Goldman Sachs

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Mind your own
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"You're fired!"
We are pleased to put these legacy matters behind us. Since the financial crisis, we have taken significant steps to strengthen our culture...
—Goldman's "apology"[1]
Goldman should just get it over with and rename itself House Lannister.
Matt Taibbi, 1.4.17 Tweet.

Goldman Sachs is a great vampire squid wrapped around the face of humanity, relentlessly jamming its blood funnel into anything that smells like money major American investment bank, i.e. the group who maintains that curing disease is bad for business and multiple doctor visits is better for cashflow than one-stop fixes.[2]

The bank's foundersWikipedia were Jews and with the decline of the Rothschilds, Goldman Sachs has become the go-to dog whistle for "Jewish banking" conspiracy theorists. This is a problem when Goldman Sachs actually does something wrong. As a major investment bank involved in many business deals with oodles upon oodles of dollars on the table, backdoor deals and corruption are a risk. But whether Goldman Sachs is exceptionally corrupt or if they just do what all the other investment banks do becomes unclear as the actual criticisms can be lost in all the bullshit.

Goldman created what became the benchmark index for global commodity prices, and its speculation in commodities markets is often blamed for the world food shortage of 2008,[3][4] but this is disputed by the OECD.[5] Maybe it had to do with skyrocketing oil prices, the collapse of the dollar, increased population, subsidies for ethanol, increased meat consumption, and bad weather?

It was among the first banking organizations to get involved with IPOs, the first being Sears, Roebuck & Co (now just "Sears") in 1906,[6] and was a major force in the Mergers and Acquisitions of the 1980's (for whatever that's worth).[7] Both of these were initially "beneath" more "respectable" members of society, i.e. WASPs, until they caught wind of just how much fucking money was involved. If there's a reason "da Joos" dominated these fields, it's because they were in these fields from the start.

A number of Goldman Sachs executives have found their way into senior US government positions giving rise to a pernicious revolving door[8] and the coining of the phrase Government Sachs. That this has been more than coincidence is given credence by the payment of bonuses to executives who leave and take up such positions. Again, the firm is by no means unique amongst major banks in this respect, but the fact that high-profile examples like Hank Paulson, Joshua Bolten, and Stephen Freidman all hailed from Goldman Sachs is both disturbing and keeps the unwarranted conspiracy theories spinning.[9][10]

There has been a host of "those bankers are just too damn tricky" allegations leveled at Goldman Sachs. A notable example is its role in helping Greece use clever accounting to hide its debt and "enabling politicians to mask borrowings", as Goldman managing director Gerald Corrigan has admitted. This allowed Greece to conceal some of its debt and a number of investigations were launched into Goldman's behavior, but it has been pointed out that it acted within the rules at the time. Mr Corrigan said the bank could have been more honest "transparent".[11]

Of course, then there's the inevitable batshit conspiracy theories. Goldman Sachs comes up almost as often as the Rothschilds in the more laughable corners of the interwebs in relation to Unified Conspiracy Theory, New World Order, Illuminati and, inevitably, the insane musings of David it's the Rothschild-Goldman Zionists Icke. Of course they do.

External links[edit]

Congress Takes Field Trip To Goldman Sachs To Learn How Laws Get Made - The Onion

See also[edit]

  • Steve Bannon — In an interview for a documentary highlighting the raw power of Goldman Sachs, Bannon (a former Goldman Sachs executive himself) said joining Goldman was "like joining the Jesuits."