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Fun:Birth Control Is Sinful In The Christian Marriages and also Robbing God Of Priesthood Children!!

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Great and terrible
Books
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On our shelf:
I'm sorry, I thought this was a book about birth control and Jesus, but it appears to be written in FORTRAN.
—Ronald J. Conlon[1]

BIRTH CONTROL IS SINFUL IN THE CHRISTIAN MARRIAGES and also ROBBING GOD OF PRIESTHOOD CHILDREN!! is a book by Ms. Eliyzabeth Yanne Strong Anderson. The title is deliberately in all-caps. Every single letter in the book is capitalised. She also seems to not understand how punctuation works.

A shining example of vanity-published nonsense, the book consists of exactly what the title suggests it does, some insane fundamentalist Christian woman under the impression she is God's chosen one ranting about the evils of birth control and abortion, and how she's going to convert all the Muslims, Jews and atheists to Christianity, all in a manner so incomprehensible and aggressive it suggests a combination of rabies and methamphetamine.

The description is as thus (beware, you may go deaf from the yelling sensation). All mistakes are from the original manuscript, not our transcription.

THIS IS A HOLYSPIRIT MANUSCRIPT BOOK: WHEN YOU BUY THIS BOOK YOU WILL BE READING A HOLYSPIRIT DIRECTED BOOK FROM GOD; & *CHRIST JESUS. THIS BOOK IS GODS HOLYSPIRIT VOICE: THE CALL FOR ALL CHRISTIANS & CHURCHES TO REPENT FROM ALL THEIR SINS: EVEN FROM FALSE CHRIST TEACHINGS. BIRTH CONTROL SINS HAVE CURSE THE CHURCH WITH SPIRITUAL WHOREDOM & FALSE WORSHIP. RESULTING IN THE PERSECUTIONS: AGAINST THE HOLY PEOPLE. THIS BOOK MAY BE REVISED: BECAUSE OF COMPUTER DICTATORS: MANY WORDS IN THIS BOOK: MADE HAVE BEEN CHANGED: TO>>DISCREDIT: THE AUTHOR. BUT IN TRUTH: I AM A HOLYSPIRIT CHOSEN ANOINTED DISCIPLE FOR GOD & CHRIST JESUS. EVEN FOR JEWS, MUSLIMS & GENTILE SINNERS. MANY PEOPLE WILL LEARN HOW TO> BECOME REAL BORN AGAIN CHRISTIAN: THROUGH THIS HOLYSPIRIT BOOK & THROUGH THE PROTECTION & SUPPORT OF MY HOLYSPIRIT LIFE!! JOHN 3 & 15. ALL NATIONS WILL OVER COME THE SINS OF BIRTH CONTROL. *BECAUSE HOLY DOMINIONSHIP IS ONE OF THE FIRST COMMANDMENT IN GENESIS 1;26-31. ALL BELIEVERS: WILL COME TO A HOLY VOW OF REPENTANCE: THROUGH GODS RESTORATION & THROUGH GODS ADOPTION VOWS. YES!! THE KINGDOM OF GOD & HEAVEN!! IS AT HAND!! FOR ALL WHO BELIEVE IN THE ONE CREATOR GOD & CHRIST JESUS OUR HOLYSPIRIT ETERNAL LIFE SAVIOR: SURELY YOUR NAMES WILL BE WRITTEN IN THE LAMBS BOOK OF LIFE!! *WHEN YOU SUPPORT & PROTECT MY HOLYSPIRIT LIFE. WE ARE BRANCHES >JOHN 15 MY WEBSITE: http://groups.msn.com/ChristianPowerHealthProsperityAndSoulREMEMBER: GOD HAS MADE ME A HOLYSPIRIT VOICE FOR THE BRIDE OF GOD & CHRIST JESUS IN 1996 GOD TOLD ME TO TEACH THE GOSPEL ON CABLE TELEVISION IN TUCSON ARIZONA. *CONCERNING THE SINS OF THE CHURCHES: & CONCERNING THE>LACK OF GIVING TO THE POOR & ORPHANS: CHRISTIAN CHURCHES SHOULD: BUILD MORE:> WATER WELLS: & BUILD LOW INCOME HOUSINGS: MATTHEW 25 & ISAIAH 61

She takes a number of bizarre positions, such as women should bear a new child every 12 months, thinking "WHOREDOM PROSPERITY JOBS" is a coherent phrase [2], thinness being a sin (instead praising the "FULL-FIGURE MOTHERLY SHAPE", whatever that means), claims that she's not homophobic but thinks homosexuality is a sin and that homosexuality is caused by women feeding children soup and crackers [3] (!), and the rest is word salad.

She currently charges $140.11 for a copy, marked down from $150, but then it is 648 pages of eyeball-bleed-inducing capslock text from God. There are a few other quotes from Matthew we think she ought to check out[more detail please]. Then again, the unusual typography and format of the text suggests that there may be a Qabalistic meaning encoded in the text, as you may well expect from a HOLYSPIRIT communication.

In all fairness, this whole thing is most likely a troll or parody. Readers certainly seem to think so[4], and one jokes about conventional toilet paper being cheaper[5]. But here's to hoping it isn't. It'll be more funny if it's real. If you want to read the first 38 ranting pages, there is a preview on Barnes & Noble's website. If you, by chance, have a Kindle, she sells copies of this 648-page masterpiece for slightly over three dollars.

See also[edit]

External links[edit]

Footnotes[edit]

  1. http://www.amazon.com/review/R1E88RJCQDASLT/ref=cm_cr_pr_perm?ie=UTF8&ASIN=1425992609
  2. It makes even less sense in context
  3. She has quite the obsession with soup and crackers.
  4. Crackpottery in its most bizarre form
  5. [1]