“”I tell you, the shit doesn't fall far from the bat.
|—Bill Maher on Rand Paul|
Randal Howard "Aqua Buddha" Paul (born 1963) is the son of U.S. Representative Ron Paul, junior Senator from Kentucky, and 2016 Republican nomination candidate. On 18 May 2010, registered Republicans in Kentucky nominated Rand to run for the U.S. Senate seat that was being vacated by former Cincinnati Reds pitcher Jim "Brushback" Bunning. By profession, Rand Paul is a non-board certified ophthalmologist.
 True political leanings
While both Pauls are registered Republicans, both are actually paleolibertarians at heart. However, while the senior Paul continues to identify himself as a libertarian, Rand has expressed the wish that the Tea Party was an actual party so that he could leave the GOP and join them.
However, there is some question about whether Rand Paul shares his father's libertarian views on foreign policy, given that he campaigned in 2010 as a hawk on the War on Terror, in particular calling for Guantanamo detainees to be tried in military tribunals rather than civilian courts, a moratorium on travel visas from so-called "terrorist nations," opposing Constitutional protections for accused foreign terrorists, and supporting construction of military bases on the U.S. border. However Dick Cheney and other neocons still don't trust him and think he is "not one of us," which is enough to have at least some libertarians excitedly foaming about his candidacy. Plus, he thinks the United States is a "Christian nation" and it's the basis of the country's laws.
On the issue of same-sex marriage, Paul takes a states rights approach, personally opposing same-sex marriage but believing that states should decide for themselves on how to approach the issue. He expressed approval for the Supreme Court decision striking down Section 3 of the Defense of Marriage Act, but also appeared after said ruling on Glenn Beck's show and expressed concern that same-sex marriage would lead to bestiality.
It seems that Rand shares his father's neo-Confederate sympathies. One of his former aides and close associates is Jack Hunter, an ex-shock jock who advocates racial pride and has lauded the assassination of Abraham Lincoln. In addition to that, a Senate candidate from North Carolina whom Rand endorses has ties to the League of the South.
As if all that wasn't enough, Rand, like his father, is for shrinking the federal government's power, is a firm advocate of state rights (as previously noted), and is against the War on Drugs demanding it end. However, In a defining moment of hypocrisy on all those issues, Rand supported a Republican crafted bill that, according to a committee report could be used to force the federal government to crack down, among many other questionable things, on states where marijuana has been legalized.
Such behavior shows that Rand certainly isn't a genuine libertarian. He, like his dad, is more accurately a vulgar libertarian.
 From anti-government bureaucracy to anti-private-organization bureaucracy
One month after his nomination, Dr. Paul started ducking questions about his board certification. Or, more precisely, his lack thereof. It seems that Rand's supposedly staunch libertarianism foments just as much animosity towards the perceived intrusiveness of private professional organizations as it does towards the perceived intrusiveness of the government.
In 1999, he helped create the now-defunct National Board of Ophthalmology — which is not recognized by the American Board of Medical Specialties — so that he and his fellow ophthalmologists could get recertified without all the
rigor bureaucratic red tape of that nasty, stodgy old American Board of Ophthalmology. Paul is also a member of the Association of American Physicians and Surgeons (AAPS), a fringe group of conservative quacks that denies the link between HIV and AIDS and claims that Barack Obama won the presidency through some form of mind control. They're also the generous providers of Andrew Schlafly's wingnut welfare.
 His mouth runneth over
It seems that diarrhea of the mouth runs in the Paul family. Remember that in 1992, after the riots in Los Angeles that followed the Rodney King verdict, Papa Paul wrote in one of his newsletters that the rioting only stopped when the rioters left to pick up their welfare checks. Baby Paul seems determined to outdo Papa Paul in the crazy comment department. Consider some of the comments that he made within a few days of winning of the nomination:
- On May 11th, 2011, Rand Paul stated that a right to health care equals slavery for health care workers, since you now "have a right to come to my house and conscript me" and "have a right to beat down my door with the police, escort me away and force me to take care of you."
- During the weekend before he was nominated, Rand said he wouldn't mind seeing a repeal of the Americans With Disabilities Act (ADA) because it was unfair to businesses.
- After winning the nomination, Rand told interviewers Rachel Maddow of MSNBC and Robert Siegel of NPR that the Civil Rights Act of 1964 should never have been passed. He later backtracked, telling people that he was not a racist. Again, he just thought that the Act was harmful to businesses. (But, Rand, if those comments don't reflect who you really are, why did you hold your victory party at an "exclusive" country club?)
- He's since been trying to frame himself as one of the only minority-friendly politicians in the GOP, leading to giggles all round.
- A few days later, Rand chastised President Obama for his "anti-business" criticism of BP's piss-poor handling of the volcano of oil and natural gas that they created in the Gulf of Mexico.
- And then he told an interviewer that there would be no need for laws if everybody was a Christian. Specifically, "I see that Christianity and values is the basis of our society... 98% of us won’t murder people, won’t steal, won’t break the law and it helps a society to have that religious underpinning."
- More on the BP oil volcano, Rand thought that people should stop playing the blame game because, well, shit happens.
And all that, folks, happened in just one week — which is a shame because that same week he canceled what would have been a lulzy interview on NBC's Meet the Press after he had promised to come. According to reporter Domenico Montanaro, Rand was only the third "major guest" in the show's 63 year history to cancel.
In 2015, Rand, a medical doctor, mind you, revealed his startling ignorance on the topic of vaccines, lending some support to the "theory" that they cause autism. Surprise, surprise. In April of the same year, he blamed "the lack of fathers and the lack of morals" for the unrest in Baltimore, Maryland[wp], while his own son was just arrested for drunk driving FOR THE THIRD TIME. Psychological projection much?
 Rand Paul v. Obama
After the Edward Snowden NSA leaks, Rand Paul went into stopped clock mode and filed a class-action lawsuit again Barack Obama, claiming that the NSA's metadata gathering program is unconstitutional, and should be stopped with all archives deleted. The suit has currently (January 2015) been stayed pending the result of a similar lawsuit.
- The Fable of Rand Paul, The New York Times
- The GOP’s libertarian time bomb: Why “going Rand” would be an electoral disaster, Salon
- Please, please!
- ↑ Bill Maher Describes Rand Paul: It's As If Sarah Palin Made It Through Med School, Huffington Post
- ↑ Who Is Aqua Buddha?, The New Yorker
- ↑ 
- ↑ 4.0 4.1 Rand Paul has another problem
- ↑ "Rand Paul: Convict and lock up terrorists in Guantanamo"
- ↑ Lew Rockwell alert
- ↑ Rand Paul in '08: Beware the NAFTA Superhighway, TPM
- ↑ Rand Paul All Right With 'Neutral' Federal Gay Marriage Law, Huffington Post
- ↑ Rand Paul on Gay Marriage: GOP Needs to 'Agree to Disagree', ABC
- ↑ Post-DOMA, Rand Paul Fears Humans Marrying Non-Humans, MSNBC
- ↑ Rand Paul: Questions About Neo-Confederate Ex-Aide a ‘Bunch of Crap’, ABC
- ↑ Rand Paul-Backed GOP Senate Candidate Held Rally With Secessionist Group, Mother Jones
- ↑ https://www.congress.gov/113/crpt/hrpt377/CRPT-113hrpt377.pdf
- ↑ http://www.rawstory.com/rs/2014/03/rand-paul-backs-bill-that-could-lead-to-crack-down-on-states-where-voters-legalized-weed/
- ↑ Rand Paul's ophthalmology certification not recognized by national clearinghouse, Louisville Courier-Journal
- ↑ The image of Laurence Olivier taking a dental drill to Dustin Hoffman in Marathon Man may now be supplanted by the image of Rand Paul taking a laser scalpel to someone's eyes in Bowling Green. Please, Dr. Paul, just don't ask "Is it safe?"
- ↑ Rand Paul part of AAPS doctors' group airing unusual views, Louisville Courier-Journal
- ↑ Does Racism Run in the Paul Family?, AOL
- ↑ Let's just hope Rand isn't exhibiting signs of the daddy complex that Obama's predecessor had.
- ↑ Rand Paul: If You Believe In A Right To Health Care, ‘You Believe In Slavery’, ThinkProgress
- ↑ Rand Paul Wants To Abolish The Americans With Disabilities Act, Citing Fairness ‘To The Business Owner’, ThinkProgress
- ↑ Interview on Rachel Maddow Show, broadcast on May 19, 2010.
- ↑ Rand Paul's Audacious Outreach, National Journal
- ↑ Likely a code word for "socialist."
- ↑ Rand Paul: Obama Sounds 'Un-American' For Criticizing BP Over Gulf Oil Spill, Huntington Post
- ↑ Rand Paul: We Wouldn't Need Laws If Everyone Were Christian, Religion Dispatches
- ↑ The Rand Paul Quote Everybody's Ignoring, Huffington Post
- ↑ Rand Paul cancels Meet the Press, NBC
- ↑ http://www.politico.com/story/2015/02/rand-paul-vaccines-114845.html?hp=l2_3
- ↑ Rand Paul Blames 'Lack of Fathers' for Baltimore Unrest—But His Own Son Was Just Arrested for Drunk Driving
- ↑ Rand Paul's son cited for DUI after car crash
- ↑ US senator sues President Obama to stop NSA metadata dragnet
- ↑ If the Supreme Court tackles the NSA in 2015, it’ll be one of these five cases