Essay talk:Criticism of "Criticism of Socialism"

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Keep up the good work![edit]

Cheers. A somebody. (talk) 03:04, 30 June 2023 (UTC)

"it's"[edit]

You're not using that contraction correctly. I've counted 10 times of its misuse on this page. --It's-a me, Lgm sigpic.png LeftyGreenMario! 15:45, 1 July 2023 (UTC)

How dare you?! Do you really think OSD should have to take this from a peasant with no formal training in logic??? Pizza SLICE.gifChef Moosolini’s Ristorante ItalianoMake a Reservation 16:24, 1 July 2023 (UTC)
Training in logic? Well, I think I know how to redirect some pipes and untangle the spaghetti. --It's-a me, Lgm sigpic.png LeftyGreenMario! 16:37, 1 July 2023 (UTC)
This is a short lesson to why you don't edit on mobile. - Only Sort of Dumb (talk) 16:42, 1 July 2023 (UTC)
Thank you for the catch. Things would have been completely illegible otherwise. - Only Sort of Dumb (talk) 16:45, 1 July 2023 (UTC)
Yep. The wordy, clumsy prose was already difficult enough for me to maintain interest. --It's-a me, Lgm sigpic.png LeftyGreenMario! 17:46, 1 July 2023 (UTC)
Fair enough, because at the end of the day it's style over substance right? Nothing passive aggressive or petty in pointing that out. - Only Sort of Dumb (talk) 17:50, 1 July 2023 (UTC)

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less callous criticism by lgm[edit]

The talk page for that article you're criticizing, I could read more easily and I found myself siding more with the criticism there. Again the issue I had with the essay is mainly wordy, difficult to follow, begins with a combative tone, but I do think the essay has similar arguments I'd make against that criticism of socialism page. I'm socialist too, and I did find that article criticizng socialism very off, like incomplete, scope is too narrow to be a good page applicable to socialism as an ideology, definitions aren't good (a fundamental flaw of that page). And so on. I still advise you to cut down on verbiage. Just get to the point. Limit your series of prepositional phrases, don't spend too much on introduction. It's very crucial you keep your introduction acceptable because if it's overly wordy, people risk just not wanting to read the work. I've attempted to read your work a few times. It's difficult. --It's-a me, Lgm sigpic.png LeftyGreenMario! 18:13, 8 July 2023 (UTC)

Being concise is something I struggle with and it’s been noted by my professors in the past. It is not surprising it would also be an issue here. I am going back and forth, re-reading sentences, and seeing where I can “trim the fat”. I think in regards to the introduction I may re-work it entirely to present a single thesis, and try to keep it as short as possible. I may also plug some passages into a grammar checker. Reading the talk page about the possibility of the “criticism of socialism” page being moved into the essay space had me consider abandoning this project all together. I still found to be a valuable learning experience and I may just compile the sources I used for future use. I am starting to feel bad for Gee, as I think he is getting too much attention and conflict while in an emotionally difficult space. I don’t want to contribute too much to that. - Only Sort of Dumb (talk) 20:44, 9 July 2023 (UTC)