Fun:Fairies

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“”There may be fairies at the bottom of the garden. [...]

—Quote mining Richard Dawkins

Fairies (or "faeries" if you're a pretentious pagan) are small, pixie-ish creatures which are now generally believed to be extinct due to global warming alive and well on islands uninhabited by humans (and underground). The current view of evolutionary theory along with the fossil record cannot account for fairies, as there are no remains of adult diminutive hominids and no vertebrate has ever developed wings that are not exaptations ("re-tailorings") of pre-existing limbs.

It should be noted here than the image of fairies as small, cute, winged friendly humanoids or beautiful elves living deep in the forest dates from relatively recent times (the Victorian era onwards); they were much nastier before, and not something you'd like to have businesses with. And don't look now, but they're right behind you.

Evidence for fairies

Some of the most striking evidence for fairies yet uncovered.

• The existence of fairies has never been disproven and consequently they should be accepted as real until such time as there is positive proof of their non-existence.
• A belief in fairies gives many people comfort and taking away that comfort would be cruel and could destabilize society.
• Although many would say that the belief in fairies is illogical or irrational, the principle of NOMA means that scientific questioning or rationality shouldn't be used to examine the fairy question as it has spiritual or religious overtones for some people.
• There is a conspiracy amongst scientists which involves the suppression of fairy data. Or was that scary data?
• Many people have given testimonials attesting to their contacts with fairies.
• Attempts to investigate fairies scientifically don't properly take into account the special characteristics of fairies which mean they cannot be properly investigated using the scientific method. QED.
• Many famous authors have spoken about fairies in their works. (Edmund Spenser rates as famous too. Which award-winning best-seller list did he grace for more than two and a half weeks again?). Ozzy Osbourne told us that they wear boots and he wouldn’t lie to us. Would he?
• Stories about fairies or similar beings exist in all cultures; therefore there must be some truth in the idea.
• Statistics show that people who believe in fairies are more kind and gentle. This shows that fairies are directly influencing their lives for good and proves the existence of fairies.
• People who believe in fairies are statistically more likely to give to charities, showing the moral superiority of fairy-belief systems.
• There are many YouTube videos and sites on the internet which attest to the existence of fairies.
• I saw one myself last night. It was African American (judging by the repertoire of its vowels) and told me the location of two golden tablets buried in the ground.

Modern and historical sightings of fairy-like creatures

Creationists cite a number of reasons to believe that fairies have existed until relatively recent times, and, indeed, still survive.

An actual fairy sighting.

• There have been a number of claimed sightings of fairy-like creatures (it is not clear what drugs may have been involved in the sightings).
• The historicity of the Kingdom of Faeries is well documented throughout history. Many respected chroniclers talk of faeries, including William Shakespeare, who carefully documented events in the reign of Oberon and Titania. Such compelling evidence is difficult to dismiss.
• Among those who believe in the existence of the Loch Ness Monster, one popular theory is that it is a big fairy. It is, however, unwise to make this suggestion to the local Scots.
• There are drawings of creatures resembling fairies in many children’s school books.
• An item of graffiti in Pompeii, a second century piece of art, is said to be a piece of artwork that shows a fairy and man "coexisting lustfully."
• Etchings on the floor of The Vatican appear to be of fairies. They are on the tomb of Archbishop Rodney Herbert O'Gould, who died in 1066. Contemporary records frequently describe him as "coexisting."
• The description of the demon “Tinker Bell” by American Indians matches the descriptions of a monster fairy.
• Fairies pinch Falstaff in Shakespeare's The Merry Wives of Windsor.
• Descriptions of dragons are widespread and match descriptions of fairies. This suggests that dragons were real creatures which were, in reality, gigantic fire-breathing fairies. (Although this may shed some doubt on the “coexisting” hypothesis.)
• Fire-breathing fairies appear in the flag of Wales, and in traditional Chinese New Year's Day celebrations, and in the Chinese calendar. Every other creature on the Chinese calendar is a real creature, so the fairies must be real too.
• In 1882, a half fairy was elected to the position of MP in the UK House of Commons and was successful in passing an act to submit unelected Lords to competitive examination.
• The spiritualist Sir Arthur Conan Doyle was fooled by the Cottingley fairies in 1917, despite the cardboard images used being copied from a popular children's book.

The debunking website True.Origins states that the inclusion of fairies within many cultures is based on human gullibility and faulty reasoning. It says that ancient people, unaware that the forces of nature had scientific explanations, attributed the forces to living, magical creatures. This would explain the importance of fairies in Chinese culture (there are a large number of fairy, and non-fairy, stories to be found in China).

Literature professor Carole G. Silver notes connections between fear of fairies in 19th century Britain and a fear of other little people, such as Gypsies, Scottish Highlanders, the Irish, and the working classes.

See also

• Angels
• Earth angels
• Elves
• Fairy tales
• Flying Spaghetti Monster
• Invisible Pink Unicorn
• Leprechaun
• Leviathan
• Neopaganism
• Santa Claus
• Tooth fairy
• Lewis Spence