Liz Cheney

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Liz Cheney in 2013.
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Elizabeth Lynne "Liz" Cheney (1966–) is a daughter of Dick Cheney. She has held some positions within the Bush Administration in the State Department. No, she's not the lesbian one.

In January 2010, she followed in her father's august footsteps by shooting her friend while "hunting" taking a "Waaah, we're all going to die!" approach to the foreign policy of the 44th president Barack Obama, to wit:

President Obama has weakened American security by treating terror as a law enforcement matter,[note 1] refusing to use every tool at his disposal to prevent attacks, and taking his eye off the ball.[1]

Which in English means that she dislikes Obama's policy against torturing prisoners and his failure so far to invade Iran or nuke North Korea.

She thinks the fact that Eric Holder employed some lawyers that gave trials for terrorists at the Justice Department was absolutely treasonous.[2] Even some conservatives called her out for that one.[3]

She is the co-founder and co-chairman of the wingnut fear-mongering group "Keep America Safe,"[4] along with Bill Kristol.

Failed Senate run[edit]

In July 2013, Liz announced that she would be running for a seat in the U.S. Senate in Wyoming in 2014. As scary as the thought of another Cheney being in Washington is, she ran into several major problems. The most obvious one is that she was born in Wisconsin and never lived in Wyoming till late 2012, although she claimed that she didn't move for political gain.[5] While Wyoming is about as solid red as states come, her opponent in the primary was Mike Enzi, a three-term incumbent with an extremely conservative voting record behind him.[6]

This predictably led to her doing poorly in early polls.[7] In November, with calling Enzi a RINO, a plainly-ridiculous assertion (and quite ironic in hindsight), and her mediocre poll results, Liz decided to try to gain support by doing something so evil that her dad never attempted to directly do, come out against gay marriage.[8] This led to immediate backlash from almost everybody, especially her married lesbian sister Mary Cheney, who had previously helped re-elect Bush and threw Mittens, who wanted to amend the Constitution to ban all gay marriage, a $2,500 check back in 2012.[9]

In early 2014, she ended up giving up on the whole thing due to serious health issues in her family.[10] We can only hope that this is the last that we see of her.

Unfortunately, she ran for Congress again in 2016 as a Representative and ended up winning. Liz had no real opponents during her race since all of the more or less terrible Republicans in the primary couldn't match the former VP's daughter's name recognition, and with Wyoming being a wingnut state no Democrat could've stood a chance either.[11]

Stopped clock[edit]

She has called for the resignation of Iowa Representative and hardcore racist Steve King after he said that white supremacy isn't bad. So there's that.[12] Also, she was one of ten House Republicans to vote in favor of Trump's second impeachment.[13] Indeed, she has more courage and integrity in her pinky finger than all the spineless, nutless, dickless, Trump-loving, Republican "men" have in their entire bodies. However, this had a cost in the deep-red state of Wyoming, and in 2022, she lost her re-election bid in the Republican primary by the Trump-endorsed Harriet Hageman.[14]


  1. Terrorism shouldn't be a law enforcement matter, apparently.