Joe Biden

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A smile which says, "I just came back from grabbing your wife's ass."
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Joseph R. "Literally"[1] "Big Fucking Deal" "Amtrak Joe" "Gates of Hell" "Uncle Joe" "Come Hell or High Water" "Diamond Joe" Biden, Jr. is the conservative's false prophet former in a long list of gaffe-prone Vice Presidents of the United States[2] who, at the same time, managed to be one of Barack Obama's most important negotiators.[3]

2008 B.B. (Before Biden)[edit]

Like any great superhero, his entire life has been marked by tragedy. He lost his wife and infant daughter in a car crash in the 70's, and his eldest son died in 2015 of cancer.

He was a U.S. Senator for Delaware from 1973-2008. He also kicked the Anal Parish's and the Randroid's asses in the debates. Sadly, he is also lobbyist for Delawarean Credit card firms.

Women's issues[edit]

Biden's support of women's rights is broad and consistent. Even feminist men, like Biden, can be tone-deaf, and that is how Biden appeared when questioning Anita Hill regarding her accusations of sexual harassment against Supreme Court nominee Clarence Thomas during his Senate confirmation hearings.[4] In 1994, Biden authored and strong-armed the passage of the Violence Against Women Act (as part of a larger bill, Violent Crime Control and Law Enforcement Act, also known as the Biden Crime Act) which among other things, aids women in cases of domestic assault and for the first time, provided a way for victims of rape or domestic assault to find redress in civil courts if the State or District prosecutor choose not to try a case.

Despite personally following his Catholic faith in the belief that life begins at conception, Biden is strongly pro-choice. In the 2012 Vice-Presidential debates, he stated his own view (and challenged all lawmakers):

With regard to abortion, I accept my church’s position … life begins at conception. … But I refuse to impose it on equally devout Christian and Muslims and Jews, and I just refuse to impose that on others.
I do not believe that we have a right to tell women, that they can’t control their body. It is a decision between them and their doctor. I am not going to interfere with that.

Gay marriage should be legal... oops[edit]

In May of 2012, right in the middle of the re-election campaign, Biden misspoke (or maybe not), saying that "I am absolutely comfortable with gay marriage."[5] This gaffe forced Obama to have to actually address the gay marriage issue head on. The President said he had evolved and now accepted gay marriage. This was one of several turning points in the campaign, so thank him for that. (There's some not-entirely-unfounded speculation that Biden's "gaffe" was a trial balloon for a planned announcement by the President: if the media didn't make too much of a fuss about Biden's statement, or made a fuss in a positive direction, it was safe for the Prez to, um, come out.)[6]

Amtrak Joe[edit]

Since first becoming a Senator in 1973, Biden has ridden the train between his state and DC on Amtrak almost every week. One of his frequent trainmates was Senator Arlen Specter whom he first converted into a fellow train enthusiast and later made switch parties from (moderate) Republican to Democrat. As a frequent rider on Amtrak it should come as no surprise that Biden is a fan of rail as a mode of transportation and he has consequently been called "railfan in chief" and "Amtrak Joe" among other things. The Obama administration's ambitious high speed rail plan that was unveiled in 2009 is believed to be mostly thanks to his influence and when a train derailed on the Northeast Corridor a visibly shaken Biden spoke to media, that he himself had been on the same route numerous times and that more investments in Amtrak is needed now more than ever. The Republicans of course voted to cut Amtrak funding on the very same day.[7]

See also[edit]

Icon fun.svg For those of you in the mood, RationalWiki has a fun article about Joe Biden.
  • Dick Cheney: Joe Biden's predecessor.
  • Al Gore: Cheney's predecessor and the dude who should've been president instead of Cheney's boss.
  • Mike Pence: Biden's successor.


External links[edit]


United States 2008 presidential election articles on RationalWiki
Topics: Debate:Religious beliefs and public office - Mission accomplished - Same-sex marriage - United States Electoral College - Values Voter Debate 2007

Parties: Constitution Party - Democratic Party - Green Party - Libertarian Party - Republican Party
Candidates: Baldwin (Con) - Brownback (R) - Clinton (D) - Giuliani (R) - Huckabee (R) - Keyes (R) - McCain (R) - McKinney (Green) - Obama (D) - Paul (R) - Romney (R) Running mates: Biden (D) - Palin (R)
Winner: Barack Obama

United States 2012 presidential election articles on RationalWiki
Topics: Affordable Care Act - Benghazi attack - Debate:Religious beliefs and public office - Same-sex marriage - United States Electoral College
Parties: Americans Elect - Constitution Party - Democratic Party - Green Party - Libertarian Party - Prohibition Party - Republican Party (primaries Tea Party)
Candidates: Bachmann (R) - Cain (R) - Gingrich (R) - Johnson (Lib) - Obama (D) - Perry (R) - Paul (R) - Romney (R) - Santorum (R) - Stein (Green) Running mates: Biden (D) - Ryan (R)
Winner: Barack Obama (incumbent)