Fun:No Fucking Cussing Club

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The fucking No Fucking Cussing Club[1] is a shitty fucking American organisation that is against the goddamn use of bloody profanity (fucking cussing) - although there is also a shitty anti-bullying message on the pissing website. It was created by pissy junior-high school student McKay Fucking Hatch in 2007 when he was bloody fourteen.[2] As of 2010, it has over 35-fucking-000 shit-fucking members world-fucking-wide. The website sports the hip, fucked-up, cool-as-fuck banner, "Ya Wanna Hang with Us? Don't Cuss!" at what is presumably a fucking attempt at gaining the cool-persons shit vote.

History[edit]

The No Fucking Cussing Club was first launched by McKay Fucking Hatch in 2007 at his truly shit Junior high-school in South Pasadena, fucking California. McKay, the cunt, says he started it in response to his friend's bloody extensive use of foul fucking language;

They didn't even realize how fucking much they were doing it until I damn well said something. I was actually bloody surprised at how shit they reacted; they fucking accepted my No Fucking Cussing Challenge. But some of the kids said they didn't know how to pissing stop. That's when I started the No Fucking Cussing Club.
—McKay Hatch[2]

Then motherfucking McKay goes on to fucking explain how his fucking shit-stained club membership initially consisted of him and his pussy friends supporting each other as a bunch of cocksuckers, reminding one another not to fucking "cuss" (like a fucking AA support group) but later grew to 50 shitty members. Once in cunting high school, McKay started the No Fucking Cussing Club and gained over 100 members (no shit Sherlock), with damn clean words of the No Fucking Cussing Club quickly spreading across the world via the bloody cum-laden internet.

Media[edit]

That's over 9,000! Including one fucking black guy and chapters in Scotland, Japan, and Russia!

Appearances and promotion[edit]

McKay Fucking Hatch has appeared in media representing the damn NCC once on bloody Leno[3] as well as appearing on Good Fucking Morning America, The Early Show, Fuck News, MSNBC and fucking CNN. In the damn interviews he suggests replacing bloody swear words with words such as "fuck," "frak," and "piss-shit-fuck-cunt-cocksucker-motherfuck-tits-fart-turd-twat," which are likely to result in getting you the fuck beat up if you use them in fucking high school. This bloody approach has been used in the Just a Fucking Call Away communication skills training series, in which it is suggested that fucking customer service advisors substitute the word shitcock for fucking swear words.[4] This has practical value in a motherfucking call centre environment in which overheard swearing can cause shit problems, but the bloody tone of the language is in itself fucking-well likely to betray the intent. It's bloody difficult to imagine "That shitcock customer can stick his computer up his shitcock shitcock" being said in a calm and non-aggressive manner. The damn language is altered while the tone and intent bloody remain.

Music videos[edit]

The No Fucking Cussing Club has also produced a few shitty pissing music videos, which are damn well objectively fucking terrible.[citation NOT needed] The first bloody one[5] is (presumably) supposed to be a shitty rap song which consists of McKay Fucking Hatch "rapping" at the bloody camera, random people fucking mouthing "don't cuss", challenging strange men hanging around at night in parks to the No Fucking Cussing Challenge, and sending a bloody letter to his buggering shit fart government to try and get them to clean up their damn language. The fucking video ends with McKay's father asking a worker at a bloody drive-through fast fucking food restaurant through an intercom to say "don't cuss," and then ordering a bloody shitburger.[6]

"Study"[edit]

Apparently, after implementation at one goddamn school, cussing dropped by fucking 64% and bloody bullying by 90% (although the 90% bullying figure is only mentioned on the homepage, and not the actual study page itself).[7] It's interesting to note that if the 90% drop in bullying was verifiable, the school would fucking certainly be shouting such an achievement from the damn rooftops — yet it makes no mention of it on its shit website. We're not shitting you saying that the study is possibly pulled out of their collective ass, just that... you know... fucking give us the actual data or something.

Reception[edit]

The No Fucking Cussing Club has sparked both positive and shit reaction predominantly in America worldwide, with tens of fucking thousands of emails being sent from both shitty sides of the pissing argument, including some cunting death threats towards Fucking Hatch and his fucking family.[3] Many videos of people laughing at the No Fucking Cussing Club exist on YouTube, with one video[8] accurately depicting the negative public reaction to the No Fucking Cussing Club.

Arguments for and against the No Fucking Cussing Club[edit]

For[edit]

  • Cussing less is fucking pleasant for people who don't like fucking cussing.
  • It's not cool or grown up. Cunt.
  • It is completely fucking voluntary; if people choose not to swear it has literally zero fucking effect on any other cunt out there
  • Why the fuck would anybody want to say those fucking words anyway?
  • There are plenty of alternatives such as felch[9], filch, sugar, flip ma lid, zounds, frig, enculez le beau chat, freak, freeeekin', ship, Edelscheiss, oh my heck, Holy Mermaid, take that you bounder, feck[10], cojones, canine tribadism, fricking, smeg, fudge, fitch, fetch, Ficken sie mein Arschloch and Barack Obama. (Frigging refers to female masturbation by the way)
  • Motherfucker isn't a nice word, in any shape or form. Just isn't, unless you're a sexist, homophobic rapper with a latent Oedipus complex.

Against[edit]

  • Cussing is fucking fun.[11]
  • Saying cusses is fucking power.
  • Cussing makes you look cunting cool and really really fucking pissing clever and stuff and bloody imprssses the girls.
  • Cussing fucking helps fucking accurately fucking express fucking emotion.
  • Many "cuss words" were not considered bad a while ago, like ass and pussy. Conversely, many bloody words deemed okay now used to be considered fucking cusses, like bloody and know.
  • Forcing oneself to not fucking cuss is somewhat a violation of freedom of fucking speech.
  • It is a great form of sexual education.
  • There's no such word as "cuss", it's CURSE ya stupid cunt. Learn to pronounce your fucking intermedial "R" arsehole.
  • Real MAN words: hell, damn, fag, crap, nigga, shit, fuck, pussy, ass, assfag, dicklicking, mothafucka, bullcum, altimgamr

In-between[edit]

  • If you only fucking cuss rarely the bastards shitting know you really fucking mean it. If every third word is damn fucking obscene, it's difficult to show when you're truly fucking pissing upset.
  • Science shows that when pricks who fucking cuss less do cuss, more fucking stress is relieved

Exotic swearwords[edit]

Consider peppering your foul mouthed rants with a few choice words from elsewhere in the English speaking world-

Australia
Dink, fair dinkum, pommy, cobswallower, roo-fucker, wombat buggerer, root, mate, g'day mate
Canada
merde, enculez vous, American, Justin Bieber
England
Shite, wazzock, sheep-shagger, foreigner, European, Bliar, cock, fanny, firestarter, minger, munted, wanker, tosser, gimbly-wimbly
Ireland
Gobshite, feck, Brit, Ian Paisley, ya doorty bugger
Jamaica
Jah bodderer, jammin
New Zealand
kiwi-fucker, Pakeha, Aussie
Scotland
erse, keich, keich ma breeks, coo sharn, shirt lifter, English, bar steward, ya bass, radgie gadgie, bawbag.
South Africa
Apartheid
Wales
coc oen (lamb's penis), feb, Llareggub

See Also[edit]

Necker cube.svg Tired of laughing? RationalWiki has a slightly more serious article about No Cussing Club.

Footnotes[edit]

  1. No Cussing Club homepage Caution: website contains no fucking swearing.
  2. 2.0 2.1 No Cussing Club - How it all Started
  3. 3.0 3.1 http://www.foxnews.com/search-results/m/21793270/no-cussing-club.htm
  4. Just a Call Away
  5. "Don't Cuss" - the No Cussing Club
  6. Yes, really.
  7. No Cussing Club - Study
  8. Video removed due to infringement, but consisted of a short clip of the "Don't Fucking Cuss" song lyric, "if you wanna fucking fuck with us, I don't wanna hear you fucking cuss!" before changing to the Tourette's Guy shouting "fuck you!" at the camera.
  9. Or more formally, "Reverend Felcher" [1]
  10. See Father Ted [2]
  11. Shit.