Talk:Love-shy.com/Archive1

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List of insanity

Here's a list of things that might be worth including or at least that give insight into these truly closeted sexist people:

• Complaining that psychiatrists don't take their made up "disorder" seriously
• On a totally fictional character being better at getting a GF: "I almost want that guy to beat her so she realizes what a fool she made out of herself to fall for him."
• I thought of this as I was looking through their ramblings: Why don't they just adjust themselves so that they can be more attractive to women?! It's far better than trying to get society to change women <facepalm/>. It also suggests that they aren't truly love shy, and that they're just clinging to a label rather than helping themselves.
• Some fool compares the love-shy in America to the Jews in Nazi Germany. Right when I thought I had seen rock bottom...
• Arrested for getting drunk, making threats, and not seeing what the problem is
• You're not a virgin if you have sex with a robot. They're talking about having sex with robots. Any "fake woman," including doll, sex is extremely sexist and objectifying of women.
• Article about Love-shy.com, the BS of the Love-Shy disorder, and quotes. WHAT HAS BEEN SEEN CANNOT BE UNSEEN!

ఠ_ఠ Тод Зенос ан форфар фор 03:18, 4 March 2013 (UTC)

Story writing

I've been working on a character who's more-or-less like this. If anyone has any thoughts, please share. He doesn't whine about it with other people, but he does expect people to find him a girl (which doesn't work, there are people I'd love to do this for if I could) and he also spends a large amount of time trying to convince a long time female friend who prides herself on only having had sex with one guy (note: one guy) to have sex with him. The only reason she doesn't leave him is because she realize he's far too gentle to do anything violent and because she feels bad for him. ఠ_ఠ Тод Зенос ан форфар фор 03:42, 4 March 2013 (UTC)

Shyness

Is it not possible that some of these people are genuinely shy, and not monsters? Are these quotes representative? --Albannach (talk) 18:59, 7 March 2013 (UTC)

Unlikely. There may be some people who are shy who go there, but I'm sure they get driven off by the insanity that is tolerated by the mods. I doubt shyness is the cause of these people's problems because shy people eventually find ways of finding girlfriends, and aren't completely creepy and off putting about it. Shyness also doesn't make people rant about how it would be justified for people to kill women at random and how they would deserve it because they are oppressing love shies. I've considered informing the police about this, but the fact that the same guy wrote "I would never do this because I don't want to go to jail" would probably give him immunity for just stating a fact, and I'm not sure that real serial killers are the types who would announce their plans on forums and rant about being virgins. I've also only seen the quotes second hand, and I'm not sure if the police would be able to order the website owners to turn over information based on hear-say. ఠ_ఠ Тод Зенос ан форфар фор 18:30, 9 March 2013 (UTC)

Most of the genuinely shy people I've known have been too timid around women, and not aggressive at all... But I don't know if these are representative or not. I don't know about the various laws about this... people are allowed to express opinions, even if they're objectionable.--Albannach (talk) 18:02, 11 March 2013 (UTC)

Becoming a violent rapist or murderer would not be prevented by social skills. In fact, rage at being unable to communicate with women and feeling worthless could easily lead someone to become violent. As for the law, the loser did say that he wanted to kill women. ఠ_ఠ Тод Зенос ан форфар фор 06:08, 12 March 2013 (UTC)

I'd like something written about non-resentful love-shys. I'm 20 and never kissed. Everyone, from Jesus to the Dalai Lama, also told me to get out but I was made fun of for my different, nonsuburbanized views on reality. I don't see why you need to spend 24/7 creating an identity to present to people that involves expensive clothing and listening to postmodern music with no real-life connection. In my opinion, I think that it's enough to just be yourself. ^{— Unsigned, by: 68.60.98.183 / talk / contribs}

What does any of that have to do with this article? Ŵêâŝêîôîď^{Methinks it is a Weasel} 19:54, 16 March 2013 (UTC)

I wear cheap clothes and do not listen to postmodern music and have never wanted for female attention. When Roosevelt came to the land of the hummingbird, shouts of welcome were heard!. 19:58, 16 March 2013 (UTC)

It'a because people like that are in the extreme minority. From my experience, the non resentful type often goes in the direction white knighting on behalf of women, which is easily just as self destructive. It doesn't get them anywhere, they end up doing crazy things for women, and they probably end up like the rest of the love shies here when they realize that their white knighting burned them. ఠ_ఠ Тод Зенос ан форфар фор 14:50, 17 March 2013 (UTC)

Very confusing, that doesn't really make any sense at all. Dating is weird. Samstr (talk) 03:30, 14 December 2014 (UTC)

possible section to add

reading the article the section from the lucifer effect came to my mind. so i thought i would ask to see the viability of adding a section about Online disinhibition effect? i will need to state I that it be a minor influence that can be used to blame a lot of the worst quotes, but would have different factors and reasoning for person A: being a nice guy IRL but becomes a troll of the worst kind or person B: A real guy that fits in the types describedNailo1 (talk) 01:13, 27 April 2013 (UTC)

Minidocumentary: http://vimeo.com/28466163

http://vimeo.com/28466163

--81.175.227.88 (talk) 21:46, 22 May 2013 (UTC)

Please Delete or Rewrite this Article

I am a true love-shy and I find this article to be extremely offensive, opinionated, biased, and highly inaccurate. This is a hell of a statement considering that this article exists on a site called Rational Wiki. Yes, I am a member of love-shy.com. But this is because I have nowhere else to turn to. People say that I should "get therapy" but not only am I too poor, therapy for me would be useless. You might as well try to cure cancer with talk therapy (and no, I don't think my situation is that bad, I'm just making an analogy here).

There are crazy people on love-shy.com, just like there are crazy people everywhere. However, if you actually look at the data that you acquired, they only compose a small fraction of the forum. Most love-shies are so severely shy, they don't have the inclination to post on a forum. Most members have very few posts. I have been lurking on this page for months and now only have the courage to post.

Love-shyness is more than simply having trouble finding a date. Most love-shies are socially isolated and come from broken families. Additionally, the unemployment rate for love-shies in Gilmartin's book was 16%. The reason I call it love-shyness and not lack of social skills is because most people that I know that are socially awkward have a small circle of friends and some dating experience. Love-shies are far more extreme than that. For instance, I was a late talker, and would flap my hands in public until I was 17. I didn't have my first best friend until I was 10. I was emailed death threats a couple times by people from my school. You possibly couldn't accuse me of having a victim complex at this point, could you? I'm sure you never had to go through all of this.

Additionally, I also have Asperger's but I don't call my condition that anymore because only the thin, more social Aspergians are featured in the media, misrepresenting the more severe of the condition. If you want to see a more severe example of an autistic, Christian Weston Chandler is a good example.

There. I created an account. Atdevel (talk) 20:15, 29 September 2013 (UTC)

perhaps you could add a section to this or start a new article on shyness (social function disorder or whatever ) ? In my experiance social skills are something you have to learn and its harder to do when you are out of school. I prefer to withdraw in social situation but online forums do not have the same effect. When you learn nothing horrible happens it gets easier. Hamster (talk) 22:47, 29 September 2013 (UTC)

"offensive, opinionated, biased" are not unknown here ;-) but inaccurate is a worry. Hamster (talk) 22:50, 29 September 2013 (UTC)

This discussion was moved here from RationalWiki:Saloon bar.

What a comedically poor defence. 199.168.100.2 (talk) 22:43, 29 September 2013 (UTC)

Oooh! Ain't you a lovely person! Scream!! (talk) 22:47, 29 September 2013 (UTC)

what is comedic about shy people ? I suffer from social shyness myself but am old enough that I managed to overcome it professionally. Hamster (talk) 22:59, 29 September 2013 (UTC)

Compare that with what the OP wrote: "therapy for me would be useless. You might as well try to cure cancer with talk therapy." Nothing wrong with being shy and awkward. I was, myself, for most of my life, until I decided to take responsibility for who I was and work to make some changes in how I lived my life. You, apparently, engaged in a similar process. It's hard work, but it's doable. PowderSmokeAndLeather: Say something once, why say it again?. 23:05, 29 September 2013 (UTC)

None of that seems to have anything much to do with the website, so has not much bearing on whether it gets rewritten or whatnot. There was also no need for this same comment to be double posted on the talk page & Saloon Bar. I'm moving the comments across. Weaseloid^{Methinks it is a Weasel} 23:11, 29 September 2013 (UTC)

I will point out that the article states that shyness is a real problem and provides a link to the wikipedia article. Since this site focuses on the more extreme views the article is not that bad. Hamster (talk) 23:19, 29 September 2013 (UTC)

Well, given that this page seems to be mostly written by Generalissimo Rape, perhaps it can stand being looked over. --Revolverman (talk) 00:39, 30 September 2013 (UTC)

Seagull

Congratulations you have convinced me that rational wiki is a page where people pour scorn on what they do not understand. Very rational!!!^{— Unsigned, by: 222.212.226.152 / talk 12:05, 4 January 2014 (UTC)}

Minor Nitpick

"Really lying" seems less no-true-Scotsman and more she-doth-protest-too-much. I can't find an article on that here, though it might be classifiable as a variation on the appeal to motive. Do we have such an article so the link can be modified or should one be written? Frostbyte (talk) 22:03, 24 February 2014 (UTC)

One point of disagreement

I have to disagree with this sentence: "Discussion plans to create robot women to have sex with, and believing that you're not a virgin if you do this." More specifically, the implicit statement about them still being virgins. I don't think this is true: Masturbation is sex, and should certainly be thought of as such. As Betty Dodson says in "Sex for One": "The next time someone asks, "When was the first time you had sex?" the appropriate response would be your first memory of masturbation, not the first time you had partnersex." And what is this, but some elaborate form of masturbation?

Indeed, I think it would help these people to think of it in this way. The stigma on masturbation is a large part of why these guys feel so hopeless. It's time we as a society owned up to the fact that we still have a long way to go on sexual repression, and the existence of forums like this one is just a symptom of an underlying issue. I think the other members of this wiki would agree, looking at the pages on masturbation here. Please don't prove me wrong on this.Sensual Endeavor, the sexy pony ;) (talk) 06:20, 11 June 2014 (UTC)

masturbation is sex? Really? My eyes are rolling AMassiveGay (talk) 09:21, 11 June 2014 (UTC)

No - David Gerard (talk) 10:14, 11 June 2014 (UTC)

Well, I'm sorry to hear that. Sorry you're part of the problem of sexual repression in our society. And I'm saddened to see this kind of dismissive attitude on a wiki that prides itself on being open-minded, particularly in terms of sexuality, and which usually does a good job of it. But I suppose you're entitled to your own beliefs, just as I'm entitled to my belief that masturbation counts :) (though, as I said, I'm not alone in that belief). So I won't say any more. Sensual Endeavor, the sexy pony ;) (talk) 00:09, 12 June 2014 (UTC)

Argumentum ad dictionarium - "if we define sex as..." well, we could define it as anything you like. It concludes and proves nothing to re-define terms at all. "The first time I had [list of activities including masturbation] was the first time I masturbated" is hardly a game-changing piece of logic. ^{Don't click here} 00:29, 12 June 2014 (UTC)

I suppose for men, it's a bit harder to define virgin, but i'm both with and against this guy. If i use a dildo and break my girly parts in, then by the traditional definition of "whole hymen", i'm not a virgin any more, right? Yet at the same time, if you use that definition, and are a lesbian, and only use fingers, you might well stay a "virgin" your whole life. trouble with words like this is they don't really mean anything, beyond what one single individual soul searching person thinks about him or her self.One tin soldier (talk) 02:52, 12 June 2014 (UTC)

If masturbation is sex, then Zeus ain't got nuthin' on me. --|₹Λ¥$€₦₦ ^{They were trying to combine themselves to form some sort of molestation Voltron} 21:47, 12 June 2014 (UTC)

Virginity doesn't hinge around an unbroken hymen. In so far as it remains a meaningful concept at all, it refers to whether or not somebody has had sex with other people. How "sex" is defined in this context may vary depending on people's sexual orientation and what they tend to get up to in the bedroom, but it basically always involves another person. Solo masturbation is a sex act and there may be other contexts where it's relevant to include it within a broad definition of "sex", but counting it as a loss of virginity is frankly a bit odd. Wẽãšẽĩõĩď^{Methinks it is a Weasel} 23:04, 12 June 2014 (UTC)

I'm just adding one thing.

Guest here, and I will create an account if I need to. I was just talking about some of the physical aspects of love-shyness. Is that okay? ^{— Unsigned, by: 147.215.1.189 / talk / contribs}

"Physical aspects"? FuzzyCatPotato™ (talk/stalk) 12:49, 7 April 2015 (UTC)

Sweating a lot when near the ladies maybe? *shrugs* 141.134.75.236 (talk) 12:52, 7 April 2015 (UTC)

I can assure you that this case applies to me. It was from his original book, and I can reference it if I need to. 147.215.1.189 (talk) 12:53, 7 April 2015 (UTC)

The properly-referenced example is indeed champagne comedy - David Gerard (talk) 13:51, 8 April 2015 (UTC)

They reference is to a pseudo-scientific book almost 25 years old that even the site states should be heavily cherry picked for useful things. To end it the author seems to float outlawing football, drastic indoctrination, prostitution rings, and starting eugenics programs to stop this problem from happening again...when the author can't say what caused it in the first place. Not just breathing slowly through ones nose. Which is a good solution for stress and anxiety related disorders. -EmeraldCityWanderer (talk) 14:56, 8 April 2015 (UTC)

Literal shit.

So LoveShit has a (30-page) Wiki now, and one of the reasons they list for involontary celibacy is... shitting in your pants. Apparently this is a big problem for frequenters of this site. Can't believe that anybody would even admit to having this problem. Oh, and the forums appear to be down. EuroBurro (talk) 12:41, 12 May 2016 (UTC)

Really? You sure it's not a troll edit?--Kugelschreiber (talk) (mail) (block) 13:23, 12 May 2016 (UTC) 13:23, 12 May 2016 (UTC)

Honestly, could be one or the other. Can't see many people knowing about the wiki. EuroBurro (talk) 18:23, 12 May 2016 (UTC)

Poe's Law on full throttle, huh?--Kugelschreiber (talk) (mail) (block) 19:41, 12 May 2016 (UTC) 19:41, 12 May 2016 (UTC)

Yup. EuroBurro (talk) 08:33, 13 May 2016 (UTC)