|Hail to the Chief?|
|Persons of interest|
“”I used to think Michael Palin was the funniest Palin on Earth. What fascinates me is: people watching her on television - can they not see that she's basically learned certain speeches? She does them very well, she's got a very good memory, but it's like a nice-looking parrot.
|—John Cleese, The Telegraph|
Sarah Palin (born February 11, 1964) is the
political suicide vest MILF-y former Republican Governor of Alaska, a beauty queen, reality-TV star, and prime example of how well abstinence-only education works. She was the youngest Governor in Alaskan history, the first to be born after Alaskan statehood, and has damaged the state's public image more than any other person in recent memory. In 2016, she was offered an opportunity to become a Swamp Monster in Trump's cabinet, most likely as Secretary of the Inferior.
On August 29th, 2008 presidential candidate John McCain selected her to be his running-mate (the Geezer and Gidget ticket), despite the fact that she didn't really know what a Vice President does. She supports teaching creationism alongside evolution in biology classrooms, and came prepackaged with scandal.
Palin is widely and appropriately ridiculed by 2/3rds of American society, who accurately point out that she's a fool and that her opinion on any issue is the last one anyone should ask for. However, there's a certain subset of conservatives who shun all media outlets and honestly believe Palin was sandbagged by mainstream media for being conservative, and no other reason. Among those types of voters, Palin's lack of credentials can only be an endorsement. She was instrumental in electing Sen. Ted Cruz in Texas, gave the kiss of life to Rand Paul's moribund Presidential campaign, and, more recently, has allied with Donald Trump.
 Was it a good idea?
“”Aim low. Aim so low that you never get disappointed.
|—McCain campaign slogan regarding Sarah Palin|
She had an 89% approval rating in Alaska before being tagged for VP. She was literally the most popular governor in America. She likely could have served multiple terms, or maybe switched to be a senator. Palin did draw substantial criticism from staunch conservatives in Alaska for her perceived populist economic policies, including significantly raising taxes on oil production, subsidizing a new gas pipeline with public money, and advocating $1,200 energy supplements. (In point of fact, it was the largest operating budget in Alaskan history.) Bill Moyers even invited her onto his PBS show to talk progressive politics. It remained to be seen how this would affect her standing with conservatives in the long run, but she did have a future.
And less than 2 years of experience as governor.
As Barack Obama chose Joe Biden for his vice-presidential running mate due to his experience in foreign policy and the economy, and his attack-dog credentials, Senator McCain presumably chose Governor Palin in order to bring youth to the campaign. But this was apparently her only benefit. It worked for about a week when all she did was wave and give prepared speeches. Then they let her answer questions. If you're going to pick someone who is utterly unqualified, you should at least have a plan to protect her from the sharks. Some McCain insiders, however, blamed Sarah for digging in her heels and resisting attempts at vetting her. Before long, she had usurped her own campaign manager, Steve Schmidt.
Some would say that her gender was a benefit to McCain in order to pander to Hillary Clinton supporters, but her anti-abortion stance didn't impress most of them, especially the female voters. Also, her touted "environmentalist" status was severely undercut by her support of oil-drilling in the Alaskan wilderness. And while Obama had only a few years of political experience under his belt, Palin had only been in state government for twenty months, making her even less experienced than he, and causing the Republicans to lose their biggest advantage. If a hypothetical President McCain had died in office (he would have been the oldest ever elected) she would have had to take over as president.
In a mea culpa, Schmidt told Chris Matthews that he's sorry about this whole Palin thing — turns out she's a complete "freak show" and has ushered in a slow, painful death for his once-esteemed and respected political party.
 At large
In July 2009, Palin announced her decision to resign from the governorship of Alaska, in order to take up community organizing (irony!) to ready herself for a run for the Presidency in 2012 and begin a career as a Facebook blogger. (That "How's all that hopey-changey stuff working out for ya?" line is an all-time classic). She later decided she wouldn't run, eliciting anguished moans from the political-comedy community.
Palin still has a strong following in the Tea Party movement. It was actually Sarah Palin who accredited the Tea Party's existence to Obama which was, like most things that come out of Sarah Palin's mouth, mindless drivel.
Her initial endorsement of Trump was a doozy; he dragged her out once during the primaries, and she rambled so much that they never let her out again.
 Palin and the "new" feminism
“”The candidate sauntered to the lectern with the assurance of a sleepwalker — and immediately launched into a symphony of snorting and sneering remarks, taking time out in between the superior invective to present herself as just a humble gal with a beefcake husband and a brood of healthy, combat-ready spawn who just happened to be the innocent targets of a communist and probably also homosexual media conspiracy...It was like watching Gidget address the Reichstag.
If, during the election, one had read only GOP-supporting blogs, one might have thought that female voters were flocking to Palin, as a woman who does away with the old feminist views, showing what can be achieved without affirmative action. These people were wrong: the political rally "Alaska Women Reject Palin" was larger than the pro-Palin homecoming rally the week before. Also no one could possibly support anyone who would charge a rape victim for the processing of the "crime scene" analysis known as the "rape kit." That was the policy in Wasilla when Palin was mayor and she did nothing to change the policy.
It also remains inconceivable to some True FeministsTM that a "feminist" can hold the position that women are legally, morally, ethically, intellectually equal to men while still saying that if raped, they must have the rapist's child. That's hardly an equality; hell, it's an oxymoron.
By bringing Trig Palin into the world, chromosome problems and all (a prenatal exam determined Trig had Down syndrome), Sarah's life speaks directly to women who have been told they must decide between having children and having success. What she says is if you are successful and reasonably rich, you can demand that others make their "choices" in the way that you insist are the only "choice."
After the election there was talk that Palin might be under consideration for important posts in the Republican Party in the future. If this happens, American voters should be well aware of what she wants to do.
- Governor of the nation's forty-seventh most populous state for under two years, quitting right as the Great Recession hit (which would have resulted in unpopular tax increases and/or spending cuts).
- Two-term mayor of a town that:
- As of December 2016, she was rumored to be a possible choice to head the Department of Veterans Affairs by strange orange plutocrat/President-elect Donald Trump.
 Foreign policy
- Squinting at Russia across the Bering Strait.
- A trip to Canada
- A stop-over in
Éire Irelandthat place with the green beer.
- A one-year-old passport.
- Spent over $40,000 on clothes from donated GOP money.
- Captain of Wasilla High School state champion basketball team
- Kills moose (squirrel mysteriously omitted from reportage)
- Will pay you to kill wolves from the air
- Ignores books and whitepapers on important topics, in favor of text messages from her "Prayer Warriors"
- Reads every newspaper
- Though she herself is not a member of the Alaskan Independence Party (yes, that's a thing), her husband has been, and she did provide a recorded welcoming to an AIP convention.
- Though she holds no affiliation with "union thugs", her husband is a member of the United Steelworkers union. Get with the program, Todd!
- In what has become known as "Troopergate," she came under investigation in Alaska for abusing her power to get her ex-brother-in-law fired. In keeping with then Bush-Administration policy, Gov. Palin and those connected with her refused to cooperate with the investigation and declined to respond to subpoenas, while the Alaska Attorney General refused to enforce said subpoenas. Additionally, Republicans tried to have the investigation stopped on the grounds that it was a politically motivated attack on Palin, in spite of the fact that the investigation started before McCain had selected her for his running mate. In October, Palin was found to have abused her power as Governor by the investigation, although the state legislators have no power to take formal action against her.
- The Los Angeles Times interviewed a man who said of Palin: "She told me she felt the world would end and she would see Jesus in her lifetime."
- In the not-so-much-ado-about-nothing, category, Ms. Palin inquired about the process for removing books from the town library.
- Also in this category was the media getting punk'd by a bogus "leak" from a non-existent McCain staffer and think tank fellow. On Nov. 12, 2008, the New York Times reported:
“”It was among the juicier post-election recriminations: Fox News Channel quoted an unnamed McCain campaign figure as saying that Sarah Palin did not know that Africa was a continent.
Who would say such a thing? On Monday the answer popped up on a blog and popped out of the mouth of David Shuster, an MSNBC anchor. “Turns out it was Martin Eisenstadt, a McCain policy adviser, who has come forward today to identify himself as the source of the leaks,” Mr. Shuster said.Trouble is, Martin Eisenstadt doesn’t exist. His blog does, but it’s a put-on. The think tank where he is a senior fellow — the Harding Institute for Freedom and Democracy — is just a Web site. The TV clips of him on YouTube are fakes.
- Her unmarried 17-year-old daughter was pregnant, seemingly only to add more problems to her already stressful VP campaign. But it all added to the spin fun. It says a lot about the Republican media machine that a failed VP candidate and governor with an alleged domestic abuser son and a twice-pregnant-out-of-wedlock daughter can be a paragon of conservative values.
- Despite complaining on the campaign trail that her family struggles to pay the bills, as well as claiming to be "an everyday, working-class American," it was reported during the campaign that the Palins are worth at least $1.2 million, and own a plane, a half million dollar lakefront home, and two holiday get-aways.
- She thinks Dino the Dinosaur really did live with early man, 6,000 years ago, right after the earth was made - in, yes, six days.
- She believes that the worst thing that Dick Cheney has ever done is shoot a friend of his during the infamous hunting accident, but to Cheney's credit, Palin totally thinks his friend had it coming for getting in the way of the gun.
- "Sarah Palin's rejection of an invitation to speak at the Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC) in February 2010 is arousing widespread criticism." Allegedly she charges $100,000 per appearance, and won't turn up unless she's paid her thirty pieces of silver.
- Palin did not report the construction of two new cabins on property she partially owns to the local government, and failed to report these new structures for tax purposes. "Palin's attorney, Thomas Van Flein, claims it is not the responsibility of property owners to report structures they build on the land. Dunivan, however, said owners are required by state law to report any omissions or errors in their tax assessments."
- During the Tea Party convention in February 2010, Palin required all questions for the Q&A with the audience after her talk to be pre-screened and pre-selected.
- On 12 January 2011, Palin issued a Facebook “blood libel” video statement, denying her Giffords-in-the-crosshairs attacks could be at fault in the shooting of congresswoman Gabrielle Giffords, while claiming she (Sarah) was the real victim. Yes, she denied that she engaged in cannibalism.
Let's just end it there.Here's the thing: "Blood libel" is a conspiracy theory that Jewish folks have kidnapped some unnamed Russian children and eaten them/drunk their blood. Blood libels, always a lie, were used to justify violence against a town's entire Jewish community via pogroms. Oh, and Gabby Giffords is herself Jewish, so...
 Star of David Necklace
Sadly, Sarah Palin's Jewish problem doesn't end with the "blood libel" remarks. American Jews are by now somewhat used to (but no less displeased with) being fetishised by American Christian Rightists, but Sarah Palin has taken it all the way to cultural appropriation and beyond. There have been many sightings of her flat out wearing the Star of David publicly. The problem is, Sarah Palin isn't Jewish. She has expressed no desire to convert to Judaism, she doesn't participate in the Jewish community, and she has not revealed any Jewish heritage. It's just effed up, Sarah, and it would be really nice if you quit this crap.
Like most high-profile politicians, Sarah Palin isn't free from the occasional conspiracy theory. For example, as the flipside to the Birtherism movement, the Trig Palin birtherism or Trig Truther movement alleges that Trig Palin is actually the son of Sarah Palin's daughter Bristol, and Sarah Palin had claimed him as her own to save face for her then-unwed teenage daughter as well as solidify her pro-life position. Led by blogger Andrew Sullivan and revived in a
genuine academic paper blog post dressed up like an academic paper by an NKU professor, the movement hinges on the fact that Sarah Palin didn't look pregnant in her photos leading up to the birth of Trig, including several showing her with a "really flat stomach."
This is fairly readily dismissed; not every woman swells like a balloon to the point of uncoverability when pregnant, even as late as seven months, and it can be difficult to discern three-dimensions from a two-dimensional photograph (which can be further complicated when you've got reasons to believe something meaningful is there). On top of that, like most conspiratorial cover-ups, a cover-up of that level would require cooperation between a large number of parties from both sides of the political aisle, including journalists and people who would gladly see her reputation crumble, stretching from before her rise to fame. Consider how readily critics and satirists railed against Palin during her peak years for less -- is it reasonable to believe they would readily ignore something so controversial? To quote journalist Steve Quinn, who had confirmed her pregnancy prior to Trig's birth:
“”You can believe that Palin was wearing a pregnancy suit and Hollywood-quality makeup for weeks, all before she had a national profile. You can believe that she fooled all of those journalists with her pregnancy costume, including the AP reporter who literally inspected Palin's belly in her office. You can believe that Palin, and her entire family, and her doctor, and her disgruntled former aide Frank Bailey, have been lying to the press in a tightly organized and mind-bogglingly elaborate conspiracy. You can believe that the medical workers who were involved in Trig's delivery were paid off or have simply kept inexplicably quiet about the hoax... Or you can believe that Trig is Sarah Palin's son.
Another complicating factor involves Bristol Palin herself. Just eight months after Trig's birth, Bristol gave birth to her son, Tripp Johnston, on December 2008. Not only does this put the claim that the cover-up was for Bristol to save face into question as she was still unwed, but it also places very strong doubt on the timeline proposed by the truthers. Despite the shortened window, there is no indication that she had her child prematurely or in some other manner that necessitated cutting the pregnancy short.
 Famous quotes
 by Sarah Palin
- "...where it is the taxpayers looking to bail out. But ultimately, what the bailout does is help those who are concerned about the healthcare reform that is needed to help shore up our economy. Um, helping, oh -- it's got to be all about job creation too. Shoring up our economy, and putting it back on the right track. So healthcare reform and reducing taxes and reining in spending has got to accompany tax reductions, and tax relief for Americans, and trade, we've got to see trade as opportunity, not as a competitive, um, scary thing, but 1 in 5 jobs being created in the trade sector today. We've got to look at that as more opportunity. All of those things under the umbrella of job creation. This bailout is a part of that." - Sarah Palin on the proposed bailout of the financial sector, also first known SNL parody that used the person's exact words.
- "Golly-gee!" - Vice-presidential debate, October 2, 2008
- "Goshdarnnit!" - Vice-presidential debate, October 2, 2008
- "Doggarnnit!" - Vice-presidential debate, October 2, 2008
- "Ubetcha!" - Vice-presidential debate, October 2, 2008
- "I'm not going to answer the questions..." - Vice-presidential debate, October 2, 2008
- "Those are some backassward ways of fixing the economy." - Interview with Barbara Walters, November 17, 2009, on Barack Obama's economic strategies.
- "General McClellan did not say definitively the surge principles would not work in Afghanistan." - Vice-presidential debate, October 2, 2008. (It is unclear why Palin was anxious to heed the advice of General McClellan, particularly after he spectacularly botched the Peninsular Campaign, though it is possible that Palin meant to say General McKiernan.)
- "I can give you examples of things that John McCain has done, that has shown his foresight, his pragmatism, and his leadership abilities. And that is what America needs today." - Palin
- "I'm just going to ask you one more time - not to belabor the point. Specific examples in his 26 years of pushing for more regulation?" - Katie Couric
- "I'll try to find you some and I'll bring them to ya!" - From an interview broadcast in late September 2008.
- "I'm just going to ask you one more time - not to belabor the point. Specific examples in his 26 years of pushing for more regulation?" - Katie Couric
- "As Putin rears his head and comes into the air space of the United States of America, where – where do they go? It's Alaska. It's just right over the border."
- "He who warned uh, the British that they weren't gonna be takin' away our arms, uh by ringing those bells, and um, makin' sure as he's riding his horse through town to send those warning shots and bells that we were going to be sure and we were going to be free, and we were going to be armed." - On Paul Revere's ride
- "Ground Zero Mosque supporters: Doesn't it stab you in the heart, as it does ours throughout the heartland? Peaceful Muslims, please refudiate." - July 18, 2010
- "I would have waived the Indiana Jones Act, and some unions might not like it, not union membership, but the union leaders, too many, who are thugs." - June 26, 2010; at the Oil Palace in Tyler, Texas, USA
- "Shoot, I must have lived such a doggoned sheltered life as a normal, independent American up there in the Last Frontier, schooled with only public education and a lowly state university degree, because obviously I haven't learned enough to dismiss common sense." - June 13, 2010; in opposition to offshore drilling
- "Here's an example of how it wastes some time. To be judged on or to be talked about on appearance - say chest size - it makes me wear layers, it makes me have to waste time figuring out what am I going to wear so that nobody will look in an area that I don't need them to look at." - June 12, 2010
- "Extreme deep water drilling is not the preferred choice to meet our country's energy needs, but your protests and lawsuits and lies about onshore and shallow water drilling have locked up safer areas. It's catching up with you. The tragic, unprecedented deep water Gulf oil spill proves it." - June 2, 2010; blaming environmentalists for oil spills
- "It may be tempting and more comfortable to just keep your head down, plod along, and appease those who demand: 'Sit down and shut up,' but that's the worthless, easy path; that's a quitter's way out." - July 3, 2009; resigning as governor
- "Only dead fish go with the flow." - July 3, 2009; resigning as governor (Jim Hightower published a book in 2008 titled Swim against the Current: Even a Dead Fish Can Go With the Flow.)
- "They are also building schools for the Afghan children so that there is hope and opportunity in our neighboring country of Afghanistan." - October 5, 2008
- "There's a place in Hell reserved for women who don't support other women." - October 4, 2008
- "If I were in charge, they [jihadists] would know that waterboarding is how we'd baptize terrorists." - April 4, 2015
- "Well, and then, funny, ha ha, not funny, but now, what they’re doing is wailing, ‘Well, Trump and his Trumpeters, they’re not conservative enough.’" - January 19, 2016
 Palin's double-entendres, perhaps
- "Polls are for strippers and cross-country skiers." - September 3, 2011; at a Tea Party rally in Iowa
- "I love that smell of the emissions!" - May 29, 2011; at a motorcycle rally
- "John McCain has already tapped me" ... "In that position" ... [I have] "a lot of flexibility in that position"" - Sarah Palin in the televised vice-presidential debate, October 2, 2008 - take that, Cindy!
- "Drill, baby, drill!" - October 2, 2008 VP debate
 about Sarah Palin
- "Lady Thatcher will not be seeing Sarah Palin. That would be belittling for Margaret. Sarah Palin is nuts." - An aide to the first female Prime Minister of the United Kingdom
- "This is what the Republican Party has done to us this year: it has placed within reach of the Oval Office a woman who is a religious fanatic and a proud, boastful ignoramus." - Christopher Hitchens
- "Elitism in this sense is not about educational or class credentials, not about where you went to school or whether you use "summer" as a verb. It is, rather, about the pursuit of excellence no matter where you started out in life. Jackson, Lincoln, Truman, Eisenhower, Johnson, Nixon, Ford, Carter, Reagan and Clinton were born to ordinary families, but they spent their lives doing extraordinary things, demonstrating an interest in, and a curiosity about, the world around them. This is much less evident in Palin's case." - Jon Meacham, Newsweek
- "I think she has pretty thoroughly — and probably irretrievably — proven that she is not up to the job of being president of the United States." - David Frum, conservative writer. Frum believes comparisons to Dan Quayle to be unfair… to Dan Quayle.
- "Caribou Barbie is one nutty puppy." - Maureen Dowd, New York Times
- "What looked like a secret wedding turned out to be a public unraveling as the GOP implosion continued: Sarah wanted everyone to know that she’s not having fun and people are being mean to her and she doesn’t feel like finishing her first term as governor." - Maureen Dowd, New York Times
- "During the presidential campaign, Palin’s deep ignorance about most aspects of foreign and domestic policy provided her with a powerful political reason not to submit to interviews." - Todd S. Purdum, Vanity Fair
- "...George W. Bush and Sarah Palin. They are both semiliterate at best. They both exude self-confidence. And they both claim a direct relationship with God...She is a very, very dangerous person." - Harold Bloom, VICE'
- "...now that we have had a chance to watch her for some seven weeks, I don't believe she's ready to be president of the United States, which is the job of the vice president." - Colin Powell, Meet the Press
- "That woman is an idiot." - Keith Olbermann
 Irony meter
Not unlike so many things in and around the world of fundamentalist Christianity, Ms. Palin launched attacks against Obama that rather push the limits of Irony Tolerance.TM
- On October 5, she began whining about Obama's relationship with his "pal," ex-domestic terrorist Bill Ayers. She neglected to tell the audience that Obama was 8 when Ayers was attacking this country, and that the "palling around" amounted to sitting on a committee together. In making this attack she forgot that she, herself, every night (or thereabouts) is quite literally in bed with someone who, as late as 2001, believed it was critical for Alaska to secede from the Union.
- On October 6, she began attacks about Mr. Obama's preacher, the Rev. Wright, and his political stances, while forgetting that she has a rather reckless, opinionated, witch-hunting, anti-Semitic preacher, Rev. Muthee, in her own church in Wasilla, whom she has credited with helping her to win her governor's post thanks to his laying-on-of-hands and prayers to protect her from "all forms of witchcraft."
- On 31 December 2008, Sarah Palin was "awarded" the 2008 Douchebag of the Year award, by YouTube commentator Stephen Bryce's show "Bored on the Corner." Her likeness was later used on the 2009 Award.
- She was also co-nominated (with Shona Holmes and Betsy McCaughey) for her role in the "death panel"
- She was nominated once again for the 2011 Douchebag of the Year (with the Tea Party Patriots) for their hatemongering, despite that year's shooting of Gabrielle Giffords and her supporters. This is particularly because of Palin's now-infamous "crosshairs" poster, and "blood libel" remarks.
- Sarah, the Barracuda
- (Half-)Baked Alaskan
- Bible Spice
- Caribou Barbie
- The Tundra Twit/Tart
- Sarah Failin'
- Failin' Palin
- Mighty and Glorious Messianic Savior of the Holy Order of the Far Right
- MILF (Moron I'd Like to Forget)
- The Moosiah
- Pit bull in lipstick (according to herself)
- Saint Sarah of Wasilla
- Sarah Punchline
- Joan of Arctic
- The Whore of Babble-on
- Lady Blah-blah
- Vampy, as in "Grampy and Vampy," the 2008 GOP Presidential ticket
- Sarah Stoopid
- Hello Quitty
- The Quitter From Wasilla
- Princess Iquitarod
- Princess Dumbass of the Northwoods
- Money Boo-Boo
- Snowflake Snooki
- Klondike Kardashian
- The Polar Poltroon
- Denali Dingbat
- Post Turtle
- Hi anal rasp
- Has anal rip
- Has air plan
- A sharp nail
- Las piranha
- Sharia plan
- Par à la shin
- Alas, φ ran
- Liar! Ah snap!
- Ran as phail
- I has anal PR
- Anal parish
and so many more...
- Tina Fey's (uncanny) impersonation of Palin won her an Emmy in 2009.
- Hustler produced a series of adult films titled Who's Nailin' Paylin? that featured a character named "Serra Paylin." (Don't watch it, we beg of you.)
- Iron Sky (2012) showed what the world would be like if she was president
 See also
- American Taliban
- Child abuse
- Fractal wrongness
- Geraldine Ferraro
- Gotcha argument
- Joe the Plumber
- Lamestream media
- Lisa Murkowski
- Phyllis Schlafly
 Some wingnuts who got the Sarah Palin Stamp of ApprovalTM
- The Palin Presidency trailer
- Palin's Resignation: The Edited Version, Vanity Fair
- Morbid Curiosity Leading Many Voters To Support Palin, The Onion
- Mortal Combat!
- ↑ http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/sarah-palin/3194405/Sarah-Palin-could-have-been-invented-by-Monty-Python-says-John-Cleese.html
- ↑ Marty Beckerman, "How Sarah Palin Ruined Alaska", The Awl. (“I can see Alaska from my house, lol”)
- ↑ Michael D. Shear and Gardiner Harrisnov, "Trump Wants to ‘Drain the Swamp,’ but Change Will Be Complex and Costly", NYT 9.10.16.
- ↑ "McCain picks female running mate". BBC News (online). August 29, 2008.
- ↑ Mike Allen (August 29, 2008). "Palin dissed veep job". Politico.
- ↑ Hint: what vice presidents do is go to state funerals and try to avoid boredom while waiting for the president to die, or finish a second term so they themselves can run for president. Dick Cheney is the only obvious counter-example.
- ↑ Afarensis (October 27, 2006). "Intelligent Design and the Alaska Governor's Race". Afarensis: Anthropology, Evolution, and Science (blog). Retrieved April 26, 2013.
- ↑ Tom Kizzia (October 27, 2006). "'Creation science' enters the race". Anchorage Daily News. Retrieved April 26, 2013.
- ↑ NBC News Political Unit (August 30, 2008). "Palin's Troopergate". First Read. NBC News (online). Retrieved April 26, 2013.
- ↑ Sean Cockerham (August 14, 2008). "Palin staff pushed to have trooper fired". Walt Monegan firing. Anchorage Daily News. Retrieved April 26, 2013. (That's a different reference for those who don't like NBC/MSNBC.)
- ↑ Here's hoping this article starts shining a little bit of light on the subject--the last thing we need a literal heartbeat away from the Presidency is a ninja dominionist.
- ↑ Quigley, Bernie, "Ted Cruz: The Sarah Palin phenomenon", The Hill (5/30/12 12:41 pm).
- ↑ Klett, Leah Marieann, "Sarah Palin Voices Support For Rand Paul, Says Republican Voters Are 'Idiots' for Marginalizing His Supporters", The Gospel Herald 11.20.15. An idiot calling other idiots idiots. She just increased her chances of being "Doctor" Paul's vice president, you go barracuda.
- ↑ Alan Rappaport and Maggie Habermanjan, "Sarah Palin Endorses Donald Trump, Which Could Bolster Him in Iowa", NYT 1.19.16. Remember, Iowan Republicans picked Rick fucking Santorum last cycle. Palin is probably something of a national hero in their eyes.
- ↑ Barnes, Fred, "The Most Popular Governor", The Weekly Standard 7.16.07.
- ↑ Dan Fagan (March 9, 2008). "Conservatives should heed the call for change in Alaska". Anchorage Daily News. Retrieved April 26, 2013.
- ↑ "Palin E-mails Show Infighting With Staff", CBS 7.1.09.
- ↑ Capeheart, Jonathan, "Steve Schmidt’s brutally honest assessment of Sarah Palin", NYT 3.12.12. Schmidt: "I think the notion of Sarah Palin being president of the United States is something that frightens me, frankly. And I played a part in that because we were fueled by ambition to win."
- ↑ Kopan, Tal, "Schmidt rants against GOP 'asininity'", Politico (09/24/13 06:22 AM EDT, Updated 09/24/13 06:27 PM EDT).
- ↑ Gonyea, Don, "'How's That Hopey, Changey Stuff?' Palin Asks", NPR, (2/7/10 8:04 AM ET, updated 2/8/10 10:20 AM ET).
- ↑ "Sarah Palin says she will not run for president in 2012". BBC News (online). October 5, 2011.
- ↑ Taibbi, "Mad Dog Palin", originally posted in Rolling Stone9/26/08.
- ↑ A blog so poorly written that it has spelling errors in quotations
- ↑ A blog that spells lesbian "Lesbian" even though that would imply they are from Lesbos
- ↑ Snopes on the rally's existence and size
- ↑ George Bryson (September 11, 2008). "Alaska pols: Wasilla charged victims for rape kits". Boston Herald (online).
- ↑ Bill Adair (September 22, 2008). "The Palin 'rape kit' controversy". PolitiFact. Tampa Bay Times.
- ↑ The Associated Press (March 8, 2005). "Troopers dub Mat-Su area the meth capital of Alaska". Juneau Empire (online).
- ↑ Trump considering Sarah Palin to head Veterans Affairs, because this is real life now, Daily Kos
- ↑ http://extratv.warnerbros.com/2008/11/sarah_palins_secrets_leaked.php
- ↑ http://www.bordermail.com.au/news/world/world/general/is-africa-a-continent-palins-true-ignorance-now-revealed/1354593.aspx
- ↑ McCain Picks Alaska's Gov. Sarah Palin For VP Spot
- ↑ Sarah Palin’s Record on Killing Wolves is Brutal
- ↑ Vanity Fair expose on Palin's intellectual vacuity
- ↑ 
- ↑ Alaskan Independence
- ↑ Condon, Stephanie, "Palin Blasts Labor Leader, Calls Conservatism a Better Fit for Union Workers", CBS (9/27/10 9:52 AM)
- ↑ Troopergate story on MSNBC
- ↑ LA times - Jesus to meet Palin in his lifetime
- ↑ Though it should be noted that the "list of books" currently circulating claiming she wanted them banned is a complete fabrication.
- ↑ A Senior Fellow at the Institute of Nonexistence
- ↑ Liz Sidoti, Associated Press writer (September 1, 2008). "Palin says daughter, 17, is pregnant". Fox News (online). Retrieved April 26, 2013.
- ↑ History Of Trouble: Track Palin’s ‘Violent’ Outbursts Exposed
- ↑ Also known as a hockey mom - big smile!
- ↑ At home with the Palins: 'struggling working-class Americans' worth $1.2m
- ↑ Muriel Kane (January 8, 2010), Palin's snub of conservative conference raises many questions, The Raw Story
- ↑ Capital Hill Blue. "Palin failed to report new cabins, pay taxes."
- ↑ In answering one of the questions, she read from notes written on her hand.
- ↑ Sarah Palin's 'blood libel' claim stirs controversy
- ↑ Example 1
- ↑ Example 2
- ↑ Example 3
- ↑ http://www.businessinsider.com/sarah-palin-baby-hoax-2011-4
- ↑ http://www.thenortherner.com/news/2011/04/07/professors-research-ruffles-former-palin-spokesman/
- ↑ http://www.salon.com/2011/04/22/sarah_palin_trig_conspiracy_theory/
- ↑ http://www.foxnews.com/politics/2008/12/29/palins-daughter-gives-birth-son-named-tripp/
- ↑ http://www.latimes.com/news/politics/la-na-onthemedia26-2008sep26,0,7467803.story
- ↑ Taken wildy, at least one would hope, out of context.
- ↑ Daniel Kurtzman, Top 10 Dumbest Sarah Palin Quotes: Idiotic Quotes by Former Alaska Governor Sarah Palin, About.com (Political Humor)
- ↑ Nico Pitney (originally on September 25, 2008; updated on November 3, 2008), Palin Talks Russia With Katie Couric (VIDEO), The Huffington Post
- ↑ Huffington Post - Sarah Palin: 'Waterboarding Is How We'd Baptize Terrorists' If I Were In Charge
- ↑ The New York Times - The Most Mystifying Lines of Sarah Palin’s Endorsement Speech
- ↑ Tim Stanley (June 12, 2011), The Margaret Thatcher-Sarah Palin snub exposes the growing gulf between British and American conservatives, Daily Telegraph (Telegraph Blogs)
- ↑ http://www.slate.com/id/2203120/?wpisrc=newsletter
- ↑ The Palin Problem
- ↑ New York Times article.
- ↑ 67.0 67.1 Now Sarah's Folly
- ↑ It Came from Wasilla
- ↑ http://www.viceland.com/int/v15n12/htdocs/harold-bloom-431.php
- ↑ http://www.nbcnews.com/id/27266223/#.U0YcfFeebMA
- ↑ Press release. "Palin Has Sought to Remove Endangered Species Act Protection for the Polar Bear, Suppressed and Lied About State Global Warming Studies, and Denied That Global Warming Is Caused by Greenhouse Gas Emissions"
- ↑  "Bored on the Corner -- 2008 Douchebag of the Year"
- ↑  "Bored on the Corner -- 2009 Douchebag Nominees"
- ↑  "2011 Douchebag Nominees"
- ↑ snopes on the "post turtle"
- ↑ By Julie Brown, thank you Stephanie Miller. Julie has also recorded an updated version, The Ex-beauty Queen's Got a Gun. "Oh no, I winged a homo!"
- ↑ Drew and Mike Looney tune
- ↑ "http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uimh2EBB1yQ"
- ↑ http://www.nytimes.com/2016/01/20/us/politics/donald-trump-sarah-palin.html?_r=0
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