Skull and Bones

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Aaaargh, me hearties!
Some dare call it
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What THEY don't want
you to know!
Sheeple wakers

Skull and Bones is a club at Yale University, occasionally accused by conspiracy theorists[note 1] of having links with the Freemasons. It is a popular subject for conspiracy theories which allege it is some sort of secret society for hand-picking and grooming future world leaders while initiating them into service to the New World Order through Satanic or occult rituals, but (and this can be said of any Ivy League organization) only the first half is true. Or something.

Since John Kerry and George H. W. Bush were both members, it is clear that Skull & Bones controls both sides of the American political debate and manipulates a mirage of debate between the left and right to keep the masses distracted while they secretly rule the world. Or something. Alternatively, the successful political advancement of so many former members of this small society just goes to show how incestuous and elitist the American political system really is.

Members are sworn to silence about the proceedings, which apparently include dining with Hitler's old silverware — an effective means of convincing them to keep mum about it.

It has been claimed that Skull and Bones has the remains of Native American firebrand, Geronimo, and some of his descendants have sued the society.[1]

According to their statements, Skull and Bones is dry, meaning no alcohol allowed.[2] Since this organization is basically a college fraternity there is only one rational response.


  1. Mostly from people who (erroneously) accuse S&B's like Bush Jr. of being Freemasons. Basically, crazy people think all secret societies are the same.