Talk:Masturbation

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This thing kinda looks Silver[edit]

Thoughts? Reverend Black Percy (talk) 12:53, 7 August 2016 (UTC)

Nofap movement[edit]

Where do i start? a friend of mine send me an Vice article about a guy who stopped masturbating for 100 Days and the whole time i tought "that guy sounds like a frigg'n monk!" I checked around and this Gary Wilson Guy and http://www.yourbrainonporn.com/ is thrown around a lot. now i am a paranoid fella and i smell a lowkey Christian plot, so any toughts about that? (besides me maybe being delusional again)--Benaresh (talk) 22:43, 8 January 2017 (UTC)

This info has been added to the NoFap page and hyperlinked here; not really Christian, more like pseudoscience. 86.130.218.163 (talk) 15:15, 16 March 2022 (UTC)

Is it a decongestant?[edit]

Sina Zarrintan of Tabriz Medical University hasn’t performed the clinical trials to test this hypothesis from 2009, but claims it would have benefits over decongestant drugs. Has there been any additional research? [1] X-Factor (talk) 21:15, 29 May 2017 (UTC)

This is clear from the article, but since there's not much else written on this afaik — he recieved the following reply, titled "Ejaculation as a treatment for nasal congestion in men is inconvenient, unreliable and potentially hazardous".
I'm not a doctor myself, but I'll note all the same that ejaculation as a monotherapy holds no benefit whatsoever over nasal congestant drugs. Reverend Black Percy (talk) 23:41, 29 May 2017 (UTC)
I'm surprised there isn't a more detailed study investigating the claims though, considering they have ones where people have sex in an MRI machine, I suppose people don't like signing up to be observed for experiments when they are sick with a cold, though they appear able to do those tests for vitamin C [2].
My next question is that the response article also claims a link between increased androgens from sex to an increased risk of prostate cancer in men, which is suggested in another study, [3] which says masturbation decreased the risk of prostate cancer in men over 50 but increases it in younger men. This reminds me a bit of the abortion breast cancer hypothesis so it seems like we should have a firm stance on this issue and that it should be included for the article on sex. "So it's not masturbation itself that's increasing prostate cancer risk in young men. More masturbation may just mean more sex drive -- and more androgens bathing prostate tissues." I'm curious whether it's always the case that masturbation levels in men are caused by a high level of androgens orand whether this prostate cancer risk would extend to engaging in high levels of physical activity such as sports; these are just theories, as Dr. Dimitropoulou warns, however the reply doesn't mention that. [4] The only other non viral link between cancer and sex I recall hearing about is the abortion breast cancer hypothesis. X-Factor (talk) 15:27, 30 May 2017 (UTC)

Just for fun[edit]

Considering its great age (some 49 years!) and greatly limited scope (one couple), I'm posting this mostly as a novelty. Meet BLOOD PRESSURE AND RESPIRATORY PATTERNS DURING HUMAN COITUS and allow me to present the two graphs, seen on page 4 and 5 of the .pdf (page 408-409 in the original print).

Their experiment shows that, while a spike in systolic blood pressure (read: what Zarrintan's whole discussion centers around) does occur in both male and female, said rise in blood pressure was only at its peak (read: even theoretically useful against nasal decongestion) for a miniscule window of time; seemingly a minute or less.

What's worse — said systolic blood pressure increase normalized within minutes, rendering it useless for constricting the blood vessels of the nasal conchaWikipedia (the primary target structure of nasal decongestants).

Regarding systolic blood pressure, then. In the female (quote):

Blood pressure started at 100 mm Hg and rose to 200 mm Hg during the first orgasm. It then fell sharply to 142 mm Hg, with a rise of only 13 mm Hg at the point of ejaculation. Approximately 30 sec after ejaculation there was a final rise to 190 mm Hg at the second orgasm, which was slightly lower than the figure during the first orgasm.

Likewise, in the male (quote):

Blood pressure rose to a peak, from 110 mm Hg to 175 mm Hg, at the point of ejaculation and then dropped sharply thereafter.

Interestingly; in the man, even his (for the purposes of nasal decongestion) quite meager spike in blood pressure — which he experienced when ejaculating after his best gal had orgasmed — was made more meager still when he orgasmed prior to her orgasm (quote):

On another occasion, when the male did not await the first female orgasm, the systolic blood pressure rose only to 140 mm Hg.

Since this is all a novelty anyways, I'm going to speculate as wildly as Zarrintan does above, and surmise the following. That a similar lessening of the desired blood pressure spike may occur when ejaculating solo (as compared to ejaculating with a partner).

Or, in other words: as small as the benefits that sex may have for purposes of adressing a stuffy nose (via systolic blood pressure alteration, at any rate), I'd wager the ejaculatory gains in blood pressure generated from masturbation may be smaller still.

As such, based on the above... In order to stand a chance of decongesting your nose via ejaculations alone (read: substituting for nasal decongestant drugs), you would apparently have to achieve orgasm — not just masturbate, but literally ejaculate — like a sweat-soaked methhead something like, once every five minutes, if not more often. All day.

And — assuming you'd want to enjoy having an unstuffed nose throughout the night as well — sleeplearning how to combine the mental presence of lucid dreaming, the aerobics of sleepwalkingWikipedia and the anatomy of nocturnal emissionWikipedia. This, in order to perfect the art of Nap&Fap™ (i.e.; managing to actually keep rubbing your lil' ding-dong all night long as well). Reverend Black Percy (talk) 00:29, 30 May 2017 (UTC)

Rational-Wikians like to do this while thinking of teenage girls! — Unsigned, by: Master Bates Motel / talk / contribs
I was going to exclaim "Where do these people get off?!", but then I realized that would've been funny. Reverend Black Percy (talk) 01:16, 30 May 2017 (UTC)

Adam and Eve[edit]

Eve was created from Adam's rib.

Is this not a euphemism for what actually happened? Anna Livia (talk) 19:59, 7 March 2021 (UTC)

I feel like I should understand what you mean, but I don't. Care to elaborate? SolPyre (talk) 23:12, 7 March 2021 (UTC)
I understand 'boner' is a term, and given the article a suggested non-ribcage point of origin for Eve. 23:25, 7 March 2021 (UTC)
Yeah, I'm still not getting it. The usual story is that god makes Eve from Adams's rib while Adam sleeps, so in your version of the story is god giving Adam an hj while he sleeps? Is Eve created from the jizz? Or does god remove the "rib" to make Eve and Adam wakes up later wondering where his dick went? I'm really thinking this all the way through... But for this to be related to masturbation its got to be Adam doing the deed so in your version of the story Adam has to be awake... Did Adam give dickbirth to Eve instead of ejaculating? Or was Adam jacking it and then his dick falls off and turns into a woman?
I need you to break this down for me! I'm just not following the joke at all. SolPyre (talk) 00:36, 8 March 2021 (UTC)
In some other mythology wasn't the universe so created>
The suggestion was that the original story was 'somewhat bowdlerised' when it was finally committed to writing (as, we all know, does happen). Anna Livia (talk) 14:46, 14 March 2021 (UTC)

protect[edit]

can someone protect the page? It got hit by 3 vandals today. --Andrew5 (talk) 20:49, 1 January 2022 (UTC)

Douglas Adams quote.[edit]

That was invented in 2007. You can see we talked about it then if you look at the chat archives.Bob"Life is short and (insert adjective)" 16:34, 14 January 2024 (UTC)

@Bob M Ah you absolute legend. THANK YOU. I'll feck around with the article some more (taking a bit of a break), then yeet that quote up top. Plenty of other funny quotes in the article to replace it with. - Rairyu75 (Talk) 17:07, 14 January 2024 (UTC)
Or, wait... do you want me to leave it? I'll leave it if you like, as an old in-joke for us. You have been here way longer, so I'll defer to your judgmnet. - Rairyu75 (Talk) 17:10, 14 January 2024 (UTC)
No - do what you think is best. To be honest I was never happy with having a made-up quote - and I'm almost certainly the only person who remembers its genesis. :-)Bob"Life is short and (insert adjective)" 19:46, 15 January 2024 (UTC)