RationalWiki:Annotated Bible/Genesis

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See the main article on this topic: Book of Genesis
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Contents

[edit] Genesis Chapter 1 (God creates stuff)

[edit] Genesis 1:1

In the beginning God [Elohim] created the heaven and the earth.

[edit] Genesis 1:1 Notes

Genesis 1:1 begins what is often called the Priestly account of creation, distinct from the story of Adam and Eve. It is generally believed to have been written in or around the 600s BCE, with some noted exceptions that remain from segments of poetry and/or song.

It is instructive to compare the first creation myth with the second biblical creation myth which begins at Genesis 2:4.

No mentions, by the way, of stuff as galaxies, the Big Bang and all that happened by then, etc. So much for an "omnipotent and omniscient God".

[edit] Genesis 1:2

And the earth was without form, and void; and darkness was upon the face of the deep. And the Spirit of God moved upon the face of the waters.

[edit] Genesis 1:2 Notes

Believers in gap creationism slip a few million, or even billion, years between these two verses. Even if we allow a long period of time between these verses, there still remains a problem: the Hebrew word for water in this verse is "מָ֫יִם" ("mayim"), which is the same word used to describe springs, wells, floods, rain, seas and used when people bathe and drink.[1] It is the same word used in this same chapter to describe the waters of the seas where the land is drawn from and where the fish originate. Water is made of two atoms, Hydrogen and Oxygen. According to modern cosmology, after the Big Bang, Hydrogen was first atom formed through nucleosynthesis (next was Helium and Lithium). Within the vast cloud of Hydrogen, the first stars take form due to gravity. Stars are fueled by nuclear fusion, turning Hydrogen into heavier atoms and metals. This is where Oxygen (and various other heavy atoms and metals from Carbon to Iron) are first formed in the universe. Then when a star runs out of fuel, it explodes in a supernova and scatters the heavier atoms throughout the universe, allowing Hydrogen and Oxygen to bond for the first time to create water.

In summary, stars must exist first in order for compounds like water to exist, but as we read on in Genesis, it says water already existed before the stars (even light itself) were created. The authors of Genesis got this backwards.

[edit] Genesis 1:3

And God [Elohim] said, Let there be light: and there was light.

[edit] Genesis 1:3 Notes

(Read: And God said, "Well, 'bout time we lit this sumbitch up, yeah?")

God creates light before creating any light sources. Jehovah's Witnesses, who are old earth creationists, explain this away by saying that this verse refers to the early period in Earth's history when it was shrouded in dense clouds and some light reached the surface, but the Sun couldn't be seen clearly.

[edit] Genesis 1:4

And God saw the light, that it was good: and God divided the light from the darkness.

[edit] Genesis 1:4 Notes

This verse hints that the writers of the Bible considered darkness to be the opposite of light, rather than just its absence.

[edit] Genesis 1:5

And God called the light Day, and the darkness he called Night. And the evening and the morning were the first day.

[edit] Genesis 1:5 Notes

To recap: God created light, divided it, and named the pieces Day and Night. This was all he managed on day one — a fairly poor effort, particularly when compared to Day Four when he will create an estimated 300 sextillion stars. Anyway, we can only assume that God's just limbering up, because He's got a lot of work ahead of him if he's going to finish the universe before the weekend.

Note that there will be no sun until day four, so it's not clear what this "Day" actually constitutes from a time perspective, or how there even could be an "evening" (from the Hebrew ereb which literally means "sun-set").

[edit] Genesis 1:6

And God said, Let there be a firmament in the midst of the waters, and let it divide the waters from the waters.

[edit] Genesis 1:6 Notes

Firmament, from Latin firmamentum, "something which strengthens or supports." The firmament references obsolete astronomical models and was a solid structure on which the stars were mounted, which divided the sky from heaven.

[edit] Genesis 1:7

And God made the firmament, and divided the waters which were under the firmament from the waters which were above the firmament: and it was so.

[edit] Genesis 1:7 Notes

The "water above the firmament" is cited by some as the source of the water in the Biblical flood. However this is problematic for a number of reasons. Such a layer of water would block sunlight. Another problem is related to the weight of the water. Water is heavy, and placing enough water above us to flood the entire planet would have resulted in Adam and Eve effectively living in a giant pressure cooker, or to be more precise, being dead and nicely broiled in a giant pressure cooker.

When interpreting the story as a creation myth, it's obvious that the bit about the "water above" is intended to explain the source of rain. This would imply that the writers believed that rainwater comes from beyond the stars.

[edit] Genesis 1:8

And God called the firmament Heaven. And the evening and the morning were the second day.

[edit] Genesis 1:8 Notes

[edit] Genesis 1:9

And God said, Let the waters under the heaven be gathered together unto one place, and let the dry land appear: and it was so.

[edit] Genesis 1:9 Notes

[edit] Genesis 1:10

And God called the dry land Earth; and the gathering together of the waters called he Seas: and God saw that it was good.

[edit] Genesis 1:10 Notes

To a Bronze Age author, it probably seemed plausible that there was only one area of "dry land." But obviously, there are several continents which are not hinted at in this verse.

[edit] Genesis 1:11

And God said, Let the earth bring forth grass, the herb yielding seed, and the fruit tree yielding fruit after his kind, whose seed is in itself, upon the earth: and it was so.

[edit] Genesis 1:11 Notes

This is how life forms differ from angelic beings which are sexless and cannot biologically reproduce.

[edit] Genesis 1:12

And the earth brought forth grass, and herb yielding seed after his kind, and the tree yielding fruit, whose seed was in itself, after his kind: and God saw that it was good.

[edit] Genesis 1:12 Notes

[edit] Genesis 1:13

And the evening and the morning were the third day.

[edit] Genesis 1:13 Notes

[edit] Genesis 1:14

And God said, Let there be lights in the firmament of the heaven to divide the day from the night; and let them be for signs, and for seasons, and for days, and years:

[edit] Genesis 1:14 Notes

One of the stated purposes for the stars is "for signs." However, interpreting these signs will be explicitly forbidden in Deuteronomy 18:10-14 — and if interpreting a sign is prohibited, then it's not much of a sign.

[edit] Genesis 1:15

And let them be for lights in the firmament of the heaven to give light upon the earth: and it was so.

[edit] Genesis 1:15 Notes

If the purpose of the stars is to "give light upon the earth," then why are we only able to see a trivial number of them with the naked eye?

Science has so far catalogued billions of stars, and some estimates suggest there are as many as 300 sextillion. However only about 2000 are visible unaided, and they certainly don't provide much in the way of usable light (at least not to humans).

[edit] Genesis 1:16

And God made two great lights; the greater light to rule the day, and the lesser light to rule the night: he made the stars also.

[edit] Genesis 1:16 Notes

Let's recap the sequence of events: 1) God creates light, 2) God creates plants (which require sunlight), 3) God creates stars, 4) God creates the Sun. Seems legit. Note that this verse confuses the issue of what was created first: the Sun or all other stars.

God creates stars almost as an afterthought. Considering that the Bible is the word of God, why is the knowledge of the universe shown here limited to that which would have been available to a common person of the time? It is certainly not the knowledge indicative of an omniscient God.

The moon does not emit light, but merely reflects that of the sun. Furthermore, the moon spends half of its time moving across the daytime sky. There is also no mention of the Sun being a star, which is kind of inconvenient to proponents of biblical scientific foreknowledge.

See notes for 1:2 above concerning the stars.

[edit] Genesis 1:17

And God set them in the firmament of the heaven to give light upon the earth,

[edit] Genesis 1:17 Notes

See notes for 1:15 above.

[edit] Genesis 1:18

And to rule over the day and over the night, and to divide the light from the darkness: and God saw that it was good.

[edit] Genesis 1:18 Notes

The idea of dividing light from darkness, first introduced in 1:4, is repeated here.

[edit] Genesis 1:19

And the evening and the morning were the fourth day.

[edit] Genesis 1:19 Notes

Actually, the first evening: the sun was only created today, remember?

[edit] Genesis 1:20

And God said, Let the waters bring forth abundantly the moving creature that hath life, and fowl that may fly above the earth in the open firmament of heaven.

[edit] Genesis 1:20 Notes

[edit] Genesis 1:21

And God created great whales, and every living creature that moveth, which the waters brought forth abundantly, after their kind, and every winged fowl after his kind: and God saw that it was good.

[edit] Genesis 1:21 Notes

God creates fish, birds, and marine mammals at once. We now know that amphibians, reptiles and land mammals predate birds and marine mammals in the fossil record.

[edit] Genesis 1:22

And God blessed them, saying, Be fruitful, and multiply, and fill the waters in the seas, and let fowl multiply in the earth.

[edit] Genesis 1:22 Notes

This is the verse where anti-contraception comes from, by the way.

[edit] Genesis 1:23

And the evening and the morning were the fifth day.

[edit] Genesis 1:23 Notes

[edit] Genesis 1:24

And God said, Let the earth bring forth the living creature after his kind, cattle, and creeping thing, and beast of the earth after his kind: and it was so.

[edit] Genesis 1:24 Notes

The cow is a domesticated animal bred by humans from the extinct aurochs, yet here the Bible says it was created before humans.

[edit] Genesis 1:25

And God made the beast of the earth after his kind, and cattle after their kind, and every thing that creepeth upon the earth after his kind: and God saw that it was good.

[edit] Genesis 1:25 Notes

[edit] Genesis 1:26

And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness: and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth.

[edit] Genesis 1:26 Notes

The "us" used in this chapter is unique in Genesis for God referring to him/itself. Several theories exist:

  • it is a reference to a pantheon of Gods. Scholars know that the ancient Hebrews, like other Semitic people of the time worshiped many gods, YHWH being the war-god of the pantheon.
  • it is a Royal we, a formal we. Just as many languages have a "tu" (informal and singular) and a "vous" (formal or plural), so too do many languages have a formal we (in English, Nurses and Kings are famous for using this tense).
  • It is a reference to the Trinity.

[edit] Genesis 1:27

So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them.

[edit] Genesis 1:27 Notes

Christian apologetics is split ondiverges over the meaning of this verse when combined with the verses in Genesis 2 (which also cover the creation of humanity). Literalists reard this verse as merely a foreshadowing of the events in Chapter 2, and thus believe that all humans descend directly from Adam and Eve (of course, this creates later problems due to Biblical references to various other people).

The so-called "liberal" Christian viewpoint sees this as a symbolic verse, as a generalized description of God's creation of humanity. This viewpoint thus avoids many of the textual contradictions inherent in the literalist perspective.

A tradition of scholarship associates Genesis 1:27 with the Divine Creation of hermaphoditism and transsexualism.[2] One can only imagine how the "Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve" mantra would ramify if the English translation of this verse had read "male OR female created he them"...

[edit] Genesis 1:28

And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth.

[edit] Genesis 1:28 Notes

Genesis 1 probably had a different author to Genesis 2-3, or they may have been different variations of the creation myth which were later united. Indeed, this exact same covenant is actually made with Noah at the beginning of Genesis 9. In Genesis 2 and 3, man was created alone, and woman sometime later, and no "multiplying" took place (at least between the man and the woman) until after they were expelled from the Garden.

This verse and those like it are used by some creationists such as Ray Comfort to justify that the Earth and nature was created just for mankind. They neglect to mention that nature is very capable of killing people and some environments like the ocean (as we soon find out in Noah's flood) are extremely hostile for people. That and some plants, animals and other organisms are also quite capable of killing people. There are some parasites that cannot complete their lifecycle without infecting a human host, sometimes to the detriment of the host.

[edit] Genesis 1:29

And God said, Behold, I have given you every herb bearing seed, which is upon the face of all the earth, and every tree, in the which is the fruit of a tree yielding seed; to you it shall be for meat.

[edit] Genesis 1:29 Notes

This presumably would include cannabis, tobacco, the coca leaf, and opium poppy. Exempt from this category would be pharmaceutical controlled substances and synthetic cannabis, commonly known as "spice". That and it presumably does not include plants or plant products that are highly toxic to humans.

[edit] Genesis 1:30

And to every beast of the earth, and to every fowl of the air, and to every thing that creepeth upon the earth, wherein there is life, I have given every green herb for meat: and it was so.

[edit] Genesis 1:30 Notes

Tigers, lions, tyrannosaurs? They just ate really dangerous plants. That their teeth are profoundly unsuited for this just shows one of the mysterious ways in which God works.

[edit] Genesis 1:31

And God saw every thing that he had made, and, behold, it was very good. And the evening and the morning were the sixth day.

[edit] Genesis 1:31 Notes

Good, until God decides to wreck the whole thing with the flood because of Man's sin...which he should've known about in the first place being you know, omniscient. Also, why did God need six days to do everything if he was so all powerfull? Isn't this just wasting time?

[edit] Genesis Chapter 2 (God creates Adam and Eve)

[edit] Genesis 2:1

Thus the heavens and the earth were finished, and all the host of them.

[edit] Genesis 2:1 Notes

[edit] Genesis 2:2

And on the seventh day God ended his work which he had made; and he rested on the seventh day from all his work which he had made.

[edit] Genesis 2:2 Notes

Cause even the all powerful God gets tired sometimes.

[edit] Genesis 2:3

And God blessed the seventh day, and sanctified it: because that in it he had rested from all his work which God created and made.

[edit] Genesis 2:3 Notes

Because God does stuff While he's resting. Contradiction with the above. Fun times.

[edit] Genesis 2:4

These are the generations of the heavens and of the earth when they were created, in the day that the LORD God [YHWH-Elohim] made the earth and the heavens,

[edit] Genesis 2:4 Notes

This shift marks a second author in the text, note the use of the name "YHWH-Elohim" LordGod.

This is also the beginning of a separate creation myth. See Creation Week

[edit] Genesis 2:5

And every plant of the field before it was in the earth, and every herb of the field before it grew: for the LORD God had not caused it to rain upon the earth, and there was not a man to till the ground.

[edit] Genesis 2:5 Notes

This verse implies that the author believed that agriculture was practiced since the dawn of humanity. We now know that agriculture was invented around 9500 BC, and for most of their history humans lived as hunter-gatherers.

[edit] Genesis 2:6

But there went up a mist from the earth, and watered the whole face of the ground.

[edit] Genesis 2:6 Notes

[edit] Genesis 2:7

And the LORD God formed man of the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living soul.

[edit] Genesis 2:7 Notes

See How come there are still monkeys? if you don't want to answer "How come there is still dust of the ground?"

[edit] Genesis 2:8

And the LORD God planted a garden eastward in Eden; and there he put the man whom he had formed.

[edit] Genesis 2:8 Notes

[edit] Genesis 2:9

And out of the ground made the LORD God to grow every tree that is pleasant to the sight, and good for food; the tree of life also in the midst of the garden, and the tree of knowledge of good and evil.

[edit] Genesis 2:9 Notes

Most translations are worded similarly, in that there are two different trees.

The tree of knowledge is the "bad" one, which God tells Adam not to eat. The tree of life will let Adam live forever, but eating from it is permitted until Adam eats from the tree of knowledge.

[edit] Genesis 2:10

And a river went out of Eden to water the garden; and from thence it was parted, and became into four heads.

[edit] Genesis 2:10 Notes

Genesis 2:10-14, the abrupt interruption of the story of man to describe four rivers with pseudo-legalistic verbiage is generally accepted as evidence of the third author (the Priests) inserting "important" nonsense.

[edit] Genesis 2:11

The name of the first is Pison: that is it which compasseth the whole land of Havilah, where there is gold;

[edit] Genesis 2:11 Notes

The description of Havilah matches the Arabian side of the Persian Gulf. Pison (Pishon) most likely refers to a major river which once flowed through Wadi al-RummahWikipedia's W.svg and Wadi al-Batin.Wikipedia's W.svg

[edit] Genesis 2:12

And the gold of that land is good: there is bdellium and the onyx stone.

[edit] Genesis 2:12 Notes

The relationship of the presence of bdellium (a gum exuded by trees, and so decidedly not metallic) to the quality of gold is rather unclear.

[edit] Genesis 2:13

And the name of the second river is Gihon: the same is it that compasseth the whole land of Ethiopia.

[edit] Genesis 2:13 Notes

"Ethiopia" is a KJV translation of the Hebrew term "Kush" or "Gush". This is geographically nonsensical, since Ethiopia is in a different drainage basin than all other rivers mentioned here. The modern interpretation is that "Kush" refers to the homeland of Kassites,Wikipedia's W.svg a tribe which invaded from the east and took control of Mesopotamia in 1531 BC, and therefore Gihon refers to Karun,Wikipedia's W.svg the largest river of Iran.

[edit] Genesis 2:14

And the name of the third river is Hiddekel: that is it which goeth toward the east of Assyria. And the fourth river is Euphrates.

[edit] Genesis 2:14 Notes

The information on rivers would place Eden under the waters of the Persian Gulf. [1] The water level in the gulf rose considerably between 5000 and 4000 BC, gradually submerging a heavily populated and fertile area, which is probably also the origin of the flood myth.

[edit] Genesis 2:15

And the LORD God took the man, and put him into the garden of Eden to dress it and to keep it.

[edit] Genesis 2:15 Notes

[edit] Genesis 2:16

And the LORD God commanded the man, saying, Of every tree of the garden thou mayest freely eat:

[edit] Genesis 2:16 Notes

[edit] Genesis 2:17

But of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, thou shalt not eat of it: for in the day that thou eatest thereof thou shalt surely die.

[edit] Genesis 2:17 Notes

So "Why is that friggin' tree even there in the first place?"

One theory, from a mythological point of view, is that the "tree of knowledge" has the sense of moving from "animal" to "human" or child to adult. What makes us human is the desire to know, and once we know - we lose the innocence of a child or an animal. When Daddy gives us rules as a child, we accept and are safe and secure, but without the aspect of "humanity" that makes us want to know. When we take the step out of Daddy's rules, we stop being safe, protected, and provided for (Garden of Eden) and become truly human adult. Knowledge necessarily has the cost of Eden.

Note the threat: "...thou shalt surely die." Adam goes on to eat the fruit and most certainly does not die. Had God been truthful, this verse should have read as, "You and your progeny will be cursed forever", "Women will give birth in pain", and/or "I will drive you from Eden and make life miserable for you and all your descendants." Alternatively, God never said Adam would die immediately if he ate the fruit. By being removed from the Garden, Adam lost access to the Tree of Life and eventually died. Oh, and that other stuff too...

Another theory states the trunk of the tree was the human body as the arms are the branches; God was giving a warning about a species consuming its own seed.

[edit] Genesis 2:18

And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.

[edit] Genesis 2:18 Notes

[edit] Genesis 2:19

And out of the ground the LORD God formed every beast of the field, and every fowl of the air; and brought them unto Adam to see what he would call them: and whatsoever Adam called every living creature, that was the name thereof.

[edit] Genesis 2:19 Notes

This is a nice point to consider the contradictions between the first two chapters of Genesis. Spanning Genesis 1:21-26, you see the animals created first. Here, mankind is created before the beasts.

[edit] Genesis 2:20

And Adam gave names to all cattle, and to the fowl of the air, and to every beast of the field; but for Adam there was not found an help meet for him.

[edit] Genesis 2:20 Notes

That must have taken a while, considering there are over 1.5 million species of animal alive today.

[edit] Genesis 2:21

And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof;

[edit] Genesis 2:21 Notes

It is quite likely that the rib is a mistranslation, and the original authors meant the baculum, or the penis bone. It is present in many mammals, such as dogs and most primates, but absent in humans. [2]

[edit] Genesis 2:22

And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man.

[edit] Genesis 2:22 Notes

Biblical literalists have no problem believing that a whole woman was made from a rib in a single step. But tell them that a long series of minor changes changed a monkey into a marginally more intelligent monkey and it's just too outlandish to believe.

[edit] Genesis 2:23

And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.

[edit] Genesis 2:23 Notes

[edit] Genesis 2:24

Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.

[edit] Genesis 2:24 Notes

Isn't there a big question to be asked here? At this point in the story, what the hell is a father and/or mother? This verse lends support to the idea that Genesis is simply another creation myth written long after the purported events are supposed to have occured rather than divine revelation.

[edit] Genesis 2:25

And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.

[edit] Genesis 2:25 Notes

I've not sure what the big deal is. If Michelangelo is at all reputable, then David didn't mind having his junk dangling in the wind either.

[edit] Genesis Chapter 3 (Adam and Eve screw it up, for everyone, for all time)

[edit] Genesis 3:1

Now the serpent was more subtil than any beast of the field which the LORD God (YHWH-Elohim) had made. And he said unto the woman, Yea, hath God (Elohim) said, Ye shall not eat of every tree of the garden?

[edit] Genesis 3:1 Notes

Why would the serpent be "more anything" than other creatures? Did God not make them all perfect. If not, why not?

Christian tradition (as opposed to Judaism) identifies the Serpent with Satan, the Devil, due to similar temptation-related incidents elsewhere in the Bible, which explicitly involve Satan in the role of tempter.

The Serpent also has sexual connotations, due to its phallic symbolism, and its luring of Eve and Adam to forbidden pleasures, which lead to shame and ruin, their awareness of nudity and sexual reproduction.

If the serpent is Satan and Satan cannot tempt people without God's consent (as is set forth in later books such as Job), then this was one big set up for Eve and Adam.

When one comes across a talking animal in a text, one might well assume one had stumbled on a children's story or on a traditional myth/legend/fable. At any rate, one might take the presence of a talking beast as a marker of fiction or of some sort of allegory or metaphor. But no need in the case of this verse, because Satandidit. Hence one can take a talking serpent literally, and read the Book of Genesis as sober history.

[edit] Genesis 3:2

And the woman said unto the serpent, We may eat of the fruit of the trees of the garden:

[edit] Genesis 3:2 Notes

An interesting point here is the cool way that Eve reacts. Most people would say something like: "Bloody hell! a talking snake! That's something you don't see every day!" Not Eve - she coolly goes ahead and has a conversation with the ranting reptile and even takes religious instruction from it. Perhaps all animals talked and were sentient before the fall?

Was the serpent even a snake, at this point? This was before he/it got all accursed of God and was transformed into crawling in the dirt on its belly. Maybe the serpent was even human in aspect(?) The Gnostic tradition has the whole creation being a botch job by an inept subcontractor, IHVH, with the more universal God, Sophia (Wisdom) entering the zoo to try to put things right and stop man being simply a childlike pet of a deluded despot and gain the potential to be a free-willed expression of the supporting universe. The Gnostic tradition also says "Hey, it's just a story."

[edit] Genesis 3:3

But of the fruit of the tree which is in the midst of the garden, God hath said, Ye shall not eat of it, neither shall ye touch it, lest ye die.

[edit] Genesis 3:3 Notes

Of course, to Eve -- at least at this point -- the concept of death was as meaningless as the concepts of internal combustion, taxation, or flossing. She had no practical experience with death, and neither did God explained what death may mean. Hence, it was impossible for her to make a truly informed choice.

[edit] Genesis 3:4

And the serpent said unto the woman, Ye shall not surely die:

[edit] Genesis 3:4 Notes

For the record, the Bible makes no mention of Eve's death, so she could well still be alive for all we know. (Spoiler alert: Adam's age at his death is specifically stated in Genesis 5:5)

[edit] Genesis 3:5

For God doth know that in the day ye eat thereof, then your eyes shall be opened, and ye shall be as gods, knowing good and evil.

[edit] Genesis 3:5 Notes

And, what do you know - Satan the serpent was telling the truth. God had wanted to keep this secret and had made an idle threat about "..in the day thou eatest thereof" etc.

On the other hand, the serpent may also know that eating from the tree of knowledge will cause God to prevent Adam and Eve to eat from the other tree.

[edit] Genesis 3:6

And when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was pleasant to the eyes, and a tree to be desired to make one wise, she took of the fruit thereof, and did eat, and gave also unto her husband with her; and he did eat.

[edit] Genesis 3:6 Notes

[edit] Genesis 3:7

And the eyes of them both were opened, and they knew that they were naked; and they sewed fig leaves together, and made themselves aprons.

[edit] Genesis 3:7 Notes

You read it first in the Bible — concept of wearing nothing but apron first invented in Genesis 3:7.

[edit] Genesis 3:8

And they heard the voice of the LORD God walking in the garden in the cool of the day: and Adam and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the LORD God amongst the trees of the garden.

[edit] Genesis 3:8 Notes

Yes, God was apparently trundling around the garden. The Bible does not make it clear if he was wearing a cardigan or not.

[edit] Genesis 3:9

And the LORD God called unto Adam, and said unto him, Where art thou?

[edit] Genesis 3:9 Notes

It's interesting to note here that an all-powerful, all-knowing, and all-seeing God has to play hide-and-seek with Adam and Eve in this verse. Marcion of Sinope took this as justification for his claim that the God presented in the Old Testament was in fact not omniscient or omnipresent.

[edit] Genesis 3:10

And he said, I heard thy voice in the garden, and I was afraid, because I was naked; and I hid myself.

[edit] Genesis 3:10 Notes

[edit] Genesis 3:11

And he said, Who told thee that thou wast naked? Hast thou eaten of the tree, whereof I commanded thee that thou shouldest not eat?

[edit] Genesis 3:11 Notes

God's question here is an argument against his omniscience - why should he have to ask at all if they ate from the tree?

The question is particularly odd given that no other source of knowledge in the garden is even mentioned to exist.

[edit] Genesis 3:12

And the man said, The woman whom thou gavest to be with me, she gave me of the tree, and I did eat.

[edit] Genesis 3:12 Notes

[edit] Genesis 3:13

And the LORD God said unto the woman, What is this that thou hast done? And the woman said, The serpent beguiled me, and I did eat.

[edit] Genesis 3:13 Notes

If God is omniscient, he wouldn't of had to ask that question.

[edit] Genesis 3:14

And the LORD God said unto the serpent, Because thou hast done this, thou art cursed above all cattle, and above every beast of the field; upon thy belly shalt thou go, and dust shalt thou eat all the days of thy life:

[edit] Genesis 3:14 Notes

At this point the line between literal serpent and allegorical serpent is rather blurred. As well as representing Evil/the Devil, it also represents an actual snake. However, it's easy to see why ancient pastoral societies would firmly associate snakes with evil, being among the most unpredictable predators, and a danger to both people and livestock.

Because of its role in the Fall, it and all later snakes have to crawl on the ground. God must have liked adding feet to snakes so that He can remove them later.

So the snake crawls on its belly only after it's cursed! How did it move about before? Also, why are the cattle cursed too?

The ability of speech for all snakes is also lost, but is not explicitly mentioned. So God is to blame for starting the practice of the "fine print". Or that we all talk like snakes before the Tower of Babel.

Snakes, generally speaking, enjoy a diet far more varied than dirt, and crawling along their "belly" in undergrowth makes them an even more effective predator than they would have been if they had legs. Good job God!

Also, argument against God's omniscience: an omniscient God would know about the impending flood (in case it is not obvious enough, He caused it), and as such the punishment can simply be an order for Noah not to bring any onto the ark.

[edit] Genesis 3:15

And I will put enmity between thee and the woman, and between thy seed and her seed; it shall bruise thy head, and thou shalt bruise his heel.

[edit] Genesis 3:15 Notes

This verse has provoked ALL sorts of controversy. What exactly is the "seed of a woman"?

To modern eyes this might seem unremarkable, it presumably means the female ovum. However in an age where a woman was not believed to directly contribute to the creation of life, many interpreted the "seed of the woman" as meaning the "seed placed inside Eve by the Serpent", implying they copulated.

This idea that Eve and Satan produced offspring has been fuel for all sorts of nasty racial stuff - generally whichever group you don't like (Jews, Blacks, take your pick) are descended from Satan and all the good people (whichever group YOU belong to) was descended from Adam. See serpent seed doctrine.

[edit] Genesis 3:16

Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee.

[edit] Genesis 3:16 Notes

This verse offers evidence that the Bible was written by regular people rather than being some sort of divine inspiration. God says that he will greatly increase the pain of childbirth. However, there is no frame of reference for this in the story (the guys writing it did have such a reference). The implication is that childbirth was fairly, if not totally, painless. In terms of the story, who had ever been pregnant before let alone given birth to anyone? No one. So, saying that childbirth would now be more painful has no meaning.

This doesn't make sense either. The point is that the woman was now going to have a harder time in childbirth than she would have otherwise. --CPAdmin1 22:25, 19 July 2008 (EDT)
You're both wrong. The point is that (according to this fable) there was no childbirth up to this point, & would not have been any at all if Adam & Eve hadn't fucked things up. The implication is that Adam & Eve (& all the other critters) would have remained immortal in Paradise, & there would be no need for offspring, but because they couldn't leave well enough alone, God cast them out & punished them with mortality, & hence the need for reproduction. Pain in childbirth was part of the punishment, as was the need to work for sustenance.
This link between the Fall, original sin, sex, and death is a pretty major theme in theology, historically at least. Of course, it's somewhat contracted by the "be fruitful and multiply" comments in Genesis 1, just another sign that this had a different author to Gen 2. WėąṣėḷőįďWeaselly.jpgMethinks it is a Weasel 18:55, 2 March 2010 (UTC)
The problem with the concept that only in the Fall did Adam and Eve lose their immortality is that in Gen. 3:22 - 23, God specifically casts them out of Eden to ensure that they do not eat from the tree of life and gain immortality, not to mention the references to "father and mother" in the first version of the creation. This can just be chalked up to being one of the many inconsistancies in the Bible. — Unsigned, by: 204.86.148.231 / talk / contribs
How in Christian apologetics does this square with 2 Tim 2:15, she shall be saved in childbearing, if childbearing is sufferring and being "saved" is not something the individual can do for themselves? nobsWould you like anchovies on your sub-prime mortgage? 06:20, 7 March 2013 (UTC)

[edit] Genesis 3:17

And unto Adam he said, Because thou hast hearkened unto the voice of thy wife, and hast eaten of the tree, of which I commanded thee, saying, Thou shalt not eat of it: cursed is the ground for thy sake; in sorrow shalt thou eat of it all the days of thy life;

[edit] Genesis 3:17 Notes

The Bible's first clear statement on the nature of the relationship between men and women.

[edit] Genesis 3:18

Thorns also and thistles shall it bring forth to thee; and thou shalt eat the herb of the field;

[edit] Genesis 3:18 Notes

Repeats the theme from 2:5 that agriculture was practiced since the beginning of humankind, which is obviously not the case.

[edit] Genesis 3:19

In the sweat of thy face shalt thou eat bread, till thou return unto the ground; for out of it wast thou taken: for dust thou art, and unto dust shalt thou return.

[edit] Genesis 3:19 Notes

This is the first mention of death, and suggests that mortality was created a punishment for Adam and Eve's sin.

It's not clear why human sin should cause all other animals to be given to die of natural causes.

[edit] Genesis 3:20

And Adam called his wife's name Eve; because she was the mother of all living.

[edit] Genesis 3:20 Notes

[edit] Genesis 3:21

Unto Adam also and to his wife did the LORD God make coats of skins, and clothed them.

[edit] Genesis 3:21 Notes

So God was the first to perform an act of butchery. The man-made fig leafs offered no covering (See Is. 64:6) and God provided the atonement.

[edit] Genesis 3:22

And the LORD God said, Behold, the man is become as one of us, to know good and evil: and now, lest he put forth his hand, and take also of the tree of life, and eat, and live for ever:

[edit] Genesis 3:22 Notes

The tree of life is an interesting artifact in Genesis, because there is some consensus that "mortality" was one of the effects of the Fall, and that Adam and Eve were immortal until they ate from the tree of knowledge and were cast out. If everything in existence was immortal until that point, what then is the purpose of having a tree whose fruit grants immortality? If that was the case, then it's as if God created the tree of life because he knew that he would take immortality away from man during the Fall, and needed a backdoor to immortality to justify throwing them out of Eden in the first place.

There is also no explanation on the exact effects of the tree of life. Given that Adam and Eve weren't prohibited from eating from it, did the tree simply extend their lifespan as long as they consumed its fruit, or would one bite have the same type of effect as the tree of knowledge and instantly grant eternal life? And what would happen if they ate from the tree of life, only to later eat from the tree of knowledge?

[edit] Genesis 3:23

Therefore the LORD God sent him forth from the garden of Eden, to till the ground from whence he was taken.

[edit] Genesis 3:23 Notes

The theme from 2:5 is repeated for the third time.

[edit] Genesis 3:24

So he drove out the man; and he placed at the east of the garden of Eden Cherubim, and a flaming sword which turned every way, to keep the way of the tree of life.

[edit] Genesis 3:24 Notes

Anachronism. Being as fair as possible, that Omniscient God would have known what a sword was, by the logic of this story, Adam and Eve would not have known what a sword was. They are they only two people on earth, there has been no war yet, and they struggled to make their own clothes, let alone no advanced tools. The significance of the sword, both in its killing power and as a symbol of authority, would have been utterly lost on them. Another sign that this is a story written for later listeners than an accurate retelling of historical events.

[edit] Genesis Chapter 4 (Cain kills Abel)

[edit] Genesis 4:1

And Adam knew Eve his wife; and she conceived, and bare Cain, and said, I have gotten a man from the LORD.

[edit] Genesis 4:1 Notes

This is the first mention of sex between Adam and Eve, and it takes place after their banishment. This ties in with the theme that mortality, sexuality and reproduction were all results of the Fall.

[edit] Genesis 4:2

And she again bare his brother Abel. And Abel was a keeper of sheep, but Cain was a tiller of the ground.

[edit] Genesis 4:2 Notes

If the story of Cain and Abel is interpreted non-literally as a commentary on the conflicting ways of life of nomadic pastoralists and farmers, it gets a lot more interesting. The author considers pastoralism to be favored by God, and seemingly propagandizes by saying "farming is bad because murderers". This hints that the Bible was written by the modern day equivalent of conservatives. Relevant sketch

[edit] Genesis 4:3

And in process of time it came to pass, that Cain brought of the fruit of the ground an offering unto the LORD.

[edit] Genesis 4:3 Notes

[edit] Genesis 4:4

And Abel, he also brought of the firstlings of his flock and of the fat thereof. And the LORD had respect unto Abel and to his offering:

[edit] Genesis 4:4 Notes

See 4:5 note below.

[edit] Genesis 4:5

But unto Cain and to his offering he had not respect. And Cain was very wroth, and his countenance fell.

[edit] Genesis 4:5 Notes

No clear reason is given as to why Abel's offering (slaughtered baby animals) is good, but Cain's offering ("fruit of the ground") is bad. But the implication is that vegans are bad and carnies good!

[edit] Genesis 4:6

And the LORD said unto Cain, Why art thou wroth? and why is thy countenance fallen?

[edit] Genesis 4:6 Notes

[edit] Genesis 4:7

If thou doest well, shalt thou not be accepted? and if thou doest not well, sin lieth at the door. And unto thee shall be his desire, and thou shalt rule over him.

[edit] Genesis 4:7 Notes

[edit] Genesis 4:8

And Cain talked with Abel his brother: and it came to pass, when they were in the field, that Cain rose up against Abel his brother, and slew him.

[edit] Genesis 4:8 Notes

First murder in the Bible.

[edit] Genesis 4:9

And the LORD said unto Cain, Where is Abel thy brother? And he said, I know not: Am I my brother's keeper?

[edit] Genesis 4:9 Notes

Cain's "I know not: Am I my brother's keeper" question is quite odd. He's talking to God. Shouldn't his response question be: "Whadda ya asking me for? Don't you know where Abel is? Aren't you God?"

Of course the point here is that Cain is deliberately lying to God, and this is a BAD THING. Oddly enough God won't smite him like he does to most of the people who will lie to him in the future. Cain has to go wandering, but he'll eventually find a wife and live to a ripe old age - not a bad outcome for a liar and murderer. Compare this to poor old Achan in Joshua 7, who fails to donate some silver coins he found, which result in him (along with all his children) getting stoned to death and their corpses burned.

[edit] Genesis 4:10

And he said, What hast thou done? the voice of thy brother's blood crieth unto me from the ground.

[edit] Genesis 4:10 Notes

[edit] Genesis 4:11

And now art thou cursed from the earth, which hath opened her mouth to receive thy brother's blood from thy hand;

[edit] Genesis 4:11 Notes

Again "cursed from the earth" sounds pretty bad, but as it turns out all that happened was he moved to the land of Nod. Sure, we don't know exactly where Nod was, but it seems that it was in the general area - it wasn't like Cain had to move to Argentina or something.

[edit] Genesis 4:12

When thou tillest the ground, it shall not henceforth yield unto thee her strength; a fugitive and a vagabond shalt thou be in the earth.

[edit] Genesis 4:12 Notes

[edit] Genesis 4:13

And Cain said unto the LORD, My punishment is greater than I can bear.

[edit] Genesis 4:13 Notes

[edit] Genesis 4:14

Behold, thou hast driven me out this day from the face of the earth; and from thy face shall I be hid; and I shall be a fugitive and a vagabond in the earth; and it shall come to pass, that every one that findeth me shall slay me.

[edit] Genesis 4:14 Notes

Why is Cain worried about human retribution here? At this point, the entire human population is down to three people. (Okay, four, if you count whoever to become his childbearer woman wife)

Also see the notes to 4:11 above. "Driven... from the face of this earth" turns out to actually mean "forced to move to the next county".

[edit] Genesis 4:15

And the LORD said unto him, Therefore whosoever slayeth Cain, vengeance shall be taken on him sevenfold. And the LORD set a mark upon Cain, lest any finding him should kill him.

[edit] Genesis 4:15 Notes

There are many problems that arise from this verse.

Who is going to find him? Aren't there only three people alive in the world at the moment? Furthermore as Adam and Eve are probably perfectly capable of recognizing their own son, why the mark?

If one assumes there actually are other people somewhere, how will any of them know what the mark means? Is random murder such a common problem that Cain needed to be officially excluded in this way?

Also, in case you're wondering, this is where a lot of Religious Racism comes from.

[edit] Genesis 4:16

And Cain went out from the presence of the LORD, and dwelt in the land of Nod, on the east of Eden.

[edit] Genesis 4:16 Notes

What the hell? Suddenly it seems we have a brand new land called Nod, possibly populated by people who got there somehow.

Meanwhile Cain doesn't seem to properly grasp what being a "fugitive and a vagabond" actually means, as he seems to have settled down fairly promptly.

[edit] Genesis 4:17

And Cain knew his wife; and she conceived, and bare Enoch: and he builded a city, and called the name of the city, after the name of his son, Enoch.

[edit] Genesis 4:17 Notes

Cain's wife: So here Cain gets a wife. But where did she come from?

Either Nod was inhabited by people who already lived there (and were thus not the children of Adam and Eve), or Cain hooked up with a daughter of Adam and Eve, meaning he married his full-blood sister. The Mormons believe that Cain actually married one of his brother's daughters (ie. a niece)... although that still doesn't explain who the niece's mother was. (At the time incest was best it seems).

Basically it is far from clear where all these other people originate from (Cain's wife, the people he is afraid of, etc.) and doesn't seem to make sense for them all to be brothers and sisters. The continuity between the story of Adam and Eve, and that of Cain and Abel, is rather tenuous, and this is is one of the strongest indications that the early chapters of Genesis are just a collection of allegorical and moral tales, each with its own message, but not necessarily part of one great story.

City of Enoch: This verse also gives us the very first city in human history, named after Cain's firstborn. This city, despite its incredible historical significance, never gets mentioned again anywhere in the entire Bible. Which is a shame, because it would have been nice to know who lived in this city apart from Cain, his wife and his infant son. As a sidenote, this is the first Enoch, another one will get born later, and who is apparently still alive.

[edit] Genesis 4:18

And unto Enoch was born Irad: and Irad begat Mehujael: and Mehujael begat Methusael: and Methusael begat Lamech.

[edit] Genesis 4:18 Notes

Either Enoch was a hermaphrodite with self-reproductive capabilities, or there are some more unidentified women lurking somewhere.

[edit] Genesis 4:19

And Lamech took unto him two wives: the name of the one was Adah, and the name of the other Zillah.

[edit] Genesis 4:19 Notes

The first explicit mention of polygamy in the Bible. The wives actually have names this time, although (yet again) there is no explanation of where they came from.

[edit] Genesis 4:20

And Adah bare Jabal: he was the father of such as dwell in tents, and of such as have cattle.

[edit] Genesis 4:20 Notes

In a manner eerily similar to other ancient mythology, Genesis names the progenitors of nomadic shepherds, musicians and metalworkers.

[edit] Genesis 4:21

And his brother's name was Jubal: he was the father of all such as handle the harp and organ.

[edit] Genesis 4:21 Notes

[edit] Genesis 4:22

And Zillah, she also bare Tubalcain, an instructor of every artificer in brass and iron: and the sister of Tubalcain was Naamah.

[edit] Genesis 4:22 Notes

The reference to iron is yet another anachronism: smelted iron tools only became popular in Mesopotamia around 1500 BC, or long after the Ussher date of the flood. Earlier iron artifacts were made from meteoritic iron.

Naamah is the first female in the Bible whose birth is directly acknowledged.

[edit] Genesis 4:23

And Lamech said unto his wives, Adah and Zillah, Hear my voice; ye wives of Lamech, hearken unto my speech: for I have slain a man to my wounding, and a young man to my hurt.

[edit] Genesis 4:23 Notes

Whoa! Lamech comes on home and tells his wives he just killed somebody. Wow, the punishment that is coming will be huge!

[edit] Genesis 4:24

If Cain shall be avenged sevenfold, truly Lamech seventy and sevenfold.

[edit] Genesis 4:24 Notes

Or not. Lamech's punishment for murder is zilch - God doesn't even notice/care apparently. Meanwhile Lamech proudly announces that anyone who seeks vengeance on him will get it eleven times worse than anyone who tried to punish Cain.

I seriously need to get the name of Lamech's lawyer.

[edit] Genesis 4:25

And Adam knew his wife again; and she bare a son, and called his name Seth: For God, said she, hath appointed me another seed instead of Abel, whom Cain slew.

[edit] Genesis 4:25 Notes

The timeline is a bit fuzzy here, but the next chapter states that Adam was 130 years old when he knocked up Eve again.

[edit] Genesis 4:26

And to Seth, to him also there was born a son; and he called his name Enos: then began men to call upon the name of the LORD.

[edit] Genesis 4:26 Notes

Yeah, yeah, Seth found another mystery woman for a wife.

Meanwhile, this verse seems to be saying people had forgotten about God pretty intensely in the preceding 235 or so years. God didn't seem too fazed by that, which is kind of good, judging by how psychotic God is going to get later on at the slightest hint of disrespect.

[edit] Genesis Chapter 5 (Boring genealogies, Part 1)

[edit] Genesis 5:1

This is the book of the generations of Adam. In the day that God created man, in the likeness of God made he him;

[edit] Genesis 5:1 Notes

This starts the genealogy listed in the Bible, following the other religious figures. Note that the ages listed in the Bible imply that the individuals lives to around 800 years in a generation, compared to the modern life expectancies that aren't known to often exceed 120.

[edit] Genesis 5:2

Male and female created he them; and blessed them, and called their name Adam, in the day when they were created.

[edit] Genesis 5:2 Notes

Apparently they were all called Adam.

[edit] Genesis 5:3

And Adam lived an hundred and thirty years, and begat a son in his own likeness, and after his image; and called his name Seth:

[edit] Genesis 5:3 Notes

Adam was 130 years old when Seth was born.

[edit] Genesis 5:4

And the days of Adam after he had begotten Seth were eight hundred years: and he begat sons and daughters:

[edit] Genesis 5:4 Notes

Yay, finally some girls are born. We're still left with the vexing problem of who were the mothers of all the children born prior to now.

[edit] Genesis 5:5

And all the days that Adam lived were nine hundred and thirty years: and he died.

[edit] Genesis 5:5 Notes

And all that nine hundred and thirty years he never manages to pass down the essentials of enjoying such longevity (Maybe the Global flood did destroy it).

The general argument from apologists is that prior to the flood humanity had much longer life spans. The idea that before the Fall we had longer lifespans is plausible (in context at least), but why the flood took this nifty attribute away is not at all apparent. There is no known correlation between the human lifespan and being around a lot of rain or water (apart from falling in and drowning, which has a very strong correlation).

Some have argued that there was a mistranslation of the Hebrew and this number actually represents 930 lunar months, which puts Adam's age at a far more plausible 75 or so. Unfortunately there are references to other people siring children at the tender age of 35 (which in lunar month terms is only three years), so this argument is weak.

The most plausible explanation is probably simple "superhero" status - throughout history and in to the present day there has been a tendency to drastically exaggerate the attributes of mythic figures, from Hercules to Superman.

Also in case you forgot, Adam was supposed to die after eating from the tree of Good and Evil. Some apologists have argued that he did receive the assigned punishment, because he would have lived forever if he had not eaten the fruit and remained in the Garden of Eden. However if that is so, what was the tree of "Eternal Life" (the other tree mentioned in Genesis 2:9) for?

[edit] Genesis 5:6

And Seth lived an hundred and five years, and begat Enos:

[edit] Genesis 5:6 Notes

It took Seth this long to get his wife pregnant with his first son, Enos. Suggested explanations:

  • Seth receives really good abstinence education from God.
  • Seth has really advanced contraceptive technologies but the global flood destroyed it.
  • Seth is so unpopular with the ladies (which are probably his sisters or nieces anyway) that it take him this long to get a woman to like him enough to have sex with him.

Similar explanations apply for almost everyone in the lineage mentioned.

But if you're keeping track, Adam is 235 years old at this point.

[edit] Genesis 5:7

And Seth lived after he begat Enos eight hundred and seven years, and begat sons and daughters:

[edit] Genesis 5:7 Notes

This is pretty much how the rest of Chapter Five is going to go. Feel free to skip to the end, everyone else does.

[edit] Genesis 5:8

And all the days of Seth were nine hundred and twelve years: and he died.

[edit] Genesis 5:8 Notes

[edit] Genesis 5:9

And Enos lived ninety years, and begat Cainan:

[edit] Genesis 5:9 Notes

[edit] Genesis 5:10

And Enos lived after he begat Cainan eight hundred and fifteen years, and begat sons and daughters:

[edit] Genesis 5:10 Notes

[edit] Genesis 5:11

And all the days of Enos were nine hundred and five years: and he died.

[edit] Genesis 5:11 Notes

[edit] Genesis 5:12

And Cainan lived seventy years and begat Mahalaleel:

[edit] Genesis 5:12 Notes

[edit] Genesis 5:13

And Cainan lived after he begat Mahalaleel eight hundred and forty years, and begat sons and daughters:

[edit] Genesis 5:13 Notes

[edit] Genesis 5:14

And all the days of Cainan were nine hundred and ten years: and he died.

[edit] Genesis 5:14 Notes

[edit] Genesis 5:15

And Mahalaleel lived sixty and five years, and begat Jared:

[edit] Genesis 5:15 Notes

[edit] Genesis 5:16

And Mahalaleel lived after he begat Jared eight hundred and thirty years, and begat sons and daughters:

[edit] Genesis 5:16 Notes

[edit] Genesis 5:17

And all the days of Mahalaleel were eight hundred ninety and five years: and he died.

[edit] Genesis 5:17 Notes

[edit] Genesis 5:18

And Jared lived an hundred sixty and two years, and he begat Enoch:

[edit] Genesis 5:18 Notes

This is the second Enoch.

[edit] Genesis 5:19

And Jared lived after he begat Enoch eight hundred years, and begat sons and daughters:

[edit] Genesis 5:19 Notes

[edit] Genesis 5:20

And all the days of Jared were nine hundred sixty and two years: and he died.

[edit] Genesis 5:20 Notes

[edit] Genesis 5:21

And Enoch lived sixty and five years, and begat Methuselah:

[edit] Genesis 5:21 Notes

[edit] Genesis 5:22

And Enoch walked with God after he begat Methuselah three hundred years, and begat sons and daughters:

[edit] Genesis 5:22 Notes

[edit] Genesis 5:23

And all the days of Enoch were three hundred sixty and five years:

[edit] Genesis 5:23 Notes

Unlike other pre-flood individuals mentioned by name, Enoch lasted only 400 years compared to the parents (and thus, Jared must have watched his son die but at least have a grandson.)

[edit] Genesis 5:24

And Enoch walked with God: and he was not; for God took him.

[edit] Genesis 5:24 Notes

Enoch did not die. The Lord took him. This implies that Enoch is still alive in Heaven with God, making him the oldest living person named in the Bible.

[edit] Genesis 5:25

And Methuselah lived an hundred eighty and seven years, and begat Lamech.

[edit] Genesis 5:25 Notes

[edit] Genesis 5:26

And Methuselah lived after he begat Lamech seven hundred eighty and two years, and begat sons and daughters:

[edit] Genesis 5:26 Notes

[edit] Genesis 5:27

And all the days of Methuselah were nine hundred sixty and nine years: and he died.

[edit] Genesis 5:27 Notes

Methuselah is, besides the possible exception of Enoch, the longest living human in the bible, although it isn't explained why God was so ok with him living so long. The general idea is that he died either the year of the flood or a little while before.

[edit] Genesis 5:28

And Lamech lived an hundred eighty and two years, and begat a son:

[edit] Genesis 5:28 Notes

[edit] Genesis 5:29

And he called his name Noah, saying, This same shall comfort us concerning our work and toil of our hands, because of the ground which the LORD hath cursed.

[edit] Genesis 5:29 Notes

the curse is probably a reference to 3:17. Noah's name apparently means or shares a root with the word for rest.[3] It seems to me that basically the parents are saying oh good a child let's put him to work so we don't have to work as hard. In an era before child labor laws more kids meant more farm labor.

[edit] Genesis 5:30

And Lamech lived after he begat Noah five hundred ninety and five years, and begat sons and daughters:

[edit] Genesis 5:30 Notes

[edit] Genesis 5:31

And all the days of Lamech were seven hundred seventy and seven years: and he died.

[edit] Genesis 5:31 Notes

At this point, 1057 years passed since the birth of Adam, or 127 years since his death. Combined with at least 600 years that Noah took before the great flood, it basically requires squeezing most modern human history all since 2400 BCE if you take a simple guess that the Earth is only ~6014 years old (the current year + 4000).

Also of note is the age of which Lamech died - 777 years. It is parallel with Genesis 4:24, where Lamech notes that Cain was avenged sevenfold, and Lamech seventy-seven fold. Despite them being two different people, that name has an odd affinity for the number seven, and indicates that that age of death in multi-generational pre-history was purposely chosen by the author.

[edit] Genesis 5:32

And Noah was five hundred years old: and Noah begat Shem, Ham, and Japheth.

[edit] Genesis 5:32 Notes

Noah, one of the prophets, never manages to tell his followers (which should also be his offsprings/wives given the Global Flood) how to live for five hundred years, or even half as long. The goat definitely ate the secret and whoever kept the goat patched up the scripture in Genesis 6:3.

For those interested, the genealogy continues at Genesis 9:28

[edit] Genesis Chapter 6 (Everyone must drown! Part 1)

[edit] Genesis 6:1

And it came to pass, when men began to multiply on the face of the earth, and daughters were born unto them,

[edit] Genesis 6:1 Notes

[edit] Genesis 6:2

That the sons of God saw the daughters of men that they were fair; and they took them wives of all which they chose.

[edit] Genesis 6:2 Notes

Who or what are "the Sons of God"?

There are endless arguments over what this actually means, there's even an entire Wikipedia article.

This also runs into trouble much later, in the New Testament, where the Gospel of John (specifically John 3:16) refers to Jesus as God's only begotten son.

[edit] Genesis 6:3

And the LORD said, My spirit shall not always strive with man, for that he also is flesh: yet his days shall be an hundred and twenty years.

[edit] Genesis 6:3 Notes

The age limit is 120 years, but Genesis 11:10 and beyond still shows people lasting longer than that. A short life for humans, except when plot demands otherwise. Also, much more closely and much more provably, Jeanne Calment died after the age of 122.

[edit] Genesis 6:4

There were giants in the earth in those days; and also after that, when the sons of God came in unto the daughters of men, and they bare children to them, the same became mighty men which were of old, men of renown.

[edit] Genesis 6:4 Notes

See PZ Myers Pharyngula threads re.: Giants and Dwarfs(sic)


Translations other than the KJV have this differently. But based on the King James Only view that's what we're talking about here. ("Nephilim" is claimed by others to mean "fallen" - whatever that may mean in context - and is left untranslated in new English translations.)


[edit] Genesis 6:5

And God saw that the wickedness of man was great in the earth, and that every imagination of the thoughts of his heart was only evil continually.

[edit] Genesis 6:5 Notes

The nature of the wickedness is not explained. Also, as the Mosaic law has not yet even begun to be passed down, there are no official rules getting broken.

[edit] Genesis 6:6

And it repented the LORD that he had made man on the earth, and it grieved him at his heart.

[edit] Genesis 6:6 Notes

[edit] Genesis 6:7

And the LORD said, I will destroy man whom I have created from the face of the earth; both man, and beast, and the creeping thing, and the fowls of the air; for it repenteth me that I have made them.

[edit] Genesis 6:7 Notes

See Examples of God personally killing people

In this verse, God didn't like the result of his own creations. This implies he is either not Omniscient or that Omniscience doesn't extend to the consequences of His own actions.

[edit] Genesis 6:8

But Noah found grace in the eyes of the LORD.

[edit] Genesis 6:8 Notes

Why? If the Bible was intended as a moral guide, some clarification as to what all the bad people were doing wrong and what was so damn nifty about Noah might be useful.

[edit] Genesis 6:9

These are the generations of Noah: Noah was a just man and perfect in his generations, and Noah walked with God.

[edit] Genesis 6:9 Notes

OK, I give. Why?

[edit] Genesis 6:10

And Noah begat three sons, Shem, Ham, and Japheth.

[edit] Genesis 6:10 Notes

[edit] Genesis 6:11

The earth also was corrupt before God, and the earth was filled with violence.

[edit] Genesis 6:11 Notes

So every single man, woman and child alive on the Earth is engaged in violence and evil, except for Noah and his family.

Here's a fun party game: How many other "families" can you name that believed they were also in the same situation?

[edit] Genesis 6:12

And God looked upon the earth, and, behold, it was corrupt; for all flesh had corrupted his way upon the earth.

[edit] Genesis 6:12 Notes

Following the logic, the flesh had corrupted the Earth because of the tree that God himself made available to Adam way back when. Perhaps rather than blaming humanity, God might have thought "Hmmm, in hindsight, that tree was a bit of a cock-up".

[edit] Genesis 6:13

And God said unto Noah, The end of all flesh is come before me; for the earth is filled with violence through them; and, behold, I will destroy them with the earth.

[edit] Genesis 6:13 Notes

[edit] Genesis 6:14

Make thee an ark of gopher wood; rooms shalt thou make in the ark, and shalt pitch it within and without with pitch.

[edit] Genesis 6:14 Notes

Fun fact a quick google search for "gopher wood" reveals no one is 100% sure what kind of wood is being referred to here. The Hebrew is just the consonants g-p-r and it is somewhat unlikely the ancient Israelites had a word for an animal which is from North America; the most likely translation is "cypress" based on the similar letters used.

[edit] Genesis 6:15

And this is the fashion which thou shalt make it of: The length of the ark shall be three hundred cubits, the breadth of it fifty cubits, and the height of it thirty cubits.

[edit] Genesis 6:15 Notes

[edit] Genesis 6:16

A window shalt thou make to the ark, and in a cubit shalt thou finish it above; and the door of the ark shalt thou set in the side thereof; with lower, second, and third stories shalt thou make it.

[edit] Genesis 6:16 Notes

At this point, Noah must've said: "Do you think I wouldn't have a door, man? I'm not a fucking idiot, mate."

[edit] Genesis 6:17

And, behold, I, even I, do bring a flood of waters upon the earth, to destroy all flesh, wherein is the breath of life, from under heaven; and every thing that is in the earth shall die.

[edit] Genesis 6:17 Notes

For more details see Global flood.

[edit] Genesis 6:18

But with thee will I establish my covenant; and thou shalt come into the ark, thou, and thy sons, and thy wife, and thy sons' wives with thee.

[edit] Genesis 6:18 Notes

According to the genealogy, Methuselah and Lamech are still alive, and will last 100 more years. However, since the flood occurred 1657 years after Adam's birth, and Methuselah died only 1656 years after Adam's birth (Lamech dying 5 years earlier), they don't need to enter the ark.

[edit] Genesis 6:19

And of every living thing of all flesh, two of every sort shalt thou bring into the ark, to keep them alive with thee; they shall be male and female.

[edit] Genesis 6:19 Notes

Compare Gen. 7:2, which has different instructions for "clean" animals.

[edit] Genesis 6:20

Of fowls after their kind, and of cattle after their kind, of every creeping thing of the earth after his kind, two of every sort shall come unto thee, to keep them alive.

[edit] Genesis 6:20 Notes

[edit] Genesis 6:21

And take thou unto thee of all food that is eaten, and thou shalt gather it to thee; and it shall be for food for thee, and for them.

[edit] Genesis 6:21 Notes

[edit] Genesis 6:22

Thus did Noah; according to all that God commanded him, so did he.

[edit] Genesis 6:22 Notes

A six hundred year old man with no education in architecture or zoology built an ark and gathered two of every animal, and fourteen of every birds. Sounds reasonable to me (face palm).

[edit] Genesis Chapter 7 (Everyone must drown! Part 2)

[edit] Genesis 7:1

And the LORD said unto Noah, Come thou and all thy house into the ark; for thee have I seen righteous before me in this generation.

[edit] Genesis 7:1 Notes

[edit] Genesis 7:2

Of every clean beast thou shalt take to thee by sevens, the male and his female: and of beasts that are not clean by two, the male and his female.

[edit] Genesis 7:2 Notes

This may be a retrospective correction of Gen. 6:19.

If you want to take a small sample of a species (or "kind") and be able to repopulate that species fairly rapidly later on, seven specimens is a pretty good number. With only one pair, population renewal could only take place at the rate of the female's gestation, and there would be too high a risk of one of the animals dying before reproduction, or being infertile. But with, say, five females and two males, the rate of repopulation would be much quicker, and there would be a spare male in case of problems. Perhaps extinction risks were not such a concern with the "unclean" beasts.

The surplus "clean" animals would become useful in Gen. 8:20.

It's not actually clear here what distinguishes "clean" from "unclean" animals. It is usually presumed that the unclean animals are the ones not considered kosher (e.g. pigs, weasels). However, the food rules aren't laid out until much later, in the Torah books: Leviticus and Deuteronomy.

[edit] Genesis 7:3

Of fowls also of the air by sevens, the male and the female; to keep seed alive upon the face of all the earth.

[edit] Genesis 7:3 Notes

[edit] Genesis 7:4

For yet seven days, and I will cause it to rain upon the earth forty days and forty nights; and every living substance that I have made will I destroy from off the face of the earth.

[edit] Genesis 7:4 Notes

[edit] Genesis 7:5

And Noah did according unto all that the LORD commanded him.

[edit] Genesis 7:5 Notes

[edit] Genesis 7:6

And Noah was six hundred years old when the flood of waters was upon the earth.

[edit] Genesis 7:6 Notes

[edit] Genesis 7:7

And Noah went in, and his sons, and his wife, and his sons' wives with him, into the ark, because of the waters of the flood.

[edit] Genesis 7:7 Notes

[edit] Genesis 7:8

Of clean beasts, and of beasts that are not clean, and of fowls, and of every thing that creepeth upon the earth,

[edit] Genesis 7:8 Notes

[edit] Genesis 7:9

There went in two and two unto Noah into the ark, the male and the female, as God had commanded Noah.

[edit] Genesis 7:9 Notes

This verse contradicts Gen 7:2-3, where there were seven of every clean animal and fowl. See Number of each "kind" on Noah's Ark.

[edit] Genesis 7:10

And it came to pass after seven days, that the waters of the flood were upon the earth.

[edit] Genesis 7:10 Notes

The flood starts on day 8.

[edit] Genesis 7:11

In the six hundredth year of Noah's life, in the second month, the seventeenth day of the month, the same day were all the fountains of the great deep broken up, and the windows of heaven were opened.

[edit] Genesis 7:11 Notes

Okay bible, you don't have to be so specific on what day of his life it happened... we get, he's old as all hell.

[edit] Genesis 7:12

And the rain was upon the earth forty days and forty nights.

[edit] Genesis 7:12 Notes

Next starts day 48.

[edit] Genesis 7:13

In the selfsame day entered Noah, and Shem, and Ham, and Japheth, the sons of Noah, and Noah's wife, and the three wives of his sons with them, into the ark;

[edit] Genesis 7:13 Notes

[edit] Genesis 7:14

They, and every beast after his kind, and all the cattle after their kind, and every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth after his kind, and every fowl after his kind, every bird of every sort.

[edit] Genesis 7:14 Notes

[edit] Genesis 7:15

And they went in unto Noah into the ark, two and two of all flesh, wherein is the breath of life.

[edit] Genesis 7:15 Notes

[edit] Genesis 7:16

And they that went in, went in male and female of all flesh, as God had commanded him: and the LORD shut him in.

[edit] Genesis 7:16 Notes

Note the two different names for god in one sentence, "Elohim" and "YHWH". Two different names, two different gods, clearly a sign that these are two distinct stories that have been intertwined by a single editor.

[edit] Genesis 7:17

And the flood was forty days upon the earth; and the waters increased, and bare up the ark, and it was lift up above the earth.

[edit] Genesis 7:17 Notes

[edit] Genesis 7:18

And the waters prevailed, and were increased greatly upon the earth; and the ark went upon the face of the waters.

[edit] Genesis 7:18 Notes

[edit] Genesis 7:19

And the waters prevailed exceedingly upon the earth; and all the high hills, that were under the whole heaven, were covered.

[edit] Genesis 7:19 Notes

[edit] Genesis 7:20

Fifteen cubits upward did the waters prevail; and the mountains were covered.

[edit] Genesis 7:20 Notes

A cubit is generally standardized as eighteen inches - fifteen cubits is less than 25 feet. These are some very small mountains.

[edit] Genesis 7:21

And all flesh died that moved upon the earth, both of fowl, and of cattle, and of beast, and of every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth, and every man:

[edit] Genesis 7:21 Notes

[edit] Genesis 7:22

All in whose nostrils was the breath of life, of all that was in the dry land, died.

[edit] Genesis 7:22 Notes

The "breath of life" and verse 8:11 shows that the authors of Genesis did not consider plants to be alive in the same sense as animals.

[edit] Genesis 7:23

And every living substance was destroyed which was upon the face of the ground, both man, and cattle, and the creeping things, and the fowl of the heaven; and they were destroyed from the earth: and Noah only remained alive, and they that were with him in the ark.

[edit] Genesis 7:23 Notes

[edit] Genesis 7:24

And the waters prevailed upon the earth an hundred and fifty days.

[edit] Genesis 7:24 Notes

Next starts day 151. If you add 150 days to the counter, you'd end up with day 198, which conflicts with Gen. 8:4.

[edit] Genesis Chapter 8 (Everyone (except Noah) is now dead. Thanks God.)

[edit] Genesis 8:1

And God remembered Noah, and every living thing, and all the cattle that was with him in the ark: and God made a wind to pass over the earth, and the waters asswaged;

[edit] Genesis 8:1 Notes

"God remembered Noah" may also imply that God is not omniscient.

[edit] Genesis 8:2

The fountains also of the deep and the windows of heaven were stopped, and the rain from heaven was restrained;

[edit] Genesis 8:2 Notes

"Fountains also of the deep" lead some people to create a hydroplate theory.

But if you're one of three people who still read The Bible literally, you might expect that the rains were stopped at this point instead of day 48.

[edit] Genesis 8:3

And the waters returned from off the earth continually: and after the end of the hundred and fifty days the waters were abated.

[edit] Genesis 8:3 Notes

This described the same event as Genesis 7:23, and we're still on day 151.

[edit] Genesis 8:4

And the ark rested in the seventh month, on the seventeenth day of the month, upon the mountains of Ararat.

[edit] Genesis 8:4 Notes

Mountains of Ararat refers to a general region. In Syrian and Quaranic tradition, the specific landing point is on Mount Judi, found in Turkey (but near Syria). To add a bit of confusion, Turkey also has a Mount Ararat as well, which is closer to Georgia.

Also, 5 months passed since Gen 7:12.

[edit] Genesis 8:5

And the waters decreased continually until the tenth month: in the tenth month, on the first day of the month, were the tops of the mountains seen.

[edit] Genesis 8:5 Notes

From the timing shown in Gen 7:11, eight and a half months passed.

[edit] Genesis 8:6

And it came to pass at the end of forty days, that Noah opened the window of the ark which he had made:

[edit] Genesis 8:6 Notes

8.5 months plus 40 days.

[edit] Genesis 8:7

And he sent forth a raven, which went forth to and fro, until the waters were dried up from off the earth.

[edit] Genesis 8:7 Notes

[edit] Genesis 8:8

Also he sent forth a dove from him, to see if the waters were abated from off the face of the ground;

[edit] Genesis 8:8 Notes

[edit] Genesis 8:9

But the dove found no rest for the sole of her foot, and she returned unto him into the ark, for the waters were on the face of the whole earth: then he put forth his hand, and took her, and pulled her in unto him into the ark.

[edit] Genesis 8:9 Notes

Gen 8:5 said that tops of the mountains were already visible. Did the clock turn back to before 8.5 months?

[edit] Genesis 8:10

And he stayed yet other seven days; and again he sent forth the dove out of the ark;

[edit] Genesis 8:10 Notes

[edit] Genesis 8:11

And the dove came in to him in the evening; and, lo, in her mouth was an olive leaf pluckt off: so Noah knew that the waters were abated from off the earth.

[edit] Genesis 8:11 Notes

Either trees aren't "living things" (7:23) and hence didn't die along with everything else, or they somehow regrew at an astonishing speed.

[edit] Genesis 8:12

And he stayed yet other seven days; and sent forth the dove; which returned not again unto him any more.

[edit] Genesis 8:12 Notes

[edit] Genesis 8:13

And it came to pass in the six hundredth and first year, in the first month, the first day of the month, the waters were dried up from off the earth: and Noah removed the covering of the ark, and looked, and, behold, the face of the ground was dry.

[edit] Genesis 8:13 Notes

Noah is 601 years old now.

[edit] Genesis 8:14

And in the second month, on the seven and twentieth day of the month, was the earth dried.

[edit] Genesis 8:14 Notes

Net time of the flood was just over about 1 year, before everything returned to normal.

To survive that long, you need to store or harvest 1 year's worth of food for 8 people, along with the animals in the ark.

[edit] Genesis 8:15

And God spake unto Noah, saying,

[edit] Genesis 8:15 Notes

[edit] Genesis 8:16

Go forth of the ark, thou, and thy wife, and thy sons, and thy sons' wives with thee.

[edit] Genesis 8:16 Notes

[edit] Genesis 8:17

Bring forth with thee every living thing that is with thee, of all flesh, both of fowl, and of cattle, and of every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth; that they may breed abundantly in the earth, and be fruitful, and multiply upon the earth.

[edit] Genesis 8:17 Notes

[edit] Genesis 8:18

And Noah went forth, and his sons, and his wife, and his sons' wives with him:

[edit] Genesis 8:18 Notes

[edit] Genesis 8:19

Every beast, every creeping thing, and every fowl, and whatsoever creepeth upon the earth, after their kinds, went forth out of the ark.

[edit] Genesis 8:19 Notes

How did the kangaroos and platypi get to Australia?

[edit] Genesis 8:20

And Noah builded an altar unto the LORD; and took of every clean beast, and of every clean fowl, and offered burnt offerings on the altar.

[edit] Genesis 8:20 Notes

If there's just two of each animal, such a sacrifice would nullify the purpose behind bringing them on the ark. This is not a problem with Genesis 7:2, where the seven animals were taken, and the 7th animal is a spare.

Of course, we're down a dove and a raven at this point, as they never returned.

[edit] Genesis 8:21

And the LORD smelled a sweet savour; and the LORD said in his heart, I will not again curse the ground any more for man's sake; for the imagination of man's heart is evil from his youth; neither will I again smite any more every thing living, as I have done.

[edit] Genesis 8:21 Notes

This verse states that humans are generally evil.

Even though God promised to never curse the ground again or destroy all living beings, there's still loopholes that permit destroying everything within a small area, or smiting creatures one at a time.

[edit] Genesis 8:22

While the earth remaineth, seedtime and harvest, and cold and heat, and summer and winter, and day and night shall not cease.

[edit] Genesis 8:22 Notes

This verse states that there won't be any worldwide apocalypse any time soon - aside from just wiping out all humans and keeping everything else alive.

There is a reference to 'seedtime and harvest', but no mention of Noah taking any grain to sow after the flood.

[edit] Genesis Chapter 9 (God promises to stop being such a bastard. Noah gets drunk and naked.)

[edit] Genesis 9:1

And God blessed Noah and his sons, and said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth.

[edit] Genesis 9:1 Notes

9:1-3 are essentially identical to 1:28, indicating either a renewal of the covenant, or that Genesis 1 covered everything up to Noah without saying so. Like 1:28, many Christians, including Roman Catholics, use this verse to justify their opposition to contraception.

[edit] Genesis 9:2

And the fear of you and the dread of you shall be upon every beast of the earth, and upon every fowl of the air, upon all that moveth upon the earth, and upon all the fishes of the sea; into your hand are they delivered.

[edit] Genesis 9:2 Notes

All animals will now be scared of people. Nice.

[edit] Genesis 9:3

Every moving thing that liveth shall be meat for you; even as the green herb have I given you all things.

[edit] Genesis 9:3 Notes

Apparently up until now everyone was a vegetarian. Don't ask us about the mammoths.

This also discards the clean-unclean distinction God clearly made to Noah in explaining how to stock the Ark (though that distinction is itself suspect at this point, as noted earlier, since what makes an animal clean or unclean won't be explained until much later).

[edit] Genesis 9:4

But flesh with the life thereof, which is the blood thereof, shall ye not eat.

[edit] Genesis 9:4 Notes

[edit] Genesis 9:5

And surely your blood of your lives will I require; at the hand of every beast will I require it, and at the hand of man; at the hand of every man's brother will I require the life of man.

[edit] Genesis 9:5 Notes

[edit] Genesis 9:6

Whoso sheddeth man's blood, by man shall his blood be shed: for in the image of God made he man.

[edit] Genesis 9:6 Notes

Unless Cain or Lamech does the shedding. Or one of the many, many other people who will end up spilling blood on God's orders.

[edit] Genesis 9:7

And you, be ye fruitful, and multiply; bring forth abundantly in the earth, and multiply therein.

[edit] Genesis 9:7 Notes

God seriously is worried about humanity going extinct. Shouldn't everyone have got the point by now.

[edit] Genesis 9:8

And God spake unto Noah, and to his sons with him, saying,

[edit] Genesis 9:8 Notes

[edit] Genesis 9:9

And I, behold, I establish my covenant with you, and with your seed after you;

[edit] Genesis 9:9 Notes

[edit] Genesis 9:10

And with every living creature that is with you, of the fowl, of the cattle, and of every beast of the earth with you; from all that go out of the ark, to every beast of the earth.

[edit] Genesis 9:10 Notes

[edit] Genesis 9:11

And I will establish my covenant with you, neither shall all flesh be cut off any more by the waters of a flood; neither shall there any more be a flood to destroy the earth.

[edit] Genesis 9:11 Notes

[edit] Genesis 9:12

And God said, This is the token of the covenant which I make between me and you and every living creature that is with you, for perpetual generations:

[edit] Genesis 9:12 Notes

[edit] Genesis 9:13

I do set my bow in the cloud, and it shall be for a token of a covenant between me and the earth.

[edit] Genesis 9:13 Notes

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So, there were no rainbows before now? Either there was no rain or atmospheric water vapor in the previous centuries, or God always made sure the conditions needed for rainbows never occurred, or God somehow modified the refractive properties of light and/or water just to make a point.

[edit] Genesis 9:14

And it shall come to pass, when I bring a cloud over the earth, that the bow shall be seen in the cloud:

[edit] Genesis 9:14 Notes

Except when it isn't, which is most of the time.

[edit] Genesis 9:15

And I will remember my covenant, which is between me and you and every living creature of all flesh; and the waters shall no more become a flood to destroy all flesh.

[edit] Genesis 9:15 Notes

Which doesn't fit in with the existence of tsunamis.

[edit] Genesis 9:16

And the bow shall be in the cloud; and I will look upon it, that I may remember the everlasting covenant between God and every living creature of all flesh that is upon the earth.

[edit] Genesis 9:16 Notes

Did God really just say he needs a rainbow to remind himself that he promised not to kill everyone again?

[edit] Genesis 9:17

And God said unto Noah, This is the token of the covenant, which I have established between me and all flesh that is upon the earth.

[edit] Genesis 9:17 Notes

[edit] Genesis 9:18

And the sons of Noah, that went forth of the ark, were Shem, and Ham, and Japheth: and Ham is the father of Canaan.

[edit] Genesis 9:18 Notes

Ham, the son of Noah, is the father of Canaan. Park that little fact in your memory for when you get to the Book of Joshua. I don't want to spoil the story, but it doesn't pan out very well for the Canaanites.

[edit] Genesis 9:19

These are the three sons of Noah: and of them was the whole earth overspread.

[edit] Genesis 9:19 Notes

[edit] Genesis 9:20

And Noah began to be an husbandman, and he planted a vineyard:

[edit] Genesis 9:20 Notes

[edit] Genesis 9:21

And he drank of the wine, and was drunken; and he was uncovered within his tent.

[edit] Genesis 9:21 Notes

Noah pioneered the tradition of God's chosen righteous men celebrating God's grace by getting drunk and naked. The pattern continues later with Lot in Genesis 19:33.

[edit] Genesis 9:22

And Ham, the father of Canaan, saw the nakedness of his father, and told his two brethren without.

[edit] Genesis 9:22 Notes

[edit] Genesis 9:23

And Shem and Japheth took a garment, and laid it upon both their shoulders, and went backward, and covered the nakedness of their father; and their faces were backward, and they saw not their father's nakedness.

[edit] Genesis 9:23 Notes

This verse highlights the Bible's obsession with nakedness. It makes it clear that the wrongful act of Ham was not that he went and told everyone that his father had exhibitionist tendencies while wasted, it was that he simply saw his father naked.

[edit] Genesis 9:24

And Noah awoke from his wine, and knew what his younger son had done unto him.

[edit] Genesis 9:24 Notes

So just so you understand, Ham accidentally saw his drunken father naked. This seemingly trivial action will eventually lead to the deaths of literally thousands of people.

[edit] Genesis 9:25

And he said, Cursed be Canaan; a servant of servants shall he be unto his brethren.

[edit] Genesis 9:25 Notes

See Curse of Ham. By the end of this there is yet another curse and the flood, as will become very evident within a few chapters, achieved absolutely nothing except inundating an entire planet.

[edit] Genesis 9:26

And he said, Blessed be the LORD God of Shem; and Canaan shall be his servant.

[edit] Genesis 9:26 Notes

[edit] Genesis 9:27

God shall enlarge Japheth, and he shall dwell in the tents of Shem; and Canaan shall be his servant.

[edit] Genesis 9:27 Notes

[edit] Genesis 9:28

And Noah lived after the flood three hundred and fifty years.

[edit] Genesis 9:28 Notes

[edit] Genesis 9:29

And all the days of Noah were nine hundred and fifty years: and he died.

[edit] Genesis 9:29 Notes

Remember Genesis 6:3? 120 years and all that?

[edit] Genesis Chapter 10 (Boring genealogies, Part 2)

[edit] Genesis 10:1

Now these are the generations of the sons of Noah, Shem, Ham, and Japheth: and unto them were sons born after the flood.

[edit] Genesis 10:1 Notes

This entire chapter is genealogy. The next event is in Genesis 11:1.

[edit] Genesis 10:2

The sons of Japheth; Gomer, and Magog, and Madai, and Javan, and Tubal, and Meshech, and Tiras.

[edit] Genesis 10:2 Notes

[edit] Genesis 10:3

And the sons of Gomer; Ashkenaz, and Riphath, and Togarmah.

[edit] Genesis 10:3 Notes

[edit] Genesis 10:4

And the sons of Javan; Elishah, and Tarshish, Kittim, and Dodanim.

[edit] Genesis 10:4 Notes

[edit] Genesis 10:5

By these were the isles of the Gentiles divided in their lands; every one after his tongue, after their families, in their nations.

[edit] Genesis 10:5 Notes

[edit] Genesis 10:6

And the sons of Ham; Cush, and Mizraim, and Phut, and Canaan.

[edit] Genesis 10:6 Notes

[edit] Genesis 10:7

And the sons of Cush; Seba, and Havilah, and Sabtah, and Raamah, and Sabtechah: and the sons of Raamah; Sheba, and Dedan.

[edit] Genesis 10:7 Notes

[edit] Genesis 10:8

And Cush begat Nimrod: he began to be a mighty one in the earth.

[edit] Genesis 10:8 Notes

[edit] Genesis 10:9

He was a mighty hunter before the LORD: wherefore it is said, Even as Nimrod the mighty hunter before the LORD.

[edit] Genesis 10:9 Notes

[edit] Genesis 10:10

And the beginning of his kingdom was Babel, and Erech, and Accad, and Calneh, in the land of Shinar.

[edit] Genesis 10:10 Notes

[edit] Genesis 10:11

Out of that land went forth Asshur, and builded Nineveh, and the city Rehoboth, and Calah,

[edit] Genesis 10:11 Notes

[edit] Genesis 10:12

And Resen between Nineveh and Calah: the same is a great city.

[edit] Genesis 10:12 Notes

[edit] Genesis 10:13

And Mizraim begat Ludim, and Anamim, and Lehabim, and Naphtuhim,

[edit] Genesis 10:13 Notes

[edit] Genesis 10:14

And Pathrusim, and Casluhim, (out of whom came Philistim,) and Caphtorim.

[edit] Genesis 10:14 Notes

[edit] Genesis 10:15

And Canaan begat Sidon his first born, and Heth,

[edit] Genesis 10:15 Notes

[edit] Genesis 10:16

And the Jebusite, and the Amorite, and the Girgasite,

[edit] Genesis 10:16 Notes

[edit] Genesis 10:17

And the Hivite, and the Arkite, and the Sinite,

[edit] Genesis 10:17 Notes

[edit] Genesis 10:18

And the Arvadite, and the Zemarite, and the Hamathite: and afterward were the families of the Canaanites spread abroad.

[edit] Genesis 10:18 Notes

[edit] Genesis 10:19

And the border of the Canaanites was from Sidon, as thou comest to Gerar, unto Gaza; as thou goest, unto Sodom, and Gomorrah, and Admah, and Zeboim, even unto Lasha.

[edit] Genesis 10:19 Notes

[edit] Genesis 10:20

These are the sons of Ham, after their families, after their tongues, in their countries, and in their nations.

[edit] Genesis 10:20 Notes

[edit] Genesis 10:21

Unto Shem also, the father of all the children of Eber, the brother of Japheth the elder, even to him were children born.

[edit] Genesis 10:21 Notes

[edit] Genesis 10:22

The children of Shem; Elam, and Asshur, and Arphaxad, and Lud, and Aram.

[edit] Genesis 10:22 Notes

[edit] Genesis 10:23

And the children of Aram; Uz, and Hul, and Gether, and Mash.

[edit] Genesis 10:23 Notes

[edit] Genesis 10:24

And Arphaxad begat Salah; and Salah begat Eber.

[edit] Genesis 10:24 Notes

[edit] Genesis 10:25

And unto Eber were born two sons: the name of one was Peleg; for in his days was the earth divided; and his brother's name was Joktan.

[edit] Genesis 10:25 Notes

[edit] Genesis 10:26

And Joktan begat Almodad, and Sheleph, and Hazarmaveth, and Jerah,

[edit] Genesis 10:26 Notes

[edit] Genesis 10:27

And Hadoram, and Uzal, and Diklah,

[edit] Genesis 10:27 Notes

[edit] Genesis 10:28

And Obal, and Abimael, and Sheba,

[edit] Genesis 10:28 Notes

[edit] Genesis 10:29

And Ophir, and Havilah, and Jobab: all these were the sons of Joktan.

[edit] Genesis 10:29 Notes

[edit] Genesis 10:30

And their dwelling was from Mesha, as thou goest unto Sephar a mount of the east.

[edit] Genesis 10:30 Notes

[edit] Genesis 10:31

These are the sons of Shem, after their families, after their tongues, in their lands, after their nations.

[edit] Genesis 10:31 Notes

[edit] Genesis 10:32

These are the families of the sons of Noah, after their generations, in their nations: and by these were the nations divided in the earth after the flood.

[edit] Genesis 10:32 Notes

[edit] Genesis Chapter 11 (Communication is bad, mmkay? Plus Boring genealogies, Part 3)

[edit] Genesis 11:1

And the whole earth was of one language, and of one speech.

[edit] Genesis 11:1 Notes

See also Tower of Babel

Interestingly, as we shall see in the verses to come, this is seen as a bad thing.

This verse directly contradicts Gen 10:5, 10:20 and even 10:31, which was only two verses earlier.

[edit] Genesis 11:2

And it came to pass, as they journeyed from the east, that they found a plain in the land of Shinar; and they dwelt there.

[edit] Genesis 11:2 Notes

Who is this "they" that are journeying from the east?

[edit] Genesis 11:3

And they said one to another, Go to, let us make brick, and burn them thoroughly. And they had brick for stone, and slime had they for morter.

[edit] Genesis 11:3 Notes

Yes slime. Apparently it is also the name of a type of clay mixed with pitch.

[edit] Genesis 11:4

And they said, Go to, let us build us a city and a tower, whose top may reach unto heaven; and let us make us a name, lest we be scattered abroad upon the face of the whole earth.

[edit] Genesis 11:4 Notes

Today, their behavior is interpreted as "hubris," or false pride. This is probably because God is the jealous type, and he will only tolerate monuments that are in his honor.

[edit] Genesis 11:5

And the LORD came down to see the city and the tower, which the children of men builded.

[edit] Genesis 11:5 Notes

[edit] Genesis 11:6

And the LORD said, Behold, the people is one, and they have all one language; and this they begin to do: and now nothing will be restrained from them, which they have imagined to do.

[edit] Genesis 11:6 Notes

Apparently God is a little insecure - he feels threatened by human beings being able to work together.

[edit] Genesis 11:7

Go to, let us go down, and there confound their language, that they may not understand one another's speech.

[edit] Genesis 11:7 Notes

Presumably "us" refers to God and his angels, although it is also possible that this line is a vestigial remain from when this story featured numerous gods instead of one.

Despite this verse, there is much less resistance to claims that languages evolved over time. Namely, achievements have still been made in spite of current language barriers (countered by bilingualism), and we have constructed much larger towers since Babel.

[edit] Genesis 11:8

So the LORD scattered them abroad from thence upon the face of all the earth: and they left off to build the city.

[edit] Genesis 11:8 Notes

So, let me get this straight: God doesn't want people to be united or work together communally? And we're supposed to worship this guy?

[edit] Genesis 11:9

Therefore is the name of it called Babel; because the LORD did there confound the language of all the earth: and from thence did the LORD scatter them abroad upon the face of all the earth.

[edit] Genesis 11:9 Notes

[edit] Genesis 11:10

These are the generations of Shem: Shem was an hundred years old, and begat Arphaxad two years after the flood:

[edit] Genesis 11:10 Notes

With a new genealogy starting, note the maximum age of these individuals begins to drop. They're still above 120 years, which is supposed to be a limit described in Genesis 6:3.

[edit] Genesis 11:11

And Shem lived after he begat Arphaxad five hundred years, and begat sons and daughters.

[edit] Genesis 11:11 Notes

Contradicts Genesis 6:3 as noted above.

[edit] Genesis 11:12

And Arphaxad lived five and thirty years, and begat Salah:

[edit] Genesis 11:12 Notes

[edit] Genesis 11:13

And Arphaxad lived after he begat Salah four hundred and three years, and begat sons and daughters.

[edit] Genesis 11:13 Notes

Contradicts Genesis 6:3 as noted above. (This will start to get repetitive).

[edit] Genesis 11:14

And Salah lived thirty years, and begat Eber:

[edit] Genesis 11:14 Notes

[edit] Genesis 11:15

And Salah lived after he begat Eber four hundred and three years, and begat sons and daughters.

[edit] Genesis 11:15 Notes

You guessed it, contradicts Genesis 6:3.

[edit] Genesis 11:16

And Eber lived four and thirty years, and begat Peleg:

[edit] Genesis 11:16 Notes

[edit] Genesis 11:17

And Eber lived after he begat Peleg four hundred and thirty years, and begat sons and daughters.

[edit] Genesis 11:17 Notes

Doesn't contradict Genesis 6:3!

Nah, just kidding, it does.

[edit] Genesis 11:18

And Peleg lived thirty years, and begat Reu:

[edit] Genesis 11:18 Notes

[edit] Genesis 11:19

And Peleg lived after he begat Reu two hundred and nine years, and begat sons and daughters.

[edit] Genesis 11:19 Notes

La de dah. Fill in the blanks yourself.

[edit] Genesis 11:20

And Reu lived two and thirty years, and begat Serug:

[edit] Genesis 11:20 Notes

[edit] Genesis 11:21

And Reu lived after he begat Serug two hundred and seven years, and begat sons and daughters.

[edit] Genesis 11:21 Notes

Hmmm... I'm getting this weird rash, I wonder what it is?

[edit] Genesis 11:22

And Serug lived thirty years, and begat Nahor:

[edit] Genesis 11:22 Notes

[edit] Genesis 11:23

And Serug lived after he begat Nahor two hundred years, and begat sons and daughters.

[edit] Genesis 11:23 Notes

Only two to go!

[edit] Genesis 11:24

And Nahor lived nine and twenty years, and begat Terah:

[edit] Genesis 11:24 Notes

[edit] Genesis 11:25

And Nahor lived after he begat Terah an hundred and nineteen years, and begat sons and daughters.

[edit] Genesis 11:25 Notes

The second last and the youngest of them all at only 148 years... but still longer than the maximum 120 years God decreed back in Genesis 6:3.

[edit] Genesis 11:26

And Terah lived seventy years, and begat Abram, Nahor, and Haran.

[edit] Genesis 11:26 Notes

[edit] Genesis 11:27

Now these are the generations of Terah: Terah begat Abram, Nahor, and Haran; and Haran begat Lot.

[edit] Genesis 11:27 Notes

[edit] Genesis 11:28

And Haran died before his father Terah in the land of his nativity, in Ur of the Chaldees.

[edit] Genesis 11:28 Notes

[edit] Genesis 11:29

And Abram and Nahor took them wives: the name of Abram's wife was Sarai; and the name of Nahor's wife, Milcah, the daughter of Haran, the father of Milcah, and the father of Iscah.

[edit] Genesis 11:29 Notes

OK just a warning. For the next few chapters, we'll be hearing all about Abram and Sarai. Then in Chapter 17 God decides for some reason they need to be called Abraham and Sarah instead.

[edit] Genesis 11:30

But Sarai was barren; she had no child.

[edit] Genesis 11:30 Notes

[edit] Genesis 11:31

And Terah took Abram his son, and Lot the son of Haran his son's son, and Sarai his daughter in law, his son Abram's wife; and they went forth with them from Ur of the Chaldees, to go into the land of Canaan; and they came unto Haran, and dwelt there.

[edit] Genesis 11:31 Notes

[edit] Genesis 11:32

And the days of Terah were two hundred and five years: and Terah died in Haran.

[edit] Genesis 11:32 Notes

Given all the lineages above, the following people were still alive when Terah died:

  • Shem (73 years left)
  • Arphaxad (13 years left)
  • Salah (43 years left)
  • Eber (104 years left)

It must be strange for these people to watch their descendants die of old age before them.

Some good news, Terah is the last of the descendants of Noah who ignored God's decree about not living longer than 120 years.

[edit] Genesis Chapter 12 (Meet Abraham, a liar and a pimp)

[edit] Genesis 12:1

Now the LORD had said unto Abram, Get thee out of thy country, and from thy kindred, and from thy father's house, unto a land that I will shew thee:

[edit] Genesis 12:1 Notes

[edit] Genesis 12:2

And I will make of thee a great nation, and I will bless thee, and make thy name great; and thou shalt be a blessing:

[edit] Genesis 12:2 Notes

[edit] Genesis 12:3

And I will bless them that bless thee, and curse him that curseth thee: and in thee shall all families of the earth be blessed.

[edit] Genesis 12:3 Notes

Handy hint: Worship Abram/Abraham. God will fuck you up otherwise.

[edit] Genesis 12:4

So Abram departed, as the LORD had spoken unto him; and Lot went with him: and Abram was seventy and five years old when he departed out of Haran.

[edit] Genesis 12:4 Notes

[edit] Genesis 12:5

And Abram took Sarai his wife, and Lot his brother's son, and all their substance that they had gathered, and the souls that they had gotten in Haran; and they went forth to go into the land of Canaan; and into the land of Canaan they came.

[edit] Genesis 12:5 Notes

[edit] Genesis 12:6

And Abram passed through the land unto the place of Sichem, unto the plain of Moreh. And the Canaanite was then in the land.

[edit] Genesis 12:6 Notes

A recap: the Canaanites are descended from Ham, who is the son who accidentally saw his drunken, passed out father (Noah) naked.

Obviously, this makes them BAD people. Now just remember that - Canaanites are BAD. Try to forget WHY they are bad, just remember they are BAD. It will make the Book of Joshua much easier to get through.

[edit] Genesis 12:7

And the LORD appeared unto Abram, and said, Unto thy seed will I give this land: and there builded he an altar unto the LORD, who appeared unto him.

[edit] Genesis 12:7 Notes

"One of your great-great-uncles saw his daddy naked, so I'm giving your descendants all of this land".

[edit] Genesis 12:8

And he removed from thence unto a mountain on the east of Bethel, and pitched his tent, having Bethel on the west, and Hai on the east: and there he builded an altar unto the LORD, and called upon the name of the LORD.

[edit] Genesis 12:8 Notes

[edit] Genesis 12:9

And Abram journeyed, going on still toward the south.

[edit] Genesis 12:9 Notes

[edit] Genesis 12:10

And there was a famine in the land: and Abram went down into Egypt to sojourn there; for the famine was grievous in the land.

[edit] Genesis 12:10 Notes

"Fuck all these starving people, I'm going on vacation."

[edit] Genesis 12:11

And it came to pass, when he was come near to enter into Egypt, that he said unto Sarai his wife, Behold now, I know that thou art a fair woman to look upon:

[edit] Genesis 12:11 Notes

[edit] Genesis 12:12

Therefore it shall come to pass, when the Egyptians shall see thee, that they shall say, This is his wife: and they will kill me, but they will save thee alive.

[edit] Genesis 12:12 Notes

Based on the ages given elsewhere, Sarai/Sarah was 70 years old at this point. But apparently still way too foxy for the Egyptians to handle.

[edit] Genesis 12:13

Say, I pray thee, thou art my sister: that it may be well with me for thy sake; and my soul shall live because of thee.

[edit] Genesis 12:13 Notes

Sarai is technically Abram's sister, as will be revealed later.

Also note that it is clear that Abram/Abraham knows that Sarah is so smoking hot that Pharoah will take her for his own wife.

However, rather than explore viable alternatives like, say, not fucking going into Egypt in the first place, he tells her to lie and say she is his sister. This will not stop Pharoah at all, but it will stop the Egyptians from killing Abraham so as to make Sarah a widow.

Of course, when the nasty, murderous, evil Egyptians later learn the truth, they actually do nothing of the sort, and merely send Abraham on his way.

[edit] Genesis 12:14

And it came to pass, that, when Abram was come into Egypt, the Egyptians beheld the woman that she was very fair.

[edit] Genesis 12:14 Notes

[edit] Genesis 12:15

The princes also of Pharaoh saw her, and commended her before Pharaoh: and the woman was taken into Pharaoh's house.

[edit] Genesis 12:15 Notes

Pharoah has a bit of a GILF thing going on, apparently.

[edit] Genesis 12:16

And he entreated Abram well for her sake: and he had sheep, and oxen, and he asses, and menservants, and maidservants, and she asses, and camels.

[edit] Genesis 12:16 Notes

So Abraham is not only lying about it being his wife and not his sister** with Pharoah, but he is cashing in to boot. What a guy.

In modern day language, this is known as "pimping".

(**Yeah, yeah. She technically IS his sister as well).

[edit] Genesis 12:17

And the LORD plagued Pharaoh and his house with great plagues because of Sarai Abram's wife.

[edit] Genesis 12:17 Notes

How, exactly, is Pharoah the bad guy in this scenario?

[edit] Genesis 12:18

And Pharaoh called Abram and said, What is this that thou hast done unto me? why didst thou not tell me that she was thy wife?

[edit] Genesis 12:18 Notes

Pharoah has a pretty solid argument here.

[edit] Genesis 12:19

Why saidst thou, She is my sister? so I might have taken her to me to wife: now therefore behold thy wife, take her, and go thy way.

[edit] Genesis 12:19 Notes

So Pharoah, having just been severely fucked over by both Abraham AND God, simply (and rather graciously) says, "just take your wife and leave".

Fortunately, God will be back to fuck the evil Egyptians over plenty more, so don't fret.

[edit] Genesis 12:20

And Pharaoh commanded his men concerning him: and they sent him away, and his wife, and all that he had.

[edit] Genesis 12:20 Notes

Which, given what just transpired, is more than fair.

[edit] Genesis Chapter 13

[edit] Genesis 13:1

And Abram went up out of Egypt, he, and his wife, and all that he had, and Lot with him, into the south.

[edit] Genesis 13:1 Notes

[edit] Genesis 13:2

And Abram was very rich in cattle, in silver, and in gold.

[edit] Genesis 13:2 Notes

Given that Abraham left "the land of famine" with not much, all this wealth must have come from his time in Egypt when he was pimping Sarah.

Alternatively, if he did have all these cattle when he was in the land of famine, this means he preferred to allow a whole bunch of people to starve to death rather that lose a few cows.

[edit] Genesis 13:3

And he went on his journeys from the south even to Bethel, unto the place where his tent had been at the beginning, between Bethel and Hai;

[edit] Genesis 13:3 Notes

[edit] Genesis 13:4

Unto the place of the altar, which he had make there at the first: and there Abram called on the name of the LORD.

[edit] Genesis 13:4 Notes

[edit] Genesis 13:5

And Lot also, which went with Abram, had flocks, and herds, and tents.

[edit] Genesis 13:5 Notes

[edit] Genesis 13:6

And the land was not able to bear them, that they might dwell together: for their substance was great, so that they could not dwell together.

[edit] Genesis 13:6 Notes

[edit] Genesis 13:7

And there was a strife between the herdmen of Abram's cattle and the herdmen of Lot's cattle: and the Canaanite and the Perizzite dwelled then in the land.

[edit] Genesis 13:7 Notes

[edit] Genesis 13:8

And Abram said unto Lot, Let there be no strife, I pray thee, between me and thee, and between my herdmen and thy herdmen; for we be brethren.

[edit] Genesis 13:8 Notes

[edit] Genesis 13:9

Is not the whole land before thee? separate thyself, I pray thee, from me: if thou wilt take the left hand, then I will go to the right; or if thou depart to the right hand, then I will go to the left.

[edit] Genesis 13:9 Notes

[edit] Genesis 13:10

And Lot lifted up his eyes, and beheld all the plain of Jordan, that it was well watered every where, before the LORD destroyed Sodom and Gomorrah, even as the garden of the LORD, like the land of Egypt, as thou comest unto Zoar.

[edit] Genesis 13:10 Notes

[edit] Genesis 13:11

Then Lot chose him all the plain of Jordan; and Lot journeyed east: and they separated themselves the one from the other.

[edit] Genesis 13:11 Notes

[edit] Genesis 13:12

Abram dwelled in the land of Canaan, and Lot dwelled in the cities of the plain, and pitched his tent toward Sodom.

[edit] Genesis 13:12 Notes

[edit] Genesis 13:13

But the men of Sodom were wicked and sinners before the LORD exceedingly.

[edit] Genesis 13:13 Notes

We'll hear a lot more about Sodom later, including this "wicked and sinners" thing, but except for one incident it's not really explained. Don't hold your breath.

[edit] Genesis 13:14

And the LORD said unto Abram, after that Lot was separated from him, Lift up now thine eyes, and look from the place where thou art northward, and southward, and eastward, and westward:

[edit] Genesis 13:14 Notes

[edit] Genesis 13:15

For all the land which thou seest, to thee will I give it, and to thy seed for ever.

[edit] Genesis 13:15 Notes

[edit] Genesis 13:16

And I will make thy seed as the dust of the earth: so that if a man can number the dust of the earth, then shall thy seed also be numbered.

[edit] Genesis 13:16 Notes

[edit] Genesis 13:17

Arise, walk through the land in the length of it and in the breadth of it; for I will give it unto thee.

[edit] Genesis 13:17 Notes

[edit] Genesis 13:18

Then Abram removed his tent, and came and dwelt in the plain of Mamre, which is in Hebron, and built there an altar unto the LORD.

[edit] Genesis 13:18 Notes

[edit] Genesis Chapter 14

Notice that Abram is suddenly a warrior badass instead of a wimp who pretends his wife is single so that he won't get killed.

[edit] Genesis 14:1

And it came to pass in the days of Amraphel king of Shinar, Arioch king of Ellasar, Chedorlaomer king of Elam, and Tidal king of nations;

[edit] Genesis 14:1 Notes

Most believing Bible scholars consider Amraphel to be a corruption of "Hammurabi," and most young-Earth chronologies rest on this assumption. Secular linguists, archaeologists, and Assyriologists universally give this one a resounding "NO."

[edit] Genesis 14:2

That these made war with Bera king of Sodom, and with Birsha king of Gomorrah, Shinab king of Admah, and Shemeber king of Zeboiim, and the king of Bela, which is Zoar.

[edit] Genesis 14:2 Notes

[edit] Genesis 14:3

All these were joined together in the vale of Siddim, which is the salt sea.

[edit] Genesis 14:3 Notes

[edit] Genesis 14:4

Twelve years they served Chedorlaomer, and in the thirteenth year they rebelled.

[edit] Genesis 14:4 Notes

[edit] Genesis 14:5

And in the fourteenth year came Chedorlaomer, and the kings that were with him, and smote the Rephaims in Ashteroth Karnaim, and the Zuzims in Ham, and the Emins in Shaveh Kiriathaim,

[edit] Genesis 14:5 Notes

[edit] Genesis 14:6

And the Horites in their mount Seir, unto Elparan, which is by the wilderness.

[edit] Genesis 14:6 Notes

[edit] Genesis 14:7

And they returned, and came to Enmishpat, which is Kadesh, and smote all the country of the Amalekites, and also the Amorites, that dwelt in Hazezontamar.

[edit] Genesis 14:7 Notes

[edit] Genesis 14:8

And there went out the king of Sodom, and the king of Gomorrah, and the king of Admah, and the king of Zeboiim, and the king of Bela (the same is Zoar;) and they joined battle with them in the vale of Siddim;

[edit] Genesis 14:8 Notes

[edit] Genesis 14:9

With Chedorlaomer the king of Elam, and with Tidal king of nations, and Amraphel king of Shinar, and Arioch king of Ellasar; four kings with five.

[edit] Genesis 14:9 Notes

[edit] Genesis 14:10

And the vale of Siddim was full of slimepits; and the kings of Sodom and Gomorrah fled, and fell there; and they that remained fled to the mountain.

[edit] Genesis 14:10 Notes

[edit] Genesis 14:11

And they took all the goods of Sodom and Gomorrah, and all their victuals, and went their way.

[edit] Genesis 14:11 Notes

[edit] Genesis 14:12

And they took Lot, Abram's brother's son, who dwelt in Sodom, and his goods, and departed.

[edit] Genesis 14:12 Notes

[edit] Genesis 14:13

And there came one that had escaped, and told Abram the Hebrew; for he dwelt in the plain of Mamre the Amorite, brother of Eshcol, and brother of Aner: and these were confederate with Abram.

[edit] Genesis 14:13 Notes

[edit] Genesis 14:14

And when Abram heard that his brother was taken captive, he armed his trained servants, born in his own house, three hundred and eighteen, and pursued them unto Dan.

[edit] Genesis 14:14 Notes

[edit] Genesis 14:15

And he divided himself against them, he and his servants, by night, and smote them, and pursued them unto Hobah, which is on the left hand of Damascus.

[edit] Genesis 14:15 Notes

[edit] Genesis 14:16

And he brought back all the goods, and also brought again his brother Lot, and his goods, and the women also, and the people.

[edit] Genesis 14:16 Notes

[edit] Genesis 14:17

And the king of Sodom went out to meet him after his return from the slaughter of Chedorlaomer, and of the kings that were with him, at the valley of Shaveh, which is the king's dale.

[edit] Genesis 14:17 Notes

[edit] Genesis 14:18

And Melchizedek king of Salem brought forth bread and wine: and he was the priest of the most high God.

[edit] Genesis 14:18 Notes

[edit] Genesis 14:19

And he blessed him, and said, Blessed be Abram of the most high God, possessor of heaven and earth:

[edit] Genesis 14:19 Notes

[edit] Genesis 14:20

And blessed be the most high God, which hath delivered thine enemies into thy hand. And he gave him tithes of all.

[edit] Genesis 14:20 Notes

[edit] Genesis 14:21

And the king of Sodom said unto Abram, Give me the persons, and take the goods to thyself.

[edit] Genesis 14:21 Notes

[edit] Genesis 14:22

And Abram said to the king of Sodom, I have lift up mine hand unto the LORD, the most high God, the possessor of heaven and earth,

[edit] Genesis 14:22 Notes

[edit] Genesis 14:23

That I will not take from a thread even to a shoelatchet, and that I will not take any thing that is thine, lest thou shouldest say, I have made Abram rich:

[edit] Genesis 14:23 Notes

[edit] Genesis 14:24

Save only that which the young men have eaten, and the portion of the men which went with me, Aner, Eshcol, and Mamre; let them take their portion.

[edit] Genesis 14:24 Notes

[edit] Genesis Chapter 15

[edit] Genesis 15:1

After these things the word of the LORD came unto Abram in a vision, saying, Fear not, Abram: I am thy shield, and thy exceeding great reward.

[edit] Genesis 15:1 Notes

[edit] Genesis 15:2

And Abram said, LORD God, what wilt thou give me, seeing I go childless, and the steward of my house is this Eliezer of Damascus?

[edit] Genesis 15:2 Notes

[edit] Genesis 15:3

And Abram said, Behold, to me thou hast given no seed: and, lo, one born in my house is mine heir.

[edit] Genesis 15:3 Notes

[edit] Genesis 15:4

And, behold, the word of the LORD came unto him, saying, This shall not be thine heir; but he that shall come forth out of thine own bowels shall be thine heir.

[edit] Genesis 15:4 Notes

If interpreted literally, this indisputably qualifies as a scientific error. An heir coming forth from a man's bowels is quite unknown to medical science.

[edit] Genesis 15:5

And he brought him forth abroad, and said, Look now toward heaven, and tell the stars, if thou be able to number them: and he said unto him, So shall thy seed be.

[edit] Genesis 15:5 Notes

[edit] Genesis 15:6

And he believed in the LORD; and he counted it to him for righteousness.

[edit] Genesis 15:6 Notes

[edit] Genesis 15:7

And he said unto him, I am the LORD that brought thee out of Ur of the Chaldees, to give thee this land to inherit it.

[edit] Genesis 15:7 Notes

[edit] Genesis 15:8

And he said, LORD God, whereby shall I know that I shall inherit it?

[edit] Genesis 15:8 Notes

[edit] Genesis 15:9

And he said unto him, Take me an heifer of three years old, and a she goat of three years old, and a ram of three years old, and a turtledove, and a young pigeon.

[edit] Genesis 15:9 Notes

[edit] Genesis 15:10

And he took unto him all these, and divided them in the midst, and laid each piece one against another: but the birds divided he not.

[edit] Genesis 15:10 Notes

[edit] Genesis 15:11

And when the fowls came down upon the carcases, Abram drove them away.

[edit] Genesis 15:11 Notes

[edit] Genesis 15:12

And when the sun was going down, a deep sleep fell upon Abram; and, lo, an horror of great darkness fell upon him.

[edit] Genesis 15:12 Notes

[edit] Genesis 15:13

And he said unto Abram, Know of a surety that thy seed shall be a stranger in a land that is not their's, and shall serve them; and they shall afflict them four hundred years;

[edit] Genesis 15:13 Notes

[edit] Genesis 15:14

And also that nation, whom they shall serve, will I judge: and afterward shall they come out with great substance.

[edit] Genesis 15:14 Notes

[edit] Genesis 15:15

And thou shalt go to thy fathers in peace; thou shalt be buried in a good old age.

[edit] Genesis 15:15 Notes

[edit] Genesis 15:16

But in the fourth generation they shall come hither again: for the iniquity of the Amorites is not yet full.

[edit] Genesis 15:16 Notes

[edit] Genesis 15:17

And it came to pass, that, when the sun went down, and it was dark, behold a smoking furnace, and a burning lamp that passed between those pieces.

[edit] Genesis 15:17 Notes

[edit] Genesis 15:18

In the same day the LORD made a covenant with Abram, saying, Unto thy seed have I given this land, from the river of Egypt unto the great river, the river Euphrates:

[edit] Genesis 15:18 Notes

[edit] Genesis 15:19

The Kenites, and the Kenizzites, and the Kadmonites,

[edit] Genesis 15:19 Notes

[edit] Genesis 15:20

And the Hittites, and the Perizzites, and the Rephaims,

[edit] Genesis 15:20 Notes

[edit] Genesis 15:21

And the Amorites, and the Canaanites, and the Girgashites, and the Jebusites.

[edit] Genesis 15:21 Notes

[edit] Genesis Chapter 16

[edit] Genesis 16:1

Now Sarai Abram's wife bare him no children: and she had an handmaid, an Egyptian, whose name was Hagar.

[edit] Genesis 16:1 Notes

[edit] Genesis 16:2

And Sarai said unto Abram, Behold now, the LORD hath restrained me from bearing: I pray thee, go in unto my maid; it may be that I may obtain children by her. And Abram hearkened to the voice of Sarai.

[edit] Genesis 16:2 Notes

"Well, if you insist, my dear wife Sarai, I'll bang your exotic handmaid," said Abram.

[edit] Genesis 16:3

And Sarai Abram's wife took Hagar her maid the Egyptian, after Abram had dwelt ten years in the land of Canaan, and gave her to her husband Abram to be his wife.

[edit] Genesis 16:3 Notes

[edit] Genesis 16:4

And he went in unto Hagar, and she conceived: and when she saw that she had conceived, her mistress was despised in her eyes.

[edit] Genesis 16:4 Notes

Religious sanctity of marriage = man + his wife, and it's already shirked by a mistress.

[edit] Genesis 16:5

And Sarai said unto Abram, My wrong be upon thee: I have given my maid into thy bosom; and when she saw that she had conceived, I was despised in her eyes: the LORD judge between me and thee.

[edit] Genesis 16:5 Notes

The mistress gloats that she got knocked up after a one-night stand and the wife never got pregnant.

[edit] Genesis 16:6

But Abram said unto Sarai, Behold, thy maid is in thine hand; do to her as it pleaseth thee. And when Sarai dealt hardly with her, she fled from her face.

[edit] Genesis 16:6 Notes

Sarai righteously beats up a pregnant woman for getting sweaty with Abram as she told them both to do.

[edit] Genesis 16:7

And the angel of the LORD found her by a fountain of water in the wilderness, by the fountain in the way to Shur.

[edit] Genesis 16:7 Notes

[edit] Genesis 16:8

And he said, Hagar, Sarai's maid, whence camest thou? and whither wilt thou go? And she said, I flee from the face of my mistress Sarai.

[edit] Genesis 16:8 Notes

[edit] Genesis 16:9

And the angel of the LORD said unto her, Return to thy mistress, and submit thyself under her hands.

[edit] Genesis 16:9 Notes

This is an instruction to return to the master that recently beat her. Although Hagar could be unprepared, having no supplies for the escape, thus requiring her to turn back.

[edit] Genesis 16:10

And the angel of the LORD said unto her, I will multiply thy seed exceedingly, that it shall not be numbered for multitude.

[edit] Genesis 16:10 Notes

[edit] Genesis 16:11

And the angel of the LORD said unto her, Behold, thou art with child and shalt bear a son, and shalt call his name Ishmael; because the LORD hath heard thy affliction.

[edit] Genesis 16:11 Notes

See also Ishmael.

[edit] Genesis 16:12

And he will be a wild man; his hand will be against every man, and every man's hand against him; and he shall dwell in the presence of all his brethren.

[edit] Genesis 16:12 Notes

[edit] Genesis 16:13

And she called the name of the LORD that spake unto her, Thou God seest me: for she said, Have I also here looked after him that seeth me?

[edit] Genesis 16:13 Notes

[edit] Genesis 16:14

Wherefore the well was called Beerlahairoi; behold, it is between Kadesh and Bered.

[edit] Genesis 16:14 Notes

[edit] Genesis 16:15

And Hagar bare Abram a son: and Abram called his son's name, which Hagar bare, Ishmael.

[edit] Genesis 16:15 Notes

[edit] Genesis 16:16

And Abram was fourscore and six years old, when Hagar bare Ishmael to Abram.

[edit] Genesis 16:16 Notes

[edit] Genesis Chapter 17

[edit] Genesis 17:1

And when Abram was ninety years old and nine, the LORD appeared to Abram, and said unto him, I am the Almighty God; walk before me, and be thou perfect.

[edit] Genesis 17:1 Notes

[edit] Genesis 17:2

And I will make my covenant between me and thee, and will multiply thee exceedingly.

[edit] Genesis 17:2 Notes

[edit] Genesis 17:3

And Abram fell on his face: and God talked with him, saying,

[edit] Genesis 17:3 Notes

It's not terribly surprising that the ninety-nine year old patriarch fell on his face. What's surprising is that he didn't break a hip in the process.

[edit] Genesis 17:4

As for me, behold, my covenant is with thee, and thou shalt be a father of many nations.

[edit] Genesis 17:4 Notes

[edit] Genesis 17:5

Neither shall thy name any more be called Abram, but thy name shall be Abraham; for a father of many nations have I made thee.

[edit] Genesis 17:5 Notes

[edit] Genesis 17:6

And I will make thee exceeding fruitful, and I will make nations of thee, and kings shall come out of thee.

[edit] Genesis 17:6 Notes

[edit] Genesis 17:7

And I will establish my covenant between me and thee and thy seed after thee in their generations for an everlasting covenant, to be a God unto thee, and to thy seed after thee.

[edit] Genesis 17:7 Notes

[edit] Genesis 17:8

And I will give unto thee, and to thy seed after thee, the land wherein thou art a stranger, all the land of Canaan, for an everlasting possession; and I will be their God.

[edit] Genesis 17:8 Notes

[edit] Genesis 17:9

And God said unto Abraham, Thou shalt keep my covenant therefore, thou, and thy seed after thee in their generations.

[edit] Genesis 17:9 Notes

[edit] Genesis 17:10

This is my covenant, which ye shall keep, between me and you and thy seed after thee; Every man child among you shall be circumcised.

[edit] Genesis 17:10 Notes

God orders circumcision. In Galatians 5:6 God changed his mind, which is why Christians don't practice circumcision.

[edit] Genesis 17:11

And ye shall circumcise the flesh of your foreskin; and it shall be a token of the covenant betwixt me and you.

[edit] Genesis 17:11 Notes

[edit] Genesis 17:12

And he that is eight days old shall be circumcised among you, every man child in your generations, he that is born in the house, or bought with money of any stranger, which is not of thy seed.

[edit] Genesis 17:12 Notes

[edit] Genesis 17:13

He that is born in thy house, and he that is bought with thy money, must needs be circumcised: and my covenant shall be in your flesh for an everlasting covenant.

[edit] Genesis 17:13 Notes

[edit] Genesis 17:14

And the uncircumcised man child whose flesh of his foreskin is not circumcised, that soul shall be cut off from his people; he hath broken my covenant.

[edit] Genesis 17:14 Notes

[edit] Genesis 17:15

And God said unto Abraham, As for Sarai thy wife, thou shalt not call her name Sarai, but Sarah shall her name be.

[edit] Genesis 17:15 Notes

[edit] Genesis 17:16

And I will bless her, and give thee a son also of her: yea, I will bless her, and she shall be a mother of nations; kings of people shall be of her.

[edit] Genesis 17:16 Notes

[edit] Genesis 17:17

Then Abraham fell upon his face, and laughed, and said in his heart, Shall a child be born unto him that is an hundred years old? and shall Sarah, that is ninety years old, bear?

[edit] Genesis 17:17 Notes

[edit] Genesis 17:18

And Abraham said unto God, O that Ishmael might live before thee!

[edit] Genesis 17:18 Notes

[edit] Genesis 17:19

And God said, Sarah thy wife shall bear thee a son indeed; and thou shalt call his name Isaac: and I will establish my covenant with him for an everlasting covenant, and with his seed after him.

[edit] Genesis 17:19 Notes

[edit] Genesis 17:20

And as for Ishmael, I have heard thee: Behold, I have blessed him, and will make him fruitful, and will multiply him exceedingly; twelve princes shall he beget, and I will make him a great nation.

[edit] Genesis 17:20 Notes

[edit] Genesis 17:21

But my covenant will I establish with Isaac, which Sarah shall bear unto thee at this set time in the next year.

[edit] Genesis 17:21 Notes

[edit] Genesis 17:22

And he left off talking with him, and God went up from Abraham.

[edit] Genesis 17:22 Notes

[edit] Genesis 17:23

And Abraham took Ishmael his son, and all that were born in his house, and all that were bought with his money, every male among the men of Abraham's house; and circumcised the flesh of their foreskin in the selfsame day, as God had said unto him.

[edit] Genesis 17:23 Notes

[edit] Genesis 17:24

And Abraham was ninety years old and nine, when he was circumcised in the flesh of his foreskin.

[edit] Genesis 17:24 Notes

[edit] Genesis 17:25

And Ishmael his son was thirteen years old, when he was circumcised in the flesh of his foreskin.

[edit] Genesis 17:25 Notes

[edit] Genesis 17:26

In the selfsame day was Abraham circumcised, and Ishmael his son.

[edit] Genesis 17:26 Notes

[edit] Genesis 17:27

And all the men of his house, born in the house, and bought with money of the stranger, were circumcised with him.

[edit] Genesis 17:27 Notes

[edit] Genesis Chapter 18

[edit] Genesis 18:1

And the LORD appeared unto him in the plains of Mamre: and he sat in the tent door in the heat of the day;

[edit] Genesis 18:1 Notes

[edit] Genesis 18:2

And he lift up his eyes and looked, and, lo, three men stood by him: and when he saw them, he ran to meet them from the tent door, and bowed himself toward the ground,

[edit] Genesis 18:2 Notes

[edit] Genesis 18:3

And said, My LORD, if now I have found favour in thy sight, pass not away, I pray thee, from thy servant:

[edit] Genesis 18:3 Notes

[edit] Genesis 18:4

Let a little water, I pray you, be fetched, and wash your feet, and rest yourselves under the tree:

[edit] Genesis 18:4 Notes

[edit] Genesis 18:5

And I will fetch a morsel of bread, and comfort ye your hearts; after that ye shall pass on: for therefore are ye come to your servant. And they said, So do, as thou hast said.

[edit] Genesis 18:5 Notes

[edit] Genesis 18:6

And Abraham hastened into the tent unto Sarah, and said, Make ready quickly three measures of fine meal, knead it, and make cakes upon the hearth.

[edit] Genesis 18:6 Notes

[edit] Genesis 18:7

And Abraham ran unto the herd, and fetcht a calf tender and good, and gave it unto a young man; and he hasted to dress it.

[edit] Genesis 18:7 Notes

[edit] Genesis 18:8

And he took butter, and milk, and the calf which he had dressed, and set it before them; and he stood by them under the tree, and they did eat.

[edit] Genesis 18:8 Notes

[edit] Genesis 18:9

And they said unto him, Where is Sarah thy wife? And he said, Behold, in the tent.

[edit] Genesis 18:9 Notes

[edit] Genesis 18:10

And he said, I will certainly return unto thee according to the time of life; and, lo, Sarah thy wife shall have a son. And Sarah heard it in the tent door, which was behind him.

[edit] Genesis 18:10 Notes

[edit] Genesis 18:11

Now Abraham and Sarah were old and well stricken in age; and it ceased to be with Sarah after the manner of women.

[edit] Genesis 18:11 Notes

[edit] Genesis 18:12

Therefore Sarah laughed within herself, saying, After I am waxed old shall I have pleasure, my lord being old also?

[edit] Genesis 18:12 Notes

[edit] Genesis 18:13

And the LORD said unto Abraham, Wherefore did Sarah laugh, saying, Shall I of a surety bear a child, which am old?

[edit] Genesis 18:13 Notes

God lies!

[edit] Genesis 18:14

Is any thing too hard for the LORD? At the time appointed I will return unto thee, according to the time of life, and Sarah shall have a son.

[edit] Genesis 18:14 Notes

[edit] Genesis 18:15

Then Sarah denied, saying, I laughed not; for she was afraid. And he said, Nay; but thou didst laugh.

[edit] Genesis 18:15 Notes

Sarah was laughing on the inside. This counts as laughing.

[edit] Genesis 18:16

And the men rose up from thence, and looked toward Sodom: and Abraham went with them to bring them on the way.

[edit] Genesis 18:16 Notes

[edit] Genesis 18:17

And the LORD said, Shall I hide from Abraham that thing which I do;

[edit] Genesis 18:17 Notes

[edit] Genesis 18:18

Seeing that Abraham shall surely become a great and mighty nation, and all the nations of the earth shall be blessed in him?

[edit] Genesis 18:18 Notes

[edit] Genesis 18:19

For I know him, that he will command his children and his household after him, and they shall keep the way of the LORD, to do justice and judgment; that the LORD may bring upon Abraham that which he hath spoken of him.

[edit] Genesis 18:19 Notes

[edit] Genesis 18:20

And the LORD said, Because the cry of Sodom and Gomorrah is great, and because their sin is very grievous;

[edit] Genesis 18:20 Notes

[edit] Genesis 18:21

I will go down now, and see whether they have done altogether according to the cry of it, which is come unto me; and if not, I will know.

[edit] Genesis 18:21 Notes

[edit] Genesis 18:22

And the men turned their faces from thence, and went toward Sodom: but Abraham stood yet before the LORD.

[edit] Genesis 18:22 Notes

[edit] Genesis 18:23

And Abraham drew near, and said, Wilt thou also destroy the righteous with the wicked?

[edit] Genesis 18:23 Notes

[edit] Genesis 18:24

Peradventure there be fifty righteous within the city: wilt thou also destroy and not spare the place for the fifty righteous that are therein?

[edit] Genesis 18:24 Notes

[edit] Genesis 18:25

That be far from thee to do after this manner, to slay the righteous with the wicked: and that the righteous should be as the wicked, that be far from thee: Shall not the Judge of all the earth do right?

[edit] Genesis 18:25 Notes

[edit] Genesis 18:26

And the LORD said, If I find in Sodom fifty righteous within the city, then I will spare all the place for their sakes.

[edit] Genesis 18:26 Notes

[edit] Genesis 18:27

And Abraham answered and said, Behold now, I have taken upon me to speak unto the LORD, which am but dust and ashes:

[edit] Genesis 18:27 Notes

[edit] Genesis 18:28

Peradventure there shall lack five of the fifty righteous: wilt thou destroy all the city for lack of five? And he said, If I find there forty and five, I will not destroy it.

[edit] Genesis 18:28 Notes

Thus starts the haggling process to see if the city gets saved based on a number of righteous people. It will eventually get down to 10 through straight begging.

[edit] Genesis 18:29

And he spake unto him yet again, and said, Peradventure there shall be forty found there. And he said, I will not do it for forty's sake.

[edit] Genesis 18:29 Notes

[edit] Genesis 18:30

And he said unto him, Oh let not the LORD be angry, and I will speak: Peradventure there shall thirty be found there. And he said, I will not do it, if I find thirty there.

[edit] Genesis 18:30 Notes

[edit] Genesis 18:31

And he said, Behold now, I have taken upon me to speak unto the LORD: Peradventure there shall be twenty found there. And he said, I will not destroy it for twenty's sake.

[edit] Genesis 18:31 Notes

[edit] Genesis 18:32

And he said, Oh let not the LORD be angry, and I will speak yet but this once: Peradventure ten shall be found there. And he said, I will not destroy it for ten's sake.

[edit] Genesis 18:32 Notes

[edit] Genesis 18:33

And the LORD went his way, as soon as he had left communing with Abraham: and Abraham returned unto his place.

[edit] Genesis 18:33 Notes

[edit] Genesis Chapter 19

[edit] Genesis 19:1

And there came two angels to Sodom at even; and Lot sat in the gate of Sodom: and Lot seeing them rose up to meet them; and he bowed himself with his face toward the ground;

[edit] Genesis 19:1 Notes

[edit] Genesis 19:2

And he said, Behold now, my lords, turn in, I pray you, into your servant's house, and tarry all night, and wash your feet, and ye shall rise up early, and go on your ways. And they said, Nay; but we will abide in the street all night.

[edit] Genesis 19:2 Notes

[edit] Genesis 19:3

And he pressed upon them greatly; and they turned in unto him, and entered into his house; and he made them a feast, and did bake unleavened bread, and they did eat.

[edit] Genesis 19:3 Notes

[edit] Genesis 19:4

But before they lay down, the men of the city, even the men of Sodom, compassed the house round, both old and young, all the people from every quarter:

[edit] Genesis 19:4 Notes

[edit] Genesis 19:5

And they called unto Lot, and said unto him, Where are the men which came in to thee this night? bring them out unto us, that we may know them.

[edit] Genesis 19:5 Notes

Yes, this is "know" very much in the Biblical sense. As it were.

[edit] Genesis 19:6

And Lot went out at the door unto them, and shut the door after him,

[edit] Genesis 19:6 Notes

[edit] Genesis 19:7

And said, I pray you, brethren, do not so wickedly.

[edit] Genesis 19:7 Notes

[edit] Genesis 19:8

Behold now, I have two daughters which have not known man; let me, I pray you, bring them out unto you, and do ye to them as is good in your eyes: only unto these men do nothing; for therefore came they under the shadow of my roof.

[edit] Genesis 19:8 Notes

That's right, Lot offers an angry mob his daughters' virginity. And yet, strangely enough, God considers him to be worth saving. Neither his daughters or Lot's guest seem to be in the slightest bit bothered by this.

[edit] Genesis 19:9

And they said, Stand back. And they said again, This one fellow came in to sojourn, and he will needs be a judge: now will we deal worse with thee, than with them. And they pressed sore upon the man, even Lot, and came near to break the door.

[edit] Genesis 19:9 Notes

On the other hand, the residents were still bent on breaking the sanctuary offered to the two guests.

[edit] Genesis 19:10

But the men put forth their hand, and pulled Lot into the house to them, and shut to the door.

[edit] Genesis 19:10 Notes

[edit] Genesis 19:11

And they smote the men that were at the door of the house with blindness, both small and great: so that they wearied themselves to find the door.

[edit] Genesis 19:11 Notes

[edit] Genesis 19:12

And the men said unto Lot, Hast thou here any besides? son in law, and thy sons, and thy daughters, and whatsoever thou hast in the city, bring them out of this place:

[edit] Genesis 19:12 Notes

[edit] Genesis 19:13

For we will destroy this place, because the cry of them is waxen great before the face of the LORD; and the LORD hath sent us to destroy it.

[edit] Genesis 19:13 Notes

[edit] Genesis 19:14

And Lot went out, and spake unto his sons in law, which married his daughters, and said, Up, get you out of this place; for the LORD will destroy this city. But he seemed as one that mocked unto his sons in law.

[edit] Genesis 19:14 Notes

[edit] Genesis 19:15

And when the morning arose, then the angels hastened Lot, saying, Arise, take thy wife, and thy two daughters, which are here; lest thou be consumed in the iniquity of the city.

[edit] Genesis 19:15 Notes

[edit] Genesis 19:16

And while he lingered, the men laid hold upon his hand, and upon the hand of his wife, and upon the hand of his two daughters; the LORD being merciful unto him: and they brought him forth, and set him without the city.

[edit] Genesis 19:16 Notes

[edit] Genesis 19:17

And it came to pass, when they had brought them forth abroad, that he said, Escape for thy life; look not behind thee, neither stay thou in all the plain; escape to the mountain, lest thou be consumed.

[edit] Genesis 19:17 Notes

[edit] Genesis 19:18

And Lot said unto them, Oh, not so, my LORD:

[edit] Genesis 19:18 Notes

[edit] Genesis 19:19

Behold now, thy servant hath found grace in thy sight, and thou hast magnified thy mercy, which thou hast shewed unto me in saving my life; and I cannot escape to the mountain, lest some evil take me, and I die:

[edit] Genesis 19:19 Notes

[edit] Genesis 19:20

Behold now, this city is near to flee unto, and it is a little one: Oh, let me escape thither, (is it not a little one?) and my soul shall live.

[edit] Genesis 19:20 Notes

[edit] Genesis 19:21

And he said unto him, See, I have accepted thee concerning this thing also, that I will not overthrow this city, for the which thou hast spoken.

[edit] Genesis 19:21 Notes

[edit] Genesis 19:22

Haste thee, escape thither; for I cannot do anything till thou be come thither. Therefore the name of the city was called Zoar.

[edit] Genesis 19:22 Notes

[edit] Genesis 19:23

The sun was risen upon the earth when Lot entered into Zoar.

[edit] Genesis 19:23 Notes

[edit] Genesis 19:24

Then the LORD rained upon Sodom and upon Gomorrah brimstone and fire from the LORD out of heaven;

[edit] Genesis 19:24 Notes

See Examples of God personally killing people

See, it's not okay to be gay.

[edit] Genesis 19:25

And he overthrew those cities, and all the plain, and all the inhabitants of the cities, and that which grew upon the ground.

[edit] Genesis 19:25 Notes

[edit] Genesis 19:26

But his wife looked back from behind him, and she became a pillar of salt.

[edit] Genesis 19:26 Notes

See Examples of God personally killing people

The "pillar of salt" and other descriptions of the destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah are often said to make the account resemble a nuclear weapon. Leading some to think that this is a reference to part of an ancient nuclear war. This of course is as stupid as turning a person into a pillar of salt. The bible was written around 2 thousand years before the nuclear bomb or if you prefer these events happened thousands of years before the nuclear bomb. Still its curious that Lot's wife would turn to salt which was a precious substance in the ancient world. Salt can be used to help preserve food, something which was a lot harder before refrigeration.

[edit] Genesis 19:27

And Abraham gat up early in the morning to the place where he stood before the LORD:

[edit] Genesis 19:27 Notes

[edit] Genesis 19:28

And he looked toward Sodom and Gomorrah, and toward all the land of the plain, and beheld, and, lo, the smoke of the country went up as the smoke of a furnace.

[edit] Genesis 19:28 Notes

[edit] Genesis 19:29

And it came to pass, when God destroyed the cities of the plain, that God remembered Abraham, and sent Lot out of the midst of the overthrow, when he overthrew the cities in the which Lot dwelt.

[edit] Genesis 19:29 Notes

[edit] Genesis 19:30

And Lot went up out of Zoar, and dwelt in the mountain, and his two daughters with him; for he feared to dwell in Zoar: and he dwelt in a cave, he and his two daughters.

[edit] Genesis 19:30 Notes

[edit] Genesis 19:31

And the firstborn said unto the younger, Our father is old, and there is not a man in the earth to come in unto us after the manner of all the earth:

[edit] Genesis 19:31 Notes

[edit] Genesis 19:32

Come, let us make our father drink wine, and we will lie with him, that we may preserve seed of our father.

[edit] Genesis 19:32 Notes

This is commonly taken as being about incest. Considering the KJV's use of sexual euphemisms, it's hard to argue against this one.

[edit] Genesis 19:33

And they made their father drink wine that night: and the firstborn went in, and lay with her father; and he perceived not when she lay down, nor when she arose.

[edit] Genesis 19:33 Notes

[edit] Genesis 19:34

And it came to pass on the morrow, that the firstborn said unto the younger, Behold, I lay yesternight with my father: let us make him drink wine this night also; and go thou in, and lie with him, that we may preserve seed of our father.

[edit] Genesis 19:34 Notes

[edit] Genesis 19:35

And they made their father drink wine that night also: and the younger arose, and lay with him; and he perceived not when she lay down, nor when she arose.

[edit] Genesis 19:35 Notes

Apparently Lot was pretty drunk on wine; drunk enough that he passed out and didn't notice his daughter getting to "know" him better.

[edit] Genesis 19:36

Thus were both the daughters of Lot with child by their father.

[edit] Genesis 19:36 Notes

It probably doesn't need annotating, but this is quite clear. Good clean Biblical morality for you.

At least, until you notice the names of their sons--the namesakes of two perennial enemy tribes of the Hebrews. Lot's daughters were being marked as fools, and the Moabites and Ammonites smeared as originated by icky icky incest and rape (with the father--in more than one sense of the word--the one being raped!).

[edit] Genesis 19:37

And the first born bare a son, and called his name Moab: the same is the father of the Moabites unto this day.

[edit] Genesis 19:37 Notes

On the other hand, one later author marked one of the ancestors of David and Solomon as being a Moabite woman, so this part of the smear didn't have the desired effect uniformly. See the Book of Template:Ruth for further details.

[edit] Genesis 19:38

And the younger, she also bare a son, and called his name Benammi: the same is the father of the children of Ammon unto this day.

[edit] Genesis 19:38 Notes

[edit] Genesis Chapter 20

[edit] Genesis 20:1

And Abraham journeyed from thence toward the south country, and dwelled between Kadesh and Shur, and sojourned in Gerar.

[edit] Genesis 20:1 Notes

[edit] Genesis 20:2

And Abraham said of Sarah his wife, She is my sister: and Abimelech king of Gerar sent, and took Sarah.

[edit] Genesis 20:2 Notes

Abraham repeats the sister ruse, previously done in Genesis 12.

[edit] Genesis 20:3

But God came to Abimelech in a dream by night, and said to him, Behold, thou art but a dead man, for the woman which thou hast taken; for she is a man's wife.

[edit] Genesis 20:3 Notes

[edit] Genesis 20:4

But Abimelech had not come near her: and he said, LORD, wilt thou slay also a righteous nation?

[edit] Genesis 20:4 Notes

[edit] Genesis 20:5

Said he not unto me, She is my sister? and she, even she herself said, He is my brother: in the integrity of my heart and innocency of my hands have I done this.

[edit] Genesis 20:5 Notes

[edit] Genesis 20:6

And God said unto him in a dream, Yea, I know that thou didst this in the integrity of thy heart; for I also withheld thee from sinning against me: therefore suffered I thee not to touch her.

[edit] Genesis 20:6 Notes

[edit] Genesis 20:7

Now therefore restore the man his wife; for he is a prophet, and he shall pray for thee, and thou shalt live: and if thou restore her not, know thou that thou shalt surely die, thou, and all that are thine.

[edit] Genesis 20:7 Notes

[edit] Genesis 20:8

Therefore Abimelech rose early in the morning, and called all his servants, and told all these things in their ears: and the men were sore afraid.

[edit] Genesis 20:8 Notes

[edit] Genesis 20:9

Then Abimelech called Abraham, and said unto him, What hast thou done unto us? and what have I offended thee, that thou hast brought on me and on my kingdom a great sin? thou hast done deeds unto me that ought not to be done.

[edit] Genesis 20:9 Notes

[edit] Genesis 20:10

And Abimelech said unto Abraham, What sawest thou, that thou hast done this thing?

[edit] Genesis 20:10 Notes

[edit] Genesis 20:11

And Abraham said, Because I thought, Surely the fear of God is not in this place; and they will slay me for my wife's sake.

[edit] Genesis 20:11 Notes

[edit] Genesis 20:12

And yet indeed she is my sister; she is the daughter of my father, but not the daughter of my mother; and she became my wife.

[edit] Genesis 20:12 Notes

This reveals an example of incest within the Bible, although Sarah is technically a half-sister instead of a full sister.

[edit] Genesis 20:13

And it came to pass, when God caused me to wander from my father's house, that I said unto her, This is thy kindness which thou shalt shew unto me; at every place whither we shall come, say of me, He is my brother.

[edit] Genesis 20:13 Notes

[edit] Genesis 20:14

And Abimelech took sheep, and oxen, and menservants, and womenservants, and gave them unto Abraham, and restored him Sarah his wife.

[edit] Genesis 20:14 Notes

[edit] Genesis 20:15

And Abimelech said, Behold, my land is before thee: dwell where it pleaseth thee.

[edit] Genesis 20:15 Notes

[edit] Genesis 20:16

And unto Sarah he said, Behold, I have given thy brother a thousand pieces of silver: behold, he is to thee a covering of the eyes, unto all that are with thee, and with all other: thus she was reproved.

[edit] Genesis 20:16 Notes

[edit] Genesis 20:17

So Abraham prayed unto God: and God healed Abimelech, and his wife, and his maidservants; and they bare children.

[edit] Genesis 20:17 Notes

[edit] Genesis 20:18

For the LORD had fast closed up all the wombs of the house of Abimelech, because of Sarah Abraham's wife.

[edit] Genesis 20:18 Notes

[edit] Genesis Chapter 21

[edit] Genesis 21:1

And the LORD visited Sarah as he had said, and the LORD did unto Sarah as he had spoken.

[edit] Genesis 21:1 Notes

[edit] Genesis 21:2

For Sarah conceived, and bare Abraham a son in his old age, at the set time of which God had spoken to him.

[edit] Genesis 21:2 Notes

With Abraham over 100 and Sarah over 90, this exemplifies the expression bumping uglies.

[edit] Genesis 21:3

And Abraham called the name of his son that was born unto him, whom Sarah bare to him, Isaac.

[edit] Genesis 21:3 Notes

[edit] Genesis 21:4

And Abraham circumcised his son Isaac being eight days old, as God had commanded him.

[edit] Genesis 21:4 Notes

[edit] Genesis 21:5

And Abraham was an hundred years old, when his son Isaac was born unto him.

[edit] Genesis 21:5 Notes

[edit] Genesis 21:6

And Sarah said, God hath made me to laugh, so that all that hear will laugh with me.

[edit] Genesis 21:6 Notes

[edit] Genesis 21:7

And she said, Who would have said unto Abraham, that Sarah should have given children suck? for I have born him a son in his old age.

[edit] Genesis 21:7 Notes

[edit] Genesis 21:8

And the child grew, and was weaned: and Abraham made a great feast the same day that Isaac was weaned.

[edit] Genesis 21:8 Notes

[edit] Genesis 21:9

And Sarah saw the son of Hagar the Egyptian, which she had born unto Abraham, mocking.

[edit] Genesis 21:9 Notes

[edit] Genesis 21:10

Wherefore she said unto Abraham, Cast out this bondwoman and her son: for the son of this bondwoman shall not be heir with my son, even with Isaac.

[edit] Genesis 21:10 Notes

[edit] Genesis 21:11

And the thing was very grievous in Abraham's sight because of his son.

[edit] Genesis 21:11 Notes

[edit] Genesis 21:12

And God said unto Abraham, Let it not be grievous in thy sight because of the lad, and because of thy bondwoman; in all that Sarah hath said unto thee, hearken unto her voice; for in Isaac shall thy seed be called.

[edit] Genesis 21:12 Notes

[edit] Genesis 21:13

And also of the son of the bondwoman will I make a nation, because he is thy seed.

[edit] Genesis 21:13 Notes

[edit] Genesis 21:14

And Abraham rose up early in the morning, and took bread, and a bottle of water, and gave it unto Hagar, putting it on her shoulder, and the child, and sent her away: and she departed, and wandered in the wilderness of Beersheba.

[edit] Genesis 21:14 Notes

Hebrew slaves get a better severance package. But since Hagar and her son are Egyptian, they are only given a small amount of bread and water.

[edit] Genesis 21:15

And the water was spent in the bottle, and she cast the child under one of the shrubs.

[edit] Genesis 21:15 Notes

[edit] Genesis 21:16

And she went, and sat her down over against him a good way off, as it were a bow shot: for she said, Let me not see the death of the child. And she sat over against him, and lift up her voice, and wept.

[edit] Genesis 21:16 Notes

[edit] Genesis 21:17

And God heard the voice of the lad; and the angel of God called to Hagar out of heaven, and said unto her, What aileth thee, Hagar? fear not; for God hath heard the voice of the lad where he is.

[edit] Genesis 21:17 Notes

[edit] Genesis 21:18

Arise, lift up the lad, and hold him in thine hand; for I will make him a great nation.

[edit] Genesis 21:18 Notes

[edit] Genesis 21:19

And God opened her eyes, and she saw a well of water; and she went, and filled the bottle with water, and gave the lad drink.

[edit] Genesis 21:19 Notes

[edit] Genesis 21:20

And God was with the lad; and he grew, and dwelt in the wilderness, and became an archer.

[edit] Genesis 21:20 Notes

[edit] Genesis 21:21

And he dwelt in the wilderness of Paran: and his mother took him a wife out of the land of Egypt.

[edit] Genesis 21:21 Notes

[edit] Genesis 21:22

And it came to pass at that time, that Abimelech and Phichol the chief captain of his host spake unto Abraham, saying, God is with thee in all that thou doest:

[edit] Genesis 21:22 Notes

[edit] Genesis 21:23

Now therefore swear unto me here by God that thou wilt not deal falsely with me, nor with my son, nor with my son's son: but according to the kindness that I have done unto thee, thou shalt do unto me, and to the land wherein thou hast sojourned.

[edit] Genesis 21:23 Notes

[edit] Genesis 21:24

And Abraham said, I will swear.

[edit] Genesis 21:24 Notes

[edit] Genesis 21:25

And Abraham reproved Abimelech because of a well of water, which Abimelech's servants had violently taken away.

[edit] Genesis 21:25 Notes

[edit] Genesis 21:26

And Abimelech said, I wot not who hath done this thing; neither didst thou tell me, neither yet heard I of it, but to day.

[edit] Genesis 21:26 Notes

[edit] Genesis 21:27

And Abraham took sheep and oxen, and gave them unto Abimelech; and both of them made a covenant.

[edit] Genesis 21:27 Notes

[edit] Genesis 21:28

And Abraham set seven ewe lambs of the flock by themselves.

[edit] Genesis 21:28 Notes

[edit] Genesis 21:29

And Abimelech said unto Abraham, What mean these seven ewe lambs which thou hast set by themselves?

[edit] Genesis 21:29 Notes

[edit] Genesis 21:30

And he said, For these seven ewe lambs shalt thou take of my hand, that they may be a witness unto me, that I have digged this well.

[edit] Genesis 21:30 Notes

[edit] Genesis 21:31

Wherefore he called that place Beersheba; because there they sware both of them.

[edit] Genesis 21:31 Notes

[edit] Genesis 21:32

Thus they made a covenant at Beersheba: then Abimelech rose up, and Phichol the chief captain of his host, and they returned into the land of the Philistines.

[edit] Genesis 21:32 Notes

The Philistines technically did not exist in Bronze Age Canaan which is when Abraham and the Patriarchs would have lived. However the biblical authors were almost certainly aware of this fact because in other places like in Amos 9:7 and in Deuteronomy 2:23 they describe the Philistines as being from a place called "Caphtor" which nowadays is usually identified with some place outside of Egypt usually Crete but also Cyprus or Cilicia for a variety of reasons discussed at the end. In any case in Deuteronomy it is asserted that the Caphtorites or Philistines usurped the land around Gaza from another people called the Avvites. Hence according to Rabbinic tradition as recorded in the Talmud the Philistines of Abraham's day are actually Avvites rather than actual Philistines (which proves at least that at least in this case, the biblical were being lazy rather than just plain stupid).

I mentioned above that Caphtor is usually identified with Crete which makes some historical sense to people who know this time period well. Nevertheless Jewish commentators in late antiquity and Medieval times usually identified it with the northeast corner of the Nile delta in the vicinity of the Hellenistic city of Pelusium which is near modern day Damietta. Extra biblical sources tend to support the identification with Crete and several translations of the Bible such as the Septuagint, the Vulgate, and the Targum Onkelos translated Caphtor as Cappadocia a region that we know and that they knew wasn't in Egypt but is in general direction of the other places where Caphtor is alleged to have been like Cilicia. In addition though not always translated this way into English the original text of the Hebrew Bible, the Vulgate, and the Septuagint also refer to Caphtor/Cappadocia as being an island. The identification with Crete has the most support because other biblical passages like Ezekiel 25:16 and Zephaniah 2:5 which tend to identify the Philistines with another people called the Cherethites who are almost always identified as being either Cretans (as the Septuagint does) or Carians. The competing biblical accounts of where exactly the Philistines came from drove biblical scholars crazy for years but now given that we know the Philistines were kicked out of Egypt after they tried to invade and were expelled to the coast in the vicinity of Gaza the two traditions can be reconciled to some extant.

[edit] Genesis 21:33

And Abraham planted a grove in Beersheba, and called there on the name of the LORD, the everlasting God.

[edit] Genesis 21:33 Notes

[edit] Genesis 21:34

And Abraham sojourned in the Philistines' land many days.

[edit] Genesis 21:34 Notes

[edit] Genesis Chapter 22 (Godly Child Abuse of Isaac)

[edit] Genesis 22:1

And it came to pass after these things, that God did tempt Abraham, and said unto him, Abraham: and he said, Behold, here I am.

[edit] Genesis 22:1 Notes

[edit] Genesis 22:2

And he said, Take now thy son, thine only son Isaac, whom thou lovest, and get thee into the land of Moriah; and offer him there for a burnt offering upon one of the mountains which I will tell thee of.

[edit] Genesis 22:2 Notes

Abraham was willing to haggle about the number of righteous people in Sodom, but didn't think of trying to offer one of the livestock instead. Also note that Isaac was considered to be the main descendant as promised by God.

[edit] Genesis 22:3

And Abraham rose up early in the morning, and saddled his ass, and took two of his young men with him, and Isaac his son, and clave the wood for the burnt offering, and rose up, and went unto the place of which God had told him.

[edit] Genesis 22:3 Notes

[edit] Genesis 22:4

Then on the third day Abraham lifted up his eyes, and saw the place afar off.

[edit] Genesis 22:4 Notes

[edit] Genesis 22:5

And Abraham said unto his young men, Abide ye here with the ass; and I and the lad will go yonder and worship, and come again to you.

[edit] Genesis 22:5 Notes

[edit] Genesis 22:6

And Abraham took the wood of the burnt offering, and laid it upon Isaac his son; and he took the fire in his hand, and a knife; and they went both of them together.

[edit] Genesis 22:6 Notes

[edit] Genesis 22:7

And Isaac spake unto Abraham his father, and said, My father: and he said, Here am I, my son. And he said, Behold the fire and the wood: but where is the lamb for a burnt offering?

[edit] Genesis 22:7 Notes

Is Isaac a total idiot? At no point does he cue that something isn't right about this sacrifice and that he might be the offering. Instead he curiously wonders where the heck the sacrificial animal has gone.

[edit] Genesis 22:8

And Abraham said, My son, God will provide himself a lamb for a burnt offering: so they went both of them together.

[edit] Genesis 22:8 Notes

[edit] Genesis 22:9

And they came to the place which God had told him of; and Abraham built an altar there, and laid the wood in order, and bound Isaac his son, and laid him on the altar upon the wood.

[edit] Genesis 22:9 Notes

[edit] Genesis 22:10

And Abraham stretched forth his hand, and took the knife to slay his son.

[edit] Genesis 22:10 Notes

[edit] Genesis 22:11

And the angel of the LORD called unto him out of heaven, and said, Abraham, Abraham: and he said, Here am I.

[edit] Genesis 22:11 Notes

[edit] Genesis 22:12

And he said, Lay not thine hand upon the lad, neither do thou any thing unto him: for now I know that thou fearest God, seeing thou hast not withheld thy son, thine only son from me.

[edit] Genesis 22:12 Notes

Ishmael is officially disowned.

[edit] Genesis 22:13

And Abraham lifted up his eyes, and looked, and behold behind him a ram caught in a thicket by his horns: and Abraham went and took the ram, and offered him up for a burnt offering in the stead of his son.

[edit] Genesis 22:13 Notes

Isaac's a pretty brave lad if he wasn't at all fazed by nearly having his throat cut by his father. One would expect him to be very unhappy at this point and very angry.

[edit] Genesis 22:14

And Abraham called the name of that place Jehovahjireh: as it is said to this day, In the mount of the LORD it shall be seen.

[edit] Genesis 22:14 Notes

Some translations use Yahweh-Yireh - in any case, speaking the name of the mountain also requires using the name of God. This highlights that the later Jewish taboo on speaking the God's name was not in force at that time.

[edit] Genesis 22:15

And the angel of the LORD called unto Abraham out of heaven the second time,

[edit] Genesis 22:15 Notes

[edit] Genesis 22:16

And said, By myself have I sworn, saith the LORD, for because thou hast done this thing, and hast not withheld thy son, thine only son:

[edit] Genesis 22:16 Notes

[edit] Genesis 22:17

That in blessing I will bless thee, and in multiplying I will multiply thy seed as the stars of the heaven, and as the sand which is upon the sea shore; and thy seed shall possess the gate of his enemies;

[edit] Genesis 22:17 Notes

[edit] Genesis 22:18

And in thy seed shall all the nations of the earth be blessed; because thou hast obeyed my voice.

[edit] Genesis 22:18 Notes

[edit] Genesis 22:19

So Abraham returned unto his young men, and they rose up and went together to Beersheba; and Abraham dwelt at Beersheba.

[edit] Genesis 22:19 Notes

[edit] Genesis 22:20

And it came to pass after these things, that it was told Abraham, saying, Behold, Milcah, she hath also born children unto thy brother Nahor;

[edit] Genesis 22:20 Notes

[edit] Genesis 22:21

Huz his firstborn, and Buz his brother, and Kemuel the father of Aram,

[edit] Genesis 22:21 Notes

[edit] Genesis 22:22

And Chesed, and Hazo, and Pildash, and Jidlaph, and Bethuel.

[edit] Genesis 22:22 Notes

[edit] Genesis 22:23

And Bethuel begat Rebekah: these eight Milcah did bear to Nahor, Abraham's brother.

[edit] Genesis 22:23 Notes

[edit] Genesis 22:24

And his concubine, whose name was Reumah, she bare also Tebah, and Gaham, and Thahash, and Maachah.

[edit] Genesis 22:24 Notes

[edit] Genesis Chapter 23

[edit] Genesis 23:1

And Sarah was an hundred and seven and twenty years old: these were the years of the life of Sarah.

[edit] Genesis 23:1 Notes

[edit] Genesis 23:2

And Sarah died in Kirjatharba; the same is Hebron in the land of Canaan: and Abraham came to mourn for Sarah, and to weep for her.

[edit] Genesis 23:2 Notes

[edit] Genesis 23:3

And Abraham stood up from before his dead, and spake unto the sons of Heth, saying,

[edit] Genesis 23:3 Notes

[edit] Genesis 23:4

I am a stranger and a sojourner with you: give me a possession of a buryingplace with you, that I may bury my dead out of my sight.

[edit] Genesis 23:4 Notes

[edit] Genesis 23:5

And the children of Heth answered Abraham, saying unto him,

[edit] Genesis 23:5 Notes

[edit] Genesis 23:6

Hear us, my lord: thou art a mighty prince among us: in the choice of our sepulchres bury thy dead; none of us shall withhold from thee his sepulchre, but that thou mayest bury thy dead.

[edit] Genesis 23:6 Notes

[edit] Genesis 23:7

And Abraham stood up, and bowed himself to the people of the land, even to the children of Heth.

[edit] Genesis 23:7 Notes

[edit] Genesis 23:8

And he communed with them, saying, If it be your mind that I should bury my dead out of my sight; hear me, and intreat for me to Ephron the son of Zohar,

[edit] Genesis 23:8 Notes

[edit] Genesis 23:9

That he may give me the cave of Machpelah, which he hath, which is in the end of his field; for as much money as it is worth he shall give it me for a possession of a buryingplace amongst you.

[edit] Genesis 23:9 Notes

[edit] Genesis 23:10

And Ephron dwelt among the children of Heth: and Ephron the Hittite answered Abraham in the audience of the children of Heth, even of all that went in at the gate of his city, saying,

[edit] Genesis 23:10 Notes

[edit] Genesis 23:11

Nay, my lord, hear me: the field give I thee, and the cave that is therein, I give it thee; in the presence of the sons of my people give I it thee: bury thy dead.

[edit] Genesis 23:11 Notes

[edit] Genesis 23:12

And Abraham bowed down himself before the people of the land.

[edit] Genesis 23:12 Notes

[edit] Genesis 23:13

And he spake unto Ephron in the audience of the people of the land, saying, But if thou wilt give it, I pray thee, hear me: I will give thee money for the field; take it of me, and I will bury my dead there.

[edit] Genesis 23:13 Notes

[edit] Genesis 23:14

And Ephron answered Abraham, saying unto him,

[edit] Genesis 23:14 Notes

[edit] Genesis 23:15

My lord, hearken unto me: the land is worth four hundred shekels of silver; what is that betwixt me and thee? bury therefore thy dead.

[edit] Genesis 23:15 Notes

[edit] Genesis 23:16

And Abraham hearkened unto Ephron; and Abraham weighed to Ephron the silver, which he had named in the audience of the sons of Heth, four hundred shekels of silver, current money with the merchant.

[edit] Genesis 23:16 Notes

[edit] Genesis 23:17

And the field of Ephron which was in Machpelah, which was before Mamre, the field, and the cave which was therein, and all the trees that were in the field, that were in all the borders round about, were made sure

[edit] Genesis 23:17 Notes

[edit] Genesis 23:18

Unto Abraham for a possession in the presence of the children of Heth, before all that went in at the gate of his city.

[edit] Genesis 23:18 Notes

[edit] Genesis 23:19

And after this, Abraham buried Sarah his wife in the cave of the field of Machpelah before Mamre: the same is Hebron in the land of Canaan.

[edit] Genesis 23:19 Notes

[edit] Genesis 23:20

And the field, and the cave that is therein, were made sure unto Abraham for a possession of a buryingplace by the sons of Heth.

[edit] Genesis 23:20 Notes

[edit] Genesis Chapter 24

[edit] Genesis 24:1

And Abraham was old, and well stricken in age: and the LORD had blessed Abraham in all things.

[edit] Genesis 24:1 Notes

[edit] Genesis 24:2

And Abraham said unto his eldest servant of his house, that ruled over all that he had, Put, I pray thee, thy hand under my thigh:

[edit] Genesis 24:2 Notes

[edit] Genesis 24:3

And I will make thee swear by the LORD, the God of heaven, and the God of the earth, that thou shalt not take a wife unto my son of the daughters of the Canaanites, among whom I dwell:

[edit] Genesis 24:3 Notes

[edit] Genesis 24:4

But thou shalt go unto my country, and to my kindred, and take a wife unto my son Isaac.

[edit] Genesis 24:4 Notes

[edit] Genesis 24:5

And the servant said unto him, Peradventure the woman will not be willing to follow me unto this land: must I needs bring thy son again unto the land from whence thou camest?

[edit] Genesis 24:5 Notes

[edit] Genesis 24:6

And Abraham said unto him, Beware thou that thou bring not my son thither again.

[edit] Genesis 24:6 Notes

[edit] Genesis 24:7

The LORD God of heaven, which took me from my father's house, and from the land of my kindred, and which spake unto me, and that sware unto me, saying, Unto thy seed will I give this land; he shall send his angel before thee, and thou shalt take a wife unto my son from thence.

[edit] Genesis 24:7 Notes

[edit] Genesis 24:8

And if the woman will not be willing to follow thee, then thou shalt be clear from this my oath: only bring not my son thither again.

[edit] Genesis 24:8 Notes

[edit] Genesis 24:9

And the servant put his hand under the thigh of Abraham his master, and sware to him concerning that matter.

[edit] Genesis 24:9 Notes

[edit] Genesis 24:10

And the servant took ten camels of the camels of his master, and departed; for all the goods of his master were in his hand: and he arose, and went to Mesopotamia, unto the city of Nahor.

[edit] Genesis 24:10 Notes

[edit] Genesis 24:11

And he made his camels to kneel down without the city by a well of water at the time of the evening, even the time that women go out to draw water.

[edit] Genesis 24:11 Notes

[edit] Genesis 24:12

And he said O LORD God of my master Abraham, I pray thee, send me good speed this day, and shew kindness unto my master Abraham.

[edit] Genesis 24:12 Notes

[edit] Genesis 24:13

Behold, I stand here by the well of water; and the daughters of the men of the city come out to draw water:

[edit] Genesis 24:13 Notes

[edit] Genesis 24:14

And let it come to pass, that the damsel to whom I shall say, Let down thy pitcher, I pray thee, that I may drink; and she shall say, Drink, and I will give thy camels drink also: let the same be she that thou hast appointed for thy servant Isaac; and thereby shall I know that thou hast shewed kindness unto my master.

[edit] Genesis 24:14 Notes

[edit] Genesis 24:15

And it came to pass, before he had done speaking, that, behold, Rebekah came out, who was born to Bethuel, son of Milcah, the wife of Nahor, Abraham's brother, with her pitcher upon her shoulder.

[edit] Genesis 24:15 Notes

[edit] Genesis 24:16

And the damsel was very fair to look upon, a virgin, neither had any man known her: and she went down to the well, and filled her pitcher, and came up.

[edit] Genesis 24:16 Notes

[edit] Genesis 24:17

And the servant ran to meet her, and said, Let me, I pray thee, drink a little water of thy pitcher.

[edit] Genesis 24:17 Notes

[edit] Genesis 24:18

And she said, Drink, my lord: and she hasted, and let down her pitcher upon her hand, and gave him drink.

[edit] Genesis 24:18 Notes

[edit] Genesis 24:19

And when she had done giving him drink, she said, I will draw water for thy camels also, until they have done drinking.

[edit] Genesis 24:19 Notes

[edit] Genesis 24:20

And she hasted, and emptied her pitcher into the trough, and ran again unto the well to draw water, and drew for all his camels.

[edit] Genesis 24:20 Notes

[edit] Genesis 24:21

And the man wondering at her held his peace, to wit whether the LORD had made his journey prosperous or not.

[edit] Genesis 24:21 Notes

[edit] Genesis 24:22

And it came to pass, as the camels had done drinking, that the man took a golden earring of half a shekel weight, and two bracelets for her hands of ten shekels weight of gold;

[edit] Genesis 24:22 Notes

[edit] Genesis 24:23

And said, Whose daughter art thou? tell me, I pray thee: is there room in thy father's house for us to lodge in?

[edit] Genesis 24:23 Notes

[edit] Genesis 24:24

And she said unto him, I am the daughter of Bethuel the son of Milcah, which she bare unto Nahor.

[edit] Genesis 24:24 Notes

[edit] Genesis 24:25

She said moreover unto him, We have both straw and provender enough, and room to lodge in.

[edit] Genesis 24:25 Notes

[edit] Genesis 24:26

And the man bowed down his head, and worshipped the LORD.

[edit] Genesis 24:26 Notes

[edit] Genesis 24:27

And he said, Blessed be the LORD God of my master Abraham, who hath not left destitute my master of his mercy and his truth: I being in the way, the LORD led me to the house of my master's brethren.

[edit] Genesis 24:27 Notes

[edit] Genesis 24:28

And the damsel ran, and told them of her mother's house these things.

[edit] Genesis 24:28 Notes

[edit] Genesis 24:29

And Rebekah had a brother, and his name was Laban: and Laban ran out unto the man, unto the well.

[edit] Genesis 24:29 Notes

[edit] Genesis 24:30

And it came to pass, when he saw the earring and bracelets upon his sister's hands, and when he heard the words of Rebekah his sister, saying, Thus spake the man unto me; that he came unto the man; and, behold, he stood by the camels at the well.

[edit] Genesis 24:30 Notes

[edit] Genesis 24:31

And he said, Come in, thou blessed of the LORD; wherefore standest thou without? for I have prepared the house, and room for the camels.

[edit] Genesis 24:31 Notes

[edit] Genesis 24:32

And the man came into the house: and he ungirded his camels, and gave straw and provender for the camels, and water to wash his feet, and the men's feet that were with him.

[edit] Genesis 24:32 Notes

[edit] Genesis 24:33

And there was set meat before him to eat: but he said, I will not eat, until I have told mine errand. And he said, Speak on.

[edit] Genesis 24:33 Notes

[edit] Genesis 24:34

And he said, I am Abraham's servant.

[edit] Genesis 24:34 Notes

[edit] Genesis 24:35

And the LORD hath blessed my master greatly; and he is become great: and he hath given him flocks, and herds, and silver, and gold, and menservants, and maidservants, and camels, and asses.

[edit] Genesis 24:35 Notes

[edit] Genesis 24:36

And Sarah my master's wife bare a son to my master when she was old: and unto him hath he given all that he hath.

[edit] Genesis 24:36 Notes

[edit] Genesis 24:37

And my master made me swear, saying, Thou shalt not take a wife to my son of the daughters of the Canaanites, in whose land I dwell:

[edit] Genesis 24:37 Notes

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