Dan Quayle

From RationalWiki
Jump to navigation Jump to search
"UH-OH, Spaghetti-o's!"
A guide to
U.S. Politics
Icon politics USA.svg
Hail to the Chief?
Persons of interest

Somebody told me the other day that the Secret Service has orders that if George Bush is shot, they're to shoot Quayle.
John Kerry

James Danforth "Potatoe" "No Jack Kennedy" Quayle (1947–) was the Vice President of the United States during the George H. W. Bush Presidency. He is also a professional dumbass and the late-20th century's greatest gift to the art of satire. (He may have also been a Time Lord.) Quayle's political stature was immortalised in the first edition of Sid Meier's CivilizationWikipedia as the benchmark for the poorest performance in the game. He is a serious contender for "worst Vice President ever" and that is a list that includes a Sith Lord, someoneWikipedia who wanted to conquer the “hollow Earth” and took a 9-month leave during a crisis, a person so corrupt even Nixon wanted no piece of him, freakin' Aaron Burr, and three peopleWikipedia whoWikipedia engaged in active treason.

The chief reason for his inclusion on RationalWiki is that despite his near-heroic level of dumbassery, given the choice, most people would have given anything to have him back as Vice President over George W. Bush's VP, Dick Cheney, as stupid is better than evil, although some claim there isn't really a difference. Many were convinced that if the Republicans had won the Presidency in 2008, America would have basically had Dan Quayle on estrogen as the VP. He made a amazingly pitiful run for the presidency in 2000, though the eventual GOP nominee was little better in hindsight.



Word salad Quotes[edit]

Why do GOP Vice Presidents come in only two varieties: evil incarnate, or dumb as a post? It can not be to balance the ticket.
  • What a waste it is to lose one's mind. Or not to have a mind is being very wasteful. How true that is.- Speaking before the United Negro College Fund, 9 May 1989
  • The Holocaust was an obscene period in our nation's history. No, not in this nation, but in World War II. I mean we all lived in this century. I didn't live in this century, but in this century's history.- 15 September 1988
  • Hawaii has always been a very pivotal role in the Pacific. It is in the Pacific. It is a part of the United States that is an island that is right here.- 25 April 1989
  • Mars is essentially in the same orbit... Mars is somewhat the same distance from the Sun, which is very important. We have seen pictures where there are canals, we believe, and water. If there is water, that means there is oxygen. If oxygen, that means we can breathe.- 11 August 1989
  • Verbosity leads to unclear, inarticulate things.- 30 October 1988
  • Don't forget about the importance of the family. It begins with the family. We're not going to redefine the family. Everybody knows the definition of the family. [pause] A child. [pause] A mother. [pause] A father. There are other arrangements of the family, but that is a family and family values.- Speaking to Hispanic Job Corps students in Amarillo, Texas.[1]
  • Republicans understand the importance of bondage between the mother and child.- October 1988[2]
  • Potato. P-O-T-A-T-O-E.- 15 June 1992, at a spelling bee[3]

On the Other Hand...[edit]

  • Mike, you have no flexibility on this. None. Zero. Forget it. Put it away... I do know the position you're in. I also know what the law is. You listen to the parliamentarian. That's all you do. You have no power.- January 2021 to Mike Pence[4]

See also[edit]


  1. Reported by Time magazine, 10 October 1988, which reported he "tried for an inspirational touch and came off like a LifeSpring instructor."
  2. Reported in U.S. News and World Report, 10 October 1988
  3. Gaffe with an 'e' at the end He was reading from cue cards and was not corrected by anybody present at the event
  4. How Dan Quayle saved democracy. Yes, really.
  5. An as-yet unwritten volume of biography. Here's hoping it stays that way.