Fun:Erectile dysfunction

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Votive offerings were given to the gods either in the hope of a cure or as thanks for one and were made in the shape of the afflicted body part. The votive marble penis and testicles may have been given in thanks for a cure for impotence or infertility.

Having a short penis, a.k.a. erectile dysfunction is a condition affecting old, white men, among others. It is the reason why annoying commercials advertising Viagra, Cialis, and various male enhancement quacks flood almost every advertising medium.

Compensating for a short penis[edit]

My, that's a big package you've got there!

As an alternative to penis enlargement, some people choose to compensate with more manly behavior, or purchasing more manly things. While this does absolutely nothing to improve the size or performance of a man's sexual organs, it does generally manage to give one the notoriety of being one massive dick, or a dick head. Here are some examples of attempts to compensate for a small penis:

  • Being abusive to women
  • Being mean to a minor under 18, if the minor has not done something to deserve it.
  • Being mean to a cheerleader under almost any circumstance
  • Being mean to anyone else just to show how aggressive you are
  • Purchasing really, really big trucks or SUVs
  • Rolling coal
  • Purchasing really, really gas-guzzling sports cars
  • Purchasing lots of long, hard, manly guns
  • Purchasing a big ass dog for the wrong reasons
  • Joining the military for the wrong reasons
  • Voting for Donald Trump for the wrong reasons
  • Being a heavy handed asshole as a sysop on wiki
  • Vandalizing Wikipedia
  • Engaging in, or supporting, police brutality
  • Being a racist or attending a Ku Klux Klan rally
  • Being a jerk to clerks, waitresses, cafeteria servers, teachers, healthcare workers, sales people (if one solicited goods or services from them), police officers who aren't corrupt, taxi/bus drivers, pastors (excluding unsolicited Mormons or Jehovah's Witnesses), government workers, and other service industry workers
  • Being a bully
  • Stealing a little kid's lunch money
  • Shoplifting stupid crap from Wal-Mart or Target
  • Committing or threatening rape, or making gratuitous rape jokes
  • Spreading rumors
  • Engaging in road rage
  • Engaging in protests for moronic causes
  • Destroying the property of others
  • Going on massive killing sprees on Grand Theft Auto
  • Registering as a Republican
  • Registering as a Democrat
  • Filing frivolous lawsuits
  • Participating in fantasy football
  • Watching wrestling or NASCAR on TV
  • Becoming a member of ISIS, supporting Sharia law, or otherwise endorsing radical Islam
  • Creating a YouTube channel to propagate conspiracy theories
  • Wrongfully firing or laying off employees
  • Engaging in animal cruelty
  • Playing the knockout game
  • Being part of Gamergate

List of famous people who may have ED[edit]

While few people actually know the penis sizes of the following people, their actions seem to indicate a need to compensate for something:

See also[edit]