| It doesn't stop|
at the water's edge
“”Good to know my nation’s foreign policy was in the hands of a Palpatine fanboy. THOSE REBELS WERE JUST LOOKING FOR A HANDOUT!...I honestly can’t believe I live in a world where fartsniffers like Kristol and Tom Friedman still manage to flourish. Why haven’t these men been dropped down a manhole? Who keeps giving them money? I have no faith in anything.
Wingnut welfare refers to jobs or deals offered to conservatives on the basis of ideological purity rather than talent or experience. Are you surrounded by yes-men and lackeys and feel under political threat? No need to toss reporters into jail for daring to criticize Dear Leader—that's what public relations is for! You see, in "Real Democracies™" you just slander real journalists and incentivise shills. The term was coined in 2005 by blogger Jane Hamsher, who used it in reference to Pajamas Media. It has since become a popular term among liberal bloggers.
Wingnut welfare typically describes positions at conservative publishing houses, opinion journals, and websites. However, not all such positions are considered wingnut welfare. The term is generally applied to those positions or deals which are divorced from free-market business principles. Put simply, wingnut welfare recipients are not expected to generate profit or even make any money at all, but rather, to act as "loss leaders" in the promotion of right-wing ideas to the masses. The wingnut circuit isn't functionally different from the old (or current) Soviet propaganda apparatus.
 Notable recipients
- Keith Ablow
- He's got political aspirations. Those almost always include eagerness to put somebody else's "boots on the ground."
- Michael "Decius" Anton
- "The bars of conservative bohemia will have names like 'Churchill's' and inside, people will drink Sam Adams and crusted port while the gentle cadences of Brahms and the ethereal voice of Ella Fitzgerald sooth their savage breasts...." So, basically the conservative utopia is a less-noisy bar. This guy now has a job on the National Security Council.
- Andrew Breitbart
- Helped bring down that evil organization known as ACORN, granted he continuously cited a highly-edited, out-of-context and fabricated "sting video" that had little-to-no-factual basis at all. Of course the use of doctored footage didn't mean shit to him or Faux News as long as they were able to accomplish their agenda.
- Ben Carson
- Carson had pretty amazing fundraising numbers for a guy that walks around with his eyes closed. There's been speculation that Carson's whole Presidential campaign is a scam, with millions of dollars in donations being spent and recycled by advertising, bulk mailing, and other PR companies. If there was ever a case of someone using the race to the White House for personal profit (or, like so many failed Republican candidates, becoming a paid commentator for Fox News), this is it. When asked about whether he'd settle for a VP slot, he said "I'm not looking for a job." Yeah, except for the job of becoming the President of the Fucking United States.
- Glenn Beck
- The damage this man did with a camera and chalkboard is amazing. He is like a nefarious Stephen Colbert.
- Ann Coulter
- She is an agitator. She doesn't appeal to many, but she offends millions. She knows that pissing off the left is a great way to keep herself in the spotlight. She doesn't have to appeal to anyone on the right, she can maintain her celebrity by manipulating the left.
- Dinesh D'Souza
- While in Dartmouth College, became a staffer for the campus's newly formed conservative newspaper, The Dartmouth Review, which was subsidized by outside donors.
- Ross Douthat
- The man hired to replace Bill Kristol at the New York Times. After Kristol left, the Times felt obliged to hire a conservative to replace him.
- Josh Duggar
- A truly odious example. Received a high-ranking job at the Family Research Council, even though he was only in his early twenties, presumably for no reason other than being the eldest son of the Duggar family. This backfired massively when certain facts about young Josh and his contact with police and his younger sisters at an earlier age came to light, along with a paid account for the adultery facilitating website, Ashleymadison.com.
- Stephen Moore
Chief economist"Distinguished Visiting Fellow" of the Heritage Foundation despite having so many factual mistakes in his writings the Kansas City Star stated it could no longer print his work. (Unsurprising, since Moore isn't actually an economist.) His PolitiFact score has never been above "Half-true".
- Rudy Giuliani
- Giuliani was respected before he went crazy and sunk into right-wing news circuit hell.
- Jonah Goldberg
- One of the most commonly-printed conservative columnists, and a lifelong (literally from the womb) recipient of wingnut welfare. Pretty much any one of his columns can be summed up as "DAE LIBERALS ARE SO SMUG"
- H.A. Goodman
- America's own Baghdad Bob. A fantasy novelist turned "political writer", he spams pro-Sanders articles on Salon and HuffPo just to profit from delusional Bernouts. He likes to ramble into a camera for 10-20 minutes about how Bernie is going to DOMINATE
Iowa Nevada South Carolina he's going to sweep Super Tuesday losing the nomination means that Bernie just won the White Houseetc. (he also does the Elliot Rodger thing with the eyes). His support of Sanders is nothing more than anti-Clintonism.
- Alex Jones
- He used to be all about aliens in the 90's, back when that was the thing. Then came his 'non-partisan' phase during the Bush years, claiming both sides are evil. Now he's a full-blown, authoritarian sycophant. (Well, Clinton has the Reptilian, Illuminati, Free Mason, Clockwork Elf, and Bilderberg vote on lock, so it's really no surprise she blah blah) Guess he just goes where the gullible money is. Non-Americans might know Alex from his cameo in Waking Life.
- Bill Kristol
- A textbook case, Kristol manages to find consistent employment in spite of the fact that he's been wrong about virtually every claim he's ever made.
- Art Laffer
- Laffer is still making the rounds? Explains the depth of economic illiteracy in government if people are listening to him. Laffer has made a career from bogus analysis that happens to support the entitled. It was clear even as Reagan was trying it that results weren't as forecast. (When has a politician ever listened to an economist if it doesn't suit his agenda?) Art Laffer is the guy who, in 2007, when asked if a recession is coming said "the US economy has never been in better shape!" Also, his own proof (which doesn't actually prove anything) shows that government spending is sometimes a good thing. Economics has to be the only field where you can be dead wrong and still have a lucrative career.
- Mark Levin
- He may be a shrill demagogue, but he's somehow managed to translate his utter lack of social skills into a healthy business model, and that is impressive.
- Rush Limbaugh
- After years of struggling as a sportscaster he finally found his bread and butter. Not a surprise that Rushbo's syndicator, Premiere Radio Networks, is the single largest "independent contractor" of the Heritage Foundation, receiving $2,236,555 from the think tank in 2013.
- Megan McArdle
- A blogger employed at The Atlantic. Managed to get hired as an economics writer in spite of the fact that she has no expertise in economics. She now writes at Bloomberg, much to the dismay of Barry Ritholtz.
- Christopher Monckton
- The eccentric peer has always refused to cough up the name of the financier who paid him to "investigate" climate science. However, an investigation by DeSmog UK has established that the mystery man is Edgar Miller, a right-wing Texan who made his fortune in shale gas.
- Grover Norquist
- According to the immodestly-titled "Norquist pledge", any revenue gained from the closing of tax loopholes must go toward lowering tax rates, and thus be revenue neutral (as Romney insisted with his "tax reform" proposal). We've been hearing this Abramoff/Nixon/Reagan/Bush crony cajole and bully and whine for decades, but nobody has the spine to tell Norquist to fuck off. He's just another corrosive influence on politics for personal gain.
- Camille Paglia
- Take archaic assertions about women (which sound an awful lot like redpill arguments), dress them up with $2 words, declare it a breakthrough in gender politics. Her latest, It's A Man's World, And It Always Will Be earned her a new generation of fans. (People think it's interesting that she would criticize feminism, seeing that she is a "female intellectual".) Although she calls herself a feminist, she seems more misanthropic than anything. However unlike say, Phyllis Schlafly, Paglia is, fundamentally, all about attention-seeking and saying radical contrarian things to seem smart. She occasionally writes incoherent rants for Salon (strange, considering it's something of a moonbat welfare provider) covering topics like: lesbian bed death, comparing Sarah Palin's word vomit to listening to some pretty excellent jazz, how global warming is not real, etc. etc.
- Sarah Palin
- Someone loves her enough to subsidize her family tooling around in a Hummer limousine. But wait, it gets dumber. Remember when Bristol Palin, daughter of national oddity Governor Palin, was on Dancing with the Stars? When the audience was asked to call in and vote, she won in a landslide-and it was determined that Republicans, hoping to raise her Q rating so it might rub off on her mother in that election, brigaded the show: They used their campaign's robo-call system to flood the lines with votes for Bristol and swarmed the website.
- Star Parker
- Switched from actual welfare to wingnut welfare after realizing it paid better. A combination of wingnut welfare and tokenism who spends most of her time claiming that the African-American community (except her, naturally) is brainwashed and needs to WAKE UP!!!
- Ron Paul
- Ron would often add earmarks to bills that were guaranteed to pass, siphoning money to his state, and then he would vote against those bills, just to show ideological purity. Which actually makes him an even worse hypocrite than the majority of congress! This is the same "maverick" who holds moneybombs every other weekend—including his own birthday and Labor Day (because "Ron Paul" is the first name we associate with everything Labor Day is about). His son's presidential money bombs were really sad—especially toward the end, where he would continuously struggle to raise a paltry $50k over the course of a week.
- Ben Shapiro
- The gravy train began after he published his first book at age 20, Brainwashed: How Universities Indoctrinate America's Youth, a book with every innuendo against the supposed liberal bias of colleges that conservatives want to hear. Has made a career out of this kind of "political analysis" since then.
- Amity Shlaes
- Makes quite a bit of money off of conservative activists and websites for being a prominent New Deal denialist despite not having even a formal degree in economics or history and being heavily criticized by those who do.
- Bruce Tinsley
- Creator of Mallard Fillmore, the primal scream in comic strip form. His strip is put on Opinion pages as a balance to Doonesbury in some papers.
- Milo Yiannopoulos
- A fascist troll (the worst kind) whining about Islam's treatment of LGBTs and then calling them "tranny faggots" in the same breath. It's quite surreal. Before that, he ran The Kernel, a failed technology blog, which tried to capitalize on Gamergate. He parlayed that into a managing editor position at Breitbart.com's tech vertical. Simon & Shuster paid him 250K to regurgitate stale 4chan memes and MRA arguments (The solution to harassment online? Stop going on the internet, ladies!). Most people are only familiar with him as the guy who apparently gave the country "permission" to use the word "faggot." Strap in, you're going to have a lot more reasons to hate him soon.
 Notable sources
- Regnery Publishing
- Once the publisher of choice for conservative intellectuals, Regnery Publishing has become a clearing house for every right-wing commentator with a pulse and a dream. Among the authors published by Regnery are Newt Gingrich, Michelle Malkin, Dinesh D'Souza, Steve Milloy and Chuck Norris. Regnery is known for poor production values, selling books to affiliated book clubs to artificially inflate sales, and less-than-friendly contracts.
- Salem Radio Network
- Salem Radio Network is the home of quite a few partisan hacks who manage to keep their jobs despite being horribly wrong on nearly every prediction they bother to make or voicing opinions so atrocious that anyone with standards would have fired most of them long ago, and they rarely receive even a slap on the wrist for their stupidity.
- National Review Online
- The online branch of the National Review (arguably a source of wingnut welfare itself) is home to many hack writers. While Jonah Goldberg is the most notorious, a far more egregious example can be found in Kathryn Jean Lopez, who was made an editor despite the frequent spelling and grammar errors present in her own posts.
- To the right of National Review and has an enormous amount of columnists because they let nearly any wingnut with a keyboard and an internet connection contribute an article to the site.
- While definitely low on the totem pole, WND does provide sinecures for many bad writers.
- While about as pathetic as you can get while still remaining at least slightly notable, it does still have many writers who are given a home there despite (or perhaps because of) their incoherent rambling and general insanity.
- Whether you're a racist former US Representative (Tom Tancredo), a washed-up character actor (Robert Davi), an actual FBI agent provocateur (Brandon Darby) or failed tech blogger (see above), if you toe the line on populist conservative orthodoxy and can write poorly reasoned, hyperbolic, Manichean sentences easily understood by the more ignorant swaths of the American Right, then Breitbart.com has a place for you. Through Breitbart.com, millionaire owner Stephen Bannon has emerged as one of the more significant Daddy Warbucks of the reactionary right, and his largess appears to know no benefactor too disreputable or too discredited. So long as long as they adhere to his populist, anti-intellectual, far-right worldview, then they can post whatever crosses their minds in his echo chamber.
 Wingnut welfare and the Bush II administration
Most wingnut welfare comes from the private sector. However, during the Bush administration there were numerous high-profile cases of individuals receiving money or public sector positions on the basis of their beliefs. Here are a few of the more notable cases:
 Armstrong Williams
In 2005, the Department of Education signed a contract with PR firm Ketchum to promote No Child Left Behind. As part of their campaign, Ketchum paid $240,000 to commentator Armstrong Williams to promote NCLB on his television and radio programs. In the wake of the scandal, the White House disavowed any knowledge of the payoff, and Williams was released from his contract with Tribune Media Services. While Williams apologized, he also claimed that the only reason his conflict of interest was controversial was because he was black.
 George C. Deutsch
Deutsch, who worked on Bush's reelection campaign, was appointed to NASA's press office. A creationist, Deutsch attempted to have the word "theory" added to every instance of the phrase "Big Bang" on NASA's website. He also allegedly kept the press from talking to Dr. James Hansen, an expert on global warming. He was released from his position in 2006 after blogger Nick Anthis discovered that Deutsch had lied on his résumé and had never actually graduated college. He later claimed that the only reason his appointment was controversial was because he was a Christian. (Noticing a pattern here?)
 Maggie Gallagher
 In Iraq
Perhaps the most disastrous examples of wingnut welfare occurred in the Coalition Provisional Authority in Iraq. The problems stemmed from James O'Beirne, the White House liaison to the Pentagon. O'Beirne's interviews of prospective CPA staffers included questions about their political beliefs and voting records. As a result, the CPA was largely staffed by loyal Republicans with little or no relevant experience. Among the more egregious appointments was Jay Hallen, a 24 year-old who was placed in charge of reopening the Iraqi stock market despite having no financial experience whatsoever.
 See also
- ↑ Drew Magary, Deadspin
- ↑ Wingnut Welfare, Firedoglake, 12/26/05
- ↑ Gray, Rosie, "The Populist Nationalist on Trump's National Security Council", Atlantic (3/24/17 at 5:00AM).
- ↑ Graham, David A., "Does Ben Carson Suspect His Campaign Was a Scam?", The Atlantic 2.24.16.
- ↑ Transcript: CNN Republican Presidential Town Hall, Greenville, SC.
- ↑ Flashback: Duggars Call LGBT People A Threat To Child Safety; Duggar Resigns From FRC, Right Wing Watch
- ↑ 2 of his 3 scores is in false territory, too.
- ↑ BREAKING: Hillary Clinton to Endorse Bernie in H.A. Goodman's parallel timeline. Ha Ha Goodone!
- ↑ Clifton, Allen, "Exposing Facts About Fanatical ‘Pro-Bernie Sanders’ Blogger H.A. Goodman", Forward Progressives 6.10.16.
- ↑ Serchuk, Dave, "Great Moments In Punditry: Art Laffer Edition", Forbes (12/28/2011 @ 9:49AM).
- ↑ Montague, Brendan, "Lawson's Climate Denial Donor Boasts of Shale Gas Investment", DeSmog UK (9/30/14 -at 1:15 am).
- ↑ Itkowitz, Corey, "Bristol Palin Throws a Mean Right Hook", WaPo 9.11.14.
- ↑ Morrissey, Tracie Egan, "How Palin Conservatives Are Cheating The DWTS Voting System", Jezebel (11/16/10 1:21pm).
- ↑ Guthrie, Marisa, "Why Bristol Palin Is Still on 'Dancing With the Stars'", The Hollywood Reporter (11/11/10 at 5:59 AM PST).
- ↑ Conservative Authors Sue Publisher, The New York Times, 11/07/07
- ↑ Hugh Hewitt being wrong on virtually every election outcome in both 2008 and 2012
- ↑ Hugh Hewitt being wrong on the "Friends of Hamas" manufactroversy
- ↑ Hewitt doubles down on "Friends of Hamas"
- ↑ Dennis Prager being wrong on the “In God We Trust” motto not being shown on television
- ↑ Picture of "Under God" motto shown on CBS News
- ↑ Michael Medved's book on why Obama will lose in 2012
- ↑ Bill Bennett on Mitt Romney's "momentum".
- ↑ Michael Medved on the inferior genetics of African slaves
- ↑ Dennis Prager on why Muslims (Keith Ellison, specifically) shouldn't be allowed to be sworn into office on the Koran
- ↑ "if you wanted to reduce crime, you could -- if that were your sole purpose -- you could abort every black baby in this country, and your crime rate would go down."- Bill Bennett
- ↑ Mike Gallagher calls for a "Muslims only" line at airports
- ↑ Tom Tancredo: If You Can't Spell Vote, Should You be Allowed To?
- ↑ Robert Davi: Trump: The Lion We Need
- ↑ Brandon Darby: Left Media Just Can't Stop Trashing Sheriff Joe Arpaio for Doing His Job
- ↑ Milo Yiannopoulos: Donald Trump is America's Number One Victim of Cyber Violence
- ↑ Education Dept. paid commentator to promote law, USA Today, 1/7/2005
- ↑ Commentator Caught Up in Controversy Tries to Move On, The New York Times, 02/17/05
- ↑ 
- ↑ BREAKING NEWS: George Deutsch Did Not Graduate From Texas A & M University, The Scientific Activist, 02/06/06
- ↑ Censorship Is Alleged at NOAA, The Washington Post, 02/11/06
- ↑ Writer Backing Bush Plan Had Gotten Federal Contract, Washington Post
- ↑ James is married to Kate O'Beirne, the Washington editor of the National Review. Just sayin'.
- ↑ Ties to GOP Trumped Know-How Among Staff Sent to Rebuild Iraq, The Washington Post, 09/17/06