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| 15 | Aschlafly v. Public Schools, Round 4,972: When confronted by a few users attempting to clarify that public schools do have Zero Tolerance for "deceit", Schlafably attempts to defend his position otherwise by using all sorts of silly denial and spin. |
| 8 | Jacksmith: You can't equivocate [sic] abortion to infanticide. Bugler: we don't tolerate supporters of infanticide here mister. Andy: We don't censor here. DeanS: That essay is inappropriate |
| -5 | LearnTogether brings us another conservative insight - American Indians have a historic problem laying off the firewater. |
| 20 | Obama's SOUL is at the controls and is going warp speed. You don't even want to know what the corporeal part of him is doing. And Chicago has, like, OMG, 50 mosques! |
| 2 | It took over a year and two months for SharonS's talk page to become unlocked. To follow the lulz memory trail, this link shows Andy stating "one's talk page is his castle" while he removes edits. |
| 26 | RationalWiki: Possessed by vile spirits and sowing seeds of wickedness all over town |
| 6 | A bold embrace of new technology to empower regular people with knowledge straight from the source? Nope, just a silly stunt. |
| 13 | Desperate to control and silence the possibly feminist message of Eowyn, Lady of Rohan, in Lord of the Rings, Ed removes tell of her deeds, then misunderstands it and takes it as an excuse to block/whitewash. Appreciating literature: ur doin it wrong. Ed read LOTR 8 times. And brags about it. It explains so much. |
| 15 | The truth? It is silly. (UPDATE: the entire page history was nuked by Andy. This must have been very silly indeed.) |
| 7 | At this point, it's impossible to tell whether Croco is just an idiot or an asshole: Even liberals can sign up for the News Wikiproject now... but of course, they will still be ignored and banned from the project if they dare to suggest news that don't bash liberals or praise conservatives. |
Missing poll id Hey Croc, don't expect a timely answer.
| 40 | Despite the photographic evidence and first person accounts, Andy refuses to fall for Barack Obama's "birth certificate." He's right. With the official number blocked out, that could be any Barack Hussein Obama II born in Honolulu at 7:24pm August 4, 1961 to Ann Dunham (Caucasian) and Barack Hussein Obama (African). UPDATE But now there's a picture with the number. Wriggle, Andy, wriggle. UPDATE WITH EXTRA NUTS Apparently Jpatt (with Andy's approval) thinks this nutbar is more credible because he filed a bullshit lawsuit. Is there an Obama Derangement Syndrome yet? Andy could be the poster child. EXTRA CASHEWS AND PECANS: Wingnuttery hits a new high! And continues to climb! Update: Ignoring the nutjob constitutes liberal bias of course, they should be like us and only ignore things that don't help propagate our agenda, such as plane crashes. |
| 7 | When all those sissy MSM are still waiting for an announcement, Conservapedia can guarantee you that the Democratic VP candidate will be Evan Bayh. Bayh was picked because of his support of abortion and that's it. We know this is true, our source is the always reliable Drudge Report. Ok, maybe he won't be the candidate, but it's only because the Democrats can't win his home state Update: And it was most likely the fault of the Obama campaign, anyway. |
| 16 | Shorter Conservative: You're totally pwning me, so I'll fail basic reading comprehension and ask you to prove something you never said or meant, hoping you don't notice I ignored the rest. That'll make me look smart, right? |
| 9 | The leader is being obliterated in open debate by a Negro no less...... Let's ban him quick before any more damage is done. |
| 12 | Ding! Ding! Ding! Seconds out! PJR squares up to Andy again. Update PJR strikes another blow. And another. |
| 8 | C'mon Deborah, as if anyone on CP will look up this term. |
| 6 | Corry obviously hasn't been around too long. This is something we frequently wonder. |
| 7 | Oh Alas, why do I even bother debating with you if you don't even believe in classroom prayer? |
| 11 | In perhaps the biggest WTF moment of his career as CP's biggest idiot, Ed Poor advocates banning people who make ideologically conservative edits. Ed, you can start with yourself, and then have a chat with the guys who wrote this. |
| 18 | Bugler on atheists: "there will be no witch-hunt - what I am proposing is a selective cull". |
| 8 | That's right, from now on contributing to a mathematics article with something Ed doesn't understand makes you a parodist. UPDATE:This is what Ed thinks is a complete article on a maths topic. |
| 0 | You just can't get any more concise than that. |
| 12 | Resident dickhead and certified bucket loader Ed Poor is on an asshole spree tonight. Blocking PhineasBogg for inserting true information 8 months ago, Jaguar for asking sensible questions on a talk page and a bogus 90/10, and Foxtrot for knowing more about math than him (which should earn a ban for everyone on CP). "Math teacher", sure Ed. A real math teacher would have the most basic understanding of ratios. Like, say, a 90/10 ratio? |
| 18 | RW Conspiracy theory of the day: Did Andy buy up stock in Irony Meter repair companies before posting this? |
| 6 | Crocoite: "Have you reviewed my News Guidelines? Post here if you have comments or suggestions! ... Except for you, you evil liberal who dares to suggest that our headlines should reflect what the cited articles actually say!" |
| 10 | Andy's newest example of Liberal Bias: Refusing to join me in tangential Obama-bashing. Refusing to admit the truth in debate. Update: This will not end well. |
| 18 | Apparently, 3/4 of Americans believe they have the right to demand divine intervention from their doctors. |
| 25 | Bugler just took a big step towards becoming the next TK. Or getting banned as a parodist. Update Mr Klein (who he) extends the proposed ban. Oops! It'd kick Bungler off. |
| 24 | Regional brownouts are reported as Andy's new essay on Teaching Closed-Mindedness shorts out irony meters nationwide. (RW takedown in progress here.) |
| 2 | Obama's latest platform: "Evil infanticide" (as opposed to the plethora of "non-evil infanticide") |
| 17 | The battle rages on with PJR starting to lose his cool. Will Aschlafly lay down or banhammer PJR? Even big brother RSchlafly throws his weight in. |
| 4 | This will end in tears. And a banhammering no doubt. (It's been deleted, of course.) |
| 6 | Ed Poor suspects sabotage... when there is none. |
| 5 | Andy adds a touching story to the "Conservative Parables" entry... and of course has to ruin it by adding the mandatory "LIBERALS SUCK! GO TO HELL, YOU STUPID LIBERALS!" reminder at the end, alleging that they never gave him the recognition he deserved, in spite of the fact that they gave him a freakin' Nobel Prize (the most liberal of the liberal awards). But this allegation of his lack of recognition has a source: a paper by Andrew Schlafly esq. |
| 5 | Saying that you're an atheist now counts as vandalism and gets you a five-year ban. (And no, he didn't have any other contribs and the deletion log also doesn't show anything.) Someone has confronted Andy about it, so we await the inevitable backpedaling with bated breath. Update:GASP! A rare sighting---an Aschlafly apology, long thought extinct. Update again: Ed Poor chimes in to suggest that the block was a result of Krazorian not using his real name. Uh, okay. |
| 1 | Someone's been resetting passwords for accounts over at CP, and not for the first time either. CP has cottoned onto the attack but further discussion is unlikely to be public, except for those older users that are coming back to report the password reset. (one user came back to leave a message on the anonymous IP's talk page (now deleted), and was banned for five years for using the word "asshat") All 22000 accounts have been affected. UPDATE: Jinx, in his own paranoid world swears that evil visiters from another dangerous vandal site are responsible. might wanna screenshot some of these before they get vaped) |
| 12 | Jinx proves Poe's law: if those on site can't be sure and need a banner to tell them, then how the hell are visitors supposed to know? It's just begging to be abused too, so it's probably destined for a brief (but high-lulz) life.(copied here for safety (it's bound to be vaped?)) Further Andy concurs that the words "possible" and "believed" are valid for disputing Poe's law. Surely, if the incisive legal mind of A Schlafly isn't capable of deciding if something is parody or not then it can't be ... or can it? |
| 4 | Well that sorts out the problem of God. Help! Translation please! |
| 4 | How pathetic is America's Olympic team? Why it's on the verge of destruction; Title IX and the evil liberals are all to blame. Of course it doesn't matter that the Americans have been on top of the medal count during the last three Olympics. Incredibly, Schlafly bases his argument on the first five days of competition from the 2008 games and anecdotal evidence of alleged Title IX interference. How dare those female athletes actually presume to be treated fairly. Guess he thinks they ought to be barefoot and pregnant. |
| 1 | Globing warming is a hoax, and we have the video to prove it. It features in depth interviews with over 100 respected scientists... Would you believe 50 respected scientists?... Would you believe 2 respected scientists, two guys no one has ever heard of and Andy's mother?for extra lulz, read the article and note how much it sounds like an infomercial |
| 3 | Jewelery store owner shoots some robbers repeatedly with a semiautomatic pistol and lands two of them in the hospital in critical condition! Whoohoo! That'll show those liberal gun control advocates! Naturally, a small gun debate has erupted which will probably wind up with a couple of bans and a Godspeed. |
| 1 | Uh, Koward, you'd better rephrase that, and quick, before Andy sees you endorsing Vikings in North America. Gotta slavishly follow Andy's ravings stick to The Truth, y'know. |
| 5 | Ah goody! Another excellent mostly humourous instrument of reading from the "mind" of Aschlafly. We await the expansion of this gem with antici......................... pation. |
| 4 | Well, now, that explains a lot--When Harvard-Law-educated Andy is asked a life-and-death legal question, he opines that the answer is best found on the boob tube. |
| 5 | Classic Assfly debating technique: You make an excellent point that I can in no way rebut, so I'll use big words and asinine comparisons to try and stop the debate in its tracks. |
| 25 | Andy hits a new low. Obama cannot be a Christian because he has a Very Bad name. |
| 2 | Interesting choice, actually: Maybe it really is better to study US History without a textbook instead of using one Andy recommends... |
| 10 | Mysteries of American History #22: Why would any parent pay good money to have the author of an essay like this or a lecture like this teach their kids American History? |
| 2 | Don't look now, but personal e-mails are once again used as sources. For bonus Lulz, check out the edit summary... Yes, "pay" is an irregular verb, but not that irregular. Extra extra bonus: Lolwut under the "See Also" section. |
| 2 | CP welcomes edits more than RW, even essay pages are free for all to edit. The irony meter is now completely broken, and has asked to be relieved of duty. |
| 2 | Andy, despite his lifelong quest for knowledge, doesn't seem to know that A, polling data is simply gathered opinion, and B, that no polling data could possibly exist for his racist attacks. Oh, and someone should point out to Andy that the statement in question was added by a parodist. |
| 6 | Andy offers some advice on how to get attention which, funnily enough, does not include riding mommys coat-tails or creating your own encyclo-blog |
| 6 | You knew it would happen sooner or later. Ed Poor, recipient of many "biggest idiot on CP" awards, has now been bested, humiliated, and pwned by a "childrens' dictionary" aimed at 10-year-olds! See this and the bottom of this. Update: Edit war and a one-day block Hi Jinx! for reverting pointless censorship of an on-topic post. |
| 34 | Ladies and gentlemen, behold the newest concept from the brilliant mind of Andrew Layton Schlafly: The Invisible Hand of Marriage. Mwahahahaha!!!! Update: Sorry, it doesn't work for gay people. Gays will suffer from unproductive activity, anxiety and depression. On the upside, though, they will also enjoy "addition", and is a recipe for "the enormously beneficial checks and balances provided by traditional marriage." Perhaps you should read your entries before submitting them, Assfly! Also, note that at the bottom of the page, he proudly claims that the Invisible Hand is his own concept- and that it brought up no links on google before he came up with it. Well guess what, now it brings up one link- this page!<nowiki> |
| 8 | Also funny, is when you try and make fun of someone making fun of someone else, and you forget the preview button, so have to fix it and fix it again. Hey Mr. J. Inxmchue! He clearly missed the CP guideline stating that you can't use your page to ridicule other users. Update: What, correcting your typos within seconds? Oh no you didn't. Moar: In a moment of true WTF, Kara also doesn't allow corrections! But in the end, Jinx simply settles on taunting a banned user's spelling in public. WTF? If Mr. Jinxmchu E. wasn't making fun of the other user's intellectual capability, what WAS he doing, LT?THE END: Andy finally notices Jinx comes off as an idiot and deletes the entire thread |
| 1 | Oh, Jinxie. He mentions us, but a few users tell him not to talk about us. The best, most logical response is to blame them instead, and of course not to remove his own mention of us in the first place. Bravo! BrianCo memory-holes the section with full honor and respect (see edit summary). |
| -5 | Exactly, Carriagepoo. James Cook and Horatio Nelson were obviously rabbits. |
| 9 | Ok, what is the Harvard-educated son of filthy rich Conservatives doing calling anything elitist? |
| 7 | Hey Andy, a quick question: What on earth are you babbling about? Extra points for misogyny! |
| 2 | You can say what you want about Ed's silly Writing Assignments, but they are still better than those Karajou dishes out in discussions. |
| 26 | Conservapedia's front page currently claims that it is a "liberal myth" that "the non-Christian Vikings (Leif Ericson) reached North America before the devoutly Christian Christopher Columbus did. This is yet another attempt to deny and downplay Christian achievement by distorting history." The first part of this statement is of course complete bunk, but the second sentence is absolutely true. What's more, there is a delightful irony in that it is Conservapedia itself that attempts to deny and downplay the achievement of the Christian Vikings by distorting history! Don't miss the wonderful debates on cp:Talk:Main_Page#Vikings_in_North_America, cp:Talk:Leif_Erikson and cp:Talk:American_History_Lecture_One as Andy once again falsifies history to fit his own agenda! |
| 3 | Andy welcomes a public debate with PZ Meyers, or "any evolutionist and/or atheist and/or liberal". Perhaps we can line up sponsorship by the makers of Excedrin and/or Advil. UPDATE: Andy is more than happy to debate, but he wants a security deposit first. WTF is this? A new apartment? |
| 6 | Master of debate, Conservative, once again flexes his formidable intellect |
| 9 | Conservapedia Commandments rule out "Rational Enquiry" as a cause of Atheism |
| 4 | More Conservapedia Math: If something can be used to prove absurdities (read: counter-intuitive theorems such as the Banach-Tarski paradox) then that means it is wrong. |
| 5 | Jinx finally comes to terms with something we have all known for some time now. Yes Jinx, you are a moron. Pwned by a vandal! |
| 2 | It's maybe easier to understand why some CP sysops don't trust public schools, and especially classes about scientific concepts, when you consider that Learn Together, for example, spent his science classes watching "Inherit the Wind" and apparently thinks that this is what "usually" happens in normal such classes. |
| 2 | You'd think that with the word "learn" in your username, you would've learned Conservapedia Commandment #5 ("Do not post personal opinion on an encyclopedia entry.") by now. |
| 29 | Yes, Kajagoogoo, trying to save electricity and water is EXACTLY like sending your parents to the concentration camps! This should make Godwin's AND Fox's heads explode.Update: Fox thinks "perhaps" it's overdramatic. |
| 20 | A user removes the "beliefs" section from "Young Mass Murderers." Andy "reverts" the user, conveniently removing killers who stole legally purchased firearms, and a killer who was motivated by hatred of feminism. UPDATE: Andy re-removes the homeschooled/Christian killer and the fella who hated feminists for being "too old", yet keeps the older public-school dressed-in-black murderer. |
| 23 | A gunman who hates Christianity shoots up a Church. We'd better mention that he hates Christianity and ignore that the Church he shot up was Unitarian Universalist and may have been targeted for being liberal. Update: Andy removes the claim, yet conveniently leaves in the hearsay source that he hates Christians without the more up-to-date source about him hating liberals. |
| 3 | The Universe has decided that Jinx isn't annoying and disruptive enough yet, so it has arranged an encounter with his new mentor, the Grand Master of Disruption! |
| 7 | Yet more ignorance from the Great Educator - a "stunning defeat for the UK Labour party" in Glasgow East, yes, indeed it was. But if Andy had bothered to read the article he posted, he'd know that it was the Scottish National Party who won the seat, not the Conservatives, and so not only does it not signal a Conservative takeover of "all of Britain", it actually means the "all of Britain" thing is slightly more threatened, as the SNP want greater separation of powers from London government. |
| 13 | Foxy provides Merriam-Webster with the ultimate definition of bitch-slap. |
| 3 | Returning, head bowed, from earnest duties at WP, Ed Poor forgets to take off the Hat Of Reasonableness. |
| 5 | Does pro Christian mean anti Semitic? Fox has no doubts about the American Family Association. |
| 10 | Jinx finally discovers where we hang out and tells Andy he'll "keep an eye on us". I wonder who he thought Conservative was talking to.... |
| 30 | It's happening! Recently promoted sock JJacob picks his moment to come out of (not so) deep cover and tries to block all the sysops before they can get him! Go JJ! Don't forget anyone! Own the site! UPDATE: Oh well. Andy draws some moral conclusions from the rape of his site. |
| 2 | Evolutionists fear being bad defeated. Not badly defeated; bad defeated. Andy's qualifications as a teacher shine through once again. |
| 21 | This is well worth the inevitable perma-ban that's coming. UPDATE: Two permabans—PLB and MBishop, so far. Who's next? |
| 10 | What is going on at Conservapedia? Nothing is going on at Conservapedia! As, for the umpteenth time in the past few weeks, the site is inaccessible again. UPDATE: They're baaaaaack! |
| 2 | Jacques Derrida, founder of deconstruction, is so not notable that wikilinks to his (redlink) article will be removed. I guess that means that JM couldn't find a good source about him to copy-paste from... |
| 3 | Oh snap! CBS says that "Wikipedia Is A Stunning Example Of How The Propaganda Machine Works"! ...no, it doesn't. It just quoted and reprinted a National Review article in their Opinion section. Propaganda and deceit about an article about... propaganda and deceit. Lovely! |
| 17 | Greg tries to make nice with Andy; Andy calls Greg a liar, a moron, a cheat, and a liberal. |
| 9 | The Eagle Forum University links to CP and features courses Andy (who just happens to be the son of the Eagle Forum founder) also offered on CP. And yet, assuming (on a talk page) that the Eagle Forum somehow sponsors CP will get you a one-week block and some nice censorship |
| 3 | A user kindly points out that both WND and NRO have closed the door on this whole Barack may not be eligible to run thing... No doubt Assfly will change it right away, however, two weeks and three revisions later, it's still there and what did the helpful editor get for their trouble? Anybody wanna take a guess? |
| 8 | Karajou creates a Wikipedia account for the sole purpose of supporting Ed in his RFA. Sadly, he fools nobody and is blocked for being an SPA. Quote Karajou: Arggh, the irony is what really hurts matey. |