Values Voter Debate 2007

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On September 17th, 2007, at the Values Voter Debate, a bunch of far-right conservatives who have no shot at the nomination (except maybe Huckabee) got together to congratulate each other on being intolerant, and to praise Phyllis Schlafly.

We learn two things, here:

  1. First, what happens when you cordon a group of politicians off from the mainstream American public? Well, they become more and more extreme, to the point that they conflate "Christian love" with supporting discrimination against homosexuals... in the name of freedom.
  2. And second? What is a Values Voter candidate, specifically? Apparently, whatever they are, they are all indistinguishable from each other. All answer the same to the same questions (with the exception of Ron Paul), and almost unanimously in the farther-right direction. So, to support "Family Values," you must be a fundamentalist Christian.

And we ask one question: debate, or propaganda?

Gems from the Debate[edit]

  1. One no-name candidate admits that Iraq was all about oil... but ends with, "So we've got to get that oil pumping!" Missing the point, much?
  2. Brownback wants to take down Iran.
  3. Stopping regulation of the airlines would've prevented 9/11/01 (8:21 PM EST).
  4. Ambassador Keyes says that the fight against terrorism is just as important, and based on the same principle, as the fight against abortion (since both result in the deaths of innocent lives) (8:23 PM EST).
  5. Keyes also says that not praying enough will cause our downfall. Submission is key (8:24 PM EST).
  6. Ron Paul submits that Christianity compels the concept of just war (ius belli). What's he doing on this stage? He sounds normal (8:27 PM EST)!
  7. The great "I'm from a smaller town/farm/congregation than you are" contest begins with Sam Brownback talking about his conversion and salvation. Augustine of Hippo found religion in a garden, after hours of exegetical study and spiritual wrestling. Brownback... while he was tending to the cows (8:27 PM EST).
  8. Phyllis Schlafly, aka "the Elder Vampire," comes on at 8:35 PM EST to denounce any concept of playing politely with other countries.
  9. John Cox says that Phyllis gives him "comfort at night," and slips in an insult against Obama and Hillary. Because that's what family values are, to Republicans (8:37 PM EST).
  10. Ron Paul (a.k.a. "America for Americans") hates the United Nations, and, perhaps, everything but America (8:40 PM EST).
  11. If America is losing its sovereignty, it's only because we've turned our backs on "Almighty God." Thank you, Ambassador Keyes (8:42 PM EST).
  12. The Emperor of the Free Congress Foundation (some jerk) hates gays (8:43 PM EST). So does Alan Keyes, who has a gay daughter. Gay families are unnatural, apparently. Why? Because they're not procreative. So, unless you're having babies, you better get a divorce.
  13. Why is the American Army the best around? Well, because we don't have gays. They also will pollute the Boy Scouts (two RationalWiki editors feel like handing in their Eagle Scout badge right about now) (8:46 PM EST). Also, as Ron Paul notes, gays are "forcing themselves on us," as is anyone who partakes of affirmative action (8:47 PM EST).
  14. Also, Brownback thinks that hate crime laws will prevent him from "speaking his mind" about how evil homosexuals are. Apparently, "speaking his mind" means criminal activity...? (8:48 PM EST).
  15. Homosexuality = Bestiality. So Sayeth John Cox (8:49 PM EST).
  16. Huckabee thinks that the concept of the heterosexual family unit is zero-sum with the same-sex family unit. So every time a man kisses a man, or a woman a woman, a husband and wife divorce (?) (8:51 PM EST).
  17. Between 8:51 and 8:59 PM EST: multiculturalism is destroying America. Judges who outlaw school prayer should be impeached. No federal funding should go to anyone who grants an abortion or encourages it.
  18. Most of 9:00 through 9:16 PM EST consisted of softballs, "would you have saved Terri Schiavo," etc. ...which you'll be surprised to know is still an issue.
  19. Embryos are human, and if you disagree that embryos deserve the same protection, well, then you hate 2-year old adorable babies (9:19 PM EST).
  20. EVERY SINGLE "Values Voter" candidate believes that intelligent design advocates who are denied tenure face this result because of discrimination; not bad science. See our full article here (9:20 PM EST).
  21. A "formerly" gay man talks about his dedication to his lovely wife Irene (who probably ain't gettin' any). ALL Values Voter candidates would close schools that teach that being gay is okay... thus supporting bigotry, hatred, and misunderstanding. We dissect reparative therapy - or at least Conservapedia's treatment of it - here. All values voters also support abstinence-only programs, which are dissected here (9:20-23 PM EST).
  22. All Values Voter candidates would also give the green light to discriminating against homosexuals. Too bad this would run afoul of Romer v. Evans (9:25 PM EST).

...and the beat goes on.

See also[edit]