × 50 = 6000 gal.) is $44 which equates to 0.7¢ per gallon.[1]
  2. As potassium metal reacts violently with water (as does magnesium) the additives are likely salts such as potassium chloride, potassium carbonate, potassium bicarbonate, or magnesium chloride.
  3. Dosage rate is 1 ml per 8 oz glass of water. So 120 ml would treat 120 × 8 oz = 60 pints = 7½ gallons.
  4. This puts them into direct competition with Brawndo, which has electrolytes — it's what plants crave!

References[edit]