RationalWiki:What is going on in the world?/May 2011

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May 2011[edit]

1

Shocker: TV Executives Admit That Hollywood Pushes a Liberal Agenda.

11

Hacking — the new act of war.

17

The Westboro Baptist Church meets the KKK and the universe collapses into a singularity of hate

34

Seismologists charged with manslaughter for failing to predict earthquake.

12

Gil Scott-Heron: 1949-2011

27

May 26, 2011: Ratko Mladić, the ethnic Serbian military leader accused of being responsible for the murder of 8,000 Serbian Muslims at Srebrenica, the largest massacre since WW II, was arrested in Serbia after 16 years on the run. He will be extradited to the Hague to stand trial for war crimes, crimes against humanity, and genocide.

17

A priest working under the Vatican's special advisor on pedophilia: "I do not want 16-year-old boys but younger. Fourteen-year-olds are O.K. Look for needy boys who have family issues." allegedly.

31

Single-payer health care plan becomes law in Vermont.

17

Sarah Palin, known for her difficulties telling different countries and U.S. states apart, is now launching a bus tour with the aim of grandstanding "educating Americans about our nation's founding principles."

17

Michael Bloomberg calls for legalization of gay marriage.

8

Ladies and gentlemen, may we introduce to you the escape hatch!

10

Guess who's fear-mongering about terrorism now? (Hint: It's Harry Reid)

12

Something to look forward to: "Glenn Beck Planning Web TV Channel GBTV, Tagline: ‘The Truth Lives Here’"

18

Rand Paul, in stopped clock mode, is holding a filibuster to try and force expiration of the Patriot Act, gaining supporters on both sides of the aisle.

15

The Ryan budget dies in the Senate: Five GOP Senators vote against it.

9

Egypt's top prosecutor is going after Mubarak.

9

Teabaggers: We need Skousen-approved curriculum on the Constitution.

15

Atheists have best sex lives.

6

Pssst! Mr. President, it's 2011.

8

Cameron & co go anti-abort: by inviting " pro-abstinence charity Life to key sexual health forum, while omitting British Pregnancy Advisory Service".

10

These little guys will grow up to be our ruthless overlords, but dang it, they're so cute...

36

WBC gets trolled: A comedian makes a $50,000 donation to a gay charity in their name.

37

Did I say May 21st? My bad. I meant October 21st.

7

Nudist company hiring people willing to work in the nude. "Currently looking for a partner, sales manager (preferably female), salespeople (men and women), and web-coders (girls only).".

18

Stupid woman, you need to PLAN ON GETTING RAPED

24

Minnesota fundamentalists and Catholics alike celebrate their legislature "protecting" "traditional marriage" by passing a law putting a constitutional amendment banning gay marriage to the vote on the 2012 ballot. This isn't open political gamesmanship or bigotry laid bare. This is good old-fashioned Christian values at work. Motherfuckers.

10

The hangover from the failed rapture prediction begins

21

Camping still "missing" as world offers support to his dazed followers.

13

It's not Eyjafjallajökull. TV journalists heave a sigh of relief.

9

"Los Indignados" protests sweep through Spain.

9

Some background on Israel's borders.

10

Beware! The light bulb Gestapo is coming for you!

10

A bomb thought to be the work of Irish Republicans has exploded in the city centre of Londonderry, Northern Ireland. No one has been injured.

16

Catholic priest served on board of an organisation that "campaigns to end the Dutch ban on adult-child sex."

10

Pope calling Space Station, Pope calling Space Station, come in Space Station...

49

May 21st came and went to a noticeable lack of Apocalypse.

10

Amazon tribe lack the concepts of "time" mapping to "space" (one event being "ahead" of another) - once thought to be universal. (Except this claim was already made about the Hopi Language, and was debunked by Noam Chomsky himself.)

4

German TV reveals the identity of Bin Laden's killer.

7

Lupron-injecting autism quack Mark Geier and his unlicensed son David Geier face professional and legal charges at last.

26

The Catholic Church -- the American branch, that is -- has released the results of its five-year investigation into the priest child sex abuse scandal. And what a relief!!! They found the culprit!!! IT WUZ TEH HIPPIES!!!!! (Oh, and the fact that priests are an all-male bunch of cloistered celibates isn't a factor in the matter.)

7

Barack Obama: The border fence is now "basically complete!" (If by fence you mean posts in the ground.)

4

Quick, bid on the Unabomber's old junk online!

9

The US imposes sanctions on Syria's Assad.

14

The Fourth Amendment's not here, man

12

Finish the dang fence...whoops, we put the dang fence through our own town!

19

Terrence O'Brien, president of Chicago's Metropolitan Water Reclamation District claims that by not removing the tons of untreated human waste from the Chicago River, he's saving lives: If the river were cleaned, people would swim in it and then they might drown. You don't want children to drown, do you?

15

In Conservapedian reality, Arnold Schwarzenegger and Maria Shriver broke up because he should have married a conservative rather than a liberalimg. Back in that pesky real reality, it's actually down to yet another Republican politician who can't keep his dick in his pants.

18

Are you soon to be Raptured? Have you thought about what may happen to your beloved cat when you're no longer here? Then worry no more, After The Rapture Pet Care will take care of your kitteh for the low, low, one-off fee of $10! Don't delay, sign up today!

22

Stephen H tells it like it is: "Heaven is a fairy story."

19

Donald Trump announces that he won't run for president. Could this be because of NBC's ultimatum to him that they would say "you're fired" to him if he did run? In an obviously unrelated story, NBC announced a few hours earlier the renewal of The Celebrity Apprentice with or without The Donald.

22

First openly gay candidate wins in Japanese election.

33

Ron Paul again states he would have voted against the civil rights act. When asked about the racism present at that time Ron states that it's ancient history, with the irony being that it's ancient history because of the civil rights act.

-7

In what is perhaps the biggest news story of the last two months , Sony relaunches the Playstation Network.

14

Tired of screwing over countries, the head of the IMF allegedly screws his maid instead.

8

Pop singer "Sweet Micky" Martelly — president of Haiti

6

Moammar Gaddafi: "You can't get me!" (It's unknown if his next words were "Nanny nanny poo poo.")

12

Rand Paul: Universal health care is slavery! (No word if he is "enslaved" by all that Medicare money.)

16

A man in West Virginia was found by the police in a bedroom, dressed in a bra and panties, standing over the neighbours goat. The goat had "at least one stab wound".

9

The UK's shiny new aircraft carrier will spend its first three operational years with no aircraft.

10

Osama also had the same kind of secret files on his computer that we do.

6

Not content with owning the George Mason University econ department, the Koch brothers buy some Florida State professors.

10

The hacking spree continues, this time hitting Square Enix and stealing emails and resumes.

6

An eye for an eye... literally.

13

Teen challenges Michele Bachmann to a history debate.

8

Fukushima is still not fully stable.

12

Donald Trump rented his name to apartment complexes and then got out of Dodge when the projects imploded financially. Who coulda known?

7

Climate Scientists get REAL.

32

In Minnesota, while debating a lovely measure to liberate the poor from liberal nanny-statism, a state senator suggests that state legislators try the measure personally before imposing it on the poor. She is greeted with stunned silence.

17

Barack Obama: We doubled our exports during my administration! (If by double you mean increase by approx. 33%)

8

Los Alamitos will teach the controversy... over global warming.

12

Mike Huckabee is creating a childrens show, here is their first video: [1]

17

In a move that even Puritans might think goes too far, the Florida Senate bans sex with any other human being. Brings a whole new meaning to "freshly-squeezed Florida oranges".

5

S&P downgrades Greece's credit rating as the country goes on strike.

7

The Rajaratnam verdict comes in: Guilty.

11

Citizens of Rome flee the city to dodge an earthquake predicted several decades ago, or was it? The very people who hold the documents of the late predictor say no such prediction was made.

18

Teabagger leader: You get the gays out of the military and we'll give you the debt ceiling.

13

Republicans discover the obvious: Gutting Medicare is not such a good move.

7

Terrible, terrible people hacked the poor Fox web site. I'm soooo thankful no one here thought of doing that.

9

Northwestern University cancels the best Human Sexuality class ever.

13

Simpsons voice actress Nancy Cartwright is attempting to peddle Scientology in Illinois public schools.

13

Fed up with conservatives in Arizona, the liberals of Pima County want to split and form the state of Baja Arizona.

7

Mexicans protest Felipe Calderon's war on drugs.

9

Irony alert: John Ashcroft is Blackwater's new ethics chief

upneutraldown
0Homosexual men more likely to have had cancer, says one study, although "The survey interviews "survivors" so is not a true representation of the number of cancer cases."

6

Time for another bailout of Greece?

23

A Hasidic paper refuses to print pictures of women, so it shops Hillary Clinton out of the situation room. Why aren't the conservatives protesting about creeping Halakha law?

15

After big successes in the USA and Canada, the sluts march into London.

15

The Pacific island nation of Samoa time travels into the future

17

Despite all the conspiracy theories, nearly two-thirds of people back the decision not to release pictures of Osama Bin Laden.

12

In a Twitter protest against the "Super Injunctions" issued so liberally by British courts, a user publishes details of what he claims are six of them.

14

Fed up with your theology major? Pitzer College in California Adds Major in Secularism

23

Some high-school students, being dismayed at the impending change in status for some classes that taught them "how to take part in a democratic pro­cess," display precisely how well they absorbed that knowledge by storming a school board meeting and declaring themselves the new school board.

7

The fellows that Joe Arpaio employs to do his job while he is out grandstanding are now resigning amidst a bevy of corruption charges.

8

The Galleon Group case (the biggest probe of hedge fund insider trading in history) resumes as jurors reconvene to deliberate the verdict on Raj Rajaratnam. The market is betting heavily against him.

30

A Delta Air Lines pilot creates his own personal no-fly list because he doesn't like people wearing "traditional Indian clothing" or "Arab garb". UPDATE To double-down on the irony, the pair were on their way to a conference that intended to discuss prejudice against Muslims.

8

Whoops. Academic experts for hire were Libyan PR agents.

17

The GOP agenda is "Jobs, jobs, jobs," right? Well, shit ain't gonna pass the Senate so it's time to throw more red meat to the wingnut base, like passing H.R. 3, the "No Taxpayer Funding for Abortion" bill

15

The UK electorate rejects Alternative Vote in favour of continuing the First Past The Post system in a national referendum with an overwhelming 70% No to AV vote, proving once and for all that if you attack strawmen hard enough, people will not only begin to think they're the real thing, but will actually join in.

14

So you're a Religious Education teacher in an English High School. What better way to communicate the rich cultural heritage of the world's faiths than by getting drunk, taking your students to the pub and kissing one of them?

32

Al-Qaeda admits that Osama Bin Laden is dead.

9

Besides crushing the unions, what other pressing matters do Wisconsin's Republican legislators have to worry about? How about making the cream puff the state's official dessert.

14

Never forgive, never forget. China yet again asks Norway to apologise for that Nobel Prize. Let it go already... You won it fair and square.

11

Don't know how to spend your Cinco de Mayo? Join the crowd of chirping crickets at the first GOP debate between Herman Cain, Ron Paul, Tim Pawlenty, Gary Johnson, and Rick Santorum.

15

David Blunkett admits that the No to AV campaign did just pull "AV will cost £250 million" out of their arse.

21

Belief in "birtherism" plummets.

8

Fatah & Hamas: "Let's kiss and make up." Israel: "Fuck that!"

13

The battle over Benton Harbor, Michigan heats up as the city commission declares the takeover by the emergency financial manager unconstitutional.

13

The White House will not release the photos of bin Laden's corpse.

24

Following a complaint from a parent, a teacher is admonished for proselytizing in class. The difference is that it took place in the Bible Belt, and it was a Christian parent who complained.

36

For the first time in history, a rich guy got killed in a home invasion and Republicans didn't assume a black man was responsible.

12

Study finds that pundits' predictions are generally no better than coin-flips, but the perpetually "shrill" Paul Krugman comes out on top of the 26 in the study.

11

What led to the capture of Osama? (Hint: It wasn't going Jack Bauer on Khalid Shaikh Mohammed.)

13

bin Laden wasn't the biggest target; his computers were

8

Tornado causes deaths, damage... in Auckland?

9

A Fox Affiliate Station's News, in a fit of wishful thinking, declares President Obama dead. (Rumours Sean Hannity orgasmed are unsubstantiated.)

-5

Conservatives to form majority government in Canada; New Democrats trounce Liberals, become Official Opposition.

13

Study suggests politicians ignore black correspondents.

19

Things you don't expect to hear: Rush Limbaugh saying "Thank God for President Obama". In other news, bin Laden is finding Hell to be extremely cold. UPDATE: He was being sarcastic. He's an asshole for doing itand I'm an idiot for falling for it.

65

Osama bin Laden is dead. The US military has his body. Everything will be all right now, we can return to total worldwide peace. Maybe. (BTW, in a bit of no-doubt intentional irony, this news comes on the eighth anniversary of Dubya's so-called Mission Accomplished speech.)

50

Obama to Trump: Go fuck yourself. lol. (Seth Meyers, on the other hand doesn't pull any punches.)