Conservapedia:Gang of Four

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In-depth analysis

The Gang of Four is a group of four sysops on Conservapedia that essentially run and rule the website by weight of ego alone, imposing their will upon others, and mercilessly blocking any opposition; basically like Fox News without any adult supervision or liberal bias.

Current Gang of Four[edit]

With Conservapedia at its fifteenth birthday at the end of 2021, the Gang of Four has changed with the times. It goes without saying that Andrew Schlafly, ever reliable, remains as potent a farce as ever, while others got taken out with the garbage or just got bored and left. The controversial past behind TK is oversighted water under the bridge in Conservapedia's public image, while Conservative's various anti-X projects[note 1] have seen him rise through the Gang of Four to take over RobS's place. The Gang of Four, as of 2022, can be considered as;

  • Aschlafly, who remains at the top of the wolf pack for the obvious reason of owning the website.
  • Rob "RobS" Smith (not to be confused with the infinitely cooler Robert Smith from The Cure) is something of a mystery. He is utterly obsessed with espionage, treachery, Joe Biden, and Communism, and has created many pages, on both Wikipedia and Conservapedia, about spies. His user page has formerly had some entertaining material,[1] primarily centred around his love for anti-Communists such as James Angleton and Joseph McCarthy.[2] His obsession with Franklin D. Roosevelt is unlike anything seen since Archie Bunker and All in the Family went off the air in 1979.
  • Conservative joined the 2010 Gang of Four after years of work on Conservapedia and months of non-stop editing sprees which commonly last for days. Conservative has something of an obsession with Homosexuality, Abortion and Evolution, and the various projects he's involved in on Conservapedia[note 2] along with his 10-edits-for-one-sentence editing style has earned him a place in the Gang of Four.

The Former Gang of Four[edit]

The Former Gang[edit]

  • Andy "Man Mental" Schlafly is the universally acknowledged visible leader of CP. He has been written about elsewhere, of course. No political position is too reactionary for him, no personal viewpoint too bizarre,[3] no scientific achievement too fundamental and important for him not to censor,[4] no scientific achievement so widely accepted, or its liberal socialist pacifist Jewish author so renowned, that Andy can't come up with ridiculous ways to criticize it,[5] and no abuse of his fellow man/woman too despicable for him to practice.[6]
  • Terry "TK" Koeckritz was, prior to his banning, always at the forefront of dubious behavior. He censored an open letter from AmesG[note 3] from a sysop's talk page.[7] Apparently he couldn't trust her to make her own decisions about what she should read and what should be on other people's talk pages. TK could spin, equivocate, and dissemble with the best of them. He edited a reference to Former Vice President Cheney having shot Harry Whittington to say that the latter "received buck shot to the face and neck after [moving] into [Cheney's] blind spot". Apparently, the septuagenarian Whittington is faster than a speeding bullet.[note 4]
  • Karajou, while sometimes thought of as one of the more reasonable members of Conservapedia for not being as prolifically deranged as the rest of the Gang, has proved time and time again that he can be as merciless as he wants, dealing out devastatingly witty insults in blocking comments.[8] He also gained some Conserva-cred for his "Weekly Toons"[note 5] which were released weekly by Conservapedian standards.[note 6]
  • Ed Poor, disgraced former Wikipedian, is now just a "lap dog" willing to do the bidding of those who will tolerate him. He is renowned both on Conservapedia and RationalWiki for making world class article stubs, typically about movies concerning a) the sex lives of young women, b) the rape of young women, or c) genocide.[9] His frequent helpful advice to new Conservapedians can be summed up as:
    • Obey sysops at all times.
    • Don't revert anything by sysops.
    • Don't disagree with sysops.
    • Don't argue with sysops.
    • Don't antagonize sysops in any way.
    • Submit a writing plan.
    • If any sysop tells you to do something, do it.
    • Andrew Schlafly's decisions are the law.

Other figures[edit]

Former figures of prominence on Conservapedia include:

DanH was retired by TK in June 2009[10] after a year of no editing, DeanS was MIA, retired on 8 August 2010[11], Jinxmchue retired in early June 2010[12] and Mr Rayment left in March 2009 to create A Storehouse of Knowledge after becoming increasingly uncomfortable with the direction Conservapedia was heading in,[13] and being a far more decent and reasonable man in comparison with the rest of the Conservapedia alumni.

The Conservapedia "Panel"[edit]

Supposedly lurking in the background is a mysterious entity known as the Conservapedia "Panel" or the Student "Panel". It is sometimes hinted that this shadow entity consists of Andy's former home-schooled students. If true, then, considering the near-mythical power that they wield, they must be on an ego trip unseen since Monica LewinskyWikipedia.

The "Panel" is generally brought up only when particularly sensitive issues need to be ruled on, as in "The Panel has decided that there will no further changes to the evolution article." This suggests that the "Panel" wields even more power than Andy. More likely, Andy simply uses them as a way of giving himself an even more grandiose aura of power than he already has.

The "Panel" never actually participates in day-to-day activities. They are summoned as though they were a Delphic oracle. It seems that only Andy has the power to communicate with the "Panel". Andy's uncanny and mysterious ability to summon the "Panel" is somewhat similar to Clark Kent's uncanny and mysterious ability to summon Superman.

The CPanel did little and, as of January 7th 2022, hasn't edited for fourteen years,[14] which would seem to indicate an extreme lack of interest in the project by Andy's charges.

Origin of the term[edit]

  • The original "Gang of Four"Wikipedia were a group of four leaders who were arrested for their role in the cultural revolution after Chairman Mao died.
  • The "Gang of Four" is also used in reference to the founding members (David Owen, Roy Jenkins, Shirley Williams and Bill Rogers) of the UK Social Democratic PartyWikipedia (SDP) (later to merge with the Liberal Party to create the woefully inept Liberal Democrats) who broke away from the Labour Party in 1981.
  • The equally original and even more influential "Gang of Four" were a British musical group, responsible for such classics as "Anthrax", "Damaged Goods", "At Home He Feels Like a Tourist", "I Found That Essence Rare", and "I Love a Man in a Uniform". They weren't even named after the nasty bastards mentioned above.

Always in our hearts[edit]

TK, (aka Teacake), an original member of the Gang of Four, was as much of a bastard one man army as ever after being banned from Conservapedia for apparently insulting Andy but later having the block lifted. Banhammered by a Higher Sysop from "editing 'Earth'" 17 December 2010.


  1. Where "X" = "Liberal values"
  2. Such as the Richard Dawkins Project, the Anti-Abortion Project, the Conservative Bible Project, the Anti-Socialism Project, etc, etc, etc
  3. That's right, our AmesG!
  4. Take that, liberals!
  5. See RationalWiki's attempts at livening them up.
  6. i.e. whenever the hell Karajou felt like it