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I would do it in a boat,
I would do it with a

Icon goat.svg
Shall I compare thee
to a summer's day?
Wigocp.svg This Conservapedia-related article is of largely historical interest and is no longer the focus of RationalWiki today.
Conservapedia (and religious fundamentalism to an extent) was a major focal point in the early history of RationalWiki, but long ago ceased coming up with new ways to appall and amuse.
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Goatspeed was a neologism used pretty much just here on TrashionalWiki.

It is a grotesque mockery of Andrew Schlafly's oversuse of "godspeed" on his blog, conswerapidiot goes public.

Goatspeed lies somewhere between light speed and heavy speed.

When a RatWiki editor signs off with it, it can have several meanings, depending on context:

  • "Go fuck yourself!"
  • "May the way of the goat carry you forward, friend."
  • "I just channeled teh Assfly by accident, sorry, ktxbai."
  • "Have you tried our wonderful goat pilaf?"
  • "Man, them goats sure is tasty! Got a billy I can milk?"