| Frogs and swastikas|
|Their loud fanboys|
“”Nigel Farage has sent a letter to Nigel Farage saying 'I resign'. And Nigel Farage has responded to Nigel Farage saying 'I refuse'. That's the way it works there.
|—German MEP Manfred Weber on the first time Farage resigned from his party.|
Nigel Farage, MEP is
just an ordinary bloke an oily tick, pub bore, and (occasional) British politician. He was leader of the UK Independence Party (UKIP) from 2006-09 and again from 2010-16 (minus 18 days in September when Diane James was leader). He likes to blame immigration for everything, including traffic on the M4.
Farage is a key figurehead of the Brexit campaign—Herostratus for the 21st century. He is without doubt the most successful failure in the history of British politics: Five times unelected, including before the EU referendum. Without a useless debater like David Cameron, the Brexit referendum would not have even taken place. Cameron kicked the ball into his own net and like all good goal hangers Farage claimed he scored it.
Farage also writes articles and opinion pieces for The Independent of all places, occasionally attracting the ire of some readers. In 2015, he began contributing regular blog posts to American far-right tabloid of ill repute, Breitbart.com. Breitbart London's managing editor, Raheem Kassam, acted as Farage's "campaign manager", roommate and steam room companion.[No, not The Onion] He joined Fox News as a contributor in 2017.
This is the same person who used to sing "gas em' all" at university, and boasted that his initials were N.F. (National Front), according to several of his teachers. Of course his defenders will say this was either youthful antics or a bogus claim from an unverifiable source. But seeing as now he refers to Romanians as criminals, the Polish as job-stealers, complains that London is "unrecognisable" as a British city (we all know what he meant), and supports Trump's Muslim ban, this qualifies as a "no shit, Sherlock" moment.
“”I welcome parody and satire in our politics.
Farage first stood down as Leader of the United Kingdom Independence Party in 2009 to contest Speaker John Bercow's safe Conservative seat of Buckingham, despite the long tradition that the Speaker (who unlike in the United States is not a political figure as long as he holds the office of Speaker) stand unopposed. The effect of Farage standing was identical to Bercow standing unopposed. In 2015, Farage again resigned as party leader after he failed to win the seat of South Thanet; losing by 2,812 votes,and following his earlier promise that he would resign if he failed to be elected. However, as much as he "wanted to spend the summer fishing, walking, and... in the [EU] where all hell is currently breaking loose", he agreed to remain as the leader of UKIP after the party chair rejected his resignation. Following the outcome of the European referendum, Farage once again resigned as leader of the party to begin his retirement from politics as he said that he had achieved his political ambition of British withdrawal from the EU. Following a chaotic leadership election, new member Diane James was elected leader despite neither wanting the job nor being the party favourite. Refusing to accept the election result,
Streisand Farage again stepped in as "interim" UKIP leader. The public was hardly surprised; they were already cracking jokes about his inevitable return (in a repeat of his 2015 performance).
Raheem Kassam oversaw Farage's loss of his South Thanet constituency by several thousand votes, followed by vicious party in-fighting. He shouldered much of the blame for Farage's loss from those within UKIP, who accused Kassam of prioritising Farage's courtship of the American far-right over actually campaigning around his constituency.
Stopped clock moments
Farage's libertarian attitude towards the War on Drugs and the decriminalisation of cannabis has attracted the ire of social conservatives such as Peter Hitchens. Farage also opposed the Iraq War from the onset. Farage himself has claimed he was a libertarian until he became a father, when he started to devote more time moaning about Miley Cyrus' allegedly negative influence on his daughter.
HIV and immigrants
During the Leader's debates, Nigel Farage attracted controversy when he suggested that HIV-positive migrants should not enter the country (a claim which is not supported by the evidence). This is not the first time he has made these comments, which have been condemned by those in his party as "plain wrong", and by charities that work with HIV/AIDS individuals as showing "an outrageous lack of understanding".
For "UK", read "England" and definitely not another country it united with. Whilst visiting Scotland in May 2013, Nigel Farage hid inside a pub in Edinburgh due to a protest attended by left-wing students, many of whom were English. Amongst the protestors were also the Scottish Labour party researcher April Cumming, a representative on the Young Labour National Committee James Moohan and a Labour Sabbatical Officer at Edinburgh University Max Crema. Nevertheless, Respect Party MP for Bradford West George Galloway duly accused the SNP of orchestrating the "anti-English mob". However, Mike Shaw, President of Edinburgh University Students' Association's Socialist Society, tweeted "as a proud Englishman, arrested yesterday for protesting, I dispute these claims." However, the fringe Radical Independence Campaign did help to organise the protest.
“”We've done it all without a single bullet being fired!
|—Jo Cox might disagree|
While technically still out of power, Farage was part of the triumvirate pushing the UK referendum on Brexit, alongst with Conservative Cabinet Ministers Boris Johnson and Michael Gove. He won millions of votes by basically going around the country and drinking pints with people.
To the surprise (again) of every sensible Labour voter, the Remain campaign lost by a slim margin. The funny thing? The only reason for the vote was that Cameron planned to use it as a political tool, like the 2014 Scottish independence referendum. (David Cameron: The man who turned off the United Kingdom by accident.) As Scotland and Northern Ireland voted to Remain with larger margins than England and Wales who voted to Leave, Scottish First Minister Nicola Sturgeon openly threatened secession once the results were announced.
Although he has made sure to steer clear of the worst of Donald Trump's rhetoric on sexually assaulting women, Muslim bans and calling all Mexicans rapists, Nigel Farage has appeared on Alex Jones' show discussing the negative legacy of Barack Obama, and his fellow Brexiter (-cum-borderline Birther) Boris Johnson claimed that Obama had "grudge" against Britain "because of Kenya and colonisation". Farage has also called Trump's claims of raping and sexually assaulting women as "alpha-male boasting", which prompted a harsh backlash from UKIP MEPs, with one senior figure saying that Farage was "contradicting himself [by] saying that what Donald Trump said about groping women was just alpha male banter" yet kicked up a fuss over the alleged assaults by migrants in Cologne, adding that "It's total hypocrisy to say it's OK if a rich, white man who's running for president does it."
Although claiming not to support Donald Trump completely, Farage has noted similarities with his and Trump's "concerns", especially regarding immigration. In response to a reporter's question on the threat of a Trump presidency, Farage has stated that he would never vote for Hillary as she is crooked, whilst at the same time not commenting on whether he'd vote for Trump, saying that Trump would not be "as extreme in office as we might fear".
He then began working as a campaign adviser to Trump's campaign. Because apparently Brexit means deporting our useless politicians to the US (We're so sorry). After Trump won, he claimed credit for the victory and joked about him sexually assaulting Theresa May. Because he wasn't a terrible enough person already.
On 8th November 2016, Farage said he would like a role in the future Trump administration as the US ambassador to the EU (as if they haven't had enough of him already!). Lo and behold, on the 22nd of November 2016, president-elect Donald Trump thought out loud on Twitter that the Farage be appointed as the British ambassador to the United States, arguing that "many people" would like to see this happen. There was, however, one small problem with this plan: the UK Government. Downing Street quickly responded to Trump's comments by saying "we already have an excellent ambassador to the US", fuck you very much. Nige has accused the current ambassador, Sir Kim Darroch, of being "a committed Europhile" and big-time Ukip donor Arron Banks said Darroch "spent his whole time greasing up to the Hillary campaign" during her presidential campaign. How diplomatic!
Farage has turned down Brexit support from Marine Le Pen in the past, accusing her of antisemitism and racism and even viewing her as detrimental to the Brexit cause. Prominent members of Vote Leave have also called upon Le Pen to be banned from the UK because of her far-right political views. This, despite the fact that UKIP has offered a pact in the European Parliament to the misogynist Holocaust denier and Polish MEP Robert Iwaszkiewicz (who said UKIP hated the Poles?!) in order to secure EU funding, and called Iwaszkiewicz's comments on beating women as "a joke".
In light of Farage turning up for Trump and campaigning for the 2016 presidential election, he was asked by a journalist on whether he intended to campaign for any French or German Eurosceptic parties in their respective 2017 elections. In response, a drunk Farage only mentioned the French Front National, led by Marine Le Pen, and said the following:
Look. I like Marine Le Pen. I've met her. I've had dinner with her. But I can't support her party, because it's a Vichyite rump and antisemitic. Her father is a ghastly old fascist. I think Marine wants to fuck me, you know. I think she wants to fuck me.
Farage, of course, denies all allegations. He would never want to have sex with a Frenchwoman!
You sit on a throne of lies
The voting public continue to put their faith in people like this for whom "my word" means absolutely nothing.
- If you're on a train with Nigel "I'm not a racist, but fucking Romanians" Farage in the carriage, he gets all bothered when he can't listen in on your conversation. Even though his kids speak German. Nigel Farage also admitted he constantly chanted TWO WORLD WARS ONE WORLD CUP at his German wife before his 17-year marriage collapsed. The man has turned the United Kingdom into an allegory of his failed marriage.
- That's right, this jackanapes is allowed into the European Parliament. And he's been the main cause of European antipathy for the UK in the last couple of years. Considering UKIP's opposition to the European Union, one assumes they would be attending the European Parliament every day to inform on/thwart the socialist EU agenda! Er, not quite...
- Farage ranks #1 on the least-active UK MEPs, and of the other 12, they are either supporters of UKIP or Eurosceptic Conservatives. A rather bizarre stunt by the Remain and Leave campaign, which involved Bob Geldof and Farage chasing each other down the River Thames highlights the fact that, as Greenpeace had previously noted:
"Over the three years that Nigel Farage was a member of the European Parliament Fisheries Committee, he attended one out of 42 meetings. Greenpeace research [...] shows that during the three major votes to fix the flaws of the Common Fisheries Policy (CFP), Nigel Farage was in the building but failed to vote in favour of improving the legislation." - Kate Blagojevic
- UKIP make a lot of noise about financial probity, so it will come as no surprise that Farage has reneged on his promise to publish his MEP allowances quarterly, as debated at length with Ian Hislop on Have I Got News For You while repeatedly calling Denis MacShane a "scumbag" (which is fair enough).
- I'll resign if I don't win South Thanet. He did, indeed, "resign"... then quickly un-resigned, and carried on as if nothing happened. Figel Nirage is tipped to be the next UKIP leader.
- Farage declared that a 52-48 result (for Remain) would be "unfinished business" and grounds for a second referendum. Funny how he dropped that issue once his side became the 52%.
- Oh mate, it's gonna be great! They're planning on building one hospital a week with £350 mil they're sending to the EU! Except they don't actually send that much to the EU... You do realise, voters, that he's still a Member of the European Parliament. Europe has little-to-no say on fiscal policy in Britain. He was never in a position to keep that pledge, but "Leave" voters fell for it like children in a sweet shop. (He has openly said he would privatise the NHS, how people missed this is beyond insane.) Already a broken promise, not even 24 hours in.
- He doesn't even make a good nationalist. You'd think he'd be dying to live in the newly-independent UK. What's the point if he's going to move to America so he can hoover Trump's carpets? "We would certainly never think of visiting the United States and telling the US public how to vote..." (Not sure he gets to complain about bankers, given that he was one.)
- This supposed über-patriot tried to get around Downing Street via the White House. To put it another way: he leveraged a foreign government's power to influence policy in the UK Government. Namely by having Trump pressure them into making him an ambassador. And no one should ever let him forget his craven, toadying call for May to apologise to Trump (on the UK's behalf!) because some officials insulted him.
- "We won it without a bullet being fired"... At anyone I care about. It was a Remain-supporting Labour MP who was gunned down last year, not a Kipper. Farage's opponents have more reason to fear, yet he and his cronies are terrified of leaving the house. This is the same Nigel Farage who pretended "liberals" had cut the brakes on his car. His private plane was taken out by a liberal ground-to-air missile.
So many glittering alternate realities
Farage was injured in a plane crash on May 6th 2010. This was due to the plane, a PZL-104 Wilga 35A for plane nerds, being an Eastern European immigrant. Another time, all of the wheels fell off his car whilst driving.
Something that summs it all
“”Behind that image is someone who isn't bright. I spent two hours trying to explain to him the difference between 'it's' with an apostrophe and 'its' without and he just flounced out the office saying, 'I just don't understand words.'
|—Alan Sked, UKIP founder, on Nigel Farage|
- Enoch Powell - Farage's much more intelligent intellectual predecessor
- Ron Paul — He's Ron Paul done the English way: badly and on a budget!
- Geert Wilders — I will not allow the government to raise the minimum age for pensions! *literally an hour after the results come in* Nope, pension age is not a breaking point.
- UKIP if you want to, the lady's not for snoring
- Nigel Farage's Teeth Facing Deportation for Not Being White
- We will not go gently into the night!
- Things You Probably Don't Know About Nigel Farage, via BuzzFeed
- Harris, Sarah Ann. "Nigel Farage Heckled By MEPs In European Parliament As 'Election Loser'". The Huffington Post.
- "I'm Just an Ordinary Bloke" song, Newzoids, 28 April 2015 And totally not an investment banker looking to enrich myself and my disaster-capitalist cronies.
- UKIP leader Nigel Farage stands down, BBC News, 4 July 2016]
- Simons, Ned (21 November 2016). "Diane James Quits Ukip". The Huffington Post.
- Rawlinson, Kevin, "Farage blames immigration for traffic on M4 after no-show at Ukip reception ", Guardian (Last modified on 2/17/17 9:10 EST).
- Boyle, Darren. "Amol Rajan defends decision to give Nigel Farage weekly Independent column". (28 December 2013). Press Gazette
- Media Mole. "The dog-whistle racism in Nigel Farage's Independent column is OK because he likes cricket" (24 October 2014). New Statesman.
- Nigel's contributions to the site may be found here. Brace yourselves.
- The Guardian "Ukip insider Raheem Kassam: ‘We had to lock HQ doors because some people were too embarrassing to be seen’"
- Jeory, Ted, "Nigel boasted about his NF initials and sang ‘gas them all’, claims schoolfriend", Independent (8/11/16 at 21:12 BST)
- "Letter reveals teacher branded Ukip leader Nigel Farage a 'fascist'". The Independent. 19 September 2013.
- "Racist and neo-facist views" – a Dulwich College teacher's letter about Nigel Farage in 1981, unearthed by Channel 4 News in this article.
- Nigel Farage. "The Pub Landlord will be running against me? Now that's what I call some serious opposition!". The Independent. 15 January 2015.
- OK, so technically he was running not as a Conservative, but as the speaker seeking re-election. Whatever.
- "Farage stays as UKIP leader after resignation rejected". BBC News.
- UKIP, Treason and Plot Critical Reaction. Reprinted on the "Junius on UKIP" blog here.
- The Commentator "Farage urged to disown 'weird' Raheem Kassam after 'repulsive attack' on deputy"
- "Nigel Farage: I’ve Never Done Drugs, But Legalise Them", Huffington Post United Kingdom.
- Hitchens, Peter. "Nigel Farage, Drugs and a Major Reason for not liking UKIP" (21 October 2013). Mail on Sunday.
- "UKIP Nigel Farage on the Iraq War" (1 January 2009) (YouTube, channel voteleavemedia)
- "Nigel Farage: I was a libertarian until I became a father" (5 November 2013). ITV News.
- Dina Rickman. Nigel Farage could not be more wrong about HIV and immigration, The Independent. May 2015.
- Nicholas Watt. Keep HIV-positive migrants out of Britain, says Ukip's Nigel Farage, The Grauniad. 10 October 2014.
- Paul Vale. Douglas Carswell Reignites Spat With Nigel Farage, Calls The Ukip's Chief's HIV Election Comments 'Plain Wrong', The Huffington Post. 31 May 2015.
- "Why Farageism stops at the border". New Statesman.
- "Galloway and SNP in Tit-for-Tat Row over Farage Protests". International Business Times. 17 May 2013.
- Gilbride, Paul (17 May 2013). "Nigel Farage furious at Alex Salmond over Edinburgh hate mob". The Express.
- "RIC Statement: Farage’s Hatred Not Welcome in Scotland". radicalindependence.org.
- Rowena Mason and Dominic Smith Nigel Farage: the English are biggest victims of racism because of Scots, The Grauniad. Tuesday 28 April 2015 17.09 BST.
- Saul, Heather, "Brexit: Nigel Farage branded 'shameful' for claiming victory 'without a single bullet being fired'", Independent 6.24.16.
- Martinson, Jane; Mason, Rowena; Redden, Molly (15 October 2016). "Nigel Farage backtracks on Donald Trump support amid groping claims". Retrieved on 1 November 2016 – via The Guardian.
- The Alex Jones Channel, (16 December 2009). "Nigel Farage on Alex Jones Tv 1/5:Obama is A Dangerous Man!!". Retrieved on 26 June 2016 – via YouTube.
- "Obama Has A 'Grudge' Against Britain Because His 'Family Is Kenyan,' Says Farage". huffingtonpost.co.uk. 22 April 2016. Retrieved on 26 June 2016.
- Peter Walker (12 October 2016). "Nigel Farage criticised for defending Donald Trump by Ukip MEPs". Retrieved on 1 November 2016 – via The Guardian.
- Mason, Rowena (15 July 2015). "Nigel Farage: I share concerns with Donald Trump". theguardian.com. Retrieved on 26 June 2016.
- europarl, (8 June 2016). "Nigel Farage: I think Hillary Clinton is a crook". Retrieved on 26 June 2016 – via YouTube.
- It's not The Onion, he did actually suggest this.
- Chorley, Matt (22 November 2016). "Our man in Washington? Not a chance, says No 10". The Times of London.
- Elliott, Francis (23 November 2016). "Farage camp attacks ambassador as Trump backs Ukip leader". The Times of London.
- "Farage shoots down Brexit support from French far-right chief Le Pen". rt.com. Retrieved on 1 November 2016.
- "Jewish fury after Ukip's Nigel Farage forms a pact with Holocaust deniers to secure funding from the EU". dailymail.co.uk. Retrieved on 1 November 2016.
- Private Eye No. 1429 (October 2016). p.1
- Rob Waugh (11 October 2016). "'She wants to f*ck me': Did Farage 'do a Trump' with his own locker-room bants?". Metro.co.uk. Retrieved on 1 November 2016.
- "Nigel Farage attacked over Romanians 'slur'", BBC 5.18.14.
- Is Nigel Farage Annoyed by German Speaking Wife & Children? asks caller
- Hope, Christopher, "Nigel Farage admitted he chanted English football songs about the Second World War at his German wife", Telegraph (2/24/17 at 9:50am).
- According to MEPranking.EU. Accessed 28 June 2016.
- No, this actually happened...
- Blagojevic, Kate. "Farage's voting record on fishing 'makes mockery' of new election poster" (9 April 2015).
- Have I Got News For You, Season 44 Episode 5. Via Dailymotion.
- McSmith, Andy, "Ukip leader Nigel Farage resigns after losing South Thanet seat – but promptly says he might run to be new leader", Independent 5.8.15
- "Nigel Farage: Narrow Remain win may lead to second referendum", BBC 5.17.16.
- "Fact Check: Vote Leave's £350m A Week Claim Wrong", LBC 6.13.16.
- Stone, Jon, "EU referendum: Nigel Farage backtracks on Vote Leave's '£350m for the NHS' pledge hours after result", Independent 6.26.16. But they are men of the people! How can they be so deceitful??
- Mason, Rowena, "Film shows Nigel Farage calling for move away from state-funded NHS", Guardian (11/12/14 at 7:29 EST).
- Battersby, Matilda, "Nigel Farage: I’m not going into the jungle, I’m going to work for Trump in the White House", iNews (11/3/16 at 9:25am).
- Parfitt, Tom, "STAY OUT OF IT: Ukip leader Farage warns Obama NOT to wade into EU debate", Express (Updated 3/17/16 at 4:15am).
- "Nigel Farage calls US President Barack Obama a 'loathsome individual'", BBC 11.10.16.
- Foulconbridge, Guy, "Britain to Trump: 'No vacancy' for Farage as ambassador", Reuters (11/22/16 at 9:41am EST).
- Pasha-Robinson, Lucy, "Nigel Farage to ask Americans to 'forgive' British people who criticised Donald Trump, in US trip", Independent (11/27/16 at 5:16 PM BST).
- Connolly, Shaun, "Nigel Farage says he is 'frightened' to leave his home because of liberal media", Independent (2/24/17 at 10:46 GMT).
- McCann, Kate, "Nigel Farage: I made a 'terrible, terrible mistake' over assassination attempt claims", Telegraph (1/8/16 at 10:51AM GMT).
- Poland, if you're wondering.
"PZL-104 Wilga 35/80 performance and specifications". pilotfriend.com.
- "Have wheels fallen off Farage 'assassination plot' story?", Guardian 1.4.16.
- "Ukip founder Alan Sked: 'The party has become a Frankenstein's monster'", The Guardian, 26.5.2014