User talk:Fat Aardvark

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New logo large.png Your welcome to RationalWiki is lukewarm at best, Fat Aardvark.

This observation is due to the nature of your initial edits. Pull up a goat and try not to make trouble.

We realize it is possible that you do not understand the nature of the site or our objectives.

Please see our guide for newcomers and our community standards to clarify things for you.

If you're still interested in contributing, please see what our articles are intended to be.

Sprocket J Cogswell (talk) 00:41, 9 February 2014 (UTC)

FYI: RationalWiki has NO arbitration committee. Also, due to your edit warring over vandalism edits YOU added, you've been vandal-binned. Reckless Noise Symphony (talk) 11:14, 9 February 2014 (UTC)

Lol can you not issue An Indefinite block? Anyway my edits to NSA and Barack Obama were constructive and had information the world needs to know!--Fat Aardvark (talk) 11:56, 9 February 2014 (UTC)

Please can I be unblocked I promise to be good--Fat Aardvark (talk) 15:54, 9 February 2014 (UTC)

No. Nutty Roux100x100 anarchy symbol.svg 16:08, 9 February 2014 (UTC)
Why?--Fat Aardvark (talk) 16:23, 9 February 2014 (UTC)
You can figure that out for yourself. Sprocket J Cogswell (talk) 16:30, 9 February 2014 (UTC)
Does this Wiki have CheckUsers?--Fat Aardvark (talk) 16:31, 9 February 2014 (UTC)
Get lost. You're not welcome here, etc threatening messages involving a tapeworm. If you're going to "contribute", don't blank pages.--The Madman (talk) 16:42, 9 February 2014 (UTC)The Madman

The NSA is watching you! their reading yo emails!!!--Fat Aardvark (talk) 16:46, 9 February 2014 (UTC)


plz unblock me my vandalism WAS funny!--Fat Aardvark (talk) 17:30, 1 July 2015 (UTC)

Ohhh plz you must understand my edits were banterfull!--Fat Aardvark (talk) 18:40, 1 July 2015 (UTC)
Look, it's easy.
  1. wait for your 1 day ban that was totally earned to go away
  2. make 1-3 decent, helpful edits over an hour and a half tomorrow
  3. watch your vandal binning mysteriously evaporate
  4. troll again and wonder why you got rebinned and/or rebanned. ikanreed You probably didn't deserve that 18:55, 1 July 2015 (UTC)
It's not trolling it's just banter...--Fat Aardvark (talk) 20:10, 1 July 2015 (UTC)
Banter is a two way deal: "the playful and friendly exchange of teasing remarks." You can't do it if you're the only participant. Scream!! (talk) 20:19, 1 July 2015 (UTC)
Y'all best bow before me - the Banter king!--Fat Aardvark (talk) 08:20, 2 July 2015 (UTC)
Ok I'll be good just unblock me so I can help with the top notch wiki bants.--Fat Aardvark (talk) 10:21, 2 July 2015 (UTC)

Unblock me (again)[edit]

Ohh come on this is not right. I wasn't vandalising it's just you people can't handle the banter. Unblock me now!--Fat Aardvark (talk) 07:38, 3 July 2015 (UTC)

And the lesson for today is - unless you change your actions other's reaction is going to stay the same. Doxys Midnight Runner (talk) 08:41, 3 July 2015 (UTC)
You are shit at comedy. Until that changes, expect increasingly-long bans when you vomit crap onto a page. Queexchthonic murmurings 10:19, 3 July 2015 (UTC)
Your face is shit at comedy!!!! Yeah take that! How do you feel now you've been dissed by my awesome comeback! There are people in this world who are gifted with banter. You are clearly not one of them. Ooooooooo damm you get owned again! I guess you'll go and cry now.--Fat Aardvark (talk) 11:45, 3 July 2015 (UTC)

Unblock me[edit]

I should be able to edit. This is censorship and you will not silence the banter king! Fat Aardvark (talk)

It's not censorship. You can start your own banterwiki and banter as much as you like. If you're as funny as you think you are, you'll soon attract a large following and be King Net Of Banter. BicyclewheelModerator 16:20, 26 July 2015 (UTC)
I love the dichotomy of censorship in reality and by cranks. Real censorship in North Korea is that if you speak out of place they severally beat or murder you and/or your family. Cranks like to think it's censorship if people don't provide the location, podium, audience, and complete lack of criticism. There's a wide world out there and you can set up your own podium to spew at the world. -EmeraldCityWanderer (talk) 18:53, 26 July 2015 (UTC)
This bloke doesn't even want to do that, all he does is claim to be a great comedian. BicyclewheelModerator 18:57, 26 July 2015 (UTC)
I feel like everyone here hates me :( -Fat Aardvark (talk) 15:26, 27 July 2015 (UTC)
I don't hate you, I just think you're... you know those people who end up becoming unlikeable because they constantly ask why no-one likes them? That's you, that is. Stop trying so hard. BicyclewheelModerator 15:42, 27 July 2015 (UTC)
A good comedian needs to be able to distinguish between a tough audience and a routine that needs serious work. May I suggest that RW is not a particularly tough audience. Doxys Midnight Runner (talk) 15:56, 27 July 2015 (UTC)
Penis! Ha ha ha! Penis. Queexchthonic murmurings 16:07, 27 July 2015 (UTC)
LOL you said penis. Funnyyyy! BicyclewheelModerator 16:09, 27 July 2015 (UTC)
I say, I say, I say, my dog has no nose.... Doxys Midnight Runner (talk) 17:01, 27 July 2015 (UTC)
How does he smell? (talk) 20:43, 27 July 2015 (UTC)
Dreadful! (boom, tish). Doxys Midnight Runner (talk) 11:05, 28 July 2015 (UTC)

Paravent, you are an absolute disgrace[edit]

This is outrageous. You are attempting to silence political opponents you are an absolute disgrace to democracy how dare you. You should be ashamed of yourself you are a candidate in the election therefore you have NO right to decide who gets to run for election.--Fat Aardvark (talk) 19:21, 6 November 2015 (UTC)

Boring (talk) 19:21, 6 November 2015 (UTC)
Just out of (very minor) curiosity, what is the precise nature of your gripe with Paravant?---Mona- (talk) 19:25, 6 November 2015 (UTC)
Boring, and not funny. Being an obnoxious flatulent asshole is not humorous. -EmeraldCityWanderer (talk) 19:26, 6 November 2015 (UTC)
So I presume, but was just a trifle curious what the substance of his complaint is. Don't even know who s/he is.---Mona- (talk) 19:42, 6 November 2015 (UTC)
To awnser your question, Mona, I am angry with Paravent becuse he blocked my for no reason and for the past week he has been going out of his way to try to stop me taking part in the Mod Elections for no reason other than (I guess) he sees me as a threat to his power. --Fat Aardvark (talk) 19:57, 6 November 2015 (UTC)
topkek WalkerWalkerWalker 19:59, 6 November 2015 (UTC)
I don't think you get how serious this. Thanks to paravent this wiki has moved farm a democracy one stop closer to a dictatorship.--Fat Aardvark (talk) 21:02, 6 November 2015 (UTC)
22.5 glorious inches WalkerWalkerWalker 21:03, 6 November 2015 (UTC)
I wonder how serious it is to move one stop farm a democracy to a dictatorship. -EmeraldCityWanderer (talk) 21:42, 6 November 2015 (UTC)
I'm sure Paravent, Paravant's more windy sibling, will be highly disturbed by your message regarding him. (talk) 21:06, 6 November 42015 AQD (UTC)
So is anyone going to unblock me? After all there was no valid reason for a block and I have as much right to participate in the election as everyone else.--Fat Aardvark (talk) 10:27, 7 November 2015 (UTC)
Survey says... that I'm not that bored. WalkerWalkerWalker 17:30, 7 November 2015 (UTC)
Your not helping PacWalker I think I should get unblocked and receive a full apology --Fat Aardvark (talk) 21:26, 7 November 2015 (UTC)
You're right; I'm not helping. WalkerWalkerWalker 21:30, 7 November 2015 (UTC)
Aardvark, I've occasionally had some peeves where Paravant is concerned, including recently. But dictator? I don't think so. I won't even consider unblocking you without an honest explanation I could look into to justify doing so. (I don't know you at all, except from this issue.) If he violated RW policy in some way you have to specifically cite which one, and how he violated it.---Mona- (talk) 22:01, 7 November 2015 (UTC)
Mona, please do not bother wasting your time with this moron. Trawl through all their contributions if you like (fewer than 100) and you will find about as much substance as a balloonful of hot air, without the balloon, and much less entertaining. The way I read it, Paravant didn't like the mod election page being spammed with their inanity, and took care of the problem with a few days of block. Can't say I blame em. Alec Sanderson (talk) 23:27, 7 November 2015 (UTC)
BOTH OF YOU< STOP IT! NO MAKING SENSE IS ALLOWED HERE! WalkerWalkerWalker 23:48, 7 November 2015 (UTC)
Alec, Ima thinkin I'm not gonna trawl. Aardvark seems to unify a lot of wild cats who often hiss at one another into agreeing on one thing: he's not an upstanding or worthy user. That's good enough for me.---Mona- (talk) 00:05, 8 November 2015 (UTC)

Web site dictatorships are a human rights scourge. It's about time someone spoke Troof to Powder.---Mona- (talk) 23:54, 7 November 2015 (UTC)

Awright, you fat aardvark[edit]

You know, why Paravant canned you from the mod selection? 'Cause, AFAIK, all of your edits on this wiki consisted of either vandalism or the defense of this vandalism, your mod candidacy announcement read as some kinda dumb joke even though I don't agree with Paravant canning you from the mod elections, I don't give enough of a shit about you to object.--Arisboch ☞✍☜☞✉☜ ∈)☼(∋ 23:55, 7 November 2015 (UTC)


Clearly you see me as a treat you un-democratic, slimy, stuck up, bullying, evil communist slime!--Fat Aardvark (talk) 19:11, 10 November 2015 (UTC)

I vehemently object to reverting and blocking you -- it's wholly arbitrary. You are likely as much a pissant as the consensus would indicate, but that's not sufficient reason to suppress you when you are not violating any rules, formal or informal.---Mona- (talk) 19:16, 10 November 2015 (UTC)
What sort of treat? a custard slice, perhaps? Or maybe a fun-size mars bar? BicyclewheelModerator 19:18, 10 November 2015 (UTC)
I would say bacon, since the fat rodent seems to be writing the same BS that user:Elvis is King liked to spout. -EmeraldCityWanderer (talk) 19:22, 10 November 2015 (UTC)
Horse faced and frog faced huh? I am imagining a horse's facial structure with amphibian skin, no ears and no teeth. Hmmm, problem is my imagination can't make the frog eyeballs fit into the horse eye sockets. SolPyre (talk) 20:02, 10 November 2015 (UTC)
Thanks for taking the time to write to me. Unfortunately, I am very busy and simply don't have the time to respond to all of my fans, but the fact that you felt moved to tell me how much you appreciate my work means a lot to me. It really does. I hope you'll continue to enjoy my own, unique brand of bants in future. Please enjoy the enclosed glossy photo of the team [1]. Stay well, and keep circulating the tapes. Queexchthonic murmurings 20:05, 10 November 2015 (UTC)
Seriously folks, I'm sure this guy is an asshole and fool, but what is an actual policy reason for blocking him, or even reverting his comments?---Mona- (talk) 20:12, 10 November 2015 (UTC)
a year of spam and not stopping when told to. Pick an actual user who might contribute to defend, not the idiot who has been long term binned and banned in the past for vandalism.--"Paravant" Talk & Contribs 20:21, 10 November 2015 (UTC)
It started with a day long block, which they waited out then carried on as before. As a joke, I started doubling the block length each time. This is the 8th occasion when they've been blocked under that scheme, hence the length. Mostly, I'm fascinated how someone can keep coming back, having learned very little, and earn themselves another ban twice the size of the last. Even slime moulds learn faster than that. Queexchthonic murmurings 20:28, 10 November 2015 (UTC)
even more remarkable is he came back after a year ban previously--"Paravant" Talk & Contribs 20:31, 10 November 2015 (UTC)
Queex, I'm fully prepared to believe all of that. But what did he do this time to warrant being blocked and reverted?---Mona- (talk) 20:32, 10 November 2015 (UTC)
See his opening edit of this section. Dicking about with the mod election pages is a mild annoyance. Throwing a wobbler over being reverted at it, whether sincere or a weird-ass attempt at humour, is something we can easily do without. Queexchthonic murmurings 20:48, 10 November 2015 (UTC)


You appear not to have made it onto the ballot... and nobody of note cared. SockTheory 07:07, 23 November 2015 (UTC)

By "of note" I assume you mean "at all." BicyclewheelModerator 13:00, 23 November 2015 (UTC)
However, you probably still share last with me, so props on that? WalkerWalkerWalker 13:44, 23 November 2015 (UTC)

Shake down... Break down...[edit]

You're busted! — Unsigned, by: Police Officer / talk / contribs