Joe Biden

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A smile which says, "I just came back from grabbing your wife's ass."
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You've got the first sort of mainstream African American who is articulate and bright and clean and nice looking guy. I mean that's a storybook man.
—Joe Biden referring to Barack Obama in 2007[1] Now that's progressive!'
Poor kids are just as bright and just as talented as white kids

Joseph R. "Literally"[3] "Big Fucking Deal" "Amtrak Joe" "Gates of Hell" "Uncle Joe" "Come Hell or High Water" "Diamond Joe" Biden, Jr. is the conservative's false prophet former in a long list of gaffe-prone Vice Presidents of the United States[4][5] who, at the same time, managed to be one of Barack Obama's most important negotiators.[6]

2008 B.B. (Before Biden)[edit]

His entire life has been marked by tragedy. He lost his wife and infant daughter in a car crash in the 70's, and his eldest son died in 2015 of cancer.

He was a U.S. Senator for Delaware from 1973-2008. He also kicked the Anal Parish's and the Randroid's asses in the debates. Sadly, he is also lobbyist for Delawarean Credit card firms.

Amtrak Joe[edit]

Since first becoming a Senator in 1973, Biden has ridden the train between his state and DC on Amtrak almost every week. One of his frequent trainmates was Senator Arlen Specter whom he first converted into a fellow train enthusiast and later made switch parties from (moderate) Republican to Democrat. As a frequent rider on Amtrak it should come as no surprise that Biden is a fan of rail as a mode of transportation and he has consequently been called "railfan in chief" and "Amtrak Joe" among other things. The Obama administration's ambitious high speed rail plan that was unveiled in 2009 is believed to be mostly thanks to his influence and when a train derailed on the Northeast Corridor a visibly shaken Biden spoke to media, that he himself had been on the same route numerous times and that more investments in Amtrak is needed now more than ever. The Republicans of course voted to cut Amtrak funding on the very same day.[7]

Gay marriage should be legal... oops[edit]

In May of 2012, right in the middle of the re-election campaign, Biden misspoke (or maybe not), saying that "I am absolutely comfortable with gay marriage."[8] This gaffe forced Obama to have to actually address the gay marriage issue head on. The President said he had evolved and now accepted gay marriage. This was one of several turning points in the campaign, so thank him for that. (There's some not-entirely-unfounded speculation that Biden's "gaffe" was a trial balloon for a planned announcement by the President: if the media didn't make too much of a fuss about Biden's statement, or made a fuss in a positive direction, it was safe for the Prez to, um, come out.)[9]

Women's issues[edit]

Biden's support of women's rights is broad and consistent. Even feminist men, like Biden, can be tone-deaf, and that is how Biden appeared when questioning Anita Hill regarding her accusations of sexual harassment against Supreme Court nominee Clarence Thomas during his Senate confirmation hearings.[10] In 1994, Biden authored and strong-armed the passage of the Violence Against Women Act (as part of a larger bill, Violent Crime Control and Law Enforcement Act, also known as the Biden Crime Act) which among other things, aids women in cases of domestic assault and for the first time, provided a way for victims of rape or domestic assault to find redress in civil courts if the State or District prosecutor choose not to try a case.

Despite personally following his Catholic faith in the belief that life begins at conception, Biden is strongly pro-choice. In the 2012 Vice-Presidential debates, he stated his own view (and challenged all lawmakers):

With regard to abortion, I accept my church’s position … life begins at conception. … But I refuse to impose it on equally devout Christian and Muslims and Jews, and I just refuse to impose that on others.
I do not believe that we have a right to tell women, that they can’t control their body. It is a decision between them and their doctor. I am not going to interfere with that.

Allegations of inappropriate physical contact and sexual assault[edit]

I'm a tactile politician
—Joe Biden, March 2019[11]
Not once — never — did I believe I acted inappropriately.
—Joe Biden, March 2019[12]

There are several videos and pictures of Biden engaging in what commentators consider to be inappropriate proximity to women and children, including kissing and or touching.[13][14][15] Biden described himself as a "tactile politician", admitting this behavior caused trouble in the past.[16]

In March 2019, Lucy Flores, former Nevada assemblywoman, accused Biden of having kissed her without her consent at a 2014 campaign rally in Las Vegas. Flores wrote that Biden walked up behind her, put his hands on her shoulders, smelled her hair, and kissed the back of her head, in "an intimate way reserved for close friends, family, or romantic partners – and I felt powerless to do anything about it."[17][18] Few days later, three additional women came forward with allegations of inappropriate conduct. Amy Lappos, a former congressional aide, accused Biden of having crossed a line of decency when he touched her in a non-sexual, but inappropriate way by holding her head to rub noses with her at a political fundraiser in Greenwich in 2009.[19] Another woman said that Biden ran his hand from her shoulder down her back, and the other said that he placed his hand on her thigh.[20][21] By April 2019, a total of seven women accused Biden of inappropriately touching them.[22]

On March 24, 2020, one of Biden's previous accusers, Tara Reade, came forward with additional allegations of sexual assault. She had reached out to the organizations Time's Up and the National Women's Law Center for legal help moving forward with her story due to backlash she had received with her previous accusations. Both organizations declined to help, citing that it may threaten their nonprofit status due to Biden's active campaign. Her brother and a close friend of hers both recall being told about the incident at the time. [23][24] Joe Biden denies the accusation. [25]

See also[edit]

Icon fun.svg For those of you in the mood, RationalWiki has a fun article about Joe Biden.
  • Dick Cheney: Joe Biden's predecessor.
  • Al Gore: Cheney's predecessor and the dude who should've been president instead of Cheney Cheney's boss.
  • Mike Pence: Biden's successor.

External links[edit]


  3. Joe Biden Speech: Vice President Misuses The Word Literally, HuffPo
  4. Bidenisms
  5. Joe Biden isn’t just a gaffe machine. He’s the Lamborghini of gaffes by Dana Milbank (August 27, 2019 at 7:52 PM) The Washington Post.
  6. In 'fiscal cliff' deal, Joe Biden upstages President Obama, Christian Science Monitor
  7. Jeremy Diamond and Eric Bradner, "House committee passes bill that cuts Amtrak funding after crash", CNN.
  8. Biden 'absolutely comfortable' with gay marriage, Reuters
  9. Obama: Biden “probably got a little bit over his skis” on the issue, Washington Post.
  10. Re-watching Joe Biden’s disastrous Anita Hill hearing: A sexual harassment inquisition by Michael S. Rosenwald (November 26 at 12:11 PM) The Washington Post.
  12. "Biden responds to allegation of unwanted touching, kissing: ‘Not once — never — did I believe I acted inappropriately’". Washington Post. March 2019. 
  13. "Joe Biden 2020 Is A Terrible Idea In A Post-Weinstein America". HuffingtonPost. November, 2017. 
  14. "Lucy Flores isn’t alone. Joe Biden’s got a long history of touching women inappropriately". Vox. March 2019. 
  15. "America Shouldn't Tolerate 'Biden Being Biden'". Time. February, 2015. 
  16. "Nevada Democrat accuses Joe Biden of touching and kissing her without consent at 2014 event". Los Angeles Times. March 29, 2019. 
  17. "Ex-Nevada Assemblywoman Says Joe Biden Inappropriately Kissed Her". HuffingtonPost. March, 2019. 
  18. "Lucy Flores Still Wants An Apology From Joe Biden". HuffingtonPost. April, 2019. 
  19. "Connecticut woman says then-Vice President Joe Biden touched her inappropriately at a Greenwich fundraiser in 2009". Hartford Courant. April, 2019. 
  20. "Two more women accuse Biden of inappropriate touching". TheHill. April, 2019. 
  21. "Biden’s Tactile Politics Threaten His Return in the #MeToo Era". New York Times. April, 2019. 
  22. "All the Women Who Have Spoken Out Against Joe Biden". New York (magazine). April, 2019. 
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