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Austria

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Map of Austria.
Not to be confused with Australia, which is in a different hemisphere, on a different continent, and speaks a language (most) users here are guaranteed to almost be able to understand.

Austria (German: Österreich), officially the Republic of Austria (German: Republic Österreich) is a country in Central Europe. The rural part of Austria is full of mountains, snow, goats and the like. Carinthia (German: Kärnten) is full of lakes. Vienna (German: Wien) is the capital of Austria and it is full of people, music, culture, coffee houses and such things. The cutlet dish Wiener schnitzel (sometimes also spelled Wienerschnitzel) is also named after Vienna (it comes from the city's German demonym i.e. Viennese; German: Wiener). Americans later ripped off the pork version of the dish (it was originally made with veal) in the form of pork tenderloin.[note 1] Sachertorte is also a famous Viennese recipe and closely connected with the Hotel Sacher in the city.

Austria is also rife with Roman Catholics.

On occasion, people get mail addressed to Austria mixed up with Australia, making it a dicey proposition when somebody in Austria wins your eBay auction.

States[edit]

Reliefkarte Österreich.png
Rea mark.svg
Hitler was
born here
Flag of Salzburg, Vienna, Vorarlberg.svg
Vorarlberg
Flag of Tirol and Upper Austria.svg
Tyrol
Flag of Salzburg, Vienna, Vorarlberg.svg
Salzburg
Flag of Tirol and Upper Austria.svg
Upper Austria
Flag of Lower Austria.svg
Lower Austria
Flag of Salzburg, Vienna, Vorarlberg.svg
Vienna
Flag of Styria.svg
Styria
Burgenland   Flag of Burgenland.svg
Flag of Carinthia.svg
Carinthia
East
Tyrol
Italy
Germany
Czechia
Hungary
Slovenia
Switzerland
HR
LI
SK

The states in Austria are called Bundesländer (German, lit.: "federal countries"), just like in Germany.

States of Austria
State (German name) Capital
Flag of Burgenland.svg Burgenland Eisenstadt
Flag of Carinthia.svg Carinthia (Kärnten) Klagenfurt
Flag of Lower Austria.svg Lower Austria (Niederösterreich) St. Pölten
Flag of Salzburg, Vienna, Vorarlberg.svg Salzburg Salzburg
Flag of Styria.svg Styria (Steiermark) Graz
Flag of Tirol and Upper Austria.svg Tyrol (Tirol) Innsbruck
Flag of Tirol and Upper Austria.svg Upper Austria (Oberösterreich) Linz
Flag of Salzburg, Vienna, Vorarlberg.svg Vienna (Wien) Vienna
Flag of Salzburg, Vienna, Vorarlberg.svg Vorarlberg Bregenz

Tyrol[edit]

The state of Tyrol is composed of two territories: the larger North Tyrol (German: Nordtirol) and East Tyrol (German: Osttirol). Historically, the region of Tyrol included the aforementioned territories and South Tyrol (German: Südtirol) that is now part of Italy. There are significant minorities in South Tyrol that speak German, such as in the city of BolzanoWikipedia (German: Bozen).

Language[edit]

Austrians speak German (Higher German to be precise; a dialect it shares with Bavaria and Eastern Switzerland. And Austrians can even be understood by Germans to an extent, unlike speakers of Swiss German) and have a Germanic culture but the majority don't want to be part of Germany, resulting from pan-Germanism becoming associated with Nazism and the rise of a civic Austrian nationalism.

Tendency for fascism[edit]

Austria is occasionally the laughingstock/demon-harbinger of Europe, because they periodically elect a large proportion of neo-fascists to power. In 2008, Jörg Haider's party (along with a rival right-wing party) sent a large enough delegation to parliament that the two parties could have ruled with a majority.[note 2] A few weeks later, Haider died in a car crash, thus providing tentative proof for the existence of God.[note 3] In 2016 they almost elected Norbert Hofer, another neo-fascist, as president of the country after the main two parties lost the first round, this time only losing by 0.6% to the Austrian Green Party candidate Alexander Van der Bellen.[1] However, the result was overturned by Austria's Constitutional Court in early July 2016, and so the rerun was held on the 4 December 2016, when van der Bellen won by a margin of 6%.

Fucking[edit]

City limits sign in Fucking, Austria (frequently stolen, possibly by whoever owns the bicycle behind it)

Fucking is a village in Austria. It's pronounced "FOO-king." This is because of intense petitioning from its Scottish residents. Or rather because of German pronunciation rules.

What did you think you would find when you typed "fucking" into the search box? And they want to make a light beer in the village, and in German, light beer is called 'hell'. Make of that what you will.

Famous people from Austria (not necessarily from Fucking, Austria)[edit]

No Nazis, never, no![edit]

No Nazis. And those on the picture that are Nazis are not Austrian. Honest!

Despite being ruled by a totalitarian dictatorshipWikipedia for most of the 1930s and annexed into Nazi Germany in 1938, Austria somehow managed to convince itself and the world after World War II that not only was it not a part of Nazi Germany, no it had been "Hitler's First Victim" and while there may have been a couple of Nazis in Austria, who betrayed the country and sold it to the Nazis, the vast majority of the country had been as opposed to the Nazis as anybody can be. Of course, this was a blatant fiction and there were concentration campsWikipedia in Austria, Austrians joined the SS and the German army as volunteers[note 5] and Austrians participated in war crimes. After the war, Austria was briefly partitioned with Vienna split into four sectors similar to Berlin, but the Austrians managed to get an agreement with the four occupying powers that Austria could reconstitute itself as a fully sovereign state on the condition of a) no annexation or union with Germany and b) political neutrality in the Cold War. Austria did quite good for itself and even managed to get one of theirs elected UN Secretary-General,Wikipedia because nobody in Austria was ever a Nazi nor would nobody never be no Nazi never.

The flag[edit]

Austria has had its current flag since before it became a country in the modern sense. Legend has it that it is based on one Babenberg of yore who went out to battle in a white shirt with a broad belt and when he returned the shirt was soaked in blood everywhere but under the belt.

See also[edit]

Notes[edit]

  1. Other countries have jumped on the Schnitzel bandwagon as well. See the Wikipedia article on Schnitzel.
  2. It was even worse in 1999Wikipedia, causing the EU and Israel to sanction the fuck out of the country until it was ensured he couldn't get into power.
  3. Or perhaps that driving a speeding car while drunk is a pretty bad idea
  4. He lived in Salzburg, which at the time wasn't part of Austria.
  5. Although they certainly weren't unique in this regard.Wikipedia

External links[edit]

References[edit]