Conservapedia talk:What is going on at CP?

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Slavery in the UK[edit]

Alright Ken, as you are so averse to the truth and block anyone who calls you out on your bullshit I will post it here for all to see. It is well known that user:Conservative triumphs the immigration of Eastern European Christians to The UK to combat it's atheism problem. He then publishes a a news story about slavery in the UK. Here are the names of some people who have been convicted of these offenses.

  • Sebastian Mandzik
  • Robert Majewski
  • Pawel Majewski
  • Seweryn Szmyt.

Notice a pattern here? That's right, they, and the vast majority of other slavers are from Eastern European Christian nations that Conservative champions. All this in a week where another of his champions, Roy Moore said the USA was better off before the emancipation and stated his wish to abolish a number of amendments, including The Thirteenth. I say again Conservative, you should do your research. Remember "Pro-Sodomite Sluts And Whores". --Mercian (talk) 14:04, 18 December 2017 (UTC)

"the vast majority of other slavers are from Eastern European Christian nations?" lolwut? London Grump (talk) 21:42, 18 December 2017 (UTC)
I should have said "a large number of". My words were poorly chosen. I am anti Brexit to be clear and do not think Eastern Europeans are any better or worse than any other people. The fact is that there are criminals all over and those from Eastern Europe and other places are able to con people that they will have a utopian life in the UK when they often do not.--Mercian (talk) 09:37, 19 December 2017 (UTC)

Conservative goes on a bizarre two day tirade trashing Britain and linking its shortcomings to Darwinism[edit]

Earlier this year I posted this on Rob Smith's talkpage after he trashed The NHS[1] Now oversited of course, but in response Conservative posted some very nasty articles in the region of Atheism and Cancer/Godless Britain and cancer. I thought he was disturbed and was just attention seeking. I have changed my mind. I now think he posts these things because he is a heartless bastard of a troll.--Mercian (talk) 11:48, 22 December 2017 (UTC)

Tell me now that he is not trolling
--Mercian (talk) 14:58, 22 December 2017 (UTC)
Mercian, there is no end of people who will cheer when you weep. Or fall down the stairs, or lose your job, or fuck-sake, get a dire diagnosis. These are tiny, little men, with tiny, little souls, and they want to remake the world in their simply tiny worldview, with no room for the 'other'. I went to church with these people. I was the kind of kid that asked questions about idiot doctrine (Cain's Wife? Lot's incest? Animals on islands? Meteor craters?) and the price I paid was to be pelted with gravel by my fellow Sunday School students, week after week. There's a very nice scar juuust in my left eyebrow from a particularly good strike by the biggest piece of shit in the group, who also happened to be our pastor's son. When my mother brought her blood-gushing boy into the pastor's office, the pastor said he was troubled not by the boys who'd stoned me but by my actions - my airing of doubts in Sunday School. My mother got in trouble that day because she hadn't been keeping me in line, that I'd probably been perusing some forbidden cultural item (read: all popular culture) that had corrupted me.
These people get off on controlling you, on subjecting you to their power. That's their joy in life, and it fills with me sorrow that this is the case, but I've grown to accept it and do what I can to protect myself. Most days I'm lucky, some days I'm not. On the days I'm lucky, I try to help those who aren't. On the days I'm not, I know I've got good people who are. And so we keep each other up, pushing against the machine, the bleeding hearts and the artists making their stand. I'm sorry that shitposting mound of misery got to you. Semipenultimate (talk) 16:58, 22 December 2017 (UTC)
Thank you Semipenultimate.--Mercian (talk) 18:01, 22 December 2017 (UTC)
Always welcome Mercian. Semipenultimate (talk) 21:48, 22 December 2017 (UTC)
It is awful how your mum and yourself were treated. It is hard for a Brit to understand such behaviour from Christians. British Christians can occasionally be a little judgemental but have more of a "come and have a cup of tea and a slice of cake" attitude. What really got to me were the people who defended Roy Moore because Joseph married the minor Mary or when Andy Schlafly appeared to excuse Moore's crimes because they happened years ago. I have seen people use the Bible to vilify homosexuality/etc but never before to defend paedophilia.--Mercian (talk) 22:01, 22 December 2017 (UTC)
Why wouldn't they though? The bible was originally written in a time when such things were considered normal. GrammarCommie (talk) 22:05, 22 December 2017 (UTC)
I don't know if any of you have ever had a loved one die of cancer, but odds are, you have. And when someone you love is afflicted with cancer, and you're caring for them, it can eat the heart right out of you if you're not careful. So support groups exist for caretakers, not just for those directly facing down Big C. The group I was in cut across class and race lines, and boy howdy, is there a vast difference in this country between the way the rich and poor get treated for cancer.
The lucky ones had great insurance and homes that had been going up in value year after year for 2-3 decades. They'd come in, tell their story. Had some strange pain, saw Doctor #1, then #2, then the Onco, and now their loved one is getting a good heavy chemo dose. Maybe 2-3 weeks. Of course they were also now living from savings, because only one of them could work and the other one was taking FMLA time, which is unpaid, so no income, regardless. End result: the middle class eats their retirement savings to provide healthcare for themselves.
The unlucky ones were stuck with bad insurance or no insurance and so were stuck with the county hospital. Four weeks to see Doctor #1. Another few weeks to see Doctor #2. Another few weeks to see the Onco. Another few weeks to get your biopsy done. Story after story: "It was two months before I started to get treatment." "Twelve weeks from the first visit to chemo." "the hospital confused my file and there was another month gone." "I saw the wrong doctor and they had to reschedule a month out." "My day care fell through and I couldn't go." "My bus was late and they reassigned my spot." Again and again and again this happened. Nobody, and I mean nobody, had a good thing to say about the quality of services made available to the poor or in-need. For these people, two months of waiting is on the low side with respect to waiting time.
Now, to address the cowards posting out of reach of their victims. Please know, I'll never edit a word you say. I might correct your phrasing in a reply back to you without the weasel words, but I won't delete or alter your content, unlike the mass censorship of ideas unacceptable to Andrew Schalfly's delicate fucking sensibilities (like the careful scrubbing just recently done of any of the 'Boy Roy Moore sure gonna win' content - your slip is showing, Andy). This is not a calling out, and there's no fucking debate here, so put your hard-on away, Cons. Just making a point.
When the Berlin Wall was built, it put the lie to all the flowery language the Commies used about their rotten little system. Anyone could see that their words were wind, their stated motivations false, and their hidden motives made incredibly obvious. So too it goes with Conservapedia, where only Conservapedians may speak, and even then, not freely... and Rationalwiki, where both Conservapedians and Rationalwikians may speak freely. Draw your own conclusions. Feliz Navidad. Semipenultimate (talk) 22:32, 22 December 2017 (UTC)
My treatment was quick, 11 days from diagnosis to operation, so that dispels Ken "I got the power" point.[2]. He also accuses us of having less machismo than someone called Heather Wilson. Not that it is your business Ken, and it is not something I shout about (I have never mentioned it on this wiki) but I was part of the First Gulf War, Bosnia and 3 tours of Northern Ireland. What have you done but spiel hate from your mother's basement? Machismo indeed--Mercian (talk) 22:47, 22 December 2017 (UTC)
Sorry, if he can't bother to walk over here to say it, I'm not reading it. Fucksakes, he's obviously already here reading it. What's the point of him replying to our comments here in a place where nobody he's talking to can reply? Oh, right, he's a bullying shite who only talks on wikis where he has absolute power. Semipenultimate (talk) 23:17, 22 December 2017 (UTC)
Apologies for butting in, but I know Ken's reading, so I'd just like to point him to Voodoo Ray by A Guy Called Gerald. Carry on. Helena Bonham Carter (talk) 23:10, 22 December 2017 (UTC)
Loved that record.--Mercian (talk) 23:24, 22 December 2017 (UTC)
Ken, by the way I have noticed you have acknowledged that you are called Ken, here is a thing about me not being a US Navy Seal, I am not an American. --Mercian (talk) 14:48, 23 December 2017 (UTC)
Thank you Joaquín. This is another instance of him opening his mouth without thinking but in a twisted way he is correct. Britain has been involved in too many wars since 1990 but in all that time the greatest operational (not accidental) loss of life in a single incident was when an USAF A-10 attacked a British Army column killing 9 soldiers.--Mercian (talk) 15:38, 24 December 2017 (UTC)
Believe me Cons, we already know that your vision of the future is a boot stamping on an atheist face forever. You say it many times, and many different ways, over and over again! But far be it from me to discourage you from doing what it takes to get stimulated. Just make sure to loosen the belt right before you come; you wouldn't want to go like David Carradine did. Semipenultimate (talk) 22:48, 24 December 2017 (UTC)
Deleted. Machismo indeed. Olé, olé, olé!
Atheists and genetic mutations
I admit that he got to me so I shared it with my friends on Facebook. A friend of mine replied "Merry Xmas Mercian. We all know the term American Conservative is another way of saying he's a bellend :) and I bet he's jingling all the way in his gimp mask while fitting his but plug and nappy.(Diaper)"--Mercian (talk) 00:50, 25 December 2017 (UTC)

Mercian, mate, why on earth are you engaging with this half-whit? Ajkgordon (talk) 09:11, 17 January 2018 (UTC)

A festive poem shared by a prominent Conservapedian[edit]

Mr. Militant Atheist is a super freak mutant atheist

Mr. Militant Atheist is a super freaky mutant atheist.

He's the kind religious girls don't take home to mother.

He's the kind to scowl at your mother's picture of Jesus.

He's a super freak, super freak,

He's super freaky, super freak, super freak.

Mr. Militant Atheist is a super freak.

That guy is pretty wild now.

The guy's a super freak.

He's a super freak, super freak,

He's super freaky, super freak, super freak.

Merry Christmas everybody:)--Mercian (talk) 11:40, 25 December 2017 (UTC)
I have just read that while listening to Rick James' "Super Freak" and I can honestly say that the version above is an utterly shite parody. Anyway, Ken, you've revealed that you've been listening to a song celebrating casual sex and cunnilingus with a video designed to give you a woody. If you were one of Andy's students and he knew you'd been doing that, he'd be obliged to whoop your ass in an attempt to save your immortal soul. Spud (talk) 12:34, 25 December 2017 (UTC)
I have just seen this.Conservapedia:Debating Kendoll Is it really true that this "person" deprived a charity $20,000 dollars because he was too cowardly to debate? And I let him get me. What a loser, many good people give up their time to to earn a few dollars $ for charity whilst this person turned down 20 grand because he did not want to lose face. So much for Christianity and charity.--Mercian (talk) 14:21, 26 December 2017 (UTC)
Danth's Law in action.
My dear Conservative, again I urge you to do your homework before you post because you have walked right into this one. You all but declared victory and pronounced me beaten. During the Korean War Douglas MacArthur all but declared victory and pronounced North Korea beaten. What happened next was that MacArthur got his behind kicked to such an extent that he campaigned to use nuclear weapons and was considered so unstable that Harry Truman had to sack him.--Mercian (talk) 23:31, 26 December 2017 (UTC)
P.S.S. You are beaten. I would beat you more, but at this juncture, I do not wish to beat a dead horse
Keyboard warrior analyzing the tactics of the 101st Chairborne Division. Born to type, not serve.
Yeah I am beaten. You have thrown the proverbial acid in my face, Vox Day will be proud of you. I stand in shame, instead of being beaten by a man of honour I have been flogged (I guess as you are one with the gimp mask and butt plug you do enjoy a flogging) by a man who is anti "sodomite sluts and whores" who spent most of last night over-siting lies and bullshit.
I submit to your superiority. Oh, if you do not get sarcasm, this is it.--Mercian (talk) 14:17, 27 December 2017 (UTC)
PS, I went to the outpatients today and I have been cancer free for 6 months, I am cured. Unfortunately for you there is [3].--Mercian (talk) 14:24, 27 December 2017 (UTC)
Ken, the fact that you need to cite your own "essays" to prove your case rather than peer reviewed journals is a sign of how little you can prove. Comrade GC (talk) 14:29, 27 December 2017 (UTC)

Ken is correct when he says that the US led UN force and South Korea came out on top. This was due to General Matthew Ridgway taking command, in my opinion one of the best General Officers in modern history. MacArthur was a good administrator, he did a good job helping to rebuild and reshape Japan after WW2 but he was a poor general. That period had more than it's fair share of prima-donna commanders, most notably Montgomery and Patton but unlike MacArthur these two gentleman were actually good at their job. He is also correct in his assessment that I served neither as a commissioned officer or as special forces. I did serve though. Ken can make some good points, in some ways he is more rational and reasonable than other CP editors. Although he supports Trump he does not regard him as being beyond reproach like Andy does. He objected to Northwest's idea that The Democratic Party should be banned creating a de-facto one party state and then he loses it. This can be observed in the screenshot above. --Mercian (talk) 17:14, 27 December 2017 (UTC)

1990s guy, I'm not JohnZ, but apologies for mistaking you. --Mercian (talk) 19:11, 27 December 2017 (UTC)
In fairness, Northwest is a complete fucktard. 2600:387:5:802:0:0:0:87 (talk) 03:00, 29 December 2017 (UTC)
Essay:British atheist acknowledges the reasonableness of a User:Conservative editor
Main Page Right

Congratulations, Mercian. You made the headlines on Main Page Right and got your own Ken essay. He's a troll and you fed him... London Grump (talk) 08:40, 31 December 2017 (UTC)

User:Joaquín Martínez asked for it[edit]


This is a svg(raphic), much of the information is linked in it and can be viewed by mouse-over. To enjoy the full experience, you have to look at

Happy New Year, larron (talk) 23:29, 5 January 2018 (UTC)

I think it would be cool to see a chart of banned users to new active users that year. БaбyЛuigiOнФire(T|C) 16:39, 6 January 2018 (UTC)
I don't think so: from the graphic you can see that more than 70% of all edits were made by just 10 editors, so it is a group blog of an odd mix of true believers and venerated parodists with a steady influx of less successful trolls/parodists/vandals.
I'm aware that CP is just a couple of presidential tweets away from becoming an internet sensation (luckily Andy isn't able to suck up to the Donald on twitter...), but until then, I won't produce more stats.
--larron (talk) 21:46, 6 January 2018 (UTC)
What about a chart showing which CP articles got the most page views in 2017? It would show what on CP got the most attention in the Trump era, compared to just many edits by the registered editors. (talk) 02:48, 7 January 2018 (UTC)
How to you propose to gather this data? --larron (talk) 08:10, 7 January 2018 (UTC)
That's the question. Since the bottom of CP's articles shows the total page views, is there a way to find how many total page views for all the pages was on 1/1/2017 and 12/31/2017 and then compare the difference (or just the later date for pages created in 2017)? (talk) 00:42, 8 January 2018 (UTC)
If you are interested in only a few pages, you can use the wayback machine: Here, e.g.,, you can calculate that the top-billed article on the 2nd LoT was viewed less than 41 times a day over the last year. --larron (talk) 11:07, 8 January 2018 (UTC)
The problem is that the page count does not exclude bots or other CP editors. I strongly suspect that the cp:Donald Trump achievements articles are viewed by 1990sguy and the bot and maybe a few rationalwiki visitors. One can't help but wonder if 1990sguy is a very dedicated parodist. Hclodge (talk) 11:44, 17 February 2018 (UTC)
How was this chart made?—(((CheeseburgerFace)))Spinning-Burger.gif (talkstalk) 02:52, 7 January 2018 (UTC)
The very short version: I looked up the data via the api and came up with some R programs. Here are some details. -- larron (talk) 08:10, 7 January 2018 (UTC)

Conservapedia proven right.[edit]

How does this work exactly?. I have noticed a few times that Andy posts a "Conservapedia proven right" headline although there was no such prediction on the relevant page, unless Andy adds it afterwards.--Mercian (talk) 18:39, 14 January 2018 (UTC)

OK now fuck[edit]

Never visit here anymore. But fuck. Guy is fucked. Acei9 07:09, 3 February 2018 (UTC)

At the risk of giving Ken more masturbatory material, I must add a comment. The CP Alexa/SEO/Google-bomb expert doesn't seem to know that the bold words in his Google suggestion list are merely a record of his past search predicates. He is the only person on Earth to see "atheists eat babies meme" as a suggestion. Presuming one doesn't click on the link, "atheists eat" will leave Google at a total loss for possible suggestions. It's as if it's wondering, "what is this sick fuck on about?" Whoover (talk) 08:24, 6 February 2018 (UTC)
Horrible bias. A balanced encyclopedia article would have focused upon the Donner Party in American history instead of those foreign countries. Hclodge (talk) 11:29, 17 February 2018 (UTC)


i like how the lamestream media doesnt mention 666 has a link leading to a USA today headline prominently displaying 666. AMassiveGay (talk) 13:22, 10 February 2018 (UTC)

Karajou perfectly describes User: Conservative in his latest rant[edit]

Uncanny[4]--Mercian (talk) 10:50, 19 February 2018 (UTC)

I'm impressed that he's retarded enough not to recognize ex-Navy SEAL copypasta. 2600:387:5:806:0:0:0:42 (talk) 03:15, 20 February 2018 (UTC)
I love the "the President is pissed that the Feds never followed up on the Parkland shooter" comment, with the implication that now they'll be following up on people who comment on an obscure wiki. It's "Call the FBI!" all over again. LongLostLegend (talk) 12:33, 21 February 2018 (UTC)
Conservapedia are responsible for the recent drop in NFL popularity so they do have considerable influence.--Mercian (talk) 21:25, 21 February 2018 (UTC)
I think that CTE is responsible for the drop in both NFL popularity and youth participation in tackle football. If anything, I think that NFL football is too politically correct. It emphasizes adherence to the rules, no flamboyant displays after touchdowns, in general being patriotic and honoring the military, and in general keeping politics out of the sport. In contrast, a close supporter of the President is relaunching the XFL, which promises more entertainment than the NFL. (Perhaps they will show CT scans of the players' brains with a laugh-track edited in.) It will be interesting to see if Conservapedia is anti-professional football, pro-XFL, or just neutral on football in general. Hclodge (talk) 21:40, 21 February 2018 (UTC)

Billy Graham[edit]

I thought Andy would mourn Mr Graham but he seems to have ignored his death. I don't know a lot about him but I wonder if Andy considered him liberal. Perhaps there was too much love and forgiveness in his speeches and not enough hate and condemnation.--Mercian (talk) 13:37, 22 February 2018 (UTC)

Too much love and forgiveness by Conservapedian standards. London Grump (talk) 21:22, 23 February 2018 (UTC)
There is a very simple test for a religious leader to be acceptable to CP: did he (and it must be a he) send condolences to the Schlafly family upon the death of Phyllis. Hclodge (talk) 07:19, 6 March 2018 (UTC)

Karajou's gun recognition.[edit]

Sorry to post again but I had to respond to this one. Hey Karajou, on the left of your photo the guns are.

  • 1: AK series assault rifle.
  • 2: M16/AR15.
  • 3: Uzi
  • 4: FN P90.
  • 5: Barrett 82A1 sniper rifle
  • 6: Not sure of the Daisy, perhaps a toy.
  • 7: A toy.
  • 8: RPG 7.
  • 9:This actually is a Glock.
  • 10: Mark 3 Ford Cortina AKA The Dagenham Dustbin( I owned one of these as a teenager)

Up Yours. --Mercian (talk) 19:19, 23 February 2018 (UTC)

Karajou wants to fault liberals on gun recognition. I'd rather fail at gun recognition than at reading comprehension, which is his obvious weakness (well, just one of them, really). The square root symbol drawn by one kid led to another kid joking about 'let's get to work before I shoot you with a pistol'. That dumbass 'joke' got spread around school, and tensions being what they are, somebody 'sa(id) something', the police got involved, investigated, and found no credible threat. Nobody called the cops because someone drew a square root sign. Nobody thought the math symbol was threatening. The kid who drew the symbol didn't get investigated. No charges were filed, nobody had their guns grabbed. Jokes about shooting people in school are less welcome than bomb jokes to the TSA guy patting you down at the airport right now, especially with the shit coming down on the FBI and local Florida law enforcement for not doing 'something' about Cruz after they had been tipped off about him.
To recap: dumbass kid makes a dumbass joke about shooting someone in school, days after a mass school shooting. The joke/threat is reported to law enforcement, who find no credible threat. The kid still has some stink on him, though, since new school guidelines are for zero tolerance for threats of violence. Think Karajou would be so sanguine about a brown kid joking about bombing a church or some such? What a tool.--Martin Arrowsmith (talk) 17:24, 25 February 2018 (UTC)
Also, #7 is a Vulcan EBF-25, which actually is fully automatic. And the Daisy is probably meant to be a Red Ryder.--Martin Arrowsmith (talk) 17:36, 25 February 2018 (UTC)
you could probably recognise most guns if you play call of duty or watch the a lot of hollywood blockbusters. the fetishisation of firearms like karajou is doing is front and centre there AMassiveGay (talk) 11:43, 26 February 2018 (UTC)

New Insight From Andy's Capacious Orifice[edit]

"Most people who believe in the theory of evolution inevitably have bouts of depression." Whoover (talk) 04:14, 26 February 2018 (UTC)

a quote from Peep show 'i'd be happy too if i believed in nonsense' AMassiveGay (talk) 11:39, 26 February 2018 (UTC)
"Most...inevitably" I'm not sure that I agree with you 100% on your police work there, Andy. Or is this more of a '60% of the time it works every time' scenario?--Martin Arrowsmith (talk) 21:22, 26 February 2018 (UTC)
Did he do that hard hitting research in his ass? The Blade of the Northern Lights (話して下さい) 03:00, 28 February 2018 (UTC)

As in many scenarios, watch closely for what they -aren't- saying on Conservapedia. No mention of Ben Carson blowing $200k to decorate his office when he's seeking $6,800,000k in cuts for services provided by said office. Not one mention of Hope Hicks or Rob Porter. Not one mention of Jared's loss of security clearance. No mention of Trump's clear advocation of taking guns away from gun owners without due process. Utter silence. When exactly did they stop attempting to throw shade on the investigation into Trump's collusion with Russian intelligence assets in favor of ignoring it completely, I wonder? The most recent I could find was them loudly demanding the release of the Devin Nunes FISA memo on January 20th, presumably because it contained a video of every Democratic member of Congress attending a Black Mass, but absolutely no mention on MPR since then. Semipenultimate (talk) 16:42, 1 March 2018 (UTC)

Dear Semipenultimate, the failure to mention those things are certainly among cp:Donald Trump achievements.Hclodge (talk) 07:25, 6 March 2018 (UTC)

1990sguy must be a parodist[edit]

Can any serious conservative write "Bannon and Roger Ailes of Fox News Channel had relations with each other" there is more sexual innuendo than in most CP pages. Hclodge (talk) 07:21, 6 March 2018 (UTC)

Similarly, can any serious conservative delete "In the Trump Administration, HBCU outreach has been led by Omarosa Manigault." Hclodge (talk) 07:40, 6 March 2018 (UTC)

Although he was abrasive, Ed Poor did try to keep Conservapedia usable, spending man-years on that effort. He voiced his concerns in cp:Essay:Campaign to make Conservapedia unusable in 2013. Some editors like User:Quidam65 have been continuing his work. However, Quidam65 is being harassed by User:1990'sguy, leading to this slap back claiming (once again) that 1990sguy is an "administrator." Hclodge (talk) 08:36, 8 March 2018 (UTC)

Is something wrong with the voting?[edit]

For some reason the moment I posted a link it started out with a score of 70 votes rather than 0 — Unsigned, by: / talk / contribs

You need to increment the counter in the markup. I've fixed this for you. Cosmikdebris (talk) 21:37, 11 March 2018 (UTC)
With reference to this story I suspect Andy is either a secret LSD user or wants to show that he is the most insane of the CP sysops. Does he really think Katy Perry murdered the Nun with the help of an evil spirit possessing her? That is insane, I doubt even Alex Jones could have come up with that one.--Mercian (talk) 01:31, 12 March 2018 (UTC)
It's right up there with Karakjerk's "ok, so this lens flare from a video of the Egyptian riots is totally a sign that the Four Horsemen are coming back, and even if it's not real, it's still totally a sign!" LongLostLegend (talk) 09:24, 12 March 2018 (UTC)