Essay talk:American society's inevitable moral decay

Actually, I've got some good news for you. With modern advancements in science, sex is no longer necessary for procreation! A scientist can simply extract a sperm cell from a human male and an egg cell from a human female and let the two combine inside a test tube. Isn't that marvelous? :) 141.134.75.236 (talk) 03:58, 22 November 2014 (UTC)

Seems quite brilliant, really, and it should provide a beginning to the solution to the moral decay of America. Maybe then, we can move beyond that ungodly abomination. --Elvis is King (talk) 04:09, 22 November 2014 (UTC)

Wow, reading the stuff on demonic actions and need to get back to god...Haven't we progressed past the dark ages? Is this a Poe? Seriously. I've read more enlightened things from the 17th century. EmeraldCityWanderer (talk) 21:50, 26 November 2014 (UTC)

This was written by former Conservapedia sysop James Wilson. He hates video games, sex, bacon, and a bunch of other stuff. --Colonel Sanders (talk) 21:53, 26 November 2014 (UTC)

Putting between, sorry...hard to find a way to address both. Still, this is stuff that was ignorant centuries ago...people still can't believe this right? It's like a joke like Monty Python's Holy Grail? EmeraldCityWanderer (talk) 01:58, 27 November 2014 (UTC)

Are you calling God's truth obsolete? --Elvis is King (talk) 18:27, 27 November 2014 (UTC)

Nietzsche had that figured out in 1883. Ikanreed (talk) 16:40, 1 December 2014 (UTC)

What is GOOD about any of that stuff, and my writings are based upon the truth. --Elvis is King (talk) 22:04, 26 November 2014 (UTC)

What writings and what evidence of truth? EmeraldCityWanderer (talk) 01:58, 27 November 2014 (UTC)

My writings here and the fundamental truths they contain. --Elvis is King (talk) 18:27, 27 November 2014 (UTC)

Great, another person thinks they are the next mouthpiece of God. There's a way to sound sane. EmeraldCityWanderer (talk) 16:30, 1 December 2014 (UTC)

Hey, Colonel Sanders. I was struck by one thing on the EiK hate list you posted:

Hating bacon without (presumably) having the well-establish irrational explanation of religion (e.g. Judaism or Islam), a true sign of insantiy? ;-)

ScepticWombat (talk) 06:45, 3 December 2014 (UTC)

Wait, you like bacon? So you like hurting animals? Nullahnung (talk) 07:35, 3 December 2014 (UTC)

About just as much as vegetarians apparently hate plants so much they want to "over-consume" them, I guess ;-)

PS. On a more serious note, I'm not sure how many vegetarians actually "hate bacon" per se - they may not like the taste and/or despise the methods of stock raising and processing involved, but that's not what I meant by "hating bacon". ScepticWombat (talk) 08:36, 3 December 2014 (UTC)

I cri

The only thing decaying here is your ability to reason. If inevitable, why care; can't change it. The FCP Foundation (talk/stalk) 04:17, 27 November 2014 (UTC)

I am merely stating the truth. I want to fight against America's moral decay, and its overt displays of violence, sexuality, profanity, substance abuse, and other such iniquity that makes Sodom and Gomorrah look like holy places. --Elvis is King (talk) 18:27, 27 November 2014 (UTC)

Whad'ya think of the Rifleman (20 seconds)?
Talk to Civic Cat 18:36, 27 November 2014 (UTC)

The who? --Elvis is King (talk) 22:50, 30 November 2014 (UTC)

Brilliant satire

I could almost see a mindless asshole writing this with a few names swapped here and there at any point in history. Ikanreed (talk) 16:35, 1 December 2014 (UTC)

Every time I hear one of these "Oh, them good old days" tirades, I always think of two things.

First of my long-departed grandmother who gave me a healthy dose of scepticism towards such claims when I was a kid (she basically said those days were simply old, not particularly good).

Second, the fact that we can find even the ancient Romans and Greeks complaining about "Youth these days" and waxing nostalgic about the good old days before everything went up in decadence (e.g. when the good citizens ploughed the field themselves and hadn't gone soft, when people showed their elders the proper respect, and when our culture wasn't polluted by newfangled fads and youngsters showed proper moral decorum etc. etc. etc.).

Ah yes, the past is not what it used to be... ;-)

Of course, Terry Pratchett has already written some appropriate words to that effect:

The sun was near the horizon. The shortest-lived creatures on the Disc were mayflies, which barely make it through twenty-four hours. Two of the oldest zigzagged aimlessly over the waters of a trout stream, discussing history with some younger members of the evening hatching.

"You don't get the kind of sun now that you used to get," one of them said.

"You're right there. We had proper sun in the good old hours. It were all yellow. None of this red stuff.

"It were higher too."

"It was. You're right."

"And nymphs and larvae showed you a bit of respect."

"They did. They did," said the other mayfly vehemently.

"I reckon, if mayflies these hours behaved a bit better, we’d still be having proper sun."

The younger mayflies listened politely.

"I remember," said one of the oldest mayflies, "when all this was fields, as far as you could see."

The younger mayflies looked around.

"It’s still fields," one of them ventured, after a polite interval.

"I remember when it was better fields," said the old mayfly sharply.

"Yeah," said his colleague. "And there was a cow."

"That’s right! You’re right! I remember that cow! Stood right over there for, oh, forty, fifty minutes. It was brown, as I recall."

"You don’t get cows like that these hours." …

"What were we doing before we were talking about the sun?"

"Zigzagging aimlessly over the water," said one of the young flies. This was a fair bet in any case.

"No, before that."

"Er … you were telling us about the Great Trout."

"Ah. Yes. Right. The Trout. Well, you see, if you’ve been a good mayfly, zigzagging up and down properly—"

"—taking heed of your elders and betters—"

"—then eventually the Great Trout—"

Clop

Clop

"Yes?" said one of the younger mayflies.

There was no reply.

"The Great Trout what?" said another mayfly, nervously.

They looked down at a series of expanding concentric rings on the water.

"The holy sign!" said a mayfly. "I remember being told about that! A Great Circle in the water! Thus shall be the sign of the Great Trout!"

(From Reaper Man, 1991)

ScepticWombat (talk) 17:50, 1 December 2014 (UTC)

There was a day when God was in the public sphere, and people worshiped and pleased God. We didn't have all this openness about abominable practices, and everything wasn't a decadent sodomite free-for-all, and well, there was a time when America was a good place of morality, virtue, and freedom. Now it is an authoritarian regime where the liberal elites want to cram homosexuality, promiscuity, drug abuse, socialism, and atheism down our throats. --Elvis is King (talk) 03:19, 2 December 2014 (UTC)

When was the last time Obama or his minions came around to your house to force you to take part in a gay sex orgy with free and mandatory pot smoking? ScepticWombat (talk) 09:48, 2 December 2014 (UTC)

"There was a day when God was in the public sphere, and people worshiped and pleased God." Assuming that "pleasing" didn't refer to a sexual act... Have you wondered that maybe God wasn't pleased with that grovelling and hence brought about the contemporary state of affairs? ScepticWombat (talk) 09:51, 2 December 2014 (UTC)

Obama is trying to make me buy commie health care that covers illegal immigrants, abortions, people who refuse to work, and contraception. If God wasn't pleased with the good America of the 1950s, then he is pleased with the heathen liberal atheistic hedonistic America? Then was God pleased with Sodom and Gomorrah? --Elvis is King (talk) 01:58, 3 December 2014 (UTC)

You've just demonstrated that you neither understand what "commie" means, what "Obamacare" actually is, and then manage to top it out by referring to a fictional story - simply brilliant! Are you a Poe who are actively trying to pwn your Poe'etic writing while you're hitting the keyboard?

Oh, and you actually completely failed to substantiate your claims about having "homosexuality, promiscuity and "drug abuse" "crammed down your throat". ScepticWombat (talk) 06:35, 3 December 2014 (UTC)

A little bit too obvious as satire I'm afraid. I'm amused by those who take it seriously though.--Bob^{"I think you'll find it's more complicated than that."} 07:08, 3 December 2014 (UTC)

I'm not entirely certain (note other commenters who apparently know of EiK's record), but nevertheless, I'm just waiting with baited breath for the next tirade - no matter whether EiK is a Colbert or an O'Reilly the resulting posts are still hilarious. ScepticWombat (talk) 08:40, 3 December 2014 (UTC)

You people simply do not understand the truth. You are quite insistent on partaking of complete falsehoods and seek to substantiate your entirely meaningless existences by violating the basic principles marked in God's Holy Word, the King James Bible. You simply do not acknowledge the truths so you can be free to be lazy, not work, engage in promiscuity and homosexuality, drug and alcohol use, and other such grave sins as eating unclean foods like bacon so you can try to eschew God in favor of a society in a state of utter depravity and chaos. Nary goes a day that I just so happen to go by some diner that serves disgusting, fattening abominations against God, half naked women walking and in advertising, stupid people trying to justify their lack of intelligence by sounding dumb (cause it's apparently cool to be dumb and play the fool) use profanity compulsively, going into bars and clubs to fill the void that only God can truly fill for the sake of all humanity. The United States is becoming Sodom and Gomorrah and Las Vegas will soon be how the whole country is. It is extremely sad, but this is what happens when America turns its back on Great God Our King as the Founding Fathers knew. --Elvis is King (talk) 17:24, 13 January 2015 (UTC)

Went ahead and added to Category: Parody essays

I sincerely hope that was the right decision. If this was meant seriously, I'll just cry.

P.S. Yes, I know that's an Appeal to Negative Consequences, you don't have to tell me. Sensual Endeavor, the sexy pony ;) (talk) 09:29, 18 December 2014 (UTC)

This is a serious essay. You do not understand the truth behind it. --Elvis is King (talk) 17:25, 13 January 2015 (UTC)

Poll

Legit

User:Elvis is King would have to be a consistent poe. Given the ex-conservapedia bent, I see no reason to believe that. Ikanreed (talk) 19:33, 13 January 2015 (UTC)

Poe

--Edgerunner⁷⁶, B.A.H. 19:31, 13 January 2015 (UTC)