Sarah Palin
From RationalWiki
Sarah Palin (born February 11, 1964) was the Governor of Alaska and a prime example of how well abstinence education works. She was the youngest Governor in Alaskan history and the first to be born after Alaskan statehood. On August 29th, 2008 presidential candidate John McCain selected her to be his running-mate (the Geezer and Gidgit ticket),[1] despite the fact that she didn't really know what a vice president does.[2][3] She supports teaching creationism alongside evolution in biology classrooms,[4][5] and came prepackaged with scandal.[6][7] In addition, her unmarried 17-year-old daughter was pregnant, seemingly only to add more problems to her already stressful VP campaign. But it all added to the spin fun.[8]
Despite complaining on the campaign trail that her family struggles to pay the bills, as well as claiming to be "an everyday, working-class American",[9] it was reported during the campaign that the Palins are worth at least $1.2million, and own a plane, a half million dollar lakefront home, as well as two holiday get-aways.[10]
Through some sick cosmic joke, Sarah Palin's genealogy reveals that she is distantly related to both Princess Diana and Franklin D. Roosevelt.[11]
In July 2009, Palin announced her decision to retire from the governorship of Alaska, in order to take up community organizing to ready herself for a run for the Presidency in 2012 and begin a career as a facebook blogger.
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[edit] Was it a good idea?
"Aim low. Aim so low that you never get disappointed." - McCain campaign slogan regarding Sarah Palin
As Barack Obama chose Joe Biden for his vice-presidential running mate due to his experience in foreign policy and the economy, and his attack-dog credentials, Senator McCain presumably chose Governor Palin in order to bring youth to the campaign, but this was apparently her only benefit. Some would say that her gender was a benefit to McCain in order to pander to Hillary Clinton supporters, but her anti-abortion stance didn't impress most of them, especially the female voters. Also, her touted environmentalist status was severely undercut by her support of oil-drilling in the Alaskan wilderness, making her either a hypocrite (possibly) or a liar (very likely). And while Obama has only a few years of political experience under his belt, Palin had only been in government for twenty months, making her even less experienced than he, and causing the Republicans to lose their favorite criticism of Obama. It must also be remembered that, as vice president, Palin would have had as much responsibility as McCain should he have been elected president. Furthermore if a hypothetical president McCain had died in office she would have had to take over as president, even though she would have been virtually unable to handle the responsibilities of that office.
She drew substantial criticism from staunch conservatives in Alaska for her perceived populist economic policies, including significantly raising taxes on oil production, subsidizing a new gas pipeline with public money, and advocating $1,200 energy supplements.[12] It remains to be seen how this will affect her standing with national conservatives in the long run.
[edit] Palin and the "new" feminism
If, during the election, one had read only Republican Party supporting blogs, one might have thought that women voters were flocking to Palin, as a woman who does away with the old feminist views, showing what can be achieved without affirmative action.[13][14] These people were wrong. The political rally "Alaska Women Reject Palin" was larger than the pro-Palin homecoming rally the week before.[15][16] Also no one could possibly support anyone who would charge a rape victim for the processing of the "crime scene" analysis known as the "rape kit".[17]
It also remains inconceivable to some True FeministsTM that a "feminist" can hold the position that women are legally, morally, ethically, intellectually equal to men while still saying that if raped, they must have the rapist's child. That's hardly an equality.
By bringing Trig into the world, chromosome problems and all, Sarah's life speaks directly to women who have been told they must choose between having children and having success. What she says is if you are successful and reasonably rich, you can demand that others make their "choices" in the way that you insist are the only "choice".
After the election there was talk that Palin might be under consideration for important posts in the Republican Party in the future. If this happens, American voters should be well aware that she has so far been against women's rights.
[edit] Experience
Political:
- Governor of one of the nation's smallest states by population for under two years.
- Two-term mayor of a town that:
1 - is about the size of some of the nation's largest high schools.
2 - has the largest number of meth labs in the state and...
3 - that Alaska voters had the good sense not to designate their capital in 1998.
Foreign policy:
- Squinting at Russia across the Bering Strait.
- A trip to Canada
- A stop over in
Éire,Ireland, that place with the green beer. - A one year old passport.
- Reportedly stated that Africa is a nation and spent over $40,000 on clothes from donated GOP money.[18][19]
Military:
- Commander-in-Chief of Alaska's National Guard. Except when they're actually called to duty, when they answer to the Department of Defense, not to the governor.
Athletic:
- Captain of Wasilla High School state champion basketball team
- Kills moose[20]
- Will pay you to kill wolves from the air[21]
Other:
- Reads every newspaper[22]
[edit] Awards
In September 2008, Sarah Palin was awarded the "Rubber Dodo Award" by the center for Biological Diversity.[23]On December 31, 2008, Sarah Palin was "awarded" the 2008 Douchebag of the Year award, by YouTube commentator Stephen Bryce's show "Bored on the Corner". Her likeness was later used on the 2009 Award. [24] She was also co-nominated (with Shona Holmes and Betsy McCaughey) for her role in the "death panel" lie controversy.[25] "Bored on the Corner -- 2009 Douchebag Nominees". On July 6, 2010, Bryce later used Palin's likeness and history of marijuana consumption, for the third place finisher in his "Douchebag of the Decade" awards. This particular prize was thus called "The Sarah Palin Peyote Award". [26]
[edit] Ongoing controversies
- Although it appears that she has not been a member of the Alaskan Independence Party, her husband has been, and she did provide a recorded welcoming to an AIP convention.[27]
- In what has become known as "Troopergate", she came under investigation in Alaska for abuse of power in trying to get her ex-brother-in-law fired. In keeping with the then Bush administration's policies, Gov. Palin and those connected with her refused to cooperate with the investigation and declined to respond to subpoenas while the Alaska Attorney General refused to enforce said subpoenas.[28] Additionally, Republicans tried to have the investigation stopped on the grounds that it was a politically motivated attack on Palin, in spite of the fact that the investigation started before McCain had selected her for his running mate. In October she was found to have abused her power as Governor by the investigation, although the state legislators have no power to take formal action against Palin. However, the Alaska Personnel Board could yet decide to take legal action against Palin if they decide that she acted unlawfully; if so the case will be referred to the president of the state Senate.[29]
- Though Palin is a staunch evangelical pro-lifer who advocates the "abstinence-only" program as a method of preventing teen pregnancies, her unmarried daughter became pregnant at 17.[30] She is now using this information as political fodder for her VP campaign as a way of "connecting" to families with similar issues. She and the whole Rovian/Bushian/McCainian team have used this as her own "POW" call. Apparently, if you have a child who, via your own teachings, doesn't live "up to snuff", it's not acceptable to discuss the child or the policies in public. It should also be noted that the "bluer" (i.e., more Democratic-voting) states have lower rates of teen pregnancy. But really, aren't "all babies beautiful" - Unless you are John McCain speaking of Hilary Clinton's daughter Chelsea, and saying how ugly she is?
- The National Enquirer says... (Aliens fed my baby to Elvis)
- Although she has not been a part of a socialist organization herself, her husband is a member of the United Steelworkers union. Labor unions are notorious for being liberal gangs opposed to a free-market, using any way possible, legal, or illegal, to take what they want from their members, companies, and the government.
- The Los Angeles Times interviews a man who says of Palin: "She told me she felt the world would end and she would see Jesus in her lifetime."[31]
- In the not-so-much-ado-about-nothing, category, Ms. Palin inquired about the process for removing books from the town library (though it should be noted that the "list of books" currently circulating claiming she wanted them banned is a complete fabrication).
- She thinks Dino the Dinosaur really did live with early man, 6000 years ago, right after the earth was made - in, yes, six days.
- She believes that the worst thing that Dick Cheney has ever done is shoot a friend of his during the infamous hunting accident, but to Cheney's credit, Palin totally thinks his friend had it coming for getting in the way of the gun.
- "Sarah Palin's rejection of an invitation to speak at the Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC) in February 2010 is arousing widespread criticism."[32] Allegedly she charges $100,000 per appearance, and won't turn up unless she's paid her thirty pices of silver.
- Palin did not report the construction of two new cabins on property she partially owns to the local government, and failed to report these new structures for taxes. "Palin's attorney, Thomas Van Flein, claims it is not the responsibility of property owners to report structures they build on the land. . . . Dunivan, however, said owners are required by state law to report any omissions or errors in their tax assessments."[33]
- During the Tea Party convention in February 2010, Palin required all questions for the Q&A with the audience after her talk to be pre-screened and pre-selected. In answering one of the questions, she read from notes written on her hand.
[edit] Famous quotes
[edit] by Sarah Palin
- ". . . where it is the taxpayers looking to bail out. But ultimately, what the bailout does is help those who are concerned about the healthcare reform that is needed to help shore up our economy. Um, helping, oh -- it's got to be all about job creation too. Shoring up our economy, and putting it back on the right track. So healthcare reform and reducing taxes and reining in spending has got to accompany tax reductions, and tax relief for Americans, and trade, we've got to see trade as opportunity, not as a competitive, um, scary thing, but 1 in 5 jobs being created in the trade sector today. We've got to look at that as more opportunity. All of those things under the umbrella of job creation. This bailout is a part of that." - Sarah Palin on the proposed bailout of the financial sector, also first known SNL parody that used the person's exact words.[34]
- "John McCain has already tapped me" ... "In that position" ... [I have] "a lot of flexibility in that position"" - Sarah Palin in the televised vice-presidential debate, October 2, 2008 - take that, Cindy!
- "Golly-gee!" - Vice-presidential debate, October 2, 2008
- "Goshdarnnit!" - Vice-presidential debate, October 2, 2008
- "Doggarnnit!" - Vice-presidential debate, October 2, 2008
- "Ubetcha!" - Vice-presidential debate, October 2, 2008
- "I'm not going to answer the questions..." - Vice-presidential debate, October 2, 2008[35]
- "Those are some backassward ways of fixing the economy." - Interview with Barbara Walters, November 17, 2009, on Barack Obama's economic strategies.
- "General McClellan did not say definitively the surge principles would not work in Afghanistan." - Vice-presidential debate, October 2, 2008. (It is unclear why Palin was anxious to heed the advice of General McClellan, particularly after he spectacularly botched the Peninsular Campaign, though it is possible that Palin meant to say General McKiernan.)
- "I can give you examples of things that John McCain has done, that has shown his foresight, his pragmatism, and his leadership abilities. And that is what America needs today." - Palin "I'm just going to ask you one more time - not to belabor the point. Specific examples in his 26 years of pushing for more regulation?" - Couric "I'll try to find you some and I'll bring them to ya!" - From an interview broadcast in late September 2008.
- "As Putin rears his head and comes into the air space of the United States of America, where – where do they go? It's Alaska. It's just right over the border." - [36]
- "I'd like to use one of my lifelines, Katie." - Okay, so it's really Tina Fey as Sarah Palin. Sue me.
[edit] about Sarah Palin
- "This is what the Republican Party has done to us this year: it has placed within reach of the Oval Office a woman who is a religious fanatic and a proud, boastful ignoramus." - Christopher Hitchens[37]
- "Elitism in this sense is not about educational or class credentials, not about where you went to school or whether you use "summer" as a verb. It is, rather, about the pursuit of excellence no matter where you started out in life. Jackson, Lincoln, Truman, Eisenhower, Johnson, Nixon, Ford, Carter, Reagan and Clinton were born to ordinary families, but they spent their lives doing extraordinary things, demonstrating an interest in, and a curiosity about, the world around them. This is much less evident in Palin's case." - Jon Meacham, Newsweek, The Palin Problem[38]
- "I used to think Michael Palin was the funniest Palin on Earth." - John Cleese[39]
- "I think she has pretty thoroughly — and probably irretrievably — proven that she is not up to the job of being president of the United States." - David Frum, conservative writer[40] Conservative columnist David Frum believes comparisons to Dan Quayle to be unfair… to Dan Quayle.
- "Caribou Barbie is one nutty puppy." - Maureen Dowd, New York Times, Now Sarah's Folly[41]
- "What looked like a secret wedding turned out to be a public unraveling as the G.O.P. implosion continued: Sarah wanted everyone to know that she’s not having fun and people are being mean to her and she doesn’t feel like finishing her first term as governor." - Maureen Dowd, New York Times, Now Sarah's Folly[42]
- "During the presidential campaign, Palin’s deep ignorance about most aspects of foreign and domestic policy provided her with a powerful political reason not to submit to interviews." - Todd S. Purdum, Vanity Fair, It Came from Wasilla[43]
- "...George W. Bush and Sarah Palin. They are both semiliterate at best. They both exude self-confidence. And they both claim a direct relationship with God...She is a very, very dangerous person." - Harold Bloom, Vice Magazine, Interview[44]
[edit] Irony meter
Not unlike so many things in and around the world of Conservative Christianity, Ms. Palin launched attacksWhen? against Obama that rather push the limits of Irony ToleranceTM.
- On October 5, she began whining about Obama's relationship with his pal, ex-"domestic terrorist" Bill Ayers, who once held strong views against the country and sadly backed those views with violence, but is now an accomplished expert on education and education reform. She neglected to tell the audience that Obama was 8 when Ayers was attacking this country, and that the "palling around" amounted to sitting on a committee together. In making this attack she forgot that she, herself, sleeps each and every night (or thereabouts) with someone who, as late as 2001, believed it was critical for Alaska to secede from the Union.
- On October 6, she began attacks about Mr. Obama's preacher, the Rev. Wright, and his political stances, while forgetting that she has a rather reckless, opinionated, witch-hunting, anti-Semitic preacher, Rev. Muthee, in her own church in Wasilla, whom she has credited with helping her to win her governor's post thanks to his laying-on-of-hands and prayers to protect her from "all forms of witchcraft."
[edit] Nicknames
- Caribou Barbie
- Vote-for-Me Barbie
- VPILF
- (The) baked Alaskan
- MILF McMooseburger
- Pit bull in lipstick (according to herself)
- Rambette
- Vampy, as in "Grampy and Vampy", the 2008 GOP Presidential ticket
- Bible Spice
- Mighty and Glorious Messianic Savior of the Holy Order of the Far Right
- Moron I'd Like to Forget
- Failin' Palin
- Saint Sarah of Wasilla
- Half-Governor
[edit] Sarahgrams
- Hi anal rasp
- Has anal rip
- Has air plan
- A sharp nail
- Las piranha
- Sharia plan
- Par à la shin
- Alas, φ ran
- Liar! Ah snap!
- Ran as phail
- I has anal PR
- Anal parish
- and so many more....
- Good job they lost: Sarah Palin, Vice President becomes: Is perhaps, devil incarnate
[edit] Songs
- Homecoming Queen's Got a Gun[45]
[edit] Jokes
Just say "Sarah Palin" and watch the hilarious reaction.
[edit] Parody
- Tina Fey's (uncanny) impersonation of Palin won her an Emmy in 2009.
- Hustler produced a series of adult films titled Who's Nailin' Paylin? that featured a character named "Serra Paylin".
[edit] See also
[edit] External links
- The Palin Presidency, movie trailer
- Palin's Resignation: The Edited Version, Vanity Fair
- Now you too can interview Sarah Palin.
[edit] Footnotes
- ↑ BBC
- ↑ http://www.politico.com/news/stories/0808/12969.html
- ↑ Hint: what vice presidents do is go to state funerals and try to avoid boredom while waiting for the president to die, or finish a second term so they themselves can run for president. Dick Cheney is the only obvious counter-example.
- ↑ http://scienceblogs.com/afarensis/2006/10/27/intelligent_design_and_the_ala/
- ↑ Anchorage Daily News
- ↑ http://tpmmuckraker.talkingpointsmemo.com/2008/08/ak_gov_says_staffer_pressed_for_troopers_firing.php
- ↑ "Here's hoping this article starts shining a little bit of light on the subject--the last thing we need a literal heartbeat away from the Presidency is a ninja dominionist." (Daily Kos)]
- ↑ http://elections.foxnews.com/2008/09/01/palins-17-year-old-daughter-is-pregnant/
- ↑ Also known as a hockey mom - big smile!
- ↑ At home with the Palins: 'struggling working-class Americans' worth $1.2m
- ↑ http://uk.reuters.com/article/lifestyleMolt/idUKTRE4971HJ20081008
- ↑ http://www.adn.com/opinion/story/339557.html
- ↑ A blog so poorly written that it has spelling errors in quotations
- ↑ A blog that spells lesbian "Lesbian" even though that would imply they are from Lesbos
- ↑ A blog on the rally, may not be accurate
- ↑ Snopes confirms the rally's existence and size, but not the size as the "largest ever rally".
- ↑ http://news.bostonherald.com/news/2008/view.bg?articleid=1118416&srvc=2008campaign&position=9
- ↑ http://extratv.warnerbros.com/2008/11/sarah_palins_secrets_leaked.php
- ↑ http://www.bordermail.com.au/news/world/world/general/is-africa-a-continent-palins-true-ignorance-now-revealed/1354593.aspx
- ↑ McCain Picks Alaska's Gov. Sarah Palin For VP Spot
- ↑ Sarah Palin’s Record on Killing Wolves is Brutal
- ↑ [1]
- ↑ Press release. "Palin Has Sought to Remove Endangered Species Act Protection for the Polar Bear, Suppressed and Lied About State Global Warming Studies, and Denied That Global Warming Is Caused by Greenhouse Gas Emissions"
- ↑ [2] "Bored on the Corner -- 2008 Douchebag of the Year"
- ↑ [3]
- ↑ [4]
- ↑ Alaskan Independence
- ↑ Troopergate story on MSNBC
- ↑ http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/americas/7662820.stm
- ↑ [5]
- ↑ LA times - Jesus to meet Palin in his lifetime
- ↑ http://rawstory.com/2010/01/palins-snub-conservative-conference-raises-questions/
- ↑ CapitalHillBlue. "Palin failed to report new cabins, pay taxes." http://www.capitolhillblue.com/node/25597
- ↑ http://www.latimes.com/news/politics/la-na-onthemedia26-2008sep26,0,7467803.story
- ↑ Taken wildy, at least one would hope, out of context.
- ↑ http://politicalhumor.about.com/od/sarahpalin/a/palin-top-10.htm
- ↑ http://www.slate.com/id/2203120/?wpisrc=newsletter
- ↑ http://www.newsweek.com/id/162396
- ↑ http://www.dailykos.com/story/2008/10/14/8435/2945
- ↑ New York Times article.
- ↑ http://www.nytimes.com/2009/07/05/opinion/05dowd.html
- ↑ http://www.nytimes.com/2009/07/05/opinion/05dowd.html
- ↑ http://www.vanityfair.com/politics/features/2009/08/sarah-palin200908
- ↑ http://www.viceland.com/int/v15n12/htdocs/harold-bloom-431.php
- ↑ By Julie Brown, thank you Stephanie Miller. Julie has also recorded an updated version, The Ex-beauty Queen's Got a Gun. "Oh no, I winged a homo!"

