Fun:Dr. Bronner's Soap
The section below is composed entirely from verbatim passages from Dr. Bronner's Soap:
Dr. Bronner's Soap was invented by Dr. Emanuel Bronner of Escondido, California, Essene rabbi and master chemist to unite the whole human race, lightning-like, in our Eternal Father's great All-One-God-Faith! Enjoy only 2 cosmetics, enough sleep and Dr. Bronner's 'Magic Soap' to clean body-mind-soul-spirit instantly uniting One! Replace half-true Socialist-fluoride poison & tax-slavery with full-truth, work-speech-press & profitsharing Socialaction! All-One! Essene & Chinese birth controls must reduce birth or Easter Isle type overpopulation destroys God's Spaceship Earth! God's law prevents all conception below pH3. So, absolute clean, apply vaseline, oil, butter or cream, insert teaspoonful juicy lemon pulp, pH2. O.K.! Next day, douche with qt. soapy water, pH8, restoring pH5 balance God made! Mohammed's Arabs, 1948, found Israel Essene Scrolls & Einstein's "Hillel" prove that as no 6-year-old can grow up free without the ABC, so certain can no 12-year-old survive free without the Moral ABC mason, tent & sandalmaker Rabbi Hillel taught carpenter Jesus to unite all mankind free in our Eternal Father's great All-One-God-Faith! Warning: Keep out of eye! Do not drink soap! Dilute! Dilute! OK! Help unite mankind, or we're wandering clowns! The mark of the mature man is his ability to work brave, teaching all, every slave, how to replace coal-oil-gas-mineral-nuclear, unemployed-inflation, welfare-waste-war with Essene Birth-Control for very girl, Swiss 6000 year Universal Military Training UMT for full-employment, raising 1 trillion Israel-system trees, 2 million Dutch dikes, 3 Greek mirror-solars, 4 Hannibal windpower plants, 5 billion Amish-Amway-AT&T profitsharing jobs, 6 Milorganite plants, 76 million Planetemples teaching All-One-God-Faith, Austrian music, Babylon roof-gardens, California rain forests, China-bikes, Cartha-UMT, Catspaw sandals, compost tree, CO2 bomber, the Moral ABC, cattle-lemon-Esperanto. Finn-jails, gasohol, German solar-Zeppelins, Health-meat-salt-soap-tape, jojoba-aloevera-chia-ginseng-garlic, Kibbutz, Nature Friends, patents, Swiss economy, Town-Without-Toothache, Patrick Henry teaches PHt's of USA-USSR H20 coop, with 76 million battery-banks, powering every car-factory-farm-home-Milorganite-monorail! We're ALL-ONE! All-one or NONE! Exceptions eternally? NONE!
- Dr. Bronner's Original Rant — a more-or-less complete text of the label
- 18-IN-1 DR. BRONNER'S HEMP ROSE PURE CASTILLE SOAP — an official label