User:CircularReasoning/Fun:Cat (lolcat language)

KATS R CONSIDERD AN ESSENTIAL PART OV QUANTUM FYSICS.

Live, reproduce, die Biology

Life as we know it

Genetics Evolution Fundamental unit of life: The cell Zoology Botany

Divide and multiply

Ring species Homo ergaster Phylogenetics Hepatitis B Toxoplasma gondii

Great Apes

Linus Pauling Massimo Pigliucci Jonas Salk Desiree Jennings Frank Lewis Marsh v - t - e

“”One cat just leads to another.

—Ernest Hemingway

“”That cat’s something I can’t explain

—Pink Floyd “Lucifer Sam”

A KAT IZ CUTE DOMESTIC OR WILD ANIMAL OR, UNLES THEY REMAIN INDOORS AT ALL TIEMS, LIL UNHOLY WILDLIFE-DECIMATIN ABOMINASHUN DAT MAKEZ INSUFFERABLE NOISEZ (AN OFTEN ALSO SERVEZ AS GENERAL TURM 4 MEMBERS OV TEH PPLZ FELIDAE, WILD OR DOMESTICATD). UNLIKE DAWGS, KATS CAN 4 DA MOST PART TAEK CARE OV THEMSELVEZ.

KITTEHZ!

ABOOV: WILDCAT (FELIS SILVESTRIS), NOT DOMESTICATD KAT. (DO NOT PET.)

LARGELY OFFENSIV WEPON OV CLAW

“”OWNERS OV DAWGS WILL HAS NOTICD DAT, IF U PROVIDE THEM WIF FUD AN WATR AN SHELTR AN AFFECSHUN, THEY WILL FINKZ U R CEILIN CAT. WHEREAS OWNERS OV KATS R COMPELLD 2 REALIZE DAT, IF U PROVIDE THEM WIF FUD AN WATR AN SHELTR AN AFFECSHUN, THEY DRAW TEH CONCLUSHUN DAT THEY R GODZ.

—Christopher Hitchens, TEH PORTABLE ATEIZT: ESSENTIAL READINGS 4 DA NONBELIEVR

A DOMESTIC KAT (FELIS KATUS OR FELIS SILVESTRIS KATUS, DEPENDIN ON WHOM U ASK) IZ MEMBR OV TEH FELIDAE, OR FELINE, PPLZ OV ANIMALS, READILY IDENTIFIABLE BY ITZ ADORABLENES, OTHR AFFILIATD QUIRKZ AN CHARMS, OR FRUM TEH RANCID BLOOD OV BABY CHICKADEEZ DAT CLINGS 2 ITZ FLEA-RIDDEN FUR. KAT IZ VISHUS EVIL MINI-LION DAT WILL RAEK ITZ CLAWS ACROS HOOMANZ FACE WHEN IT BEAN PETTD.[7] OTHR THAN DAT, TEH MAIN CONTRIBUSHUN KATS MAK 2 R LIVEZ IZ THEIR ABILITY 2 MOOV WIF SUPERNATURAL GRACE AN WHILE TEH OUTDOOR KATS EARN TEH WELL-DESERVD IRE OV NEW WORLDWIKIPEDIA ECOLOGISTS AN DOSE HOO DOAN WANTS 2 LISTEN 2 2 UNPLEASANT MOANIN KATS IN DA MIDDLE OV TEH NITE. WER DAWG WUD RUN THRU FLOWR PATCH, STEPPIN RANDOMLY ON EVRY FLOWR ON TEH WAI, FELINEZ R AWARE OV WER THEY PLACE THEIR FEET AT EVRY STEP, THEIR BAK FOOT GOIN IN DA EGSAKT SAME SPOT AS TEH FRUNT FOOT. KAT CAN JUMP 4 FEET UP ONTO MANTLEPIECE COVERD WIF FRAGILE KNICKNACKZ, AN NOT KNOCK OVAR SINGLE WAN. UNLES THEY WANTS 2. IT SHUD BE NOTD DAT KAT APPARENTLY DERIVEZ GREAT PLEASURE FRUM GENTLY PUSHIN THINGS (TEH MOAR FRAGILE/BREAKABLE TEH BETTR) OFF SURFACEZ 2 TEH FLOOR BELOW AN DEN MAINTAININ LOOK OV INJURD INNOCENCE. KATS R (USUALLY) TEH NACHURAL ENEMIEZ OV ALL OTHR SMALLR LIFE FORMS AN DELIGHT IN TORTURIN SMALLR BEASTS BY KILLIN THEM SLOWLY. EXAMPLEZ INCLUDE MICE, RATS, OR, IF TEH KAT IZ EXCEPSHUNALLY LUCKY, LONG-EARD JERBOA. TEH ONLY ANIMAL SMALLR THAN KAT DAT TEH KAT DOEZ NOT DO SUCH 2 IZ SMALLR DAWG, TEH SMALLEST DAWGS (USUALLY TERRIR BREEDZ) DAT TEH KAT MITE TREAT AS IF FELLOW KAT. HOWEVR, KAT CUD BE ABLE 2 SUPPRES DIS INSTINCT IF RAISD WIF TEH ANIMAL, ALTHOUGH THARS NO TELLIN WHEN IT WILL ATTACK OTHR ANIMALS (4 EXAMPLE, KAT HOO GREW UP WIF MICE CUD BE WILLIN 2 SLAUGHTR HAMHAMS). TEH MERE FACT DAT AN ANIMAL IZ LARGR THAN ANY PARTICULAR KAT IZ NO GUARANTEE DAT IT WILL BE SAFE FRUM ATTACK. HUMANZ CAN SATISFY DIS INSTINCT IN MOAR ENVIRONMENTALLY-ACCEPTABLE MANNR BY CASTIN BALLS OV WOOL AN SMALL FLUFFY TOYS 4 THEM 2 PULAY WIF. IT SHUD BE NOTD HOWEVR DAT KAT WILL PREFR 2 PULAY WIF BALL OV WOOL WHICH IZ IN USE RATHR THAN WAN WHICH HAS BEEN PROVIDD 4 DA PURPOSE.

KATS CARRY IN THEIR LIL HEADZ DETAILD MENTAL MAP OV EVRY PLACE THEY FREQUENT, AN R VISIBLY STARTLD WHEN NEW OBJECT APPEARS - ESPECIALLY IF IT ANOTHR KAT OR PERSON SCREAMIN AN RUNNIN 2 HAS IT GIT TEH OFF DA YARD. DIS BEAN RATHR EFFECTIV ADAPTASHUN 4 RELATIVELY SMALL ANIMAL DAT MUST CONTEND WIF SUM MUTCH LARGR PREDATORS INCLUDIN COYOTEZ AN OWLS (NEITHR WHICH HAS DECIMATD WILDLIFE ON TEH SAME DEGREE KATS HAS DUN), KATS WILL OFTEN EXPLORE WHATEVR ADDISHUNS OR ALTERASHUNS THEY FIND 2 ENSURE THEIR AWARENES OV ANY AN ALL GAPS THEY CUD HIDE IN, AN WHETHR OR NOT SUCH GAPS CAN BE USD 4 AMBUSH PURPOSEZ.

KATS R AN INTERESTIN QUIRK OV EVOLUSHUN - AT AN EARLY POINT IN HOOMAN HISTORY (ROUGHLY 12,000 YEERS AGO) WILDCATSWIKIPEDIA (FELIS SILVESTRIS) BEGAN 2 LIV NEAR SETTLD HUMANZ, AN BY THEIR RELIANCE ON EARLY HOOMAN TRIBEZ, DECIDD 2 DOMESTICATE HOOMANZ WHILE MAKIN THEM FINKZ DAT KATS LET THEMSELVEZ BE DOMESTICATD, AN DEVELOPD TRAITS 2 AID IN THEIR NEWFOUND LIFE. AS MENSHUND IN DA CAPSHUN, TEH FURRY MAMMAL IN DA TOP PICCHUR OV TEH 2 IN DIS SECSHUN IZ WILDCAT AN NOT DOMESTICATD KAT (THOUGH THEY DO HAS SIMILAR APPEARANCE 2 DOMESTICATD KATS), SO PETTIN IT NOT GUD IDEA. WILDCATS R CLOSE RELATIVEZ OV TEH DOMESTICATD KAT AN TEH LATTR IZ GENERALLY CONSIDERD 2 BE SUBSPECIEZ OV TEH FORMR BY BIOLOGISTS HOO DO NOT CONSIDR TEH 2 2 BE SEPARATE SPECIEZ (BIOLOGISTS DAT DO CLASIFY THEM AS SEPARATE SPECIEZ REFR 2 THEM AS FELIS KATUS; BIOLOGISTS HOO DOAN USE FELIS SILVESTRIS KATUS). IT BELIEVD KATS WUZ ACCEPTD BY PEEPS AFTR COMMUNITIEZ STARTD 2 STORE SURPLUS GRAIN AN OTHR FUD PRODUCTS, WHICH ATTRACTD TEH RODENTS DAT KATS SO SKILLFULLY HUNT AN KILL, MAKIN KATS USEFUL 2 HAS AROUND—ESPECIALLY SINCE, BEAN OBLIGATORY CARNIVOREZ, TEH KITTEHS WOULDNT TURN AROUND AN EAT TEH GRAIN THEMSELVEZ.