Germany, being both a democracy and quite big, has many political parties. Being a functioning democracy, the system enables more than just one or two of these parties to actually have a say. This applies to local, regional and federal politics.
As usual with most multi-party democracies, the big parties are the dull, sensible ones and the fun/odd/repellent ones are the smallest.
Despite its name (German: Die Union) these are legally two parties and have nothing to do with worker unions - they aren't federalists either; their name derives from the constituent parties both sharing the "U" and that the term "Union" has nothing to do with worker's rights in Germany. The people fighting for them are usually member of a Gewerkschaft.
They are both center-right parties with Catholic roots, but they also have Protestants, atheists, Muslims and Jews in their ranks - although non-Christians aren't usually the ones high up in the ranks. As part of a deal between the two parties, the CSU only has candidates in Bavaria and the CDU keeps its fingers out of Bavaria - also they act as one party on a federal level. And yes, that is as chaotic as it sounds.
Christian Democratic Union of Germany
Christian Social Union in Bavaria
- German: Christlich-Soziale Union in Bayern (CSU)
- Political position: Christian democracy, conservatism, Bavarian regionalism (centre-right)
- Color: ■ Blue (official), ■ Black (unofficial)
- Specialty: Even though they are a bit more socially conservative than their CDU colleagues: If one judges by their level of populism and bumpkin-ness, one might call them the German tea party-equivalent. However, they are (believe it or not!) far less successful at concealing their idiocy than teabaggers are, yet now and then dreadfully more successful at getting Bavarians to like their provincialist bullshit. (“Not 48, 49 or 50 Percent—no, remember this: 76!”, His Majesty King Horst Seehofer of Bavaria commenting a 2014 survey on whether people consider him a good governor.) In many respects, Bavaria is the Texas of Germany[note 1] and so the CSU has been similarly dominant in Bavaria as have been socially conservative politicians in Texas. Outside of Bavaria both the CSU and Bavaria are often laughed about or loathed - even by CDU voters. That being said the federalist nature of Germany makes it possible that a loudmouth in Munich (and all successful CSU leaders have been loudmouths) can get his way just by screaming loud enough. This most recently happened with a disastrous road toll law that everyone said will violate European law and nobody outside the CSU ever wanted - yet it still passed. The law never got enacted because most predictibaly, the European Court of Justice decided in 2019 that it in really violated European law and the whole thing was voided.
Social Democratic Party of Germany
Their new (2019) logo, much better than its bland predecessor.
- German: Sozialdemokratische Partei Deutschlands (SPD)
- Political position: Social democracy, progressivism (centre-left)
- Color: ■ Red (official)
- History: 150 years old, the SPD is slightly older than Germany itself (as a legal entity). After the German Revolution of 1918, splits occurred - mostly due to a vote on World War I - that later formed the USPD and the KPD (which later became a soviet entity). In the early post-WWI days, the SPD faced conflicts with the aforementioned far-left groups and, due to the Treaty of Versailles, used the Freikorps to prevent an alleged communist coup d'état in Germany. This led to still prevailing deep conflicts with several left-wing groups and to a deep split in the labor movement of the Weimar Republic, helping to pave the way to the Nazi takeover. After WWII and the fission of Germany in two, the SPD in West Germany became one of the biggest parties, while in the East they were forced into a merger with the KPD to form the SED, under the threat of execution by the Stasi. They currently have two factions, more centre-left Keynesians and Third Way advocates. The Third Way was in control under Gerhard Schröder, though it's been argued by the party's left-wing that Schröder's policies hurt the party in the 2005 elections, as he was viewed as undermining the welfare state in Germany. They have been the largest party in the Bundestag since 2021, with Olaf Scholz leading a coalition government.
Alliance '90/The Greens
Basically a generic Green Party logo.
- German: Bündnis 90/Die Grünen (GRÜNE; and various regional variations)
- Political position: Environmentalism, social liberalism, green liberalism, feminism, grassroots politics (centre-left)
- Color: ■ Green (official)
- History: Began as a bunch of hippies that wanted to save the earth in the seventies, later joined with various human rights parties from East Germany that before merged to 'Alliance 90'. First represented in federal parliament after the (snap) 1983 election, they have been represented with at least one MdB[note 2] in every Bundestag since, however, their representation after the 1990 elections only amounted to eight east German representatives, as they failed to make the 5.0% threshold in the west. In 1998 they formed a coalition with the SPD and became one of the governing parties. After Stuttgart 21 and the Fukushima nuclear disaster their votes went up as high as 30% (from about 10% before). Due to the aforementioned factors the Prime Minister (think governor) of Southwestern Baden Württemberg is now a member of their party. Which is funny given that Baden Württemberg is largely a catholic and conservative state (though not as conservative and catholic as neighboring Bavaria). Although once regarded as a further left alternative to the SPD, it seems more willing than the SPD to coalition with the CDU/CSU. Since the invasion of Ukraine, the party is often the most vocal in its support.
- Trivia: With Cem Özdemir, they are the first party to have a Muslim in the party head (he isn't in there alone, as the head of the Greens are always one female and one male member).
Free Democratic Party
This shade of yellow should be illegal.
- German: Freie Demokratische Partei (FDP)
- Political position: European "Liberalism", Classical liberalism (center to center-right)
- Color: ■ Yellow, ■ Blue
- History: Sometimes they were in the government, sometimes they weren't. Because of changing coalition partners, they are the party which has been in government for the most time. The last important head of their party was famous for being gay and equally infamous for living in a libertarian dreamland.[note 3] Their current man in charge is Christian Lindner. In the 2013 federal election, the party did not surpass the five-percent threshold and thus failed to enter the Bundestag for the first time in their history. Plus, they lost several important Landtage (state-level equivalents to the Bundestag), too. As a result, they were considered essentially dead, although it was observed that the corpse was still twitching and may rise from the grave in the next elections. In the run up to the 2013 election (where they were thrown out of parliament) they were the butt of many a joke, especially on the German copy of the daily show "heute-show". Given the rise of the AfD (see below) some people started to miss them, as whatever their faults, they were at least liberal on societal issues and civil rights and did not espouse xenophobic BS. In the 2017 election, the FDP got 10.7% of the vote, mostly because of their pin-up-boy Christian Lindner, thus allowing their reentry to the Bundestag with 80 seats, becoming the fourth-largest party in the parliament.
Has nobody in Germany
ever spent more than five minutes designing these?
- German: Die Linke (LINKE)
- Political position: Democratic socialism, left-wing populism (left-wing)[note 4]
- Color: ■ Red, ■ Purple
- History: Founded in 2007 as a merger of PDS (successor of the SED, the party that was in charge in the East Germany) and the WASG, which was founded by somebody who has enough of the "liberal" policies of the SPD.
- Trivia: In the Thuringan state election in 2014, Die Linke became the second strongest party (behind CDU). They subsequently formed a coalition with the SPD and the Greens (by itself no rare occurrence in the East German state parliaments), making up the new state's government with the local Linke leader as Prime Minister.
Alternative for Germany
A bit friendlier-looking than your usual far right logo.
- German: Alternative für Deutschland (AfD)
- Political position: right wing populism, national conservatism, anti-Muslim, anti-feminism and ultra-nationalism (far-right)
- Color: ■ Light blue (official), ■ Red
- History: Founded in recent years by right wing CDU/CSU voters and (former) members dissatisfied with Merkel's policies being "too left wing". Add in some cooks and crazies and the odd economy professor et voila a Frankenstein party is born. In 2013 they polled at 4.7% just 0.3 percentage points shy of seats in Berlin. They have managed to poll rather well in state elections, particularly in Saxony where they got almost ten percent (most of it former NPD voters). In 2017, they received 12.6% of the vote, unfortunately becoming the third-largest party in the Bundestag. Since 2018, the blue-brown AfD is represented in all 16 German state parliaments and the national parliament.
- Trivia: Cooperation (or not) with them represents a similar problem for the CDU/CSU as the Linke does for the SPD. Sadly the SPD does not thus far milk this topic for all its potential. Became 3rd largest bloc in 2017, after CDU/CSU and SPD; the latter’s decision to jump into bed with the former leaves AfD as the leader of the opposition.
More minor parties, with some relevance nonetheless
In German federal elections, parties only get seats in Bundestag if they receive more than 5% of the vote[note 5]. This is considered by some a stability issue, who claim, that in the old days of the Weimar Republic too many Parties had seats and democracy banned itself. In public discourse, however, people are also praising it it as an instrument to keep Nazis out of the parliaments. Whether due to this 5% "hurdle" (which in some form exists in most European representative democracies) or due to other factors, the German party system has proved remarkably stable for a long time and only in the last decade or so some movement has occurred, starting with the emergence of a party to the left of the SPD with a chance to enter the Bundestag and culminating (for now) with the FDP - the party with the longest combined time in government to date - getting thrown out of the Bundestag.
- Political leaning: Centrism, Liberalism, Conservatism
- Color: Blue, Orange
- Name in German: Freie Wähler
- History: Party that is made up of localy organized groups of voters. They advocate for more self-administration of the municipalities and more direct democracy. Entered the bavarian parliament with 21 seats and 10.2% for the first time in 2008. They won a respectevly 3.9% at the Thuringian state election of 2009, 2.3% at the Rhineland-Palatinate state election in 2011 and 2,8% at the Saxony-Anhalt state election in 2011 but weren't able to get into one of these parliaments. At the 2013 german federal election they reached 1% and lost 2 seats and 1.2% at the bavarian election in the same year. At the 2017 german federal election they reached 1% again. At the bavarian state election of 2018 they confirmed their good opinion polling results and got the third strongest party with 11.6% and formed a coalition with the struggeling CSU. They are for the first time in government responsibility under the cabinet of Markus Söder (CSU). Their current leader is Hubert Aiwanger.
Pirate Party Germany
Finally a well designed party logo.
- Political leaning: "digital liberalism," libertarianism, social progressivism, social democracy, individualism, e-democracy
- Colors: Black/Orange
- Short: PIRATEN
- Name in German: Piratenpartei Deutschland
- History: Founded in 2006 and modeled after the Swedish Piratpartiet, they reached 'only' 2% in the 2009 Bundestag elections and therefore were the biggest party in Germany that had no seats in the Bundestag before the AfD happened. Won 8.9% in regional elections in Berlin in 2011, which lead to speculations that they might be the next party to get into the Bundestag. However, in more recent times their support in the polls has collapsed and instead of making it into the Bundestag they have to fear for their relevancy even at the local and state level. Their worst fears were realized in 2017, when they lost all of their seats in the state parliaments.
National Democratic Party of Germany
When you don't have the balls to just use a swastika.
- Political leaning: Far-right, "democracy"Do You Believe That?, ethnic nationalism, Neo-Nazism
Brown (unofficial)[note 6], Black/White/Red (official)
- Short: NPD
- Name in German:
Nazipartei Nationaldemokratische Partei Deutschlands – Die Volksunion
- History: Founded in 1964, several tries to ban the party failed. Also known as a "Nazi Party" and due to them being extreme wingnuts and Germany's past, it's probably not that far off to stray into Godwin County about them.
- See Also: PEGIDA, which the NPD is related to.
The laughing stock, the others and just weird ones
For the matter of disk space we can't list all the parties - also that list would be so long you wouldn't want to read it, so here are the highlights:
- Party of Bible-abiding Christians (PBC, Partei Bibeltreuer Christen): Evangelical Christians, although much more left than you might think. They really don't like abortion, sex and the gays. They also say that all states without God are designed to fail - using Nazis and Communists as an example.
- The PARTY ("Die PARTEI", which is an humourous acronym for "Partei für Arbeit, Rechtsstaat, Tierschutz, Elitenförderung und basisdemokratische Initiative"): Founded out of the satirical magazine "Titanic." Proposes to build up the Wall again – and they said they aren't kidding. Their head is an MEP and vlogs about his parliamentary activities.
- The New Liberals (Neue Liberale): Social liberal party made up of members who split from the Free Democratic Party in order to promote social liberalism in Germany. They disagreed with FDP's economic neoliberalism and seek to create legislative equality.
- Anarchist Pogo Party of Germany (APPD, Anarchistische Pogo-Partei Deutschlands): Calls itself the party of social parasites. Advocates special zones for Nazis, racists, fascists and child molesters, free beer and more freedom. No they aren't joking... Supposedly not.
- The Violetes (Die Violetten, Die Violetten – für spirituelle Politik): Advocates a "more spiritual" political consensus.
- Bavaria Party (BP, Bayernpartei): A separatist party in the Land of Bavaria - if the rest of Germany would care is not known. The Bavarians sure wouldn't, seeing as the last time BP won any seats in the state parliament was in 1962.
- Civil Rights Movement Solidarity (BüSo, Bürgerrechtsbewegung Solidarität): Lyndon LaRouche's German arm of his
sect party led by his equally deranged wife Helga Zepp-LaRouche. The party does the usual LaRouche-movement antics and its booths can usually be found not far away from Scientology booths in larger cities. Ironically the party seems to have no opinion on domestic German politics because it seems more important to make the current POTUS appear as a bloodthirsty tyrant and trying to make Putin look like the second coming of the Buddha.
- Die Friesen Friesian nationalist party based in the far northwest of Germany.
- Lusatian Alliance Representing the interests of Wends (aka Sorbs or Lusatians), a slavic minority in the eastern edge of Germany.
- South Schleswig Voters' Association (Südschleswigscher Wählerverband, SSW) For those Germans who consider themselves a bit Danish. After the 2012 elections, they became a junior partner in the coalition government of Schleswig-Holstein.
- V-Party³ (V-Partei³): Party for vegetarians and vegans and advocating for animal rights, enviromentalism and feminism. The ³ stands for their substantive diversity.
- The Right (Die Rechte): Far-right and Neo-Nazi-istic Party. Their name is obviously a mocking of the party "The Left" (Die Linke). So creative...
- Party of Reason (Partei der Vernunft): Party for wannabe intellectuals and right-wing conspiracy theorists that don't like to admit that they are right-wing conspiracy theorists. They claim to be libertarians and don't like the EU and scientific facts.
- Volt Germany (Volt Deutschland): The German branch of the pan-European party. A progressive euro-federalist party, basically wants the European Union to be a United States of Europe. Able to get a MEP in the European Parliament. Basically Farage's nightmare 
They didn't make it
- National Socialist German Workers' Party (NSDAP, Nationalsozialistische Deutsche Arbeiterpartei): Banned after WWII for obvious reasons.
- Communist Party of Germany (KPD, Kommunistische Partei Deutschlands): Banned in 1956 as dangerous to the Constitution. There have been several small parties and groups that tried to revive it and today communists are organized in dozens of different parties.
- Socialist Unity Party of Germany (SED, Sozialistische Einheitspartei Deutschlands): Ruling party of East Germany. Dissolved in 1990 and many of its members joined the successor party "PDS", which became today's "The Left" (see above).
- ↑ i.e. a socially conservative south-eastern state that used to be its own country and still has separatist tendencies. While both were originally known for farming and herding cattle, they have recently come to a lot of money. Now imagine Texas had its own party and what you get closely resembles the CSU
- ↑ Mitglied des Bundestages, the German way of saying federal MP
- ↑ Although that is only if you compare him to the rest of the German political landscape. Most libertarians from, say, the US would call still him a pinko commie for wanting to just "curtail" the welfare state instead of just canning it.
- ↑ There are also some far-left communist factions, but they are not the mainstream of the party. In addition, moderate liberal-socialists have a significant stake in the party.
- ↑ Or win three or more constituencies (German election laws are weird). The latter happened once in 1994 and almost happened again in 2002 when the PDS (now the Left party) got two constituencies while losing a third to the Greens by a razor thin margin
- ↑ brown is the political color of Nazism in Germany (after the brown uniforms of the SA)