Chickenhawk

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Born to kill. Not to serve
Chickenhawk
Chickenhawks.gif
Guys
I will do anything in my power to support our military, short of enlisting.
Stephen Colbert
We’re still playing the game

With the bravery of being out of range
We still zap and maim
With the bravery of being out of range
Still strafing the train
With the bravery of being out of range
We still gain terrain
With the bravery of being out of range
Still fucking insane
With the bravery of being out of range
Still channeling John Wayne
With the bravery of being out of range
Still blowing out our own damn brains

Yeah with the bravery of being out of range
—Roger Waters “The Bravery of Being Out of Range [1]

A chickenhawk is a predatory bird that, according to humans, likes the taste of chicken, though they much prefer small wild animals. It can also be a person in a position of public prominence or power who simultaneously displays the following two traits:

Worth noting is that knowing the alternative and possibly unsavoury meanings of political labels is wise, as any Teabagger could tell you.[note 1] In this case, the term "chickenhawk" also happens to be a gay male slang termWikipedia for a man who likes 'em young. Real young. Young enough to go to prison over.

History lesson[edit]

The Bush Administration (2001–2009) had an abundance of these creatures. Indeed, after the resignation of Colin Powell, there was no one with genuine combat experience in any prominent executive position. In fact, several of the listed chickenhawks below were notable draft dodgers, especially from Vietnam. This probably led to their policies being based on dangerously abstracted notions of the nature and efficacy of war.

Those (such as Dwight Eisenhower) who have witnessed the horrors of war first-hand tend to be cautious about willfully unleashing such militaristic havoc again, no matter how remote or foreign the battlefield, with perhaps the notable exception of John McCain, who seemed to jump at the chance of bombing the tar out of someone at every chance (though he didn't share the chickenhawks' fondness for torture). As well as not appreciating the full human costs of their decisions, there remains the uncomfortable suspicion that chickenhawks are prepared to send others to risk their lives in ways that chickenhawks would never risk their own and would benefit chickenhawks and allies of chickenhawks.

Prominent chickenhawks[edit]

This is the problem with civilians wanting to go to war. Once you've been there, once you've seen it, you never want to go again unless you absolutely have to... It's like France.
—Lt. Gen. Miller, In the Loop

Here is a short list of prominent chickenhawks:

Special category[edit]

  • Every Representative and Senator who voted for the Iraq War, but avoided serving if and when it was possible for them, and did not recant or repudiate their vote by the end of 2005.

Chickenhawks that deserve far more respect than the above[edit]

This chickenhawk has never served in war but at least has never voted for one.

See also[edit]

External links and sources[edit]

Notes[edit]

  1. What the average Teabagger would know about wisdom is a separate question.
  2. British, but dragged the UK into largest number of wars of any British PM. Combat experience: zero.
  3. Nominally served in the military, but in a Texas National Guard unit with no possibility of being sent to Vietnam. Eventually he got bored and stopped even showing up for duty. There was no punishment and he was given an honorable discharge on account of his father being a rich and powerful politician. Which is also how he got such cushy duty in the first place.
  4. Nugent gets bonus points for also being the other kind of chickenhawk. He even wrote a song about it.

References[edit]